25 August 2012

I think I'm a banana tree, oh dear

The other day I was shocked to hear about the shootings outside the Empire State Building. It sounded like another person had gone on a crazed rampage with a gun, shooting innocent people.

I heard the new today that the gunman was waiting for his victim, stepped out and shot him. That's horrific, clearly, but it was also - like almost all murders - targeted, not just a random incident.

And then the two police officers who happened to be close by opened fire and shot a further nine people.



Now, I'm in no position to say their actions weren't the correct ones - they were being confronted by an armed man, who, for all they knew, would try to shoot them next. Neither of them had ever fired their weapons on duty before. I'm sure both are deeply thankful that no one else was killed. I'm sure they're both devestated anyone was injured at all.

But I hope everyone in the UK who backs giving firearms to regular police officers takes a long hard look at cases like this and realises what it means. Very few people open fire on police officers in the UK because they know the police officers aren't armed, and therefore have limited powers to harm them. Most of them will not go on to kill anyone.


Right, so that was political and undoubtedly a complete downer of a blog entry. Here's something completely different.

Things I have so far unpacked from my bag:

20 books. Yes, 20. From John's medical books to cookery books.

Some eggs.

A large pot of talcum powder.

A box of custard powder.

Some cinnamon sticks.

Both the dogs' leads (I'm not asking.)

An electric toothbrush with no actual brushy bits.

A screwdriver.

An orange.

A pillowcase.

A box of ink cartridges.

A sponge.

A collection of plastic bags.

A frying pan.

A pack of strawberry jelly.

Apparently, the sponge, ink, plastic bags and jelly was for Sherlock to make a decoy jellyfish to attract either turtles or other jellyfish... he promises he wouldn't have let a turtle get near enough to eat it an get ill, he just wanted them to come closer.


And now I'm being alternately glared at and ignored because I laughed too hard at Mycroft's last comment on John's blog.

110 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

You are a genius, by the way, for sending him that link about the ships. First peace I've had all day.

Greg Lestrade said...

Tomorrow, when he's getting excitable about going on the plane, I shall show him the one for aeroplanes...although that one's more scary, because it makes Europe look like on huge air crash waiting to happen.

Greg Lestrade said...

one huge...etc.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure he'll love it.

Anonymous said...

There's one for airplanes? *perks up ears*

At least Sherlock is not throwing things into suitcases completely randomly. He has a plan! Still, the best way to get animals to come closer is to sit very very still and quiet, and that may be difficult with a sparkly helicopter overhead.

Heading out now, but I'll check in tomorrow to see what new plans have been hatched.

rsf

Sherlock said...

Mycroft's stupid and he should have a big stupid blimp following him with his stupid face to warn everyone he's coming so they can leave before he's boring at them.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock. Don't be so rude and calm down. Mycroft isn't stupid or boring.

SHERLOCK said...

HE STARTED IT!

Greg Lestrade said...

And I'm stopping it, and you're calming down. Come on, we'll go and pack your bag and check you've got the essentials and see if you need any more new things.

Anonymous said...

Do you know Sherlock I think I'd be a bit cross if my big brother was saying things about me that I didn't like and other people were finding them funny and laughing about me but you need to try and come up with a way of making people laugh with you if you want to say things about Mycroft or you will come across as cross and shouty and get told off.

Greg Lestrade said...

It is undoubtedly hard being the younger genius of the pair. Doubly so when your bedtime is the earliest in the house.

I predict we'll see more of Sherlock before we turn in ourselves... or we'll wake to discover he's re-written the laws of physics and has in fact fitted the entire flat into a suitcase.

pandabob said...

If anyone can do that it will be Sherlock!

He does know that holidays come more quickly if you sleep the time away doesn't he?

Anon Without A Name said...

Eggs? And a non-brushy toothbrush? That's certainly more imaginative than my packing ever gets. The most ridiculous thing I ever packed was a travel iron. I don't even do ironing when I'm at home, what made me think I'd do any when I was on holiday... I don't even.

