Things and Stuff.
(Forgive me if it's not very good. I'll re-read it when I've slept.)
You make stuff and things, the food of kings, and I love it,
Stuff that's baked and things in cakes and I love it,
I just like the stuff you make, mmm
Don't you change the things you bake, mmm
You make stew in a pot, with that stuff you got and I love it,
There's soup on the hob when you finish the job and I love it,
I just like the stuff you make, mmm
Don't you change the things you bake, mmm.
When you stir things up, or make cake in a cup I love it,
When you mix up some stuff, there's never enough and I love it,
I just like the stuff you make, mmm
Don't you change the things you bake, mmm
Only time can tell if stuff will turn out well, and I love it,
Some things burn but how else will we learn and I love it,
I just like the stuff you make, mmm
Don't you change the things you bake, mmm.
John's some sort of utterly wonderous being, and packed me snacks and coffee and all sorts in my bag for tonight. Which has ranked up in the top ten of boring obbos.
Bloke who (finally) turned up from drugs is nice though. Very down to earth. Supports Liverpool, but no one's perfect. A DS, few years younger than me.
He told me he 'thinks' the DC who was meant to be here got 'frightened off' because word got around I was gay. And who wants to spend the night in a deserted flat with a gay DI, who'll clearly be desperate to jump you for a quick shag? (Danger, dont answer that.) Not like it could ever be proved that was the case. Apparently he's just 'ill'. To be fair (which I am too much, apparently) it sounds like some other were really winding him up about it, it's not like he just came to that conclusion alone. He's quite new on their team, the DS says, still a bit green, so others thought they'd make a big thing of it.
Just want to go home and sleep now.
99 comments:
If course, he could also be genuinely ill.
Brilliant :-) (the song I mean)
Lets believe the DC is ill that's by far the easiest to deal with :-) gjad the Peron who came was good company.
Careful getting home when the time comes :-)
Anony
Greg - I hope you're safely on your way home to a warm bed and loving arms. (Well, Sherlock might be clingy, but he adores you just the same. ^.^)
I hope the DC gets well soon, and has faith in his fellow officers. I mean, really, it can't possibly be inconspicuous to be...trysting in a car. (I can't believe I just wrote that...) I'm happy to hear that you avoided any coffee mishaps and your eventual companion was good company.
Off to bed and a sleep in! Wheee!
~A from NW
Hope you're asleep somewhere comfy Greg :-)
I hope you have a nice day with John Sherlock I'm sure you can come up with some great adventures for the two of you :-)
Anony
Just going to bed.
A - we're using an empty flat, not a car. Bit obvious, sitting in a car.
sounds like a frustrating night. Did you at least get some good information?
The song is wonderful. A good addition to our set list. Although seeing the screenshot on the YouTube video is frozen on "knocked up by Jim Les and Noddy Holder" raises some interesting biological questions...
Hope you get at least some rest today. :)
packed me snacks and coffee and all sorts
Also, please define "all sorts." Because if it's not something to eat, and not something to drink...
Loving the song :-)
*headdesk* the attitude from some of your colleagues. And without wishing to sound sexist, I do find the the "of course he'll want to shag me!" attitude depressingly common among straight men. But John does like to look after you, doesn't he? Greater love hath no man than he packs snacks and coffee and all sorts for his partner who's on an all night obbo :-)
Hope you get a decent amount of sleep; presumably an afternoon of relaxing and napping and a bit of shouting in front of the rugby awaits?
Have slept.
John's been supervising Sherlock making a mother's day card. There's a lot of glitter...
DW - I hope the info will prove to be useful. 'All sorts' obviously includes a picture of Danger himself, in his underwear modelling days, pulling a saucy pose. What else?
Nameless - It really does sound like he would have been fine until everyone started giving him hassle.
And it's not just because I'm gay - I mean, in this case, it is, but Sal used to get grief off people when she and I were out together, and everyone thought I was straight. She just dealt with it in her own special way... sounds like this kid was an easy target and didn't know how to deal with it.
