15 March 2013

I have seen him buying vegetables

So today, after packing Sherlock off to school, John and I climbed on our trusty steeds and headed for Whitstable. Why? Why not?

It's one of those places everyone knows about, but I'd never been, and neither had John. The sum total of our knowledge was location, Oysters, Peter Cushing, Vegetables and Tipping the Velvet...well, who wouldn't want to go there once they knew those few things??

It was nice - everything you'd think, really. Fishing, boats, shingle, little shops...yeah. Plus a nice ride out and back - been a while since we went very far on the bikes.

And then we got back in time to pick up Sherlock and have a nice evening together.


I called Nicky once we were back, had a chat about Mum - she's fine. And Nicky wondered if I'd seen the story in the new about soldiers and violence - which I had.

I'm really glad we've...got to know one another again. There were so many years when I shut her out, because I was ashamed of what was happening to me. And times like this, make me really appreciate that she never gave up on me, and after everything, she hadn't been discouraged from trying to help me out.

The way John and I met...well, I'd be lying if there were times I haven't been scared of John. But not...scared for myself, if you see what I mean. I'm a completely different person from who I was when I was with Bry. Which isn't to say I in any way brought that on myself, or was at fault. But I know now, if I ever did feel uncomfortable, I'd have enough strength and self-worth to get out of the situation. Whereas before, it'd been chipped away at for so long, I didn't.

And days like today, walking along a windy beach with John, just makes me appreciate so much that people haven't given up on me - that I haven't given up on me. That I've...tried, at least...not to make them give up, because it seemed easier than them having any expectations of me.

Anyway, now Sherlock's angling for a late-night walk, John's about to spill the tea he's holding because he's falling asleep, and I've just realised his birthday is slap bang in the middle of the long weekend... so have to plan something suitable ;)

It wouldn't be unseemly for an old DI to leap out of a huge easter egg, covered in chocolate, would it? ;)

117 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sorry I've scared you. I...yeah. Just that I suppose. Sorry.

And I forgot about my birthday.

Greg Lestrade said...

To be fair, we were fighting off a murderer and some glow-in-the-dark monsters the first time. I'm glad you were scary then.

I did wonder if I should just not mention it until the day... but that seemed mean.

John H. D. Watson said...

I might've remembered eventually.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock would have mentioined it. He wouldn't want to go without a birthday treat for us all.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like it was a good day. I hope you do take Sherlock out for a walk in the night. I meet too many children who get shuttled from door to car after dark, and they don't know anything about the stars, or night creatures, except what they've seen in books.

As for being scarier than glow-in-the-dark monsters... isn't that a good thing? :D

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

He went to bed. John was already half asleep and I think Sherlock was only asking because it's Friday - not really because he wanted to go.

And yeah, like I said, I was glad he was scary that time - the first time we met. Although...in slightly different circumstances it might have been enough to scare me off too.

pandabob said...

posts like this one make me smile and make me glad there are people in your life you don't find it creepy to be offered hugs by ;-)

I hope you all sleep well and that you have a really good day tomorrow :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Thanks - you too!

Been trying to find a lighthouse to stay in for Danger's birthday - given his love for a good lighthouse... but there seem to be loads of lighthouse cottages, and not many lighthouses that look any good.

Might have to change my plans a little ;)

pandabob said...

Having never considered that you could actually stay in a lighthouse I've just found one I want to stay in! you are a bad influence Mr Lestrade ;-)

spandrella said...

Well, this is probably as good an entry to say this on as any--wanted to tell you, Lestrade, that I met my dad for coffee last weekend. I brought along my co-worker's boyfriend, who sat at another table (I think he was secretly hoping my dad would try something) and kept his sunglasses on and generally looked intimidating.

I listened to what my dad wanted to say but have no desire to restart a relationship with him and told him that. We'll see if he stays away--from what I remember, he can be as charming as can be until he doesn't get his way and then Mr. Hyde comes out--but I didn't feel afraid of him. He's smaller than I remember. And he got fat in jail. He just seems like a sad, faded old man. Not the same guy that I've spent so many years afraid of, but then, I guess I forgot that I've grown past the age where he could pick me up be the arm. But my coworker and her boyfriend made it clear that if I need anything I can call them, and they even gave me a key to their house if it turns out I need a hiding spot.

So I'm still kind of on tenterhooks but okay. Thank you for your advice before. :)

-Ella

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm glad you found a safe way of meeting him - and I'm really glad your friends have been so supportive.

pandabob said...