I think it's tough wherever you fit in the family, oldest, youngest, middle kids... nothing ever feels quite fair.

REReader said...

One never knows what one might need on vacation, after all!

The best thing I ever brought on vacation isn't, yet!, on Sherlock's list--it was a wide-brimmed hat guaranteed to be a complete sunblock. I looked absolutely ridiculous in it--but that was the first vacation that I didn't get so much as a pink nose or neck, and that was despite bounding around a desert.

Greg Lestrade said...

Nameless - Yeah, you're right. Unfair in different ways.

I'm wondering how I pack all my essentials and then keep Sherlock from discovering them ;)

Desert Wanderer said...

I'm wondering how I pack all my essentials and then keep Sherlock from discovering them

Hollowed out shaving foam can?

Anon Without A Name said...

A washbag of "essentials" that you sneak into your suitcase at the last minutes and then lock; retrieve it while Sherlock's too busy unpacking his case or discovering the pool?

I assume you're not all travelling light enough to only take hand luggage? A mate of mine discovered that the, um, rabbit that she'd carefully packed in their checked-in luggage for a romantic get-away had been packed in their hand luggage by her husband for the return journey. She realised this when the security people were pointing and laughing when they scanned her bag...

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm going for the last-second packing option, I think.

And no, not just hand luggage, we've got way too much stuff. Although I can only imagine John will leave on of his coppers at home. And it won't be me ;)

Anonymous said...

Sherlock, I'm sorry. I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at the idea of a sparkly helicopter. (And then I wasn't on the computer till now, so I didn't realize that I'd made you grumpy.) It is hard being the younger one sometimes. I was in the middle, so I couldn't do the things my big sisters did and I got in trouble whenever I fought with my little brother because I was supposed to be the responsible one. Even if he started it.

I do think you'll have a good time seeing various creatures at the ocean. Be careful of the jellyfish, though. Some of them sting, and they can have really long, hard-to-see strands of stingers that go a good way from their bodies. Maybe if you have time to kill today you can find a website from a place like an aquarium which will help you figure out which jellies to avoid.

L, I'm quite sure that Sherlock has discovered your essentials in the flat and would be bored by them anyway.

rsf (who is still looking forward to the airplane site)

Small Hobbit said...

L - if you get the chance the last lap of the Moto GP is well worth watching.

Greg Lestrade said...

RSF - I'm quite sure he hasn't. And whilst I don't think he'd be in any way harmed by knowing about it, it's a good way for him to learn about respecting other people.

Thanks, SH, I'll watch later.

Anonymous said...

I see. Maybe one pocket of "please don't go here?" If he respects the set boundaries in the flat, that should be enough. (I would have respected boundaries, but I was never told not to go where I went; I didn't understand what I found until many years later though.)

How's work today? Have you figured out enough on the latest corpse to leave the case behind when you go?

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

We do back up the respect idea by keeping stuff out of his reach, on top of the wardrobe.... well, I say out of his reach, but that unfortunately doubles as out of John's reach.... :)

Now got an attempted murder... which I really am going to have to leave to the team.

pandabob said...

I'm glad work is keeping you busy Greg and I'm sure your team won't mind sorting the case without you.

not long to escape time now :-)

Anonymous said...

How are you going to keep Sherlock from exploding with impatience overnight?

Greg Lestrade said...

http://www.flightradar24.com/

Anonymous said...

Yellow airplane!

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock is, apparently, in the bath with his new snorkel and mask on.

pandabob said...

good for Sherlock, you should always check new kit before you take it in open water :-)

I'll never forget the look on my mums face when I told her I was going to have a bath in my dry suit, she just couldn't get her head around the idea of getting in the bath hoping not to get wet!!

I hope your'e on your way home soon :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

L - have you got anything to stop me from exploding with impatience overnight?

