22 January 2013

Churns my insides and the wheels are in motion

So we're trying to sort out the wedding, one small step at a time.

There will be dancing. And flowers. And we will be wearing something. Probably purple underwear...and not much else, right now.

Maybe these?



Aptly named, I feel.

We started to look at suits but...it's a huge choice, and John sort of needs to see a few before getting a feel for a style he'd like. But we'll get there. He knows he doesn't want to have pink pinstripes, so far :) But there was a beautiful suit there, brown with orange pinstripes. I mean, wouldn't suit either of us, but it was a really nice suit. So we're getting places on other details - what it'll be made of - Wool, high twist. I'll probably go with a very dark grey or black. And I'd like a purple lining :)

No idea where we're going to tie the knot either. There are quite a lot of nice places around, but a lot of it depends on numbers, and that's a decision we're avoiding right now.


So... anyway, I don't know if it's thinking about it all or what, but now I'm having wedding dreams. Nightmares, whatever. I mean, it's a bit early for that really, isn't it? I was prepared for night-before wedding scenario nightmares, but now? Ridiculous. Still, enough for me to be up and about at a completely ridiculous time of the morning for the last two mornings.

Sherlock climbed in with us this morning. I was reading with a mug of coffee, John was completely unconscious. Didn't even move when Sherlock used him as a backrest. At one point I actually shoved my hand on his back to check he was still breathing/had a heartbeat. Daresay that'll work it's way into my dreams tonight!

As for today - least said the better. Any morning that starts with a horribly compromised key piece of evidence and two charred bodies isn't going to bode well, is it?

In better news, I have now managed to both make and recieve phonecalls on my phone. And text.

No idea how to get all my old contacts off my old phone onto this one...but I can't even be bothered to try right now!


And, err...back by popular* demand, I believe someone mentioned a 'Lestallion's Upstanding Column of Love'.

(*one of you asked for it.)

Here's what Sherlock has to say on the matter:

"It's not what the blog is for it's for murders! But if you want to talk about all that love stuff then you can but I'm not wasting my brain on it because I've got more important things to use my brain space for not things about kissing and sloppy stuff (yes, he said sloppy, not soppy...)"

So there. Have at it.

113 comments:

pandabob said...

the whole run up to a wedding from the moment you decide to do it is exciting and scary and dreams and sleepless night are caused by both of those things so what chance do you have ;-)

I'm sorry works been not good today but I'm glad you've almost sorted your phone, new technology is fun and frustrating at the same time!

Enjoy your evening :-)

Anon Without A Name said...

Nice pants. If that's what you and John decide to wear, photos would be lovely :-p

I'll try to think of something appropriately sloppy for Lestallion's Upstanding Column.

Greg Lestrade said...

you don't have to think of sloppy things for my column, I assure you.

AnonyBob - I go through long stages of being paralysed with fear and unable to think about any wedding related things at all. Why can't it be easy?

pandabob said...

in general it could be easy, you could head to the registry office with two strangers and be married without anyone knowing and just arrive home with your rings on.

In reality its not that easy for lots of reasons, weddings are always tricky things and that's if you have no prior knowledge of the things. I have no idea how to finish this comment without saying something I probably shouldn't.

weddings are bloody scary things but step by step you two will get it sorted I'm sure :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

My log-like sleep was quite restful if that helps at all.

I'm sorry you're having wedding nightmares.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm glad. It looked it. I'm sure you needed it.

If it helps at all, all the nightmares involve either me not getting there, or you not being there. None of them actually involve the two of us managing to get married :)

Anonymous said...

Do oysters actually make for an upstanding column of love then?

John H. D. Watson said...

L - good to know! Since I assume we'll be going together, I promise to make sure you arrive on time. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, Anon...apparently they are high in a certain sort of amino acid that triggers sex hormones.

But they don't do anything for me - just taste of sea water and feel a bit slimy.

I think if you like them, there's probably a pretty strong mental suggestion to find it all very sexy.

I get the same mental suggestion from eating garlicky pizza with John ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

Danger - really? I assumed we wouldn't. I mean, bad luck to see each other first, isn't it? Or is that just a stupid tradition we're doing away with?

