At the beginning?
There was pre-breakfast swimming, as we knew Mrs H would be here at some point, and we might not get to swim later. Mycroft stayed out and supervised the Little Shermaid while John and I sorted out fruit and stuff for breakfast.
Mrs H arrived before the boys were even dry, and ate a bit with us. Then we gathered essentials for the day. Then removed 90% of what Sherlock considered 'essential' from his bag. Then left.
It was a bit of a magical mystery tour... I don't think I give our position away too much by saying the first stop was Gibraltar! I'd never been, but obviously seen lots of pictures... But Mrs H is a brave woman, exposing those monkeys to Sherlock ;) Doesn't she know if all the monkeys leave the rock then Gibraltar will no longer be under British rule??
Anyway... what happened next....
Sherlock was eating some melon we'd bought (the fact that anything other than ice cream passes his lips is nothing short of a minor miracle, some days.) and he, for some reason, decided to try to tempt a macaque with some... well, macaques are fast. And it's illegal to feed them.
It was looking a little wary, at first, but I think he threw a bit toward it, so it came closer. Then, somehow emboldened by its first taste of melon, or something, it went for the jackpot. Which Sherlock obviously wasn't happy about - he doesn't like sharing his food. So he tried to protect his melon, the macaque missed, but with the sudden movement, a bit of melon flew off and through the railings we were by and down onto the road below. Or...it would have been the road below, if a woman hadn't been walking underneath with a parasol.
So this poor woman suddenly has macaques raining down upon her, so she runs and leaps onto her tour bus (or I think it was hers), and a policewoman nearby sees her being pursued by monkeys and comes to investigate.
By this time the monkeys are also on the tour bus, and some of them can't find the way off - the woman's still screaming, the melon's God-knows-where, but now the monkeys are ripping the coach to shreds because people have left their bags, presumably with food in, on there....
Somewhere in the mix the guy who sold us the watermelon tells the policewoman what he's seen (Sherlock luring a macaque with melon, and we're implicated in the Marauding Macaques vs. Terrified Tourists...)
Anyway, Mrs H explains to the policewoman, whilst I stand by and...um...look like I feel sorry for her, ready to show my badge if it'll help smooth anything over. Some locals manage to remove the monkeys from the bus. Mycroft shows his linguistic flair and apologises to the tourists in...German, I think? And John makes Sherlock apologise to everyone involved whilst telling him we know he didn't mean to, but it's still polite to apologise...
And at that point, we made good our escape, and fled to Africa on the ferry!
Which is a story I shall leave to John.
This picture sums up our day rather well, I feel:
Kids, eh? Who'd have 'em...
Although I might see if I can transfer to Gibraltar... they've got a homicide dept. And I don't think there'd be many dull days...
53 comments:
It seems even more unreal written down...
I'm trying to tell myself that with all those tourists, and all those monkeys, things like this happen ALL the time.
Right?
...No comment.
They got a good story out of it though. Which I'm sure they'll come to appreciate...at some point in the future.
Yeah. Quite.
The Day We Rocked The Rock... The Rock's Been Sherlock'd? Melon Hell as Macaques Attack? Mycroft's Tact in Face of Barbary Army?
...I could lend them any of those titles for their tale.
Monkeying around with melons?
...No, that just sounds wrong.
Yeah, monkeying around is done with nuts around here, surely ;)
It's the way you tell this as if there was a sort of inevitability to it all.
And yes, I do recognise where today's title comes from!
SH - I think there was, yeah. Sherlock and loads of monkeys...it was never going to be completely free of incident.
I'm actually rather glad it involved the monkeys moving toward other people... I did have visions of us getting home tonight to find a monkey in his bag or something.
I mean, I feel sorry for Parasol-Woman, because...well, raining macaques (hallelujah), but it could have been so much worse.
At least she had a parasol. Better macaques on your parasol than on your head.
But that doesn't mean her eyes will soon be turning red?
Lancs. Anon
Macaques not for her, Lancs. Anon? Never stopped macaques by complaining...