Enjoying the rugby right now. All the more so because we're winning. For now.
Mothers day cards require glitter I'd cry all day if there was no glitter on my card tomorrow ;-)
I hope the young DC can find someone to talk to if he's been getting grief for working with you. It's likely he was actually ill yesterday caused by the worry of what people would say after :-( it's horrid for you but I kind of feel sorry for him to.
Hope you enjoy the rugby :-)
Anony
Ah. I don't know how the Doc expected a picture like that to make time go by more quickly...
One word about that DC: leadership. Leaders set the tone of their organizations.
Anony - I've never met him, so he hasn't ever worked with me. We're only working with this team because our investigations collided. I do vaguely know one or two of them from way back, but not most of them.
TRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! :)
I am, as ever, impressed by your song-writing abilities. Ha.
Also, for anyone who might be new here, I just feel the need to point out in case there was any doubt: I was never an underwear model.
And as for the DC, I hope he was genuinely ill because otherwise I fear for the intelligence of the people they're hiring these days.
I'm deeply impressed by your Mother's Day card making supervisory abilities.
Did you make your mum a card earlier in the week?
I can assure you that you've been an underwear model in my dreams.
No idea about the DC, and he's not scheduled on tonight, so I probably won't ever meet him.
It's easier to be horrible about people you don't really know and they could tell any stories they liked and the DC wouldn't know that actually you're the nicest DI in the world :-)
It's so nice lo watch rugby for a change instead of getting updates here while I'm sat in a car :-) enjoy.
Anony
My job is easy; you're the one who'll be cleaning up the glitter later...
No, but I did send her one, sans glitter. Sherlock said he might make her one too after his mum's is done. Not sure whether I hope decides to or not.
I'll alert the EU that there will be a Europe-wide glitter shortage, and factories should go on overtime.
I'm sure she'd like it...wouldn't she?
Probably? Yeah. Probably.
COme on Italy, finish it!!
YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Go Italia!!!
Worth getting up for that Greg :-)
Anony
Definitely!
Nice not to lose EVERYTHING. That was a messy game though.
The sign of a good side is winning a bad game or atleast that's what they try and make you believe ;-)
Anony
I'm watching England vs Ireland now. It's the only game the BBCA is showing. Why am I on the wrong side of the pond?
Hooray for Wales!
I used to work with men who were of the same opinion as those you mention - "we're all in danger of being jumped by the gay". I used to counter with "so that makes me in danger whenever I work with you then?" which tended to shut them up.
Had fun playing "spot the police" whilst in London: City of London policeman in a helmet, river police, mounted police, several constables outside Embankment station, together with the sign warning about pickpockets firmly chained to the railings.
Yep, Wales played a blinder.
Your countering sounds like Sal's, only far ... less swearing. And more polite. And possibly less comparison of all their genitalia to tiny things. Or threats against the same.
She does have a way with words...
Hope you didn't check your pocket/bag when you saw the sign!
When I was just a young copper I did toy with the idea of mounted police. I mean, I couldn't ride, but being traffic was the only way I could have got a bike, and traffic sounded pretty boring. So I thought mounted might be the next best thing.
But then my head was turned by the glamour of CID...yeah.
the sign warning about pickpockets firmly chained to the railings.
I know what you meant obviously, but this still gave me an amusing image of pickpockets chained firmly to railings and straining to reach people's pockets.
Right. Not long til I have to go back to work.
Any song requests?
Just heard about the Spurs/Bolton game. Jesus. I hope Muamba's all right. Sounds very serious.
Bloody horrible thing that :-( these things just shouldn't happen!
Hope work treats you well Greg :-)
Anony
Dogs'n'Sprogs?
(Are you going to collate these at some point? There's been so many brilliant songs written by everyone)
SH - I was in London earlier this week, didn't see anywhere near as many different coppers as you :-( Note to self: try harder next time.