Anon Without A Name said...

You make your own luck, Lestrade:-)

Greg Lestrade said...

..it's stupid, isn't it. I mean, it's not even like we wouldn't know what each other was going to wear.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, all right. I just assumed since we live together, we'd be going there together, but we don't have to.

Greg Lestrade said...

no, you're right, we've got the boys to get ready too, it'd be silly not to go together.

Small Hobbit said...

Maybe you could go separately, but each being escorted by one of the boys. Possibly better if Mycroft went with L, in case he and Sherlock did something silly (like bought a giant blow up crocodile) on the way.

John H. D. Watson said...

SH - and that is a real possibility.

pandabob said...

I don't know SH Greg and Mycroft seem to come up the daftest ideas when they're together ;-)

REReader said...

Or you could assign a Holmes groomsman each to get you there, that would definitely assure everyone is there on the minute. (Or, in Sherlock's case, earlier! :) )

REReader said...

Ha, SH! (I swear I didn't see that until after I posted my comment. :))

Greg Lestrade said...

SH - a blow up crocodile? I just can't wait to see John's face now when a large inflatable croc walks me down the aisle to give me away ;)

AnonyBob - Mycroft has to stay with John, he knows Debretts off by heart. John and a suit may not reach the wedding in anything like the right order otherwise...

pandabob said...

You mean if Mycroft wasn't there John might turn up in a lovely new jumper instead of a suit ;-)

Anonymous said...

This isn't exactly the sort of question you column is famed for--but what do you think of President Obama putting gay marriage into his inaugural address yesterday?

REReader said...

But it would be a purple jumper, Anony!

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - well I don't believe he'd turn up with his cufflinks done correctly!

Anon - Um, did he? Sorry, I haven't heard the speech, and nothing I heard on the news mentioned that. Was it good?

Anonymous said...

I thought it was good! But not everyone does.

This is the bit I was talking about: "We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths – that all of us are created equal – is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.

It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law – for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. "

John H. D. Watson said...

I could do cufflinks. Less sure about a cravat.

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - Sounds good to me. I mean, the whole equality bit, not just the gay bit. I never quite understand why people fight for any certain part of equality...just fight for all of it!

Danger - so you might go for a cravat? I shall look underdressed!

John H. D. Watson said...

Well...probably not, no. But someone else would have to tie it if I did.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of cufflinks

Sherlock

http://media-cache0.pinterest.com/upload/238339005250877895_0drocGAX_b.jpg

John

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_B6J6nGs6VwA/STK7_tchf5I/AAAAAAAAMOg/Kv4uQKDrx3U/s320/Hedgehog+Cufflinks+by+Wendy+Brandes.jpg

Lestrade

http://media.thomaspink.com/pws/images/catalogue/products/80310101V2X/product/80310101V2X.jpg

Mycroft

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/4121yGt9JzL._SY395_.jpg

Jaws is sad today said...

Sorry Greg, it was me, please don't feel the need to answer, especially after your day, it sounds like it was difficult and nasty.

Mine wasn't exactly stellar either, waiting for some communication from my boyfriend. Nothing.

Anyways, my question. What do you do if you're in a loving, committed, honest relationship with someone you love and adore and you have a long standing problem with infidelity?
As in not just previous to this relationship but during it as well (3 separate times over a year, all involving alcohol to a certain extent). We've discussed the most recent time and he said we were okay now, left back to his on Sunday and since then hasn't communicated apart from one very strange text. Clearly we're not alright and I don't know what to do.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, give over, a cravat is easier than a tie!

Anon - those are brilliant cuff links! Although hedgehogs hadn't entirely occurred to me for John. But they do have a striking resemblance...

Greg Lestrade said...

Jaws - sorry to hear that.

And, sorry, because I know you probably don't want to think about it much - although it sounds like you're doing little else - but when you say a 'problem with infidelity', do you mean you, or him, or both of you? I'm sort of assuming you, from the result?

John H. D. Watson said...

a cravat is easier than a tie!

Not if you've never tied a cravat and have tied a tie...

Jaws said...

It's me.

