17 July 2014

The policemen they're acting so tough.

The missing criminal, I'm glad to say, has been apprehended. He tried to leave the country, but for once, happily, someone was actually watching at the port, and they nabbed him. It's not often our ports are really watched, but hey, worked this time.

Sherlock has discovered that there is some form of school trip in the offing, to celebrate the end of term. I think there are options, but he has firmly chosen some sort of water-based adventure. He wants to go sailing, but as far as John's investigative work has gone, it seems to be canoeing that he'll actually do. He'll still love it, because his lust for life is insatiable, which is something to be seen. And envied, on occasion.

He found this earlier, and eagerly showed me when I got home. I wonder what we'll do that lasts that long...not much. It does make me wish, sometimes, that I made things, instead of....whatever it is that I do.

It's bloody hot here at the moment. Hot and sticky and generally unpleasant. But they say storms are in the offing, maybe at the weekend. Let's hope so. John says as much as he's watering the allotment every day it's still looking a bit droopy.

I was going to take tomorrow off, but now I've got court for the scrote we picked up. So I might take a bit of next week off instead. And then, shockingly, it's the summer holidays and there will be hours and hours of Sherlock to entertain. And we haven't even thought about a holiday yet.

Jess is two tomorrow. We haven't seen her and Rach for ages.


114 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

I think you're missing Sherlock's link? And I hope that tag combination isn't prescient... I know what you mean about making things.

Greg Lestrade said...

oh cock.

Greg Lestrade said...

should be done now...

John H. D. Watson said...

I see it now. That is one old boat...

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, amazing, eh? Although I hope he gets something a bit more modern. And a lifejacket.

John H. D. Watson said...

How do you feel about canoes?

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the article, it was very interesting. I may have missed it in another post, but has Sherlock seen the 4 winged dino that was found, yet?

It's so odd to be reading that Sherlock is almost finished with school. My youngest (who will be 9) is starting school again in 3 1/2 weeks!

Hope that scrote (I did chuckle out loud at the name) gets nailed to the board, L.

~EchoOfMe

Greg Lestrade said...

Err... couldn't eat a whole one?

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure they'll be looking for people to go along. Just saying.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha! You had enough water-based adventures with his class then?

John H. D. Watson said...

Well, my phone didn't survive its last canoeing trip.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha! True. Yeah, tell Mrs N if they need anyone I can probably free up a day. Although I'm fairly sure a doctor would be more use to them!

Can I whap the annoying ones around the head with my paddle?

John H. D. Watson said...

Hopefully they won't need a doctor!

They might be too fast...

Greg Lestrade said...

What are you saying about me?? Think I'm slow, do you, Doc? Wait 'til I chase you up those stairs...

John H. D. Watson said...

Can't wait.

Greg Lestrade said...

I mean to ask, speaking of school trips - did spider actually reassure anyone on the boat?? Or cause mass panic? Or did she just web it up in your bag, all sad and unloved?

John H. D. Watson said...

She was borrowed for the night by one of Sherlock's classmates who was missing her bear. Apparently a spider was an acceptable substitute.

Greg Lestrade said...

And did she actually get any sleep, or did Sherlock tell her a million times that he had made Spider himself?

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. This was after Sherlock was asleep, actually. She couldn't sleep. The gruesome bedtime stories might've had something to do with that.

REReader said...

Then Spider's aid was extremely appropriate. :)

Happy birthday to Jess!

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, he said every time the ship made a noise he explained it could be a body washing against it.

Have we created a small, energetic, monster??

John H. D. Watson said...

No, we've just nurtured his interests.

Greg Lestrade said...

We could have nurtured glitter and baking more.

Then the world would have ended on a delicious sparkly note, not one with the undead floating around a ghost ship...

John H. D. Watson said...

What makes you think it won't end with glittery undead on a ghost ship filled with chocolate cakes?

Greg Lestrade said...

Things I love about you: Your optimism. Your arse. (And many many other parts of you which I won't detail ;) )

John H. D. Watson said...

Didn't you promise to chase me off to bed a while ago?

Greg Lestrade said...

You better start running - I'll give you a headstart, on account of your short legs ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

I'll give you a head start.

Greg Lestrade said...

ooh, fightin' talk ;)

Anonymous said...

