I'm back home, which I'm very glad about. John's been amazing, researching the local healthcare options for Mum, once she's released. Taking care of Sherlock, and answering a million questions. Keeping Mycroft up to date.
My blood relatives...well, Nicky's always been the most reliable person in our family. She's always been the peacemaker, the negotiator, the one who strikes deals and works out the fights so no-one's pride is too bruised. Rachel's always been the quiet one. Watching the rest of us and only saying her piece when pushed - or allowed to get a word in edgeways.
Danny. Danny's pretty much always wanted the exact opposite of whatever I say. And I don't know if that's because of him or because of me. I didn't get on with his Dad, I've never really got along with him. And Sam, his little brother (who is the spitting image of his Dad, and who I haven't seen since...well, it's been over ten years, anyway. So that was a surprise.) who goes along with whatever Danny tells him to do.
And me.
And today we all fell perfectly back into our old roles within a few minutes of meeting up. Like we haven't learnt anything growing up.
So I start by saying Mum's going to need help with getting sober and staying that way, and getting better from all this, and it just descends into an argument about who's ever nearby to help and who's always trying to run other people's lives and christ knows how but ends up with Danny equating me marrying John to Mum and all her marriages, as if that's got any relevance to anything.
At which point I walk out, which is what I always used to do, too. Bloody brilliant.
Anyway, what matters is that Mum's in the best place to take care of her and get her on the road to recovery, and Nicky knows that she can agree to whatever they say is best for Mum and the money doesn't matter - because living with John my outgoings are very small, so I can cover all that without anyone else having to worry about their own families struggling.
And now we just wait and see what happens as she sobers up and starts therapy.
26 comments:
walking out is better than getting angry Greg.
I am so so sorry you're having to deal with this as well as your mum.
I know there is nothing that can be done through the internet but if I could do something I would :-)
You are - you all are. Just being able to write it all down...it does help.
I meant to say thanks about saying about the clothes thing earlier. It's not the sort of thing I'd ever think about - spending money on new clothes just because I didn't have any with me - but it did make me feel a lot better. As did seeing Jess.
(And I walked out after I got angry - but I know what you mean.)
Walking out means choosing not to hurt anyone. I don't mean physically, which I know you'd never do--I mean that I only wish I had that kind of self-control when I'm hurt and angry. I'm afraid I yell back too often still. So I really admire that.
I am glad that your mother is doing well under the circumstances, and that the rest of it--her care and all--are under control, as much as it can be.
And we're always here if/when you want to vent or be distracted.
*Also, very apt title.
I'm glad the clothes made you feel better and I can imagine Jess works wonders, I can't wait for my frinds baby to be born just to have baby cuddles again :-)
Its good to know we're helping in some way :-)
Has Sherlock gone to bed or is he somehow attached to you?
Trying to detach him, with John's help...he's adamant he's not tired. He may not be, but I am.
RR - I can't say I'd never physically hurt someone. i have in the past. But I've long learnt there's no point shouting and screaming at each other. It's not a good way to change anyone's mind. It always led to physical fighting when we were kids.
could you not all go together, curl up and sleep until bee tales in the morning? ;-)
I hope he goes soon and gives you and John some time together.
It's not a good way to change anyone's mind.
Entirely true. (It can be hard to put on the brakes when buttons are pressed, though, even when you know better. So, as I say, I admire that.)
Moderate success achieve in Sherlock detachment.
that sounds like its been a fun job John ;-)
feel free to replace him with yourself. I'm entirely happy to be attached to you.
remind me to shave in the morning. I look like a tramp and don't have energy now.
Will do. Time for bed?
Yeah. I think so.
Seriously, thank you for everything - for offering to come to the Westcountry, for talking to Sherlock, for listening to me rant on the phone...just everything. It means so much to me.
And sorry for probably ruining all your thinking time after seeing Dr E.
I commented on the other one, but will say again that I'm glad you are home safely and surrounded by people who love you.
L - you didn't ruin anything, love. And I wish I could've done more.
wishing you good sleep gents :-)
You were brilliant. Hush. Now let me take you to bed, scratch you with my stubble and put my cold feet on you. Then you'll wish I'd stayed at Nicky's ;)
Kestrel - thanks.
Have a good night, gentlemen. :)
Sounds good to me.
I expect you'll have to make a few more sojourns down to see how things are going, so you'll get lots more chances to see Jess. So that's something at least. And if you can bring Sherlock and Mycroft and John, I'm sure they'll find some way to keep busy when you need to be dealing with other things. Might make the travel time easier. More interesting, anyway.
I hope you sleep well tonight, all of you. (You too, Nicky! It's hard work being the peacemaker!) Good night.
rsf
Might make the travel time easier. More interesting, anyway.
Yellow car!
RSF - yeah, I'm sure I'll have to go back and forth a bit. But the time on the bike is good to think about things and calm down. Don't get that in a car full of people.
Happy thanksgiving to all who celebrate it over the pond.
L (and all of you) - hoping today goes well and that work is sufficient to stop you dwelling on family matters you can currently do nothing about, but not too horrendous.
I thought of you yesterday when I saw that the front cover of Motorcycle Monthly was Triumph's new Street Triple!
SH - the new Street Triple does sound impressive. And being taller, John wouldn't be able to pinch it (because he knows it's the better bike...). I'd definitely get the new one if mine got written off or nicked.
Work is busy, yeah. Catching uo after walking out two days ago!
*nod* I don't calm down on long solo drives, I fret and stew if I have anything to fret and stew over. But I can calm down on a long walk, so I understand the sentiment. Motorbikes are closer to nature, right? (Maybe a bit too close when it's pouring rain.)
I hope you get more good news than bad news today.
rsf
I know it's a bit late, so apologies if I'm pulling you back to something you don't want to talk about but... families can be absolutely shit, can't they? I see other people interacting with their siblings like they're all adults, and I think, "how do you even do that?". My brothers and I all left home relatively young, so we never got know each other properly as adults. We all revert to being kids again, and it sucks, because that makes me the stupid kid sister who's the target of the "bullying", rather than the middle aged woman with a life and a career and her shit together, thanks.
We were very lucky, I think, not to have the kind of explosive meeting when my Dad was ill that you guys did yesterday.
I hope you're Mum gets through the worst of the withdrawal soon, and get on with the business of recovering properly.
Nameless - no, not pulling me back at all. It's good to talk about it!
I think I'm in a similar situation, with regard to leaving before we ever knew each other as adults - Rach had only just started school by the time I left. Danny and Sam were still kids. I was a kid myself, really.
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