There will be dancing. And flowers. And we will be wearing something. Probably purple underwear...and not much else, right now.
Maybe these?
We started to look at suits but...it's a huge choice, and John sort of needs to see a few before getting a feel for a style he'd like. But we'll get there. He knows he doesn't want to have pink pinstripes, so far :) But there was a beautiful suit there, brown with orange pinstripes. I mean, wouldn't suit either of us, but it was a really nice suit. So we're getting places on other details - what it'll be made of - Wool, high twist. I'll probably go with a very dark grey or black. And I'd like a purple lining :)
No idea where we're going to tie the knot either. There are quite a lot of nice places around, but a lot of it depends on numbers, and that's a decision we're avoiding right now.
So... anyway, I don't know if it's thinking about it all or what, but now I'm having wedding dreams. Nightmares, whatever. I mean, it's a bit early for that really, isn't it? I was prepared for night-before wedding scenario nightmares, but now? Ridiculous. Still, enough for me to be up and about at a completely ridiculous time of the morning for the last two mornings.
Sherlock climbed in with us this morning. I was reading with a mug of coffee, John was completely unconscious. Didn't even move when Sherlock used him as a backrest. At one point I actually shoved my hand on his back to check he was still breathing/had a heartbeat. Daresay that'll work it's way into my dreams tonight!
As for today - least said the better. Any morning that starts with a horribly compromised key piece of evidence and two charred bodies isn't going to bode well, is it?
In better news, I have now managed to both make and recieve phonecalls on my phone. And text.
No idea how to get all my old contacts off my old phone onto this one...but I can't even be bothered to try right now!
And, err...back by popular* demand, I believe someone mentioned a 'Lestallion's Upstanding Column of Love'.
(*one of you asked for it.)
Here's what Sherlock has to say on the matter:
"It's not what the blog is for it's for murders! But if you want to talk about all that love stuff then you can but I'm not wasting my brain on it because I've got more important things to use my brain space for not things about kissing and sloppy stuff (yes, he said sloppy, not soppy...)"
So there. Have at it.
113 comments:
the whole run up to a wedding from the moment you decide to do it is exciting and scary and dreams and sleepless night are caused by both of those things so what chance do you have ;-)
I'm sorry works been not good today but I'm glad you've almost sorted your phone, new technology is fun and frustrating at the same time!
Enjoy your evening :-)
Nice pants. If that's what you and John decide to wear, photos would be lovely :-p
I'll try to think of something appropriately sloppy for Lestallion's Upstanding Column.
you don't have to think of sloppy things for my column, I assure you.
AnonyBob - I go through long stages of being paralysed with fear and unable to think about any wedding related things at all. Why can't it be easy?
in general it could be easy, you could head to the registry office with two strangers and be married without anyone knowing and just arrive home with your rings on.
In reality its not that easy for lots of reasons, weddings are always tricky things and that's if you have no prior knowledge of the things. I have no idea how to finish this comment without saying something I probably shouldn't.
weddings are bloody scary things but step by step you two will get it sorted I'm sure :-)
My log-like sleep was quite restful if that helps at all.
I'm sorry you're having wedding nightmares.
I'm glad. It looked it. I'm sure you needed it.
If it helps at all, all the nightmares involve either me not getting there, or you not being there. None of them actually involve the two of us managing to get married :)
Do oysters actually make for an upstanding column of love then?
L - good to know! Since I assume we'll be going together, I promise to make sure you arrive on time. :)
Well, Anon...apparently they are high in a certain sort of amino acid that triggers sex hormones.
But they don't do anything for me - just taste of sea water and feel a bit slimy.
I think if you like them, there's probably a pretty strong mental suggestion to find it all very sexy.
I get the same mental suggestion from eating garlicky pizza with John ;)
Danger - really? I assumed we wouldn't. I mean, bad luck to see each other first, isn't it? Or is that just a stupid tradition we're doing away with?
You make your own luck, Lestrade:-)
..it's stupid, isn't it. I mean, it's not even like we wouldn't know what each other was going to wear.
Oh, all right. I just assumed since we live together, we'd be going there together, but we don't have to.
no, you're right, we've got the boys to get ready too, it'd be silly not to go together.
Maybe you could go separately, but each being escorted by one of the boys. Possibly better if Mycroft went with L, in case he and Sherlock did something silly (like bought a giant blow up crocodile) on the way.
SH - and that is a real possibility.
I don't know SH Greg and Mycroft seem to come up the daftest ideas when they're together ;-)
Or you could assign a Holmes groomsman each to get you there, that would definitely assure everyone is there on the minute. (Or, in Sherlock's case, earlier! :) )
Ha, SH! (I swear I didn't see that until after I posted my comment. :))
SH - a blow up crocodile? I just can't wait to see John's face now when a large inflatable croc walks me down the aisle to give me away ;)
AnonyBob - Mycroft has to stay with John, he knows Debretts off by heart. John and a suit may not reach the wedding in anything like the right order otherwise...