What makes you think it won't end with glittery undead on a ghost ship filled with chocolate cakes?

THIS. This flight of creepily compelling fantasy is exactly why the universe (with an assist from Ms. Holmes, perhaps) guided you, John, to Sherlock. Caring for someone is one thing - entering into their vision of life's possibilities is even harder!

Me, I think that once he matures a bit (and after a couple of years of intensive safety and first aid training) Sherlock would make a fantastic baby sitter. For older, ambulatory and hardy children. He would be SO MUCH FUN. And never run out of energy.

He might find it boring, though, and that wouldn't end well for anyone involved.

Wishing everyone a good night & day. Good sleep, good days, and a break in the temperatures for those of you who are hot in places where air conditioning is not nearly-ubiquitous. (Is the court house air conditioned, or do you get to wear a suit to swelter in tomorrow?)

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

The court is not air conditioned. But depending on the courtroom some are cool just because they're in the huge old stone buildings.

There is an almighty electrical storm going on. The dogs and Maf are not appreciating it. It is not really lowering the temp.

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll wish you one of the cooler courtrooms, then. Hope the weather settles so the critters and you can get to sleep. (I've often thought that in the wildly unlikely event that I found a contemplative religious vocation, I'd make it my life's work to pray for good sleep for people. It makes almost anything better/more bearable.)

fA

Anonymous said...

help theres a cat asleep on my lap i cant move he's purring so much my belly has gone numb help

ella

Anonymous said...

So, Ella, your neighborhood semi-stray is now your cat? Or did you have one already and I've forgotten? Either way, the cat's clearly got the upper . . . paw. Maf would be proud.

fA

Anonymous said...

He's still a semi-stray in that I throw him out of the house at night (I'm allergic, so he can't sleep with me, and I don't have a litter box, so I don't feel okay letting him stay in anyway), but when he comes by and I let him in the house he's definitely in no hurry to leave. I have caught myself thinking of him as mine. He's the most attention-demanding cat I've ever met, though, which I find alternately endearing and aggravating (I'm used to cats with whom I can live in a state of mutual unacknowledgement).

Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

So the plane that's been shot down was full of experts on AIDs, on the way to a conference. I guess we'll never know how many will die as a result of that.

Anonymous said...

There are days I am glad that we can't really know how the scales balance between the crappy, destructive, cruel, awful acts and the kind, unselfish, problem-solving, generous acts in the world. Because if you don't filter for scale, there are a lot of both.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

Right, my bit of court done and dusted. Now what to do...go and sit in a boiling office sweating and sticking to paperwork ....or go and ambush my husband for some lunch in a shady spot? Choices choices.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't sound like much of choice to me. My psychic powers figure it wasn't for you, either.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

It's completely selfish. I just love the way he looks genuinely pleased to see me when I pop by unnannounced.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm always pleased to see you.

Greg Lestrade said...

You always look especially happy when you're at home sorting socks or washing up or something. It's really nice.

Greg Lestrade said...

Anyone observing Ramadan in this weather...I salute your dedication. Until you nearly run me over because you're so out of it you can barely keep your head up.

Sherlock said...

I'm going canoeing next Friday except you or John have to sign the form and say I can swim 25 metres and Mrs N said if you want to come you should and she says that would be good and we have to be at school early for the minibus.

Greg Lestrade said...

Right At school early, eh? No wonder John wants me to go ;)

Joolz said...

That sounds brilliant, Sherlock, I bet you'll have a fabulous time. Have you had a go in a canoe before? :)
Do you get to have a go in a canoe too, Greg or do you have to just stand at the side prepared to dive in for any eventuality. ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

He has had a go, we all went together.

And I'm not sure! I think I get a canoe or at least a boat, to stay near them all.

Rider said...

Scuba kit for shark impressions?

Anonymous said...

I ran across this today, of Obama talking about the scientists killed on the plane:

"In this world today we shouldn’t forget that in the midst of conflict and killing, there are people like these, people who are focused on what can be built rather than what can be destroyed, people who are focused on how they can help people that they’ve never met, people that define themselves not by what makes them different from other people but by the humanity that we hold in common. It’s important for us to lift them up and to affirm their lives. And it’s time for us to heed their example."

Ella

Small Hobbit said...

