25 November 2012

And your mind, your tiny mind

After breakfast today we walked through the city a bit, discussing the killing room sat Smithfield (used to talk to a bloke who worked there - he said when it was new the killing rooms were 15' square. When he worked there they were 10' square because of all the blood and gore that was never cleaned off the walls - they only sluiced the floors.) Discussed when they used to drive the animals down to the market, through London, alive.

Then ended up near Monument - which none of us had ever climbed before, so we did.



And it was great. (As you can see, this morning we had a nice day...back to rain again now.)


Although the stairs are pretty tight!

And at the top, we were close to the flames (Which Sherlock wished were real...)


For those of you who don't know, the tower is exactly the same height as the distance it is away from the point at which the fire of London started. And the view from the top was pretty good too. I think John has a shot or two from up there.

It was pretty windy at the top, but well worth it. Could see all the landmarks - The Shard, The Gherkin, The Eye.

And this evening we've made the Christmas pudding. And I've felt vaguely guilty about not going to see Mum. I tell myself the weather down that way is so bad, with everywhere being flooded, that it would be hard to get there. But I could have, if I really wanted to. Think I'm just a bit scared, really.

26 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

Your reluctance is completely understandable. And we can still come with you if you want us to, whatever would be easier for you.

pandabob said...

If you weren't scared you wouldn't be human Greg, that is a perfectly normal reaction to a situation like this as is guilt about anything and everything that surrounds it but you will work it all out in the best way for you in the end.

I'm glad you had good weather for your trip up the monument, it looks really impressive :-)

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a fun trip. I couldn't do it myself, spiral staircases (on the way down) wig me out, so I could only go up if I was planning to live up there!

On the subject of visiting your mother, it's not something to beat yourself up about L. I'm fairly sure the advice is not to drive into flooded areas if you can