You mean if Mycroft wasn't there John might turn up in a lovely new jumper instead of a suit ;-)
This isn't exactly the sort of question you column is famed for--but what do you think of President Obama putting gay marriage into his inaugural address yesterday?
But it would be a purple jumper, Anony!
AnonyBob - well I don't believe he'd turn up with his cufflinks done correctly!
Anon - Um, did he? Sorry, I haven't heard the speech, and nothing I heard on the news mentioned that. Was it good?
I thought it was good! But not everyone does.
This is the bit I was talking about: "We, the people, declare today that the most evident of truths – that all of us are created equal – is the star that guides us still; just as it guided our forebears through Seneca Falls, and Selma, and Stonewall; just as it guided all those men and women, sung and unsung, who left footprints along this great Mall, to hear a preacher say that we cannot walk alone; to hear a King proclaim that our individual freedom is inextricably bound to the freedom of every soul on Earth.
It is now our generation’s task to carry on what those pioneers began. For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law – for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. "
I could do cufflinks. Less sure about a cravat.
Anon - Sounds good to me. I mean, the whole equality bit, not just the gay bit. I never quite understand why people fight for any certain part of equality...just fight for all of it!
Danger - so you might go for a cravat? I shall look underdressed!
Well...probably not, no. But someone else would have to tie it if I did.
Speaking of cufflinks
Sherlock
http://media-cache0.pinterest.com/upload/238339005250877895_0drocGAX_b.jpg
John
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_B6J6nGs6VwA/STK7_tchf5I/AAAAAAAAMOg/Kv4uQKDrx3U/s320/Hedgehog+Cufflinks+by+Wendy+Brandes.jpg
Lestrade
http://media.thomaspink.com/pws/images/catalogue/products/80310101V2X/product/80310101V2X.jpg
Mycroft
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/4121yGt9JzL._SY395_.jpg
Sorry Greg, it was me, please don't feel the need to answer, especially after your day, it sounds like it was difficult and nasty.
Mine wasn't exactly stellar either, waiting for some communication from my boyfriend. Nothing.
Anyways, my question. What do you do if you're in a loving, committed, honest relationship with someone you love and adore and you have a long standing problem with infidelity?
As in not just previous to this relationship but during it as well (3 separate times over a year, all involving alcohol to a certain extent). We've discussed the most recent time and he said we were okay now, left back to his on Sunday and since then hasn't communicated apart from one very strange text. Clearly we're not alright and I don't know what to do.
Oh, give over, a cravat is easier than a tie!
Anon - those are brilliant cuff links! Although hedgehogs hadn't entirely occurred to me for John. But they do have a striking resemblance...
Jaws - sorry to hear that.
And, sorry, because I know you probably don't want to think about it much - although it sounds like you're doing little else - but when you say a 'problem with infidelity', do you mean you, or him, or both of you? I'm sort of assuming you, from the result?
a cravat is easier than a tie!
Not if you've never tied a cravat and have tied a tie...
It's me.
And yeah I can't really think about anything else.
Well, it's almost a half windsor, with an extra loop and no end-tuck, unless you want to shun tradition and go for a ruche, in which case it's pretty much a half windsor, but much looser.
column of love question.
do you think homosexual sex is easier than hetrosexual sex because both partners at least have some clue how the other partner feels and what might be feel good for them?
Jaws - that's really tough. I'm assuming from you describing the relationship as 'honest' that he knows about all the times? And that you don't have some sort of mutual agreement in place for 'seeing' other partners?
I mean, it does sound like he's not okay with it - but what you can do about that, if he doesn't want to talk, is a bit difficult to say.
I'm not entirely sure I'm the best person to ask. I've always been...well, probably ridiculously faithful. I mean, given that I've known past partners have been with other people and I've just sort of hoped that if I ignored the problem it would somehow resolve.
I think, once he's ready to talk, you just need to be honest about things with him - and yourself - if you think it will happen again, don't promise it won't, that sort of thing. And then it's got to be between the two of you if you both want to keep going with the relationship or not.
I hope he's ready to communicate soon. Waiting is so hard.
Anon - John would probably be better at answering this! He has, as it were, played for both teams ;)
I suppose I'd probably say no, because what feels good just isn't as simple as having one set of plumbing or the other.
For instance, I could lick John's nipples all day (I really could....) and he'd end up with wet nipples and a wry grin. He can lick..suck..bite ;) mine for 30 seconds and I'll be a writhing heap promising him the moon on a stick...
