So today, after packing Sherlock off to school, John and I climbed on our trusty steeds and headed for Whitstable. Why? Why not?
It's one of those places everyone knows about, but I'd never been, and neither had John. The sum total of our knowledge was location, Oysters, Peter Cushing, Vegetables and Tipping the Velvet...well, who wouldn't want to go there once they knew those few things??
It was nice - everything you'd think, really. Fishing, boats, shingle, little shops...yeah. Plus a nice ride out and back - been a while since we went very far on the bikes.
And then we got back in time to pick up Sherlock and have a nice evening together.
I called Nicky once we were back, had a chat about Mum - she's fine. And Nicky wondered if I'd seen the story in the new about soldiers and violence - which I had.
I'm really glad we've...got to know one another again. There were so many years when I shut her out, because I was ashamed of what was happening to me. And times like this, make me really appreciate that she never gave up on me, and after everything, she hadn't been discouraged from trying to help me out.
The way John and I met...well, I'd be lying if there were times I haven't been scared of John. But not...scared for myself, if you see what I mean. I'm a completely different person from who I was when I was with Bry. Which isn't to say I in any way brought that on myself, or was at fault. But I know now, if I ever did feel uncomfortable, I'd have enough strength and self-worth to get out of the situation. Whereas before, it'd been chipped away at for so long, I didn't.
And days like today, walking along a windy beach with John, just makes me appreciate so much that people haven't given up on me - that I haven't given up on me. That I've...tried, at least...not to make them give up, because it seemed easier than them having any expectations of me.
Anyway, now Sherlock's angling for a late-night walk, John's about to spill the tea he's holding because he's falling asleep, and I've just realised his birthday is slap bang in the middle of the long weekend... so have to plan something suitable ;)
It wouldn't be unseemly for an old DI to leap out of a huge easter egg, covered in chocolate, would it? ;)