Well... I thought today would be calm, we didn't have a lot planned.
I had a word with Sherlock this morning, before John was up, about today being Armistice Day. He's already done a bit at school, and they'd got poppies - and drawn pictures of them - and even looked at a little bit of war poetry. So he was already ahead of the game, really. So then I said about the eleventh hour, and he agreed he'd be quiet.
He took that very seriously, as it turned out, and turned on the radio so we could 'hear the silence', and shushed us all in plenty of time so we wouldn't miss it. And he stayed still and quiet the whole time, which I was very impressed about, because two minutes is a long time.
I didn't know if John would want to do anything...be alone, or go to the cenotaph, but we just stayed in. So I gave him a hug for the two minutes.
It took us a while to realise he'd also unplugged the phone - and the internet - to ensure we had silence. Security came up to ask if everything was all right and check we weren't all hostages!
Anyway, then Sherlock disgraced himself a bit later by having made himself a sheet of ice to form a dagger with and try and stab me - me being the available test subject. Nothing personal...
I thought he'd hurt himself at first, but he'd just got a really cold hand, creeping up on me, and then when his ice dagger didn't actually stab me, but slid through his hand, I think it hurt. Anyway, he's banned from the internet now, and got a good telling off. He's a bit sulky.
So, anyway, as Sherlock is temporarily off the blogs I thought we might try another
Lestrade's Upstanding Column Of Love...
So, ask away. Anon posting is welcome, as usual. Have at it, commenters of the world....
*Please note, all replies may be utter bollocks.
44 comments:
Feathers? Or the whole chicken?
um...you, or me? I mean, is that a question about me, and my preferences, or are you enquiring as to the calibre of question I'll answer?
If the latter...as long as I have time to form a 7 yr old friendly response before Sherlock asks, it's fine. Probably. I reserve the right to delete if I think I'd get in so much trouble with his mum that you'd never hear from me again...
Lestrade, I have a bit of a tricky one. There's someone I've known for a long time (13 years) and, for one reason or another, the timing or location has never worked out for us to be in a relationship, even though we've both been interested at various times. Now, they live 6,000 miles away and will for at least the next three years, but things might align to work out for us after that if I'm patient. On the other hand, it might not, depending on our jobs. The question is, do I wait for something that might turn out never to happen, or to be bad that I really want or do I try to build something more definite with what I've got available now?
The latter is safer. But if that has no easy answer, then what might make a partner laugh in a good way.
Sergeant Pepper - I think that's hard to answer without knowing more about you - but don't say anything you don't want to. I mean, in three years, where do you think your life will be? If you wait, and it doesn't work out for any reason, will you feel like there are chances you've potentially missed? Or will you just feel like it was worth the chance, and now you know it hasn't worked, you can look elsewhere? And how good is what you have available now? Will you always be wondering 'what if?' - in which case, will that trouble you?
And is there a way you can broach the subject soon, with the person? Get an idea of what they feel? Would they want you to wait? Are they even sure they'll be back in three years, or could it turn into 6?
Very hard decision to make, I'm sure.
Anon - Erm...that is quite hard to answer! More than feathers...less than the whole chicken? A nice thigh, and the wishbone? :)
As for the laughing, I feel like I should know...I mean, I play the fool a lot. I make bedsnails because I want John to laugh. I dick about, sing to him, try to make him dance, I am, in his words, 'ridiculous'. Because I don't mind messing around and making myself look silly if it'll make him laugh.
I think you just have to take serious things seriously, and the rest of the time have as much fun as you can. They say you only live once...but I feel like i've got a second chance, and I'm not going to spend it being embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
Does John make you laugh too?
He does, yeah. he's less liable to make a complete tit of himself, but he's got a dry sense of humour, and he lets me mess about and laughs with me...I don't know...yeah, he's brilliant. Has rolling his eyes and sighing down to a fine - and very amusing - art.
Any suggestions for someone who doesn't drink and isn't religious on where to meet a potential date, etc?
I'm not going to spend it being embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
"I have been a fool for lesser things?"
When the whole dating thing seems more trouble than its worth, does it make more sense to take a break or force yourself to keep trying?
Well... I met Bry outside a gig, having a smoke (I was going to write 'fag' and then worried some American readers would get entirely the wrong idea!)..
...I met John on a moor trying to catch a murderer...
I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask! i suppose...any other interests? Sports clubs? Other clubs? ...Drawing? Yoga? I think it helps to have some common interests, so something like that? (John and my common interest is dead bodies, I think.)
There's always dating websites - I know two couples who've met via the internet, but I think it's more popular in cities, maybe.
I'm not sure, sorry... I hope that helped a little.
John and my common interest is dead bodies, I think.
Well, they are interesting...
second Anon - yeah, something like that.
Third Anon - Do you mean dating a specific person, or dating in general?
