15 November 2012

For the next three weeks I went huntin' them nights

After non-stop pestering from people at work today to play the guitar, I finally did tonight - but not for them. Just for the regulars in the pub and John.

It went pretty well. Not perfectly - I'm a good deal short of perfect right now, but well enough that people seemed to like it.

I'd instructed John to do nothing whilst listening. Which he failed to do. He was performing all sorts of breathing and blinking type things, and talked to people, and jiggled his foot in time, and ...well, the list could go on and on. Plus his usual glares were absent and he looked all soppy. Terrible behaviour.

Anyway, with a few months more practice I think I might be ready for the wedding.



John said he was proud watching me - which wasn't a reaction I was expecting. Took me by surprise a bit, him saying that.

Bry and I met through the music, sort of, but...yeah, he didn't like me playing so much. At the time, naively, I suppose I sort of went along with him saying I spent too much time out of the house, and was always tired after work, and even that the job wouldn't be too happy about some of the places I used to play.

But really, he just hated me being the one getting any attention, I think. SO...yeah, really touched that John encouraged me. I'm enjoying it.


In other news, I found this photo, which I thought Sherlock would appreciate:



Those giraffe are entirely made of flowers.


And to continue trying to answer questions:

Here's a question--do you think it's ok to keep secrets, not little secrets but big things, from someone your having a serious relationship with?

You lot don't like asking the easy ones, do you?

I think 'ok' is a very, very difficult thing to pin down. I think it's okay not to tell anyone every little thing about yourself. I think it's okay to want some things to remain private. I think it becomes less okay the more those things could affect another person. But that's still not an absolute... there are things I haven't told John...but which I think he has read between the lines and knows anyway, without me having to come right out and say it. And...the nature of those things means I don't think it's important he knows it for him, but it's better for both of us...

I suppose, you have to weigh up - is your need to not tell more 'important' than their sort of 'right to know'. For instance - and this is extreme - if someone has HIV or AIDs, knows that, and doesn't tell another person and infects them then obviously, that is incredibly serious. If you have...epilepsy, say, and you don't tell your partner, but then suffer a seizure in front of them and they don't know what it is/what to do, then no, it wasn't essential you told them, but it would probably have made life easier for both of you if you had.

So...yeah, think about it, maybe try to put yourself in their shoes. Think about that balance of their need to know versus your need for privacy. It's not easy, but if you're in a serious relationship, I'd hope they would be as understanding as possible about any big secrets you chose to share with them.

Hope that helped a little.

47 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

Better watch out they don't all show up next Thursday. Not that I'd tell them the secret location, of course, but they are detectives...

Greg Lestrade said...

I feel confident in my ability to lose them.

REReader said...

There is one not-nothing thing that John failed to do, unless he's keeping it secret--take some video (or even audio) of you performing! Ah, well. Maybe next time... :D (I bet you'd be just fine at the wedding now. :))

That photo--out of flowers? That is amazing. Really amazing.

And because I already forgot twice--there are a couple of online games that I think Mycroft and Sherlock might be interested in looking at--foldit, which is about folding proteins, and eterna, which is about designing RNA. (No, these are real science. I haven't played them, so I don't know how hard it is, but I read that the top-scoring foldit player is 19, so...)

pandabob said...

John said he was proud watching me - which wasn't a reaction I was expecting. Took me by surprise a bit, him saying that.

Adults don't get told people are proud of them often enough so it is wonderful that John would tell you that :-)

I'm glad it went well for you and that you enjoyed another nice evening together sharing new things which doesn't happen much as relationships get older.

John - save your secret talents for your 10th wedding anniversary it'll be really special to find something new to share then :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, he'd probably have been mugged for his camera/phone if he'd tried.

And yeah, I'd do okay if it was tomorrow, but I wouldn't be happy that I was at my best. And it's their wedding, I want to be the best I can be.

REReader said...

I wouldn't be happy that I was at my best.

I'm sure they'd be happy--but that is really important, too, at least as important. And I bet you will be. :)

And I agree, Anony--adults don't get told people are proud of them enough, even when they feel it, and it is wonderful you said it, John!

John H. D. Watson said...

Breathing and blinking, all right, but soppy??

And that is an amazing picture.

Anonybob - I haven't got any secret talents! Maybe in ten years I can come up with some...

pandabob said...

I'm sure you do John but maybe you're right that you don't know what they are yet ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Danger - it was you sitting there, elbow on the bar...but in my mind I saw this:

http://images.hellokids.com/_uploads/_tiny_galerie/200901/pepe-le-pew-love-source_qa7.gif

And you have lots of secret talents, I'm sure. I will devote the rest of my life to uncovering them, one by one.

John H. D. Watson said...

Well...just...shh! You were really good, that's all. I was just...appreciative.

Greg Lestrade said...

I appreciate your appreciation.

bed? going to try to manage on fewer than 5 mugs of coffee in 3 hours tomorrow...

John H. D. Watson said...

Bed's good, yeah.

Kestrel337 said...

"he just hated me being the one getting any attention,"

I know exactly how you feel. Door number one hated it when people complimented me on anything (which is why I gave up so many things, primarily writing). Current hubster? Couldn't be more encouraging.

John, I often think I haven't any talents. Nurturing is the most hidden of all hidden talents, because it's whole entire goal is to direct the focus away from the one doing it. If those we are nurturing are growing in themselves (as everyone around you seems to be doing)...that's a talent. Of course, that's just my two cents, and may be worth considerably less.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for answering my question. You've given me a lot to think about so yeah, that's good.

Sherlock said...

This is what my bee is going to be like:

http://ridiculouslyinteresting.com/2012/11/13/19th-century-papier-mache-anatomical-bee-and-beetle-models/

and John said we could get books out of the library to help get the insides right and then he and Lestrade have to help me make them, Mrs Hudson said so.