And yeah I can't really think about anything else.

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, it's almost a half windsor, with an extra loop and no end-tuck, unless you want to shun tradition and go for a ruche, in which case it's pretty much a half windsor, but much looser.

Anonymous said...

column of love question.

do you think homosexual sex is easier than hetrosexual sex because both partners at least have some clue how the other partner feels and what might be feel good for them?

Greg Lestrade said...

Jaws - that's really tough. I'm assuming from you describing the relationship as 'honest' that he knows about all the times? And that you don't have some sort of mutual agreement in place for 'seeing' other partners?

I mean, it does sound like he's not okay with it - but what you can do about that, if he doesn't want to talk, is a bit difficult to say.

I'm not entirely sure I'm the best person to ask. I've always been...well, probably ridiculously faithful. I mean, given that I've known past partners have been with other people and I've just sort of hoped that if I ignored the problem it would somehow resolve.

I think, once he's ready to talk, you just need to be honest about things with him - and yourself - if you think it will happen again, don't promise it won't, that sort of thing. And then it's got to be between the two of you if you both want to keep going with the relationship or not.

I hope he's ready to communicate soon. Waiting is so hard.

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - John would probably be better at answering this! He has, as it were, played for both teams ;)

I suppose I'd probably say no, because what feels good just isn't as simple as having one set of plumbing or the other.

For instance, I could lick John's nipples all day (I really could....) and he'd end up with wet nipples and a wry grin. He can lick..suck..bite ;) mine for 30 seconds and I'll be a writhing heap promising him the moon on a stick...

And it's the same with everything else - genitals to the most random erogenous zones - there's no saying what will feel good to someone and not someone else.

(Anyone else love having the web of skin between their fingers squeezed...because I really have always thought that was slightly weird.)

Of course, knowing the general anatomy of your partner does help a lot!

Jaws said...

He knows about the other times and wouldn't be okay for me to see anyone else, which is fair.

I think it probably will happen again, not because I'm not committed to him, but because of my past actions. I don't like being this person.
And I don't think he can accept if I do it again, but we both really want to keep the relationship going.

That's the thing, he's clearly not okay with it, but won't say anything. It's killing me.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, agreed. It's much more about the person you're with than the basic equipment.

Greg Lestrade said...

not that your equipment is basic, JohnnyBoy ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

Jaws - then, and I know this doesn't help, I think you're just left waiting for him to be ready.

Sorry, I know that must be really hard.

Anonymous said...

is it possible to have a first time that isn't terrible?

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - Yes, I'm sure it's possible! I think you just need to be comfortable with yourself, with each other, and with the fact that sex is a funny old business, and it may not go perfectly, or, at the first (few) time of asking, may not go at all.

Anonymous said...

Not sure how to phrase this, so please forgive me if this sounds totally daft.

I was in a relationship several years ago that was pretty bad. Ever since I got out I've found it really hard to trust someone again. I want to be in a relationship, but letting the other person get close to me is hard. Any tips?

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - doesn't sound daft at all. And I'll think about it. SOrry, just fell asleep on the sofa, I've got to try and get some proper sleep or I'll be one of Sherlock's beloved zombies in the morning.

Jaws said...

Thanks for the advice Greg, I'll just keep baking cakes and sticking with it.

And first time anon, mine was actually pretty great, guess I just got lucky!

Anonymous said...

Jaws,
you might offer to stop drinking. Or to limit it to when you're with him. If he sees the change in the one behavior, he'll probably believe you mean to change the other.

Anonymous said...

is it okay to say yes to make the other person happy, even if you'd just as soon not?

Anonymous said...

How can you bring up to someone who is pretty much congenitally repressed, that you'd like them to initiate or take the lead once in a while?

REReader said...

Anon - Sounds good to me. I mean, the whole equality bit, not just the gay bit. I never quite understand why people fight for any certain part of equality...just fight for all of it!

I can't speak for Anon, but that's exactly what I liked about that part of the speech--that Obama correctly identified all these movements as part of the same drive for equal human rights.

Desert Wanderer said...

Lestrade, remind me again why it's Greg the Florist and not Greg the Tailor?