How goes the day guys? I hope the weather is perfect for whatever you are doing :-)

Anonymous said...

Just popped in to ask if Mycroft has been out comet watching. I forgot to look on Tuesday, but there should be a great view of comet Pan-starrs this Sunday night.

Pictures from Tuesday over here:

http://www.space.com/20219-comet-pan-starrs-moon-photos.html

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Mango eggs are... Difficult, when you don't know what you're doing. And Sherlock is 'helping'

The amount of faith he has that I might know what we should do is touching though.

Anonymous said...

Now you've got me truly curious. Do let us know if they turn out edible!

rsf

Small Hobbit said...

I think I enjoyed the rugby rather more than John will have done!

Greg Lestrade said...

But not more than I did! Although we're probably talking about different matches. ;)

Mango eggs are... Well, not inedible. Sherlock says he likes them, but possibly because he just likes making them v

pandabob said...

Sherlock enjoying making them means its rather important that they are kind of edible I would have thought ;-)

Small Hobbit said...

We probably are, L. Although we may both have been yelling "go on!" rather loudly.

Sherlock said...

The mango eggs were good we should definitely make more and Lestrade said I couldn't go out in the hail even though it's not nearly my bedtime.

pandabob said...

did Lestrade give a reason Sherlock or can you think of one yourself?

I'm glad you liked the mango eggs, its nice when something is fun to make and nice to eat isn't it :-)

Sherlock said...

it was a stupid reason and the rugby was boring except Lestrade picked John up and spun him around so his legs stuck out and it was funny.

pandabob said...

stupid as in not wanting you to get cold and wet or stupid as in the hail might hit you so hard it might crack you down the middle? ;-)

The rugby was rubbish and I'm kind of unsure as to how John would have felt about being spun around but I'm glad you found it funny :-)

Sherlock said...

NO he just said 'We're not going out while it's hailing, Sherlock' BUT the whole reason I wanted to go out was because it was hailing! So that was a stupid reason.

Anonymous said...

Hail is kind of painful if you're out in it. But it's interesting to look at hailstones once it stops. Especially bigger ones. If you cut them open very carefully you can sometimes see all the layers of ice as they built up.

I'm glad you liked the mango eggs, Sherlock. Were they as hard to make as Lestrade made out they were?

rsf

Sherlock said...

I have to go to bed but no they weren't hard you just had to be careful with them so they didn't break but they were easy really apart from that.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I will try something similar some day then.

Goodnight, Sherlock! (And everyone else, too.)

rsf

Rider said...

I was riding my motorcycle home the night a hailstorm struck that destroyed a couple of hundred roofs across Sydney.

I was lucky that I was almost home by the time the golfball sized ones were hitting me! I was worried about the bike's tank getting dented but that didn't happen. Maybe because I leant right over it (the bike has a fairly upright riding position) to protect it!

Mate of mine was much further from home, so he and his bike squeezed into a bus shelter to wait it out. Others were hiding in railway underpasses and under bridges.

Why does roofs look like it ought to be rooves but that looks wrong too?


Greg Lestrade said...

...they're not hard when you're not the one who did all the prep work the day before, but waltzed up in time for the fun part, no...

Our hail wasn't very spectacular - very rarely is in this country. Just noisy.

pandabob said...

don't you just love how kids seeing cooking ;-)

next time you'll have to show him the whole process then he'll appreciate the taste of them all the more :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Maybe you're right. They...I mean, they tasted okay, but not really worth the effort, in my opinion? You could just have mango and yoghurt, and not have to plan things 24 hrs in advance!

Anonymous said...

So have you found a giant easter egg yet?

Greg Lestrade said...

Not yet! I shall keep looking ;)

Anonymous said...

You could just paint yourself with chocolate and edible glitter. I bet Sherlock would help.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha! I fear that A. All anyone would think of looking at me was 'You can't polish a turd - but you can roll one in glitter' and B. I'm fairly sure there's something a little bit...dodgy about asking a 7 year old to paint you in chocolate :)

Sherlock is currently protesting very loudly that he has to wait until tomorrow for John to take him back to hospital and see about having his cast removed. He doesn't even want to make biscuits...

pandabob said...

not make biscuits? he must be seriously cross ;-)

Are you doing something else instead or just sitting with your fingers in your ears?

Greg Lestrade said...

He relented and helped make lunch (rose veal, plus trimmings.) basically because it involved bones and things, I think...

I've been sorting out a little break for John's birthday ;)

pandabob said...