REReader said...

Sherlock is, apparently, in the bath with his new snorkel and mask on.

Well, of course! What if it leaks or something? Besides, who wants to wait to use something new and exciting? (Not me, that's for certain. :))

Greg Lestrade said...

Danger - yes. It may involve you exploding in other ways though. And a website link explaining would doubtless outrage public decency.

Anon Without A Name said...

a website link explaining would doubtless outrage public decency.

And again, a theory that can only really be confirmed by testing it...

:-p

John H. D. Watson said...

Does that mean you're almost home?

REReader said...

And a website link explaining would doubtless outrage public decency.

And here I thought that was what the interwebs were invented for...

Greg Lestrade said...

I am, indeed, locking my bike to your bike in some form of motorbike-shibari, as we'll be away for a while.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure they'll both enjoy that.

Greg Lestrade said...

Is Sherlock out of the bath? And has he seen the aeroplanes link?

John H. D. Watson said...

He is glued to the link, making crashing noises when two of them get too close.

REReader said...

Very appropriate. :)

Anonymous said...

The link is wonderful. I'm going to play with it, now I'm properly home. And make crashing noises!

Sherlock probably has the right idea about checking the fit of his mask -- but what do you do if it doesn't fit or leaks, Anonybob? It's kind of late to take it back to the store.

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Well he's now sitting on the floor, dressed in mask, snorkel, flippers and jeans and a t-shirt, with the degus.

I'd love to know what they were thinking...

I can't wait to cook us lovely things and eat outdoors in the sunshine.

REReader said...

:)

There's really quite a lot to be said for throwing oneself fully into new experiences!

Greg Lestrade said...

He's now set my phone alarm for...about 2am, I think. I don't think we actually need to go until more like 4 or 5. (Yes, John Watson, you can sleep on my shoulder all the way there, and then sleep on the plane until we land, and then sleep in the hire car, and finally wake up at the beach.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Promise?

pandabob said...

I'm thinking that the excitement that you're trying to contain within one small flat is probably bending the walls by now ;-)


RSF - because they're leaving tomorrow or because it's wet and used? If the mask doesn't work properly and you don't have time to take it back than I guess you learn how to break the seal and clear the flooding very quickly ;-) but if you try a mask and it doesn't keep the water out it's not fit for service and you return it, wet or not :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

I promise. I know you and early starts aren't the best of friends. I'll strap you to my back and carry you through the airport, and I'm putting Sherlock on a leash, or he'll manage to get on a flight to Bora Bora or something.

John H. D. Watson said...

You're so good to me.

Greg Lestrade said...

Maybe I'll give you a shift when we're on the plane... trying to keep Sherlock from exploring not only the entire aircraft, but every passenger's life history...

John H. D. Watson said...

We'll put him next to the window...And sit between him and the rest of the plane.

REReader said...

And then he can look out, which is really more interesting anyway. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Maybe take one of the bike locks to substitute for a seatbelt? I'll swallow the key...

Anon Without A Name said...

locking my bike to your bike in some form of motorbike-shibari

Now there's an image to be going on with...

I'm almost feeling a bit sorry for you all; John's got to get up at Oh My God o'clock in the morning, Lestrade has to wrangle an over-exited Sherlock while John's comatose, Sherlock's got to try to contain his excitement, and Mycroft's got nowhere to hide and pretend he doesn't know any of you. OTOH, you are going on holiday somewhere sun-drenched with a pool and the sea, so it's definitely only "almost" :-)

Mycroft said...

It's all right. He's promised not to wear the flip flops until we're actually at the beach.

REReader said...

That seems a good compromise.

We all know Sherlock is thrilled about this vacation--are you pleased as well, Mycroft?

Greg Lestrade said...

There's nothing wrong with my flip flops!

Mycroft has a sun hat, ipod, book and teenage ability to pretend he doesn't know anyone at all, ever. And he's allowed to find somewhere quiet once in the airport or guard John's sleeping body and the bags while I try to get rid of some of Sherlock's energy before confining him in a flying tin can.