Because she's free?
Lancs. Anon
Yeah, nothing's worrying her.
I'm still giggling over the post title!
It so happens that the Gibraltar macaques--or Barbary apes--are featured in an important scene in a Gideon Oliver novel I just reread recently (Uneasy Relations by Aaron Elkins), where they are depicted as very aggressive about food, which the tourists feed them despite signs saying not to. No tour buses appeared in that book, however, so I think your real-life adventure beat the fictional one! :)
(The Gibraltar police department also plays a big role in the novel--you should read it as research before you decide to transfer, L!)
I can now do my best Sherlock impression and inform you that they're not apes. They're barbary - or 'common' - macaques. And people who say they're apes are wrong.
(Well, okay, my Sherlock impression contained fewer caps-locked bits and insults, but he was like a little walking encyclopedia today, having read all the signs (but conveniently missing the ones that said 'don't feed'.) so we're now 'experts' on the subject!)
They didn't seem too aggressive - just very eager. But then they are well fed, so maybe we just got off lightly.
Heh. Yes, I know they are monkeys rather than apes, but that is their common name, however misleading! To quote from my (fictional, I know) source:
"The uninformed--for example, those with mere master's degrees in physical anthropology--may call them apes, and it's true that they're big for monkeys, they lack tails, they look a bit like baboons, and they have a baboon-like gait, but in fact they are monkeys, macaques, Macaca sylvanus, and they are among the nastier, crabbier, least amenable of their kind."
(So you can stand down, Sherlock!)
He'd probably come back with something quoting back "the uninformed" and complaining about people spreading misinformation. But I wouldn't be able to give it as much flair as he would, so I won't bother.
Well, it's not really misinformation, just misleading. But I certainly don't insist on it. Macaques they are!
(And these captchas HATE me. I have to fill them in 3 or 4 times EVERY SINGLE TIME!)
I'm not sure what's funnier, the image of raining macaques, or the fact that "at that point, we made good our escape, and fled to Africa on the ferry!" (as one does).
I hope the visit to Africa was fun (I'm guessing you didn't manage to see any elephants or hippos if it was a day trip from Gibraltar), and that you're all tucked away somewhere suitably peaceful now.
To A Policeman's Lot...
"When a Sherlock is enjoying big melon (a big melon)
And he finds himself left only with the rinds (with the rinds)
A not-ape will perform like quite a hellion (quite a helion)
And will put a poor Rock's cop in quite a bind (quite a bind)
The monkeys, they will jump a woman's 'sol (woman's sol)
And will board a tourist bus without a care (out a care)
Oh, may God in heaven look upon us all ('pon us all)
And may Mycroft's silver tongue be standing there.
Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, may God in heaven look upon us all ('pon us all)
And may Mycroft's silver tongue be standing there."
Mycroft, are you far enough South to see the Megallenic Clouds? If so, I'm very jealous!
Lancs. Anon
OMG, DW, that's brilliant! :D
(I don't know why Sherlock would be against that quote, it's agreeing with him!) (Yes, I've got a really slow reaction time tonight, I'm wrestling with a page layout program I use maybe twice a year which means I have to look up how to do EVERYTHING. Aaaaarrrrgggghhhh!)
Brilliant, DW, as always!
Aha I knew it! From the instant you said Africa for the day, maybe I'm picking up a thing or two from the good DI :)
And that's brills DW!
DW - you're a genius!
Hope you have a great day, guys, with perhaps a little less excitement than yesterday.
The quote is okay but you said they were barbary apes and they're not and then you said you knew they weren't so by calling them it when you knew they weren't then you might make other people call them that and then you're just all wrong but if you call them macaques and then everyone who calls them apes you tell them they're macaques then in the end everyone will stop being wrong.
Ape in Italian means bee Lestrade said that's even more confusing.
Brilliant DW :-)
That's a good explanation Sherlock.