John's lucky to have someone to plan breaks for him, I'm guessing we're not allowed to know the details just yet ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Might make vague attempts to keep it a secret. I've cleared it with Anthea, sorted out the security (Who are glad to hear it isn't camping again ;) ) and...I think that's everyone who needs to know!

REReader said...

I think that's everyone who needs to know!

I bet Sherlock strongly disagrees with that... :D

John H. D. Watson said...

It's very kind of you. Thank you.

Sherlock said...

I should definitely know you told Mycroft last time and you should tell me I can keep a secret! I didn't tell anyone I broke that mug for ages and ages and ages.

Anonymous said...

I find out the best stuff, googling after you mention things. Rose veal is now something I will ask for.

Are your vague attempts at keeping your plans secret going to keep them secret from Sherlock?

rsf

REReader said...

(Psst, Sherlock--that was probably not the best example of secret-keeping to bring up, since it's the sort of thing adults think you shouldn't keep secret. But you've kept surprises secret before--like your violin solo a year ago at the Christmas show--right? Those are good examples to mention.)

Sherlock said...

I told them already though because John was looking for it and it was an accident AND I cleared it up so it wasn't a secret any more.

REReader said...

I assumed you had told them already, because of the way you phrased it--and that was good and responsible of you, that you told them. And cleaning it up was also very good, even though the mess was an accident, so no one else had to.

Greg Lestrade said...

It's very kind of you. Thank you.

Don't be silly. It's a pleasure.

And I'm not telling you, Sherlock. And don't go searching on my computer, all right?

RSF - I have no idea. Frankly, John glaring at me would probably make me tell all... but you know, I'll try!

pandabob said...

I'm thinking John probably doesn't want to ruin his surprise and as much as Sherlock might want to know he seems to be a fan of surprises as well so I don't think you'll have too much bother Greg :-)

Anonymous said...

Sherlock, when I was small I broke a cut-glass bowl my mom had and didn't tell anyone until I got old enough to have a job and buy her a new one. No one was more surprised than me to find out that she'd kept the lid of the old bowl (and that it fit the one I'd bought!) But I probably should have just told her in the first place.

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Danger - I probably should have said - We're not going away for a long time, because Mycroft has revision and Sherlock will have homework and things. But I do seem to have accrued an embarrassingly large amount of rest days...and, well, I sort of need to use them before the end-of-year or lose them, so I thought I'd take quite a bit of Easter off. Just to warn you, you'll have all of us under your feet for a week or two.

John H. D. Watson said...

That'll be nice.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah. I hope so. Sorry, I probably should have asked if it was okay with you.

John H. D. Watson said...

Having you around is always okay with me.

Greg Lestrade said...

Right. Good.

You okay?

John H. D. Watson said...

...I don't like the idea that I scare you.

Sorry. Trying to get over it.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh.

You don't - I mean, you don't scare me, most of the time.

But...I don't know how to explain it. I've seen you in times when we - or the boys - have been in danger. I've seen what you've done. And...who wouldn't be scared?

I'm not going to pretend to be some macho guy who doesn't ever get scared of things.

But you don't have to be sorry. Like I said - this is how we met. I knew what I was getting into.

John H. D. Watson said...

Okay.

Greg Lestrade said...

I feel like I should say I wish I hadn't said it.

But I don't. I'm glad you know. Just...it doesn't change anything, right? I love you. I love you even when you're scary. I know you've only ever been protecting us all.

REReader said...

I don't know if this is on point, but...this sounds like a conversation I once had with the wife of one of the high level black belts in my system. She said that while they were still dating, she had gone to a testing/demonstration, and it was the first time she fully realized that this man she was with could, you know, kill, easily. That he had spent years learning and training to be able to kill. That he was actually dangerous, and scary. But also that it's not a bad thing to have someone dangerous and scary on your side.

(If I've been sticking my nose in where it's not wanted, and/or if I'm just wrong, just ignore me.)

John H. D. Watson said...

I love you too.

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - The way I see it (and I do see it, every day) is that anyone can kill. Most people can kill easily - I mean, physically, it is easy for them to kill someone else. Not that they mentally would find it easy to take a life. I don't imagine for a moment that your friends husband would find it mentally easy to kill someone either, though.

Obviously most people wouldn't find it particularly easy to kill with their bare hands, as he might. Although again, there's a big mental difference between knowing the mechanics behind it and actually delivering a fatal - rather than disabling - blow. But most situations we see there are weapons readily to hand. Glasses, bottles, knives, blunt objects - occasionally guns, although in this country those tend to come with more intent and planning.