REReader said...

Sounds like fun!

(No, I'm not being sarcastic. It does sound like fun. :))

John H. D. Watson said...

I will be perfectly rational and awake and only mildly cranky, I promise.

Greg Lestrade said...

Good. you can explain to Sherlock why he's not getting any aftershave in Duty Free then, despite announcing to me earlier that he was...

John H. D. Watson said...

Why does he want aftershave?

Greg Lestrade said...

If I knew that, I could possibly have formulated a better answer against it.

I can only guess it's either for his next date, or that he knows how flammable it can be... or there's one that contains some extract or chemical he particularly wants.

He did quiz me about mine extensively last time I put some on.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure the answer will be entertaining when we find out what it is.

Greg Lestrade said...

Mmm. Right, I've almost packed. And Sherlock will wake up in a few hours... so bed?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yes please. Don't let me forget to change the sheets in the morning.

Greg Lestrade said...

expecting visitors while we're away? :) I shall try. although I fear a reluctant duvet cover could easily defeat you in a fight in the early hours of the morning...

John H. D. Watson said...

It's just better if they're clean when we get home, hush. You'll have to help me then.

Greg Lestrade said...

Mmm. I have a sudden urge to make it really worth your while changing these ones...

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh yes? Then we really should go to bed, come on.

Anonymous said...

Anonybob, because they don't have time, not because the mask is wet. I wondered because I read a book where they fixed the mask fit with tape, but it was written in the 1940s and I'm pretty sure the materials are different now.

Sleep well, all, and in the morning, if Sherlock likes, he can study your atlas while the slower people find food and caffeine. If he knows the approximate possible route, he can play Rivers and Towns while he's looking out the window of the plane. The maps in airlline magazines aren't usually very detailed, so a little preparation is helpful beforehand if you want to figure out your route.

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock is ready to go. I'm making coffee. I think John and Mycroft are sensibly still asleep...

REReader said...

But it's so EXCITING, how can they still be asleep?! :)

Safe and happy travels to you all.

Desert Wanderer said...

Damn. I was hoping it would stay at 69 and I could use it as a good luck charm. :(

How ready is "ready to go"? "Sitting on the steps waiting" ready? "Jumping on Mycroft's bed" ready? "In the car with his belt fastened" ready?

REReader said...

These are good questions, DW. Inquiring minds want to know.

Anonymous said...

I hope the airline folks are ready for lots of questions, since Sherlock sounds like he's completely awake. Too bad they don't let kids look at the cockpit before the flight anymore.

Have a safe trip!

rsf

REReader said...

Oh, I remember having a look at the cockpit the first time I flew, RSF! They don't do anything like that nowadays, flying has all the charm of bus travel, only with a better view. (I still love it though. If I had money to spare I'd take flying lessons, just for the fun of it.)

Anonymous said...

I did ground school and one actual flying lesson but I couldn't afford to finish getting my license. It was great fun, though.

rsf

pandabob said...

I'm guessing you're inside your tin can by now and you'll see this after you've landed so I hope it was a good trip and that you all have the best and most relaxing holiday ever :-)



DW- I hope whatever you needed a good luck charm for went/goes ok :-)

Anon Without A Name said...

I assuming that you're currently in flight. I hope the rest of your morning went smoothly and as stress free as possible, and that the same happens when you land.

Have a wonderful, relaxing time :-)

Small Hobbit said...

Echoing Nameless. Hope you all have a great time. Make the most of the sunshine - it's bank holiday so of course it's raining.

Sherlock said...

We're here and it's hot and we're getting the car right now and then going to drive a bit and get food and ice cream I hope and then get there and swim!

REReader said...

That sounds lovely, Sherlock--have a wonderful time!

Anonymous said...