I hope you all have a fun but less 'interesting' day ;-)
Ah, I see what you're saying, Sherlock. It's always a question whether it's better to be more precise and accurate, so as to set a good example, or to be more comprehensive, so more people know what you're talking about.
(If I hadn't been pecking away at this horrid virtual keyboard, I might have been both by saying something like "also commonly, albeit inaccurately, known as Barbary apes," but I was so I didn't. Also, sometimes people think it's a bit odd when I use words like "albeit" even though it's a perfectly good word and I pronounce it correctly and all.)
It does make sense that "ape" is Italian for bee, because "Apis" is Latin for bee. (It's part of the scientific name for bee varieties--the genus, I think, but I'm not perfectly sure, and if I look it up I'll lose all this pecking!)
Did you see any animals during the Africa part of your day?
(I checked--bees are of the family Apidae, and honey bees are of the genus Apis. And I have no idea why any of that stuck in my head in the first place!)
I know that bees are my favourite but it's still confusing and we should agree not to use the same word for different things it would be better. And Lestrade's whole post was about macaques nearly so no one would have not known but some people might have thought you were right calling them apes and not know any better so I think that's more confusing.
Lestrade and I beat Mycroft and John at sort of water volleyball but Mummy said it was a draw because Lestrade cheated and she was referee.
how di dhe cheat, sherlock?
That's the scientific mind you have there, Sherlock, that puts a high value on precision and avoiding confusion. And avoiding confusion is certainly a good thing, especially in science and technology, and people in those fields do agree, for the most part, to follow a set standard worldwide. (With the occasional oddity like aluminum/aluminium!) But who would decide which language gets to name things for regular speech?
(And you're absolutely right that everyone who read Lestrade's post would know he was talking about macaques, no question there. But people who know those monkeys by the name Barbary apes wouldn't have known that that was what he was talking about. At least now they know they're the same thing--and they definitely know by now that they're not really apes!)
Water volleyball sounds like tremendous fun! And if course, the referee has the last word. (So in a way you could say everyone won... :D)
...Of course, not If. *sigh*
What I don't understand is how Lestrade thought he would get away with cheating with Mrs Holmes as referee.
DW he threw me up in the air to get a high ball and lifted me up too and then when he was serving he kept shouting 'look!' or 'shark!' to make them look away and then he'd serve and win, and he swum underwater when I served and bit John again. But no one said you couldn't do those things when we started so it wasn't really cheating.
Ha! I think the shouting "look" or "shark" before serving might count as outside the rules at least--but it sounds like the most fun game of water volleyball ever, making winning irrelevant!
SH - I like a challenge.
Biting your opponents is always against the rules!
It was a love bite! :)
Sounds like brilliant tactics to me. Not Lestrade's fault Doc is too much of a soldier to think three-dimensionally.
It was a love bite! :)
In the ankle??
I love all of you equally.
That's very fair minded of you. Although startling at the time.
(Nice save, L!)
BTW--The cheese I took out for breakfast this morning was moldy at one end, but thanks to you lot I knew it was safe to cut off the moldy bit and eat the rest, so I did. Thanks! :)
(Note: If I come down with food poisoning, we'll have to reevaluate that little tip... :D)
I warned you there were sharks, you should have been alert for being bitten!
Mrs H is asleep in the hammock... I would offer her a mojito, but fear if I approach a sleeping Mrs H either her trained ninjas will kill me before I reach her, or she'll kill me when I wake her.
Either I send Sherlock in, or I wuss out and make her a fresh batch later...
Let her sleep, I think. I doubt she gets enough normally.
I'm sure she doesn't. And has passed on her no-sleep genes to the boys.
Don't worry, I'll drink hers. Can't have it going to waste.
Just don't mix up yours and Sherlock's, or you'll be disappointed and he'll be pissed.
I'm having serious difficulty picturing what that would be like.
...
Nope, can't imagine it either!
It's very wrong of me to sort of want you to try it and find out, isn't it?
(Ad not just because Mrs H would rain down her wrath upon us all?)
...
Thought so.
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