I've always been a coward, And I don't know what's good for me

There was an article on the Beeb this week. It made me think.

There's this woman I know, Daisy. She's about sixty now. She likes her fashion, always dresses nicely, does her hair with clips. She's from the North, originally, around Liverpool, but she's lived in London since she was in her mid-twenties. When she was five or six she broke her leg, but got it all sorted. She's got kids, but I've never met them.

And there's Roger. He was in the Navy for years, before he came to London. He's nearly 80. He got tattoos, when he travelled the globe with the Navy. He was born in India, spent some of his childhood there, before moving to the UK. Then he was in the WestCountry - Bristol area - until he joined the Navy. Maybe that's why he joined, seeing the people working in the docks there. I don't know anything about his family.

Neither of them have ever met me. I don't know what either of them looked like. They're two of 'my' unidentified corpses.

Daisy had a hairclip with a daisy on it in her hair when we found her. Roger has a jolly roger tattoo. I don't know their real names, and I don't know where their families are. I don't know if someone is missing them, wondering about them.

I do know we'll never stop looking for their killers.


On a happier note, I've done my 2 day refresher, which was horrible as ever, but still, all done now, signed off for another year. It's so stressful doing it all when it's not real but in a way I think it would be easier when something was actually going on, because there are more people and more things going on.


And on a much much happier note, Mycroft has indeed been successful in his university application, but I've been forbidden on saying anything more. And he's also gone for this perfect summer job, which I really hope he'll get - his housemaster has written him a glowing recommendation.

And Sherlock has some VERY exciting news too - his school are taking part in a live talk to Major Tim on the space station! They have to think of some questions to ask him about Space, and then they get to talk to him on the radio.


I shall miss the team I've been working with on Child Protection - they're fantastic. You have to have the right sort of personality to work in that kind of environment. We had a lot of laughs, whilst doing a lot of very harrowing work. I'm glad I did it, but I'm also very glad to be back with the MITs.

And on a final note...humans think they're so great, don't they, with their thumbs and gadgets and jobs and motorbikes...yet Maf gets fed, watered, cuddled, stroked and still fits in a long sleep... I might cut my thumbs off...

A million shards of glass, That haunt me from my past

Well...so much to talk about.

Firstly, here's the place John took me away to:

It was lovely, so peaceful, lovely walks together, ending in cosy pubs. Wonderful views.


And here's part of Sherlock's birthday weekend - the climbing place we went to. It was great, they were so helpful. I think Mycroft is contemplating joining a club at University, so might go a few more times to get a feel for it.

And finally, the game!

It was great - lovely atmosphere. The crowds at Rugby are notoriously good natured. Even though about 90% of the crowd were All Black supporters, the biggest cheer of the night went up when Namibia scored a try.

The other day, when Japan beat the Boks, down in Brighton, the Bok supporters formed a guard of honour when the train arrived back to London, to allow the Blossom supporters to go through the barriers first - that shows how nice Rugby crowds are, compared to football crowds, where someone would probably have been stabbed and a huge fight would've broken out.


Anyway, all that just goes to show what an amazingly fortunate man I am, to have such wonderful people around me to share so much fun and love with every day. Which is something I'm not going to see so much of in the coming weeks...once I've handed over to Sal and Dimmo I'll be off to CP, with all the misery that involves. However, much like any serious crimes, the victory of getting a conviction and getting someone off the streets and where they can't harm anyone will be very very welcome. The team there are amazing. Dedicated officers who work their arses off doing a very very difficult job, day in day out, because they care so much.

Now, Sherlock wants bacon and avocado for lunch, and the degus need their weekly health check up and bath and to stop trying to burrow up my sleeve.

(And what does everyone think of the new Bond theme....I'm not a fan, I've got to say.)

It was Christmas Eve babe, In the drunk tank

Well, I'm still alive, if not functioning correctly. And obviously at work, so this is quick. I'm going to get back to it at home and put a few nice songs on it, to give you all a festive kick up the arse. I refuse to be drawn as to whether I sun any of the songs last night...

Speaking of, it was a nice night last night. Always good when teams get along and can have a nice time socially. And obviously I'm a very generous boss ;) (and won't let them forget it).

Sherlock glowered at me a bit this morning. Probably because I was home so late last night (I don't actually know what time I got home, to be honest. Just that John was still awake.) Or possibly because I completely messed up his breakfast. Probably both.

We've picked up another stray for Christmas Day - DI Dimmock - Dimmo, he's working the nightshift on Christmas Eve, so I've invited him around to partake in some eating in the afternoon. Otherwise it's a bit of a miserable day!

I'm off tomorrow, then it's the long run in until I'm off on the day itself :)

The tree is remarkably intact (more than can be said for my thought process), and Maf doesn't seem too interested in it, although she is when the baubles are knocked by a passing hound, or when tinsel is dangled for her. When you tie tinsel to a dog's collar, as we discovered the other day, a huge fight ensues... so we won't be doing that again. Dog's clearly don't differentiate between having their festive collars attacked and being under attack themselves.

I'm going to have to stop there as this screen is far too bright. But I really will come back and put some music on here asap.

Mycroft has just had to remind me to return and put up promised music...

Three songs I enjoy at this time of year, for quite different reasons:

Oblivious to all of us, The child that grows inside

If anyone's missing any tinsel, we've got it. Yeah, and the entire tinsel supply for every shop in the UK. And abroad.