Ice cream sounds good. Swimming does too, but don't forget to give yourself time between eating and swimming.

pandabob said...

It all sounds lovely Sherlock, I hope you learnt lots of interesting things on the flight ;-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for letting us know you've arrived safely, Sherlock. Are you going to practice with the snorkel at the pool before trying it in the ocean?

rsf

Mazarin said...

Have a great time, Sherlock, and I hope you see lots of interesting sea life!

Hope the rest of you guys have a great time, too - relaxing, reading, swimming, playing in the sand, whatever! Do they have parasailing anywhere around there? I've always wanted to try that.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, that does sound like fun.

Greg Lestrade said...

It is...actually stunning. The pool looks out over the sea. We can easily walk to the beach, there's a hammock in the garden, and very few other people about.

Sherlock would have jumped in the pool fully clothed had Mycroft not been faster than John or I and grabbed him.

Anonymous said...

He knows his brother well!

Have a lovely time all of you

Lancs. Anon

REReader said...

It sounds amazing! I can hardly blame Sherlock for wanting to get starting on the holidaying immediately. :)

Have a wonderful time!

Anonymous said...

Well, if I remember right one of the tests for the diving school was being able to swim a certain distance with your clothes on, so Sherlock probably should practice. Just not until there are people with him who are ready to help if it's harder than he thinks it is. And not until he's wearing clothes that John doesn't mind getting wet.

rsf

REReader said...

And chlorinated. Don't want to bleach out anything nice! (Especially shoes... :))

Small Hobbit said...

Not to mention whatever was in his pockets!

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, plenty of time for swimming practice once he's in appropriate clothing.

We did get him a rash vest with uv protection just to make sure he doesn't burn when he's in the water all day. He may grow gills before we're home.

REReader said...

That's a completely brilliant idea! (No matter how waterproof sunblock is supposed to be, it does wash off eventually.)

Greg Lestrade said...

It's only a t shirt, so he still needs to be caught regularly and his suncream put on his arms, legs, neck etc.

And I've got my shorts, sunglasses and flip flops on. Much to John and Mycroft's amusement no doubt.

Anonymous said...

Just haul him out once in a while to let his toes unwrinkle.

You sound comfortable. Haven't John and Mycroft switched to vacation attire yet?

rsf

REReader said...

That sounds like a most appropriate outfit for the surroundings, what's there to be amused about? :)

Small Hobbit said...

Are these the short yellow shorts, or a different, and equally Mycroft embarrassing, pair?

Greg Lestrade said...

They're sort of green-grey knee length.

I'd protest, yet again, that I own no short yellow shorts, but no one believes me, so...

REReader said...

No one believes you because we WANT to believe you have very short yellow shorts. :D

Anonymous said...

But we love to imagine you in them, L!

Which reminds me, did you get John those red boxers?

;D

rsf

REReader said...

(Green-grey knee length shorts sound entirely respectable. Conservative, even!)

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, hope you all enjoy that then. They sound bloody horrible to me.

John didn't get the tight red swimming shorts, no. But he does still have the red boxers I gave him for Red's funeral. Not sure he'll ever wear them again though.

REReader said...

It makes a nice mental image, what can I say? :)

Anonymous said...

It isn't so much the color as the length, L. And you did say that they were yellowish. Mostly it's the idea of you being joyous enough to wear them.

rsf

Has Sherlock managed to get into the pool or the ocean yet or has the early morning caught up with him?

desert wanderer said...

sounds lovely and i hope you all have a lovely time. <3

John H. D. Watson said...

Does this mean you don't want the short yellow shorts I got you as a late birthday present...?

pandabob said...

I hope you're all having a really relaxing time and that sherlock has got wet in as many (safe)ways as possible :-)

Have a great evening/night/afternoon/morning or who know what wherever you are on the earth ;-)

desert wanderer said...

a late bday present for who doc you or lestrade?

Greg Lestrade said...

I really don't think yellow is my colour.

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