God, just caught up on what's happened at White Hart Lane. Bloody hell.
Dogs'n'Sprogs it is.
And yes, we'll collate them, and see if Sherlock will provide artwork.
I can tell you a sure way of meeting lots of coppers, Nameless...if you want.
And I'm at the obbo, with a nice DC called Amy. She clearly knows what happened last night as her greeting to me was: "I'm afraid I'm straight, but I promise I won't try and jump you, okay? I can just about contain myself, usually."
I think we're going to get along.
As for the footy - it's just terrible. I really hope he's okay, but it didn't sound good, did it?
Glad you have a lovely DC to keep you company tonight and one with such an outlook on things ;-)
Muamba does not sound good but I guess we just have to pray for him and hope.
Anony
I showed her the picture of John in his saucy underwear model pose. She concedes she can't compete. All is well.
She also knows Yellow Car.
Danger, get an ice pack ready for my return. I may be bruised.
I can just about contain myself, usually
Funny, that's how I feel around you too...
Ha. You may be bruised, but at least you won't be bored.
Greg - I thought you were in an empty flat. Watching people.... Oh, wait, Yellow Car requires a bit of friendly punching, doesn't it?
Have fun! :D
(And yay for a DC with a positive attitude and a good sense of humor.)
~A from NW
You sound so much happier than yesterday, whether it be having company or actually having some sleep, I hope you stay that way till morning :-)
I'm looking forward to a new song by morning so don't play yellow car all night will you ;-)
Anony
Got slightly less sleep than intended, as the rugby was distracting me.
There really aren't that many yellow cars. Or cars at all, in this bit of the estate.
Funny, that's how I feel around you too...
I very much like the way you feel me. Around me, I mean.
I notice you don't mind that I showed her the picture you claim doesn't exist...
That's because it doesn't exist, so you couldn't have really shown it to her.
Oh, this isn't the photograph, which obviously doesn't exist.
This is the picture I drew. Which does. :)
Lestrade!
...No, I don't believe you. If any such drawing existed you would've posted it by now.
That offer would be more tempting if I didn't think it involved getting arrested :-)
Has Amy read your blog? Has she seen you in your saucy underwear modelling pose?
Hmm, a full-surname scolding.
Maz still trumps you with her full-name-including-the-middle-ones scolding the other day.
And THAT John Hamish Danger Watson, is a challenge if ever I heard one. It's dangerous to challenge a man who's destined to spend 12 long boring hours on obs.
You haven't done anything to deserve all your middle names. Yet.
Rugby is a worthwhile distraction from sleep but if you haven't had much please be careful with yourself :-)
Nameless - I'm not sure even a DC with the outlook Amy seems to have need introducing to the wild world of Lestrade and Danger although it might make her think twice about the offer of a coffee in the early hours ;-)
Anony
You severely over-estimate my generosity. I don't offer anyone my coffee.
Danger - I'll have to post the picture when I post the new song lyrics. Can't work out how to put it in comments.
I can almost believe that :-) when it comes to your coffee anyway ;-)
Anony
Just read an update that Muamba is stable now. I'm glad they called the game, and hope he continues to recover.
Just saw that too Piplover, It sound more hopeful for him but it puts things in perspective when things like this happen.
Anony
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
Innie just commented on Danger's blog that Federicorn is playing tennis. No wonder he wasn't so sad I was going to work ;)
Also, for anyone who might be new here, I just feel the need to point out in case there was any doubt: I was never an underwear model. Oh, but you offered, John! Right here, in one of your blogs (can't remember which)!
Lestrade, maybe Danger just needs some really glittery underwear to lure him out of retirement!
Bum chums, Danger? ;)
http://www.bum-chums.com/shop/index.php/catalog/product/gallery/id/56/image/294/
OMG Greg you are never going to persuade Danger into them but I suppose that doesn't stop your imagination or your drawing ;-)
Anony
L - I assume that was a suggestion as to what you'd like for your birthday?