Small Hobbit said...

That bee is impressive Sherlock. I can see that you should have a lot of fun making it.

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - glad you're still reading! Sorry, I meant to say I'd answered on the original post.

So, the election had a massive 15% turn out. Which they think may rise to 18.5%! I presume that'll be because some places had other votes too - parliamentary and mayoral elections.

As for criminals being worried by the PCCs, I can assure you, they're just happy millions have been spent on a stupid election and not on more police officers or resources.

Kestrel - sorry you've been through that too. It just...saps your will, doesn't it? I hope you're doing as well as I think I am to get back to being more confident in your abilities again.

And you're right - John has an amazing ability to care and nurture. More so than anyone else I know. He's astounding. And frequently surprises me with his capacity to care for so many people.

pandabob said...

next time the politicians are complaining about people going on strike on a vote turn out of 30% we'll know what stats to show them!!

I hope work is treating you well Greg and that its not dragging due to excitement for having Mycroft home later :-)

REReader said...

Sherlock, that bee model is just amazing! I'm sure yours will be just as amazing, and you'll do a wonderful job of getting the research just right.

I'm guessing here, but is it that when you and Mrs Hudson were discussing the innards or other parts that you didn't get to last night, she said, "John and Lestrade will have to help you with that"? Because she might quite easily have done so--but that wouldn't mean that they have an obligation to help you, but that she didn't feel she could manage those parts, so you'd have to ask them to help you instead. (It's a confusing way to say it, but that's usually what that phrasing means.)

But there's a really good chance they will help if you do ask them. (I know you've already noticed that when you ask people nicely they want to help more.) And it does look like something that would be fascinating to work on!

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh no, Mrs H knew exactly what she was doing. Hence John calling her devious.

I think a lot of bee-building will take place over the holidays, to keep Sherlock occupied.

REReader said...

Did say I was guessing! (It would have been even more devious to start it without actually saying you two must help him finish...:))

Greg Lestrade said...

It is a good project for him. And John's probably put a few plaster casts on in his time - can't be that different, right??

REReader said...

Sounds right to me! :)

And I recall Sherlock saying bees are his favorites--not to mention that it does look fascinating. Who knew they had so much packed in those tiny furry bodies!

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - just seen at least one polling station had a turnout of zero! What a joke. Why spend millions on this?

Work is dragging a bit. Had a great result yesterday, so now it's paperwork, CPS, court stuff and writing my presentation, plus still have to do my appraisals for some of my team. Can't wait to escape and fetch Mycroft!

pandabob said...

My dad saw more tumbleweed than people yesterday apparently ;-)

Great results sound good. I'm glad you got that! Are you escaping early for mycroft? And out of curiosity is it easier or harder to do other people's appraisals than to write the bit for your own?

REReader said...

Yay for a great result!

Have fun picking up Mycroft, and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Anonymous said...

That bee is very neat, Sherlock. How large will yours be when you're done?

Models are a great way to study something you're interested in, too. There's a museum here in Boston that has a whole collection of models of flowers and grasses and things for studying that were made out of glass.

L, if I could have voted, I would. But I agree with you that it sounds like it was a wretched waste of money and resources. Too bad one of the options was, "keep things the way they have been!".

rsf

Anonymous said...

Er... one of the options wasn't keep things as they were. Apparently I have not yet found enough caffeine...

rsf

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh god just made huge social faux pas

John H. D. Watson said...

What happened?

Greg Lestrade said...

Bloke who used to be a good friend - but who I haven't seen much of in.a while, called to invite me on his stag do.

So, in catching up, I naturally asked after his partner. Who he's been with over ten years... turns out they split up 3 months back. He's marrying his NEW boyfriend. Who he's been with...about 3 months...

He clearly thought I knew.... oops.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh dear...

REReader said...

Well, how were you supposed to know? (But, awkward, yeah.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Well, he knew about John and me...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, but you kind of announced the change to the world here.

rsf

REReader said...

^^^That is very true.

I prescribe cake.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm pretty certain he doesn't read this.

REReader said...

Definitely cake. (With coffee.)

When are you picking up Mycroft?

Greg Lestrade said...

After work, but I'm going to try and get out early and bring some work home.

REReader said...

Soon, then! Have a good ride. :)

Small Hobbit said...

I suspect the whole of the Met knew about you and the Doc.

Greg Lestrade said...

I can assure you most of the Met don't care.

I think Jo gave him my number. I did sort of shut myself off a lot for a while back there. Guess people are just finding out that I'm still alive, still here. He probably thought she kept me up to date with the gossip.

Small Hobbit said...

Hooray, the independent guy (and ex-police officer) was elected in my county. And thank goodness for proportional representation.

SoulEaterMoon said...

L- Introducing myself again. Hello. Wow. Um, that's bad. Somehow I managed to give one of my best friends the impression I didn't like her. Fortunately it was just a misunderstanding. Hope he wasn't too offended

SH-In my county the guy who's been doing a lot of good for us got realected!! And amen to your last sentence.

Greg Lestrade said...

Hello...again.

I don't think he was offended...just very err... defensive. I suppose a lot of people have expressed surprise at such a sudden change.

SH - glad to hear a few people who might have some sense got elected, not just politicians.

Anon Without A Name said...

SH - I'm torn between feeling happy that the non-political candidate got elected, and bad because I've heard some less-than-good stuff about him (including from ex and serving coppers).

Still, we had a massive 17.5% turnout, so that's OK... *eyeroll*

Unknown said...

RSF, thanks for the link to the glass flowers on flickr! I remember my dad taking me to that museum (and others) when I was a kid. I live in Massachusetts, although I grew up closer to Boston than I am now.
S

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