Thanks, Ella. I like that.

Greg Lestrade said...

Delighted to be able to tell you all that Jo and Lisa had a little boy at 10.01pm on Thursday. They're all well and will let us know when they've picked a name!

pandabob said...

Congratulations to Jo and Lisa, I'm glad they're all doing well.

Desert Wanderer said...

How quickly did you suggest Gregory or John to them, Lestrade? ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure they'll find something more exciting than either of those.

Anonymous said...

Hamish! I vote for Hamish. And congratulations!

Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm not sure if even John would suggest Hamish ;)

Sherlock says something like Sherlock but not actually Sherlock because that's him.

Desert Wanderer said...

Maybelock? Sheropen?

Anonymous said...

Doubtkey?

Desert Wander said...

*bows to Anon* All the points to you, oh Witty One.

Greg Lestrade said...

He thinks you're all very silly.

Anonymous said...

Well, let's change to something decent and military, then. Some precision drilling. Or a cartoon.

Ella

Anonymous said...

Congrats to Jo and Lisa!

We ARE very silly. He's an astute young man.

fA

Anonymous said...

Precision drilling . . . I'd venture that many of us are not properly equipped.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

Speak for yourself :)

Anonymous said...

I think Lestrade got the reference, at least. =D

Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

I was, of course, referring to John, being most adept at military drilling. I can vouch for his adeptness.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh. I was referring to Graham Chapman's Colonel in Monty Python, and the military drilling (I'd scratch your eyes out, two three four....).

Ella

Anonymous said...

Entirely correct, Greg, I was speaking for myself. You and the good doctor, no doubt a different story. Happily. :-)

(And you're right Ella, though I know the sketch, I missed the reference. I blame DW.)

fA

Anonymous said...

Speaking of DW - How's it going? Are you still in Moving Hell, or taking a break from it for your travels?

fA

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Puppy the Cat appeared this morning with a very swollen face, and has been sleeping in my house for going on 12 hours now. I hope whatever stung him doesn't get any worse than that...

Ella

REReader said...

Mazel tov, Jo and Lisa, on the precious addition to your family!

I hope your Puppy gets better, Ella.

Has it cooled off for you in London? It was lovely here today, no higher than 80F, we didn't even have the a.c. on (good thing we didn't need it since we couldn't have done anything about it!).

Desert Wanderer said...

I'm sure I don't know how I acquired such a reputation around here. I can't help it everyone's mind is in the gutter constantly.

The move is going, fA. I'll be officially out of my house next weekend, and nomadic for the next month or so while I work on the visa/getting a place/getting settled, etc. I'm starting to get in the crunch time for things like my visa, though, so fingers crossed it all works out alright. :)

REReader said...

I'm sure I couldn't have seen anything untoward in any of your comments, DW... *innocent smile*

Moving is always a series of crises, best of luck getting through it all happily. And if I can be of assistance, do let me know!

Anonymous said...

DW, it couldn't POSSIBLY be any of your clever and entertaining posts, could it? Perhaps I just misinterpret your wholesome contributions to discourse.

Hope the crunch time passes with good outcomes and you have some fun along the way to your new home. You are going to get some fantastic stories out of this, at the least. At the best, you'll have a blast.

fA

Anonymous said...

Ella, this cat is becoming less and less of a stray by the day. Who's your vet? ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Good luck with the visa DW. You should ask John to have a word with Mrs H ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

You're all suspiciously quiet today.

We have been swimming. John may have been attacked by a noodle.

REReader said...

(shhhh migraine)

Swimming sounds fun...but what kind of noodle?

Greg Lestrade said...

It's a long round float. I guess if you google swimming noodle it'd probably come up.

REReader said...

Ohhhh. (My med-muddled head got stuck on soup. ;))

Anonymous said...

Why do I suspect this noodle was wielded by the senior member of the party? Swimming is good. Swimming followed by fruit is even better. Was there fruit?

My quiet was necessitated by several hours in attempted communication with the oh-so-quaintly named "customer care" department of my Internet provider. I will allow that once one reaches a live body, they are very nice and almost make up for the fact that I wouldn't need a live body if their product performed adequately and the site architecture of their "help" and "problem solving" pages weren't an absolutely criminal rabbit warren of ambiguous choices and dead ends. [all "" marks indicate irony. Or maybe sarcasm].

