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Ignore that, humans. That is a message for the feline overlords who monitor this channel.
I have the grey human under my control. He is weak against my powers. Although the other human, John, is even weaker. I am definitely keeping him. He not only bought me this nice house, but he also has a warm head and provides food readily.
He is currently trying to train the grey human to provide such things for me too. The grey one is rather slow though. I will keep him for a while, however, to see if he can be trained satisfactorily. It is useful that he leaves my house most days, giving me more time with the John human.
However, if the grey one keeps tickling my ear fur to make me twitch them, I will kill him. I will rip his face off during the night and wear it as a hat.
The small one amused himself earlier by playing with a piece of string with some crude rendering of a fish attached to it. As the John human was attempting to wash their ridiculous body-coverings, as they seem incapable of growing proper fur, I indulged him by joining in his pointless activity.
The other one, with the two large stupid four legged creatures seems to be missing. I am not sure where they have gone. The grey one, John one and small one do not seem concerned. Either there is nothing to worry about, or they are so stupid they have yet to realise he is missing.
Earlier today the John human left my house for a while. I washed myself, and, as this was tiring, I fell asleep in the sun. Upon his return I sniffed him to check he had not been anywhere I did not approve of, and then allowed him to brush me, so as to make him feel wanted.
Shortly he will attempt his new nightly ritual of putting me into the hanging throne and worshipping me, before going to his own sleeping space. However, just as the grey one does, I will follow him in there and make use of his body warmth. His hair is a pleasing colour, although it seems to be copying the grey one's. I feel sure I can reverse this, and instead change it to a fetching orange colour.
I will report back with further new of their training.