What an earth has that model got in there? It looks like an apple, and I'm sure nothing that's supposed to be in a pair of men's underpants should look like an apple...
(Me, I suspect they are the company's first foray into umm... enhancement products, and they just copied the Wonderbra. That or the guy is a serious Madonna fan)
Danger - prefer the blue ones.
Rider - as long as it doesn't look like an apple once it's out of the underwear...
I think the cut of them is rather limiting to were else it could all go. Doesn't look very comfy. Bet you had to wear some uncomfy things, huh, Danger?
Style over comfort, thats and underware models life!
Are you getting much useful done tonight Greg or are you leaving the real work to your lovely DC? ;-)
Anony
same as last night. writing things down, photographing, filming.
counted 8 different crimes so far. None of which we can pursue at the moment.
8 crimes in three and a half hours!! I hope you can see a long way or you must really be somewhere unsavory :-(
Night shift should involve more than sitting around looking at things, that is no way to stay awake.
Anony
Bet you had to wear some uncomfy things, huh, Danger?
Constantly. High fashion underwear isn't know for its comfort. Which is why all of mine are so plain now.
Most of them fairly minor.
Car being driven without insurance or tax, a couple of people pissing in the street, some social disorder, some graffiti, a couple of drugs deals... usual sorts of stuff.
I'm REALLY spoiling you lot tonight.
song lyrics, videos, and THAT picture now up in a new entry...
(Danger, Amy says she wishes she could see your face. I don't know if she means in the picture or when you see it...)
some graffiti
I read that as "some giraffe". It's turning into a full-blown menagerie around here.
Hiding this one over here, since I'm not quite sure about it. It's a bit....squishy, I guess.
To "Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo" by Tracy Bird
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z16jVKrk2s
Armadillo Head Gear
I walked in on an odd conversation
Not really sure what the comments were ‘bout
But I jumped in with this lot with no hesitation
And learned real quick what they meant
Sayin’ head gear on an armadillo
I’m pretty sure they don’t mean a hat
But I suppose when it comes to the dillo
Everyone has their own thoughts on that
Some armadillos jump when prodded
And some require a more gentle stroke
Some of them like to have one kind of partner
But some of them find they like girls and blokes
So it’s no fez on my armadillo
I just think he looks neat that way
Yes sir, no helmet on my armadillo
People just have to get used to that way
There’ll be no bills and no brims
Let alone a checked hat from a cop
I said no bowlers and no gats
I like my dillo to roam wild and free
There is no cover on my armadillo
I’m pretty sure that Doc thinks its best
I’ll be free range with my armadillo
Called very charming by all of my guests
I said no head gear for my armadillo… (repeat)
Thoughts? Should I scrap it and start again?
Why would you scrap it?? It's great!
I'm not sure I even know what we mean by headgear anymore though!! (I know where the armadillos came from. Just not the headgear.)
Ha! Brilliant and hilarious, DW.
Lestrade, you're the one who made the comment about American vs. European armadillos and whether one was more likely to...have scales that extended the full length of the body or stopped at a point somewhere south of the head. That is, if the armadillo in question has its head covered or not.
Right! that's what I thought we all meant :) Or at least some of us meant.
I can't think of a worse sentence to write than 'both John and I, being European Armadillos, do indeed have full-length scales...'
Well, I can think of plenty of worse sentences, but none that are relevant :)
DW that's great, once again I am in awe :-)
I can't believe you had to ask what headgear we were talking about L, even at this time of day ;-)
Anony
both John and I, being European Armadillos, do indeed have full-length scales...'
That can never be unlearned. I think you just copied over the remnants of Astronautical Engineering.