(and I am with you on the odd hours of the morning thing...)

Greg Lestrade said...

DW - floristry sounds more relaxing? I do like clothes, though.

You lot have been busy overnight! And I'm busy now, I shall answer some when I get a mug of coffee and a spare moment.

pandabob said...

better day today Greg? I hope it a little less stressful than yesterday even if only a lttle bit :-)

Anonymous said...

What's your advice, DI lestallion, to someone who fancies a fellow officer of the same rank but he's on about getting married all the time.

DI Dimmock

Sherlock said...

Its snowing big flakes but it isn't landing

Anonymous said...

if you've been seeing a person exclusively for a long while but still don't want to, does that mean you aren't really in love with them?

pandabob said...

really Sherlock? more snow, that's brilliant :-)

REReader said...

Sherlock--if my Weather Channel app is right, it's a little above freezing in London so it's probably all melting as it lands. It might start sticking if it gets heavy enough--but big flakes are pretty to watch falling, even if they don't accumulate. Or maybe it will get colder!

(It's -9.5C/15F in NYC--TOO cold!--but very sunny so no snow.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Dimmo, why didn't you say anything in that two hour meeting we've just spent together? My advice would be to run into his office, throw yourself into his arms and give him a big kiss.

Or track down whichever officer thinks s/he's a comedian...

Sherlock, it is pretty to look at though, right? Maybe it'll keep snowing tonight and settle (making the roads lethal).

Anonymous said...

Dimmock if you have him I can have the nanny so do it

Sergeant Sally

pandabob said...

Hows the afternoon going Greg? meetings and paperwork or something more interesting?

Is the snow sticking yet Sherlock? Everything has melted around here so everywhere is just wet and brown :-(

I hope you've had a good day John.

pandabob said...

The spam filter obviously thinks I'm too nosy ;-)

Anon Without A Name said...

Aww, I thought police officers were supposed to be observant... but anyone here can tell you that's not how Sally signs her blog comments - and she uses punctuation :-p

Having a "fun" day, Lestrade?

Sherlock - I'm glad you've got more snow, even if it's not settling. It was snowing again here last night and this morning, but almost all of it's melted now :-(

Anonybob - good lord, what did you ask?

Anon Without A Name said...

LOL - the captcha on my previous comment was "notpol" :-D

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry, yeah I'm fine. To answer your spam filter questions no one else can see ... Snow didn't settle. Case is going as we'll as it could. I'm surrounded by people who missed their calling to the stand up circuit... The usual.

Greg Lestrade said...

Nameless - well, you know how you lot were talking about if anyone could shock me? All I can say is that her questions made me blush. And squirm. And blush again. She's a right minx ;)

(Sorry AnonyBob, had to let them know your true colours ;) )

REReader said...

*giggling*

Anon Without A Name said...

I'm impressed, Anonybob :-)

Lestrade - blushing and squirming in the office? Whatever will your colleagues say? ;-p

pandabob said...

I swear it was only blog advice I was after Greg I’m sorry if you misinterpreted my question, I meant turning text red nothing else ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, Anony, to answer then:

No, should never go that colour! Yes, you'd be amazed what can happen when you relax.

With practice, it'll be fine. Stretching daily will help.

And I'll have to look the rest up at home ;)

pandabob said...

Thank you Greg that is very useful information ;-)

I hope you escape work soon and that you have a good evening :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

My day has consisted of working out all the complicated threads of a murder-suicide. It's been horrible.

Whoever it was making those silly comments actually brightened my day - as did you lot.

(And AnonyBob, no, my personal belief is that that should *never* go in there.)

And now I'm pretty much ready to go home. And hope John and Sherlock have had better days. Although I think Danger might have seen Dr E, so...perhaps not.

REReader said...

I'm sorry you had a rough day, L. And I hope all of you have a good, warm-feelings evening.

pandabob said...

sorry the days been hard Greg but I'm glad you found something to make you smile :-)

(Really?? ooops)

I hope your boys are ok when you get home :-)

Sherlock said...

The snow didn't say and Lestrade isn't home yet and I want jelly and John says we haven't got any.

REReader said...