Danger - they are, yes. Although perhaps not as romantic as ...flower arranging. Speaking of, you've left those poor boys in that spooky castle for a long time, you know...
True. Tomorrow maybe. Today's post is proving difficult.
Anything I can help with?
Third Anon - Do you mean dating a specific person, or dating in general?
Dating in general. I really don't want to deal with dating at all any more, but I suppose I haven't quite made up my mind to spend the rest of my life alone.
Ah, well... you know, you won't face a forfeit if you decide to take a bit of a break and then start up again - or, indeed, if you take a break and something just happens unexpectedly. If it feels like a chore, then I'd stop. Or at least, stop the dating part being the be-all-and-end-all. Sort of goes back to the earlier comment - maybe try and find a class or hobby or sport, and you never know, you may meet someone incidentally.
I can assure you, I was firmly not-dating when a certain gorgeous doctor swept me off my feet (and into a waiting helicopter). Sometimes these things happen when we least expect.
But I can't imagine you'll be at your best if it's feeling like a chore, and I'm all for doing things for enjoyment, not some odd sense of it being the socially-'normal' thing.
I hope that helps...
L - you help just by being here. But nothing specific, no. It's all right.
When people say something is romantic, they usually mean flowers and hearts and stuff like that. What do you find romantic that isn't on the usual list?
Romantic...John worrying about me not feeding myself on night is romantic, and putting nuts in my bag :) Or meeting me for lunch, because he knows I'm having a hard day.
Or just...lazing on the sofa, wrapped up in each other, after Sherlock's gone to bed and relative peace has fallen in the flat.
I think the most romantic thing is that I know from every action of his, that he cares for me, fiercely, and...I've never really had that before. I find it deeply touching, the energy he puts into caring about me.
One-night stands - soul-destroying, or harmless?
I think as long as both parties know it's a one night stand, then harmless. If, however, one is under the impression there could be more...pretty soul destroying, potentially.
You certainly have to be in the right place, mentally, to do it. I have been in that place before. But not for a long time now.
I must drag my good Doctor to bed now...see how he feels about chickens ;)
But leave questions, I will try to answer them during tomorrow.
(and feel free to leave more general questions for future posts, too. Feels like it may be a long month!)
Do you have any advice on how to mentally physically and emotionally prepare for a new relationship having left one that was far from good?
I hope some sleep was had by all and that Monday provides a reasonable start to a good week :-)
RSF - re poppies, the Royal British Legion starts their poppy campaign in late October, although it starts becoming common to see people wearing them from early November, and particularly in the week leading up to Armistice Day.
Originally, the official ceremonies and silence were held on the 11th November every year, but after WWII, it got moved to the nearest Sunday, to prevent disruption to the working day. In the last five or ten years, the RBS and others having been pushing to have the silence on Armistice Day again. So now, although the official ceremonies are held on the nearest Sunday, it's increasing common for shops, offices, workplaces, TV stations, etc to hold a two minutes silence on the day itself as well.
... aaaaand that comment should have gone on the previous blog post. Ah well.
Anon - I shall think about that a bit before answering it.
AnonyBob - off and on, as usual with the sleep. I think today might be a rather good start to the week, though ;)
Nameless - still informative, whatever post it's on.
Rather good sounds really rather good :-)
I am beginning to think that a full nights sleep is a mythical thing that we are all conditioned to expect but no one ever achieves ;-)
It is! Total myth.
And I really hope rather good is very good...
I can't find it at the moment (tiny iPod print + migraine hangover = feeble search attempts) but I'm sure I've read that this idea of sleeping straight through the night is a modern invention--people used to sleep a while, wake up and have a chat with whomever else was awake, and then go back to sleep after a while. (I just skip the going back to sleep part, myself. :))
I hope "rather good" turns out to be excellent! (And that you can eventually tell us about it. :))
L - Are you planning something? It's not like you to be this cheerful at work...
Me? You should know better. I'm useless at planning anything.
Just a rainy monday, in November...is there a better way to start the week?
I thought it was rainy nights we were meant to live? ;)
(LOve, not live. Totally stepped on that joke...)
Whatever is going to make it very good Greg I hope it comes soon :-)
Have a nice afternoon John :-)
Here's a question--do you think it's ok to keep secrets, not little secrets but big things, from someone your having a serious relationship with?
I've just managed to look at your blog at exactly half a million hits (though I notice that in the time it's taken to click on comment its up to 500002!). Congratulations!
I think I'll slightly de-anon in celebration
(The poster formerly known as Lancs. Anon)
...you lot are... amazing. Half a million...
Im stunned.
Thank you all, for reading and contributing.
who'd have thought it!
That is really impressive Greg, you really do give us a lot to read and comment on :-)
WOO HOO!! 500,000! (And 32. :)
*flings confetti at L*
Anon who asked about preparing for a new relationship after leaving a bad one - I've done a terrible job of trying to answer in my new post. Sorry it's not more...well, helpful.
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