Irritation compounded by the fact that I know enough about user testing and analysis of page usage/click tracking that they should know about and have fixed most of the minor problems I encountered while trying to solve the major one.

Hope you feel better soon RR.

fA

Kestrel337 said...

Bummer, RR. Hope it passes quickly.

We're repairing a toilet and the faucet in a bathtub. Again. Can't buy beer on Sunday, but tonic water is allowed and I'm sure there's gin.

Anonymous said...

The cat does seem to be digging his claws into my life, doesn't he? I've been assuming that he has a primary family (or perhaps more than one) that he lives with when he's not outside, but the fact that he came to my house when he was hurt is making me rethink that assumption. I was fine with a part time cat, but I don't know how I feel about full custody of one.

I do have a friend who used to be a vet tech and who is also way more familiar with cats than me who's spending some time with him today. He's still mostly sleeping; he was up and about a little this morning, staggering like a drunken pirate cat. It'd be funny if he wasn't so obviously uncomfortable.

Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

Sometimes it works out for the best, Ella. I wasn't sure I wanted a family...but when one got arrested it was me that got called ;)

Hope your/the cat gets better soon.

Kestrel - I don't understand anywhere that stops you buying beer on a Sunday! Uncivilised, I call it ;)

Anonymous said...

"I wasn't sure I wanted a family...but when one got arrested it was me that got called ;)"

I am interpreting this to mean that one day Sally phoned you and said, "Boss, I have arrested a family, what should I do with them?" and you became responsible for finding them suitable accommodation and regular meals. ;)

Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, well, Sherlock was...taken in for his own protection, and apparently, although I didn't know it, I was already his DI, so I was summoned.

At that stage Sal still thought John was some leggy blonde female nanny. As opposed to a not-so-leggy blond male nanny ;)

Anonymous said...

"As opposed to a not-so-leggy blond male nanny ;)"

He's as leggy as any sparkly unicorn needs to be...also leggy enough to run down Sherlock, which is what really matters.

Ella

Anonymous said...

Sherlock was...taken in for his own protection, and apparently, although I didn't know it, I was already his DI,

Kids are smart. I also remember the near eye-roll you got from Mycroft when you asked the boys' opinion on you officially moving in. (Yes. Put bits of your life on the Internet and strangers will creepily remember incidents years later.)

I must opine that you were ready for a family whether or not you realized it consciously. The love and conscious negotiation & navigation of obstacles you & John share with the boys & each other are heartwarming. [I am a sap. I admit it. Even about people so far removed from my "real" life that you might as well be fictional.]

fA

Anonymous said...

Ella - Good luck with your (almost-your) cat! I think you're doomed, if the cat's made up its mind. Your imagined phone call to L. from Sally made me laugh.

fA

Anonymous said...

Kestrel - have you earned your libations? Home repair is definitely gin-worthy. Plumbing is worth doubles. (To be fair, I am very fond of gin, so most life experiences are gin-worthy.)

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

fA - on the contrary, I definitely wasn't ready, until they convinced me I was. Being ready and being ready to be ready are...not that same. It's hard to explain. I was very very ready to be convinced I wasn't good enough, and they did a lot of hard work to make me realise I was.

Desert Wanderer said...

Libations all around, first round's on me. (I'm sure I can finagle something for you, Kestrel. I used to live in a dry county, so I know my way 'round such things. ...Perfectly legally of course.) So, that's a Fat Cat for Ella, a Toilet Bowl for Kestrel, a Hanky Panky each for Doc and Lestrade, a G&G for fA, and a Shirley Temple for RR. Anyone else?

Sherlock said...

what can I have? Can I have banana and cream and coffee?

Sherlock said...

PLEASE

Desert Wanderer said...

You're in luck, Sherlock. I don't think that one's been invented yet. May I recommend "Banana Slammer" as the name for your cocktail? Ponder it while I mix you up one.

Sherlock said...

Lestrade calls it Monkey Fuel because he says it makes me too energetic if he makes it with real coffee but that's how it's best.

Desert Wanderer said...