Sadly too many people don't actually realise how easy it is to kill someone with a sharp object, or with a single/few punches to the head. I've seen plenty of occasions where the intent was to defend, not kill, but that's not how it ended up. I would assume some training there would actually make you far less likely to cause a fatal injury.

It is - in my opinion - far more worrying when you realise someone can cope with hurting/killing and not seem to be bothered by it. And it's chilling to see, when we do arrest someone like that. I mean, very very few people have that ability. Even those with extensive training, in the long run. And for me, seeing people who can hurt someone and not care - and not in the field of sports or whatever, but when people in a domestic or 'normal' situation seem unaffected by what they've done, that's...well, I can't really put it into words.

John - If Sherlock gets his cast off, and does his exercises, we can all bike to your birthday weekend. As long as Anthea or security don't mind driving the dogs. And possibly lots of luggage...

John H. D. Watson said...

All right. That'll be good.

pandabob said...

I know you don't really do talking about things here with us lot John but I hope you are ok.

Sherlock said...

I'll do all my exercises! Where are we going is it a long way? Is it a lighthouse? You said a lighthouse the other night and John likes lighthouses.

Anonymous said...

L, I think I know what you're getting at. There are people I find scary that I'm not scared of, if that makes any sense. I can see what they're capable of, in defense of someone else, but I never feel as if they're going to use that scariness -- that power -- frivolously, or to be cruel. It's the people who just lash out because its the easiest thing to do, the ones who don't care who sees, or what happens afterwards, that are impossible to trust, or even like.

I expect Sherlock will be very diligent about his exercises if it means getting to ride the bikes again.

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

RSF - Yeah, that's a big part of it.

Arresting some people for murder/manslaughter/self defence can seem simple at first, and then when you really dig into a case...well, sometimes, but rarely, I've really felt for the person, because it would seem they genuinely had no notion that they might ever actually kill the person, and you know that no punishment handed down by the court will ever be worse than what they put themselves through.

Sherlock is already pestering John to know what exercises he'll get. Used to be squeezing a rubber ball... technology may have moved on, though!

Anonymous said...

When I had to do hand strengthening exercises after elbow surgery, I was given this stuff that's like really stiff playdough. And then told that I shouldn't do the exercises more than the right number of times! More is not always better, I guess.

rsf

REReader said...

I would assume some training there would actually make you far less likely to cause a fatal injury.

Certainly proper training would make is far less likely to cause a fatal injury by accident, yes.

Not wanting to go too far afield, I will only add that a martially-oriented--and responsible--martial arts school will not give people tools they cannot be trusted to use when needed (and only when needed). And...that's probably enough about that.


rsf--I got something similar after my hand surgery! Only I thought of it as more like stiff silly putty. :) I also got other exercises to do--only a set number of times a day, no more, no less. Of course, arms and hands are different, so...

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - I'd sort of hope it went without saying that places wouldn't just go arming people at random. But it probably doesn't.

Sadly most kids here just 'borrow' one of their mum's kitchen knives. Pretty hard to do anything much about that.

pandabob said...

other than talk of scary people how goes the evening gents?

REReader said...

Well, I was mostly meaning skills, but yeah, actual weapons, too. (And of course in the US, practically speaking, anyone can get hold of a gun--but that's a whole other discussion.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Quiet, AnonyBob. Yours?

pandabob said...

same here, quiet's good sometimes :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah. Sometimes.

Not that it's ever that quiet, with Sherlock.

pandabob said...

Kid noise is not really noise though is it ;-)

I hope Sherlock settles to sleep easily, is this his last week at school before Easter or is he in next week as well?

Greg Lestrade said...

He's in next week, too. Obviously not happy that Mycroft gets longer. But hopefully Mycroft can use the peace and quiet to work, especially with our trip planned.

pandabob said...

We must be the only people in the country that finish this week I think.

I hope a week of quiet will mean Mycroft can get enough done to be able to really enjoy your trip without worrying about his school work. :-)

Small Hobbit said...

We finish this week. And go back 8 April.

pandabob said...

Its nice to know we're not just weird up here SH thanks :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm sure Mycroft will make full use of his time, he's so sensible. He'll get his own room on holiday, too, if he wants time to himself.

Anon Without A Name said...

The holiday plans sound intriguing. I'm with security on camping (although probably for rather different reasons - I like a proper bed, and proper, non-communal, plumbing :-p).

Sherlock - I hope you enjoy having your cast taken off, and that the physio exercises aren't too boring.