John caught me having a sniff earlier. There's tinsel that smells, and tinsel that doesn't...obviously the stuff that does is best! (We have some of each.)

I have spent this afternoon teaching Sherlock to plait with tinsel. Nicky, all those hours plaiting your hair for school weren't wasted!

I think it has something to do with our wreath-to-be for our door. But who knows. Maybe we just need to be combining three into one or we'll never use it all.


I am removing John from these mean streets next weekend. Bit of a bike ride, some champagne, some relaxing, some...never you mind, and, eventually, sadly, I'll have to bring him back to finally ramp up to Christmas!

I'm always beset by worries that places won't be good enough. But with John, I'm...well, just the fact we're there together is what matters. Which still amazes me. I mean, that...anything can feel like that. Taken me a long time to realise that I've always judged myself very harshly because I wanted to get there first, before someone else did. Didn't...well, I didn't even know people like him existed, or I'd've tried to find one sooner ;)


Mycroft has asked if I'd like to escape the Christmas chaos at some point and go floating again. We've both been given half price floats, so...I probably will. They say it's more relaxing the second time, so, well, we'll see. I'd probably pay double to lock myself in a room alone by the end of Christmas, so half price is definitely a bargain!


Nights were...well, nights. First one was fairly boring. Following someone around. We learnt things about him. But...well, not as useful as it could have been. We'll see. It's given us things to think about.

Last night started with paperwork, ended with a dead body. (Not because of the paperwork.)


Received a text from Sal earlier. "See on the news your love-child hasn't fallen far from the tree." This is because they have this crazy idea in the office that Tom Daley looks like me, and is my love child (I must have missed the act that led to that). Anyway, he's far better looking than I am!


John bought me a lovely shirt today. Not for work, just casual. Makes me look almost presentable.

For the next three weeks I went huntin' them nights

After non-stop pestering from people at work today to play the guitar, I finally did tonight - but not for them. Just for the regulars in the pub and John.

It went pretty well. Not perfectly - I'm a good deal short of perfect right now, but well enough that people seemed to like it.

I'd instructed John to do nothing whilst listening. Which he failed to do. He was performing all sorts of breathing and blinking type things, and talked to people, and jiggled his foot in time, and ...well, the list could go on and on. Plus his usual glares were absent and he looked all soppy. Terrible behaviour.

Anyway, with a few months more practice I think I might be ready for the wedding.

Light The Fire And Walk Away

It's still sinking in, this whole engagement thing. My office has now been cleared of all hearts, except one I've stuck on the drawer of my desk. Sort of reminds me, as if I could forget.

Just...feels amazing. I know lots of people don't like the idea of changing names or wearing rings, because they're symbols of days when it signalled ownership, not partnership. But I've always been the opposite. I really want the symbol...to show someone wants me, I suppose.

Bryan didn't wear his ring. Ever, really. A few times, I suppose, early on, then it went into a drawer. I didn't really mind, I suppose. His choice. Although now I think it might have been for other reasons...

I'm doing this a lot. Thinking about the first time around. Trying not to feel...guilty, about the fact I'm thinking about it. I mean, it's natural, right? Doesn't feel like I should be doing it, but...yeah. Can't really help it.

Sherlock's still full of questions. He texted me earlier to say we should get married in an old court - he's found a place, apparently. I'm not sure where we'll go for. I quite like the idea of outside, but I don't know ho practical that is.

All that really matters is that it happens :)

Sally found one of message pads on my desk earlier, that I'd been doodling hearts on. She says I'm disgustingly happy. And Mrs H found me giving John a kiss goodbye at the front door this morning (him still in his pyjamas) and called us 'indecently happy'.

So I guess everyone's noticing we're happy :)

This entry is studiously not about the Met selling New Scotland Yard and scattering us all over the city. Because.

I emptied every bottle when I poured I never missed, Had bloodshot eyes at twenty five, or was it twenty six.

Today was great fun.

Sally and her sister dropped off the kids, gave us quick lessons in bottles, nappies, how long naps were for/what times, essential teddy bears, that sort of thing. There were a few tears when they left - as we'd been warned there would be, but some swift distractions and we were all good again.

Sherlock looked slightly horrified.

But we had a great day - some of which is catalogued on Danger's Post. And it was sort of hard to let them go - although Sherlock didn't think so.

So, as a result of me commenting that the baby had taken a liking to my ear, and that I was glad I didn't still wear earrings, Nameless asked:

would you ever get your ears pierced again? Do you have any other piercings? Ever been tempted/likely to get anything pierced?

And as no one has chosen to ask further questions on Lestallion's Love-In (Which seems to be taking on more titles as the day goes on), I shall answer that.

Twenty-one and strong as I can be, I know what freedom means to me

Today was a real rollercoaster of emotions. We made an arrest on the case - our second. The first was immediate upon discovering the body. This finally meant we believed we were ready to release the body for burial. It's...hard. There aren't many places in the UK that still bury bodies in communal pauper's graves. Some boroughs of London do. I think that might be where that child ends up. None of the relatives seemed in a position to do much else.

All we can do is put them in touch with as many support networks and charities as we know of.

Another case where the law may have been served, but no one feels much better about it.

Anyway... enough of being down.

There was a great call for The Cow in the Pond story that Sally mentioned. How she knows about it I don't know - she was probably still in primary school. Or school, anyway.

So.