29 April 2014


rrrrprrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg rrrr rrrrrrrrr prrrrrrr krrrrrrkrrrrrrrrprrrrrrrr

Ignore that, humans. That is a message for the feline overlords who monitor this channel.

I have the grey human under my control. He is weak against my powers. Although the other human, John, is even weaker. I am definitely keeping him. He not only bought me this nice house, but he also has a warm head and provides food readily.

He is currently trying to train the grey human to provide such things for me too. The grey one is rather slow though. I will keep him for a while, however, to see if he can be trained satisfactorily. It is useful that he leaves my house most days, giving me more time with the John human.

However, if the grey one keeps tickling my ear fur to make me twitch them, I will kill him. I will rip his face off during the night and wear it as a hat.

The small one amused himself earlier by playing with a piece of string with some crude rendering of a fish attached to it. As the John human was attempting to wash their ridiculous body-coverings, as they seem incapable of growing proper fur, I indulged him by joining in his pointless activity.

The other one, with the two large stupid four legged creatures seems to be missing. I am not sure where they have gone. The grey one, John one and small one do not seem concerned. Either there is nothing to worry about, or they are so stupid they have yet to realise he is missing.

Earlier today the John human left my house for a while. I washed myself, and, as this was tiring, I fell asleep in the sun. Upon his return I sniffed him to check he had not been anywhere I did not approve of, and then allowed him to brush me, so as to make him feel wanted.

Shortly he will attempt his new nightly ritual of putting me into the hanging throne and worshipping me, before going to his own sleeping space. However, just as the grey one does, I will follow him in there and make use of his body warmth. His hair is a pleasing colour, although it seems to be copying the grey one's. I feel sure I can reverse this, and instead change it to a fetching orange colour.

I will report back with further new of their training.

24 April 2014

Pour myself a cup of ambition

As most of you will have seen, Mycroft got offered the job :)

I don't think it's every day of the week...but I might be wrong. And he said something about sometimes just working afternoons, when they get very busy selling lunches and ice-creams and things.

He gets to look very smart, in a shirt and a black apron.

Work was hellish today, owing to the demise of our coffee machine. Drastic measures had to be taken. We ended the day with a cafetiere, but it couldn't keep pace with the demand for coffee. Didn't help my already grumpy mood at going back to work - I could've happily had a Sherlock-style strop at 6am, an declared everything unfair. But Maf was already in my space in the bed. So I came to work.

Cases were...well, okay. I don't understand why people don't plead guilty in the face of completely overwhelming evidence. I mean...when they don't have a cause to publicise or anything.

Sherlock has just about calmed down, after a rough few days of Mycroft leaving and school starting. Not long until the summer break, which seems incredible. He enjoyed celebrating St George's day and Shakespeare's birthday, sounded like they did a lot of acting. Probably a good way for the teachers to let them all run off the last of the holiday steam.

I do worry about how he'll cope when he moves to the much more structured learning of big school. Never mind the exams... I think he might excel in things he enjoys, and let others fall seriously by the wayside. And I can't say I blame him... Maybe he will just have to invent his own job one day so no employer ever cares about his exam marks. And hope a Uni takes him, if he wants to go.

Maf has explored her new hanging kingdom. Queendom? I don't know. She seems to like it, along with enjoying digging her claws into my leg and acting as a makeshift hat for John. Maybe she's attracted to his hair? Thinks it's a rather small, flat, cat.

And finally, I'd love to go here.

And Nicky sent me this - think you could do it, Danger?

16 April 2014

Gettin' up the nerve is a man's man's job

First day of the course over - we sat in a classroom, then ran about wearing far too much gear and shouting a lot. Now I'm doing my homework for the tests tomorrow.

Got home to the general air of chaos. Finally found out what had been planted at the allotment (beans). John caught the meaty-pawed dog before it trod cat food into the carpet.

Discovered one small pretending-to-sleep kitten can occupy an entire half of the sofa (If I try that I get told to budge up, or get John's feet in my lap or something. Kitten gets away with it completely unmolested.)

And finally, after some careful questioning, found out that Mycroft has been invited to have a 'trial day' at a local deli, with view to possibly getting a job there in the summer. The lady who part-owns it was impressed by his politeness, manner and, in Sherlock's words 'He knew stuff about cheese'. She is also forewarned that he is related to an ice-cream vacuum, given we went there a few times last year, because in the summer they sell ice cream.

So yeah, they sell cheese, meats, olives, oils etc. A few specialist ingredients. And do a lunchtime sandwich thing, made fresh in front of you from what they sell.

And a few other interesting things.

I saw a thing today that said if food prices had gone up as much as house prices, a chicken would cost £52.

I dunno if I should sell my place. It's...difficult. I mean, the tenants are fine, although having said that I should arrange a day to pop in and check the place over, in case it's a crack den. but...well, I'm feeling more and more like I don't need it.

Which is good. And I'd always keep enough cash back, just in case. The average price here in London has gone up by £63k in the past year - double the average wage. It's madness, right?

12 April 2014

Yes I am the fox, a fascinating cross Of sharp as a whip and tough as an ox

Mycroft has just made me an exquisite bacon sarnie for lunch! Perfect, with some mayo, avocado, bacon, black pepper... we should keep him around ;)

Sherlock has announced he could run the marathon tomorrow. Sadly he's left it a bit late to enter. Or train. Or be born - I'm pretty sure you need to be 16 or something. Apparently this shouldn't matter.

I think John really wishes he had entered though. We might go and watch a bit tomorrow, or they might, if I'm asleep...

Last night was surveillance, which is always boring. But we ended up getting some good intelligence by the end of the night.

Also had this girl visiting us.

She was obviously doing her own surveillance. Hope she had a good night too.

There were lots of ginger and white hairs on my side of the bed this morning... although John tried to keep up his denial that she's taking over ;)

She also followed me to the toilet, which left me in fear of what sort of things she might pounce on...plus it's very odd, going about your ablutions whilst under close scrutiny of a small moglet.

Anyway, got a far more interesting op running tonight, trying to find a guy who stabbed someone last week. Going to be out on the street, actually doing things, which makes me happy.

6 April 2014

Take that look from off your face

So after John's last post, Maf came and had a little word with me.

She thinks I've set a bad example, putting up photos where John doesn't look his best. So I'm very sorry for that. She said she wasn't very happy that he'd put up that pic of her looking a bit unwashed. I told her I'd sort it out...

But I did also tell her I might put up a photo of her stuck in the sofa cushions, or trying to lick her own bum...

Told John the same thing ;)

So here's their response:

1 April 2014

Our birthday trip

Hello it's Sherlock and I want to show you some pictures of our holiday to the Isle of Wight and it was good but it wasn't long enough because of stupid school except Mrs N says we're going to have a donkey come in and see us and that won't be stupid.