John - you ok? I think that was a brave and important thing for Lestrade to have said, but I imagine it was uncomfortable to hear.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'll be all right.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry. I probably shouldn't have said it on here. But I don't think I'd have got it out if I just...said it. I should have thought about it more though, sorry.

pandabob said...

as much as its a bugger to do John I suspect that statement will only actually be true if you talk to Lestrade about what you're thinking.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - it's okay. Don't be sorry. If it was something you needed to say, that's what this place is here for.

Greg Lestrade said...

Well I should have thought more about how it might make you feel. And I'm sorry I didn't.

I suppose...I thought you sort of liked it - being a bit scary, with your background, and what you do now - nanny-come-bodyguard to the boys, and the krav maga and stuff. And I shouldn't have assumed.

Kestrel337 said...

Growing as a couple is sometimes really really hard.

You two have navigated many unique challenges and have built something amazing. I hope the conversation around this is not too uncomfortable for anyone.

And that hugs (or whatever, ice cream maybe?) happen afterwards.

butting out now

John H. D. Watson said...

L - I'm sorry if that's...something I've projected.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - it's okay. Don't be sorry. If it was something you needed to say, that's what this place is here for.

Greg Lestrade said...

I don't know. Probably didn't need to say it, no. Seems like it hasn't changed anything for me and has made things worse for you. So, on balance, don't think saying it really helped anyone.

Small Hobbit said...

I'm about to go on holiday for a few days. Last time I went away L managed to get himself kidnapped, so I would appreciate it if you could both take very good care of yourselves and each other until I get back.

Anon Without A Name said...

SH - enjoy your holiday!

John, Lestrade - apologies if my comment was the catalyst for some angst.

(unsolicited opinion alert)
For what it's worth, Lestrade, I think given the original context, it was worth saying... not just about your own self-worth and strength (and I know that you attribute that, in part, to John), but also the deep trust between you that's implied in what you said. That John's strength, skills, and willingness to use them in defence of the people he cares about doesn't make you frightened for your own safety, because it's John, and because it's you.

I hope you guys have managed to talk this through? Or are in the process of talking it through?

pandabob said...

How goes work today Greg? I hope some sleep was had in your house last night!

The original context of what you said about John in this post was in some ways a nice thing for you to say but you probably could have done without some of your comments last night! (sorry for butting)

I hope you're ok today John and that you have something interesting planned :-)

Anonymous said...

OMG did u just disagree with Lestrade?

Honestly Lestrade some of those comments look like your trying to get a reaction out of John, if u want to see what he can do go to class with him n join in, controlled combat might be good for u both, but don't mess with his head.



John H. D. Watson said...

L - sorry, I didn't see that comment had double posted and I don't actually know how it did, it was only meant to be there earlier, where it is the first time.

Greg Lestrade said...

I guessed.

Sorry if I was messing with your head.

John H. D. Watson said...

You weren't, love. You're fine, don't worry.

REReader said...

And how about you, John?

pandabob said...

Me anon? I don't think I disagreed with Greg anymore than I normally do ;-)


Anonymous said...

Wow. I can see why this is something Greg would want to have out there as a possible discussion topic...I mean, he's been a victim of domestic violence in the past, and he's about to marry someone who happens to be extremely good at hurting people. I can equally see why John would feel pretty sick at the idea that it's even in the realm of anyone's imagination that Lestrade would need to protect himself from him EVER.

I can't remember if Lestrade has ever been to see Dr E with John but maybe this is a discussion that she might be able to help with mediating?? Just a thought. I know you'll work it out, guys, but this sounds like a tough one. <3

Greg Lestrade said...

No, ive never been to see Dr E.

But I would, with John, if he thought she could help.

Anonymous said...

Anon above: I apologize for the way I phrased my comment, though. That wasn't a good choice of words to describe the situation, and I'm sorry if it caused anyone here pain.

Greg Lestrade said...

OMG Anon, a few comments up - yeah, I was trying to get a reaction out of John, if I'm honest. We've discussed before how we react to difficult situations. I do better to get a reaction and work with it. John prefers to .. Do what he does, and I guess think it through more on his own. They're not very compatible coping mechanisms, but we try to work with each other, on the end bits just not very easy, especially at first, when we're both just reacting to a situation.

Or that's how I see it, anyway.

John H. D. Watson said...

I've just been trying to think where you got the idea that I like being seen...that way. Because you've said similar things before. But to answer more clearly, no, I don't, and especially not by you.

Greg Lestrade said...