I was just checking! Partly because the song rather...lacks in headgear. That's all! And then I thought we might not be talking about the same thing, and DW might be thinking of the sort of headgear that comes in packs of three, ribbed, flavoured and possibly lubricated...
the sort of headgear that comes in packs of three, ribbed, flavoured and possibly lubricated...
Reese's peanut butter cups come in packs of two, silly.
(I must admit I'd thought of that as a possibility, as well. But I took a chance...)
that kind of head gear comes in packs bigger than three or so I've heard ;-)
Here's a question for you Greg, if you buy a bloke whiskey flavoured 'head gear' are they a present for him or a present for you? I was having a debate with someone (if I said it was my mother you would get a very strange idea about me I think) and we couldn't decide what they right answer was ;-)
Anony
DW - brilliant. Again :-)
Lestrade - that's... good to know. Or something :-p
Anony - that would depend on things.
Do you like whiskey flavoured head gear?
If you do, does this increase the likelihood of you deciding you'd like to...sample a whiskey flavoured armadillo over a naturally flavoured armadillo?
Would he be appreciative of such sampling?
Or, if it really is a present just for him, you'd better hope he likes whiskey flavoured things and is really flexible...
Being a whiskey loves myself is what made it hard to decide if they would be a present for him or me but I guess sometimes the best presents are those you can enjoy together ;-)
Don't you need to have ribs removed to do it yourself? Or can some people really do that!!
Anony
Some people can really do that.
Some people can really do that. You just need to be moderately flexible and...well proportioned.
I'm not so much for DIY myself. Rather have a helping hand. It's just a bit nicer with company. ;)
we must stop meeting like this, John Hamish...
Just providing information...
I'm clearly over-tired.
I laughed. Amy asked what was funny, I replied "auto-fellatio".
She looked at me, clearly waiting for some sort of punchline, and then burst out laughing too.
Why am I so honest...?
Well it is pretty funny!
I don't know, but I love that you are.
Why am I so honest...?
Better than the alternative, no?
Also, how were the both of you so quick to have an answer for that? Hmmmmmmmm?
she said she's laughing at the thought of me being done for sexual harassment to her, after last night.
I pointed out that auto-fellatio sort of meant i'd have to be done for sexual harassment of myself, or something...
she's laughing so much now that the binoculars and cameras are shaking. this conversation is ruining this obbo.
Thanks for the info both of you ;-)
Honesty's good but its a good job you have a DC Amy with you tonight not some shrinking violet or you may traumatise then for life ;-)
Anony
It's keeping you awake though!
*blinks*
What an...interesting conversation to come back to...
(If anyone remembers that far back in the posts--great songs, everyone!)
Sorry :-( I'll keep my questions to myself from now on or atleast wait until you're not trying to do a very serious job ;-)
You are having more fun than a normal night shift though you can't deny it ;-)
Anony
yes, undeniably the thought of sexually harassing myself is keeping me awake.
Anony, you're welcome to ask any question, anytime.
Amy tells me she thinks the Purple Pervert could do it, by the way. but it might be an urban myth.
Are you sure she doesn't already read the blogs? Because it sounds like she'd fit right in...
That is a very dangerous thing to say Greg ;-)
Amy would fit in very well around here I think :-)
Hope your camera has stopped shaking ;-)
Anony
don't know what you mean. I've never met her before and we're stuck in a darkened room talking about sexual practices.
no, you're right. she would.
how's Federericorn doing? or can't you say, in case you jinx him?
Just won!! Bloody rain delay one point before he won, but it let up and he did it!
Brilliant!
I'm now picturing you dancing around the living room waving your underwear around above your head in celebration. Wearing nowt but a smile :)
Only 5 hours until i can see your lovely smile for myself again
:)
It's a worthy substitute. But not as good as the real thing.
4 hrs 10 mins
Am on watching duty now. Shouldnt be commenting.
Then stoppp. I'll even go to sleep, or at least attempt to. Good night, love.
Nearly there.
Hope you're sleeping.
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