And it's the same with everything else - genitals to the most random erogenous zones - there's no saying what will feel good to someone and not someone else.
(Anyone else love having the web of skin between their fingers squeezed...because I really have always thought that was slightly weird.)
Of course, knowing the general anatomy of your partner does help a lot!
He knows about the other times and wouldn't be okay for me to see anyone else, which is fair.
I think it probably will happen again, not because I'm not committed to him, but because of my past actions. I don't like being this person.
And I don't think he can accept if I do it again, but we both really want to keep the relationship going.
That's the thing, he's clearly not okay with it, but won't say anything. It's killing me.
Yeah, agreed. It's much more about the person you're with than the basic equipment.
not that your equipment is basic, JohnnyBoy ;)
Jaws - then, and I know this doesn't help, I think you're just left waiting for him to be ready.
Sorry, I know that must be really hard.
is it possible to have a first time that isn't terrible?
Anon - Yes, I'm sure it's possible! I think you just need to be comfortable with yourself, with each other, and with the fact that sex is a funny old business, and it may not go perfectly, or, at the first (few) time of asking, may not go at all.
Not sure how to phrase this, so please forgive me if this sounds totally daft.
I was in a relationship several years ago that was pretty bad. Ever since I got out I've found it really hard to trust someone again. I want to be in a relationship, but letting the other person get close to me is hard. Any tips?
Anon - doesn't sound daft at all. And I'll think about it. SOrry, just fell asleep on the sofa, I've got to try and get some proper sleep or I'll be one of Sherlock's beloved zombies in the morning.
Thanks for the advice Greg, I'll just keep baking cakes and sticking with it.
And first time anon, mine was actually pretty great, guess I just got lucky!
Jaws,
you might offer to stop drinking. Or to limit it to when you're with him. If he sees the change in the one behavior, he'll probably believe you mean to change the other.
is it okay to say yes to make the other person happy, even if you'd just as soon not?
How can you bring up to someone who is pretty much congenitally repressed, that you'd like them to initiate or take the lead once in a while?
Anon - Sounds good to me. I mean, the whole equality bit, not just the gay bit. I never quite understand why people fight for any certain part of equality...just fight for all of it!
I can't speak for Anon, but that's exactly what I liked about that part of the speech--that Obama correctly identified all these movements as part of the same drive for equal human rights.
Lestrade, remind me again why it's Greg the Florist and not Greg the Tailor?
(and I am with you on the odd hours of the morning thing...)
DW - floristry sounds more relaxing? I do like clothes, though.
You lot have been busy overnight! And I'm busy now, I shall answer some when I get a mug of coffee and a spare moment.
better day today Greg? I hope it a little less stressful than yesterday even if only a lttle bit :-)
What's your advice, DI lestallion, to someone who fancies a fellow officer of the same rank but he's on about getting married all the time.
DI Dimmock
Its snowing big flakes but it isn't landing
if you've been seeing a person exclusively for a long while but still don't want to, does that mean you aren't really in love with them?
really Sherlock? more snow, that's brilliant :-)
Sherlock--if my Weather Channel app is right, it's a little above freezing in London so it's probably all melting as it lands. It might start sticking if it gets heavy enough--but big flakes are pretty to watch falling, even if they don't accumulate. Or maybe it will get colder!
(It's -9.5C/15F in NYC--TOO cold!--but very sunny so no snow.)
Dimmo, why didn't you say anything in that two hour meeting we've just spent together? My advice would be to run into his office, throw yourself into his arms and give him a big kiss.
Or track down whichever officer thinks s/he's a comedian...
Sherlock, it is pretty to look at though, right? Maybe it'll keep snowing tonight and settle (making the roads lethal).
Dimmock if you have him I can have the nanny so do it
Sergeant Sally
Hows the afternoon going Greg? meetings and paperwork or something more interesting?
Is the snow sticking yet Sherlock? Everything has melted around here so everywhere is just wet and brown :-(
I hope you've had a good day John.
The spam filter obviously thinks I'm too nosy ;-)
Aww, I thought police officers were supposed to be observant... but anyone here can tell you that's not how Sally signs her blog comments - and she uses punctuation :-p
Having a "fun" day, Lestrade?
Sherlock - I'm glad you've got more snow, even if it's not settling. It was snowing again here last night and this morning, but almost all of it's melted now :-(
Anonybob - good lord, what did you ask?
LOL - the captcha on my previous comment was "notpol" :-D
Sorry, yeah I'm fine. To answer your spam filter questions no one else can see ... Snow didn't settle. Case is going as we'll as it could. I'm surrounded by people who missed their calling to the stand up circuit... The usual.