I don't know. Maybe it's not you, maybe it's all my insecurities and I'm just seeing completely skewed because of them.

pandabob said...

do you think maybe somewhere inside your head you want someone who can 'look after you' Greg? I can understand why you might and that may be affecting how you view John (note though that I'm not suggesting you need someone to look after you)

pandabob said...

I sort of feel I should clarify that I mean wanting someone who can 'look after you' in the same way a parachutist needs an emergency parachute, no real need for it but it settles the nerves ;-)

Anyway I’ll bugger off now and stop asking stupid questions, have a good evening.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry, I didn't answer because I didn't knwo what tos ay. and now i'm in the middle of the supermarket. it wasn't a stupid quesiton.

pandabob said...

Sorry, that wasn't a nudge Greg, you don't have to answer I just wanted it to be clear what I meant.

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - I still don't really know how to put it into words. But no, I really really don't want someone to look after me in any sort of...well, any way when it could be about any sort of physical violence. I mean...sorry, it's hard to explain, but that's something I actually have oddly strong feelings about. Like, even when people here suggest I need help, I resent it. Which is stupid, because - well, it's help. And we all need that sometimes.

But I wouldn't refuse it to a stupid extent. When we met, John took the lead - I protested, but not for long. He had the training, the skills. I didn't. It would have been idiotic for me to try to overrule him.


And although I tease him about it, I do love the little things John does to look after me. Putting snacks in my bag, and just...little things like that. Just knowing he cares like that - like, to think ahead, and do that, or bring me coffee, or come and see me at work and get me out of the office for a bit. I love all that, because it shows me he really thinks about the things that would make me feel better during the day. And, you know, it's all helping my wellbeing, but...I can't explain why that's okay in my mind, but it is.

pandabob said...

I think I get what you mean Greg, I think the bit But I wouldn't refuse it to a stupid extent was where my thinking was really not that you actively want someone to protect you.

I hate people who tell me I need help with something and I try not to do it to other people (I fail often I am sure) but its totally understandable that you feel like that.

Being cared for by someone who loves you is a completely different thing to being helped because its a two way street :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

I think we all fail to be our ideal selves, probably quite a lot of the time. All have double standards - unintentionally. But you still need to have that goal up there, to aim for, right?

Piplover said...

As someone who was in a bad relationship and has the scars to prove it, and as someone who devoted her life to protecting others, even for a short period of time, I can understand both sides.

A part of me gets annoyed when people try to protect me or coddle me. I've been independent a very long time, and I'm used to doing things for myself. I have to remind myself that I would probably offer the person the very same help if our roles were reversed, and it's not a sign of weakness or them condescending to me.

On the other hand, I have the training and the experience to protect those around me. I may not be as strong as I was or able to do a lot of the activities, but I still have the knowledge. And that's a responsibility I took on and will have the rest of my life. Even if it just means taking care of those I love.

I see a lot of that in John, though I'm probably projecting. It just seems, with him, his ability to do Krav Maga and fire a weapon isn't about showboating or doing it to be hard. He does it because he's been trained, and much like when you don't practice an instrument for a long time, you forget and can't play your favorite song. You have to keep training yourself so you can protect yourself and others you love.

John H. D. Watson said...

Pip - yeah. Never really occurred to me it could be taken another way. It's just...something I can do. And if I do it, other people don't have to.

Greg Lestrade said...

Like I said, it's probably just me seeing it all wrong. Forget I said anything. I don't want you to change, it was just...an observation. And a stupid thing to say. I didn't think through how you might feel, clearly.

Anonymous said...

I can't say I like it when you guys feel bad about saying something , but it's reassuring in a stupid way because you making mistakes makes me feel better about me doing it it makes you human and not just words on a screen. anyway perfect is boring.

Unknown said...

I read the article L linked to in the original blog entry above. What it made me wonder (since I know very little about the military, here or elsewhere) is, do returning soldiers get any real training around that transition back to civilian life, the way they do at the other end, coming into the military? Obviously one needs plenty of training to become a soldier... but it seems like they'd need some kind of different training to go back to being a civilian too, and more than just "here's the phone number of a therapist if you want to talk about something".

Also, not to belabor something you two have by now put to rest, but the other thing this all made me think of, is the bit in the Lord of the Rings, in the chapter The White Rider (in The Two Towers) where Gandalf reminds Gimli that yes Fangorn Forest is dangerous, and so are all his companions, and he is too. But the point he's making is, that dangerousness is first tempered with wisdom and kindness, and second, it's only directed at real threats.
S

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