I'm sorry you're having a not-so-good evening, Sherlock. Maybe cuddles all around will help a bit?

Sherlock said...

Jelly would help but I texted Lestrade and he didn't answer so he might not have got it in time but I hope he did.

REReader said...

I hope he saw it, too. It's not fun, feeling a bit not right-ish.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry kiddo, no jelly.

Greg Lestrade said...

(no jelly 'isn't fair', I'd like you all to know. Because I sure know it now.)

REReader said...

(Oh, dear. Is John feeling a bit blue, too?)

pandabob said...

not fair but totally reasonable I would say.

Smile Sherlock its better for you than jelly :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

Who's been voting for me to wear a cravat?

Sherlock said...

I want a cravat why isn't there a vote for me having a cravat?

REReader said...

(I'd offer virtual hugs all around, but I'm sure real life cuddles from each other would be preferred.)

I'm sure it wasn't me, John!

What kind of cravat do you have in mind, Sherlock? There seem to be a great many styles, from what I can see on the interwebs.

Sherlock said...

I don't know Lestrade showed me a picture of one I don't know how many styles there are but if I had a cravat that could be purple if I couldn't have a whole purple shirt.

REReader said...

A purple cravat could be very nice, or a purple tie. Or maybe you could have a purple pocket square (I think that's what they're called).

Sherlock said...

A tie IS a cravat!

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock! Be polite.

REReader said...

Technically quite correct. But since Lestrade was using the two terms to mean different things last night, I thought you were, too. I shouldn't have assumed.

Sherlock said...

YOU SAID cravat really meant all ties and then there were some ties that didn't have another name so we still call them cravats even though ties and bow ties and everything ARE cravats.

pandabob said...

what's wrong Sherlock? you don't sound yourself tonight. I hope you're ok.

Greg Lestrade said...

And if you want to explain that to everyone you can do it POLITELY.

If you can't be polite tonight you'll be off the internet until you've remembered how.

Greg Lestrade said...

NonyBob - think it's acombo of being excitied about Mycroft coming home, the lack of snow, the lack of jelly and he just seems very hyperactive.

pandabob said...

I hope he settles down soon, I don't like it when he seems not himself but there are lots of reasons for him to be feeling excited and fed up so its not surprising really.

good luck with him :-)

REReader said...

He does sound a bit...not himself.

Is Mycroft coming home this weekend already? That would be lovely. :)


(I wasn't insulted personally. A bit concerned, more.)

Greg Lestrade said...

you know how it is, he's at his most energetic when you've got the least fuel left in the tank to deal with it. He's in a mood with me because I didn't let him clamber all over me when I got in. Or bring jelly, obviously.

REReader said...

Well...I hope the evening improves substantially for all of you from here on in.

pandabob said...

why is it that the less energy they should have the more they have? It doesn't make sense and its quite unfair on them I always feel.

being little isn't easy is it?

Greg Lestrade said...

he's now settled with my new phone and watching David Attenborough.

REReader said...

That sounds better.

And I hope you are settled with your Doc. :)

pandabob said...

be careful Greg he'll be using your new phone to answer some of them there questions ;-)

I'm glad he's relaxed and feeling a bit better.

Greg Lestrade said...

...was better. Now he's being a Springbok and pronking all over the sitting room.

Greg Lestrade said...

I need a docu on sloths....

pandabob said...

bed time soon, just hang on to the fact that it'll be bed time soon ;-)

Anonymous said...

I voted for both of you to wear cravats, what can I tell you? I like formal wear (on other people obviously, not on me)

Lancs. Anon

Greg Lestrade said...

People who've asked questions - I'll answer them, promise, but it'll probably be in a post tomorrow now. Need to spend a bit of time with John. I hope you understand.

Anonymous said...

Course we do, sleep well when you get to it, gentlemen

Anonymous said...

no problem at all!

Anon Without A Name said...

Have a good rest of the evening, gents.

Anonymous said...

See, that's why we ask you questions. Because you have your relationship priorities straight.

Greg Lestrade said...

Some would say my relationship priorities are far from straight ;)

thanks, all of you.
Night.

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