Nameless - well, you know how you lot were talking about if anyone could shock me? All I can say is that her questions made me blush. And squirm. And blush again. She's a right minx ;)
(Sorry AnonyBob, had to let them know your true colours ;) )
*giggling*
I'm impressed, Anonybob :-)
Lestrade - blushing and squirming in the office? Whatever will your colleagues say? ;-p
I swear it was only blog advice I was after Greg I’m sorry if you misinterpreted my question, I meant turning text red nothing else ;-)
Well, Anony, to answer then:
No, should never go that colour! Yes, you'd be amazed what can happen when you relax.
With practice, it'll be fine. Stretching daily will help.
And I'll have to look the rest up at home ;)
Thank you Greg that is very useful information ;-)
I hope you escape work soon and that you have a good evening :-)
My day has consisted of working out all the complicated threads of a murder-suicide. It's been horrible.
Whoever it was making those silly comments actually brightened my day - as did you lot.
(And AnonyBob, no, my personal belief is that that should *never* go in there.)
And now I'm pretty much ready to go home. And hope John and Sherlock have had better days. Although I think Danger might have seen Dr E, so...perhaps not.
I'm sorry you had a rough day, L. And I hope all of you have a good, warm-feelings evening.
sorry the days been hard Greg but I'm glad you found something to make you smile :-)
(Really?? ooops)
I hope your boys are ok when you get home :-)
The snow didn't say and Lestrade isn't home yet and I want jelly and John says we haven't got any.
I'm sorry you're having a not-so-good evening, Sherlock. Maybe cuddles all around will help a bit?
Jelly would help but I texted Lestrade and he didn't answer so he might not have got it in time but I hope he did.
I hope he saw it, too. It's not fun, feeling a bit not right-ish.
Sorry kiddo, no jelly.
(no jelly 'isn't fair', I'd like you all to know. Because I sure know it now.)
(Oh, dear. Is John feeling a bit blue, too?)
not fair but totally reasonable I would say.
Smile Sherlock its better for you than jelly :-)
Who's been voting for me to wear a cravat?
I want a cravat why isn't there a vote for me having a cravat?
(I'd offer virtual hugs all around, but I'm sure real life cuddles from each other would be preferred.)
I'm sure it wasn't me, John!
What kind of cravat do you have in mind, Sherlock? There seem to be a great many styles, from what I can see on the interwebs.
I don't know Lestrade showed me a picture of one I don't know how many styles there are but if I had a cravat that could be purple if I couldn't have a whole purple shirt.
A purple cravat could be very nice, or a purple tie. Or maybe you could have a purple pocket square (I think that's what they're called).
A tie IS a cravat!
Sherlock! Be polite.
Technically quite correct. But since Lestrade was using the two terms to mean different things last night, I thought you were, too. I shouldn't have assumed.
YOU SAID cravat really meant all ties and then there were some ties that didn't have another name so we still call them cravats even though ties and bow ties and everything ARE cravats.
what's wrong Sherlock? you don't sound yourself tonight. I hope you're ok.
And if you want to explain that to everyone you can do it POLITELY.
If you can't be polite tonight you'll be off the internet until you've remembered how.
NonyBob - think it's acombo of being excitied about Mycroft coming home, the lack of snow, the lack of jelly and he just seems very hyperactive.
I hope he settles down soon, I don't like it when he seems not himself but there are lots of reasons for him to be feeling excited and fed up so its not surprising really.
good luck with him :-)
He does sound a bit...not himself.
Is Mycroft coming home this weekend already? That would be lovely. :)
(I wasn't insulted personally. A bit concerned, more.)
you know how it is, he's at his most energetic when you've got the least fuel left in the tank to deal with it. He's in a mood with me because I didn't let him clamber all over me when I got in. Or bring jelly, obviously.
Well...I hope the evening improves substantially for all of you from here on in.
why is it that the less energy they should have the more they have? It doesn't make sense and its quite unfair on them I always feel.
being little isn't easy is it?
he's now settled with my new phone and watching David Attenborough.
That sounds better.
And I hope you are settled with your Doc. :)
be careful Greg he'll be using your new phone to answer some of them there questions ;-)
I'm glad he's relaxed and feeling a bit better.
...was better. Now he's being a Springbok and pronking all over the sitting room.
I need a docu on sloths....
bed time soon, just hang on to the fact that it'll be bed time soon ;-)
I voted for both of you to wear cravats, what can I tell you? I like formal wear (on other people obviously, not on me)
Lancs. Anon
People who've asked questions - I'll answer them, promise, but it'll probably be in a post tomorrow now. Need to spend a bit of time with John. I hope you understand.
Course we do, sleep well when you get to it, gentlemen
no problem at all!
Have a good rest of the evening, gents.
See, that's why we ask you questions. Because you have your relationship priorities straight.
Some would say my relationship priorities are far from straight ;)
thanks, all of you.
Night.
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