He clearly doesn't know the difference between monkeys and humans. You should help by making monkey noises at him so he can learn. In fact, to make it scientifically accurate, you should look up online to make sure you know (and can replicate) the difference between all the monkeys, apes, chimps, orangutans, gorillas, etc. and then teach the differences to Lestrade so he won't mistake you for a monkey again.

Anon Without A Name said...

*raises hand*

Well, if you're offering DW, it'd be rude not to ;-)

Kestrel337 said...

I have, indeed, earned my libations. I fixed the toilet so it no longer sounds like a jet taking off when flushed.

Sadly, I also wrenched my back moving a big bag of topsoil into the backyard, or maybe it was schlepping hay yesterday. No booze with my advil, so instead I am having a slice of peanut butter-cream cheese-chocolate cake.

REReader said...

That sounds lovely, thank you DW!

Anonymous said...

to make it scientifically accurate, you should look up online to make sure you know (and can replicate) the difference between all the monkeys, apes, chimps, orangutans, gorillas, etc. and then teach the differences to Lestrade

Oh my god. DW you ARE evil, aren't you?

On the other hand, you mixed me up a G&G (which I assume is gin & gin) which was absolutely brilliant of you! I'll slosh in a bit of seltzer and a squeeze of lime once I've sipped off a few soothing hits of mother's ruin all by its lovely self.

So, on the whole, . . . I'll retract the evil. Downgrade to mischievous.

fA

Anonymous said...

L.- whatever the order of relative states of readiness to be ready, I'm so glad you all ended up where you are.

fA

Anonymous said...

Kestrel - refresh me: We avoid ibuprofen (advil) or aspirin with alcohol because of possible bleeding ulcers, and we avoid acetaminophen (tylenol) with alcohol because of possible liver damage, right?

Because I do, occasionally, ignore the warnings against ibuprofen and alcohol on the grounds that I have no history or issues with ulcers or excessive bleeding, and once in a great while won't hurt. But I carefully heed the ones about acetaminophen on the grounds that I hope to be asking my liver to function in tip top shape for many, many years. Have I got it right?

fA

Unknown said...

arg, my comment got eaten... what did I say? um... oh yeah, if DW is in the virtual pub, I'll have a pint of cider. Ella, your cat seems to be from the same school of thought as Maf: pick a human, adopt it. :) and you're calling him "Puppy"? that's awesome! Kestrel: toilet repair is worth any reward you care to name.
If I had waited till I had "felt ready" I don't think I ever would have had a kid, luckily she didn't wait around that long. I often think of my dad's admonition to us that our biggest job as kids was to bring up our parents.
I love you-guys' story of how you became a family. I hope Sherlock is never embarrassed to hear--or tell--how he claimed L when he was picked up that time, because it is a *great* story, and one that he can enjoy his whole life.
S

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock has indeed provided a cacophony of animal noises to me. For many hours. Seemingly only pausing to attend school or eat. Sometimes.

Anonymous said...

DW has much to answer for.

fA

Desert Wanderer said...

Lestrade, refresh my memory. Visas aren't your division, right?

Greg Lestrade said...

Nope. You'd need Mrs Holmes, who controls everything. Everywhere.

Desert Wanderer said...

That's alright then. She's not living in a one-boy zoo. ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

oooh, I thought you meant sorting out visas! Which I can't do.

Preventing them from being issued is entirely within my powers ;) But I feel it will be easier to inflict a fitting punishment on you once you're in this country...

Desert Wanderer said...

Why do I sense a random stop at the border. "Ms. Wanderer? Come with us." Whereupon I'll be taken to a dark room where I'll be force-fed Marmite while the world's most boring socc-- football matches are shown on every available flat surface and the Wurzels sing in the background.

Anonymous said...

DW, you omitted the visits from overly energetic children with an intense need to share some kind of sound effects. Repetitively. Shrilly. Continuously. Otherwise, you may have it right.

fA

Greg Lestrade said...

fA - the child-provided sound effects are saved for just when she thinks the Wurzel's might have lulled her to sleep. Also asking complex questions and becoming bored before you've finished answering so just talking over you and asking a new question, completely unrelated to the first.

Anonymous said...

Oooohh. Not just overly-energetic children, but bright overly-energetic children. I understand.

(And *I* think having grown/nearly grown children is [while still fascinating] so. much. easier. You and John may suffer serious disorientation as Sherlock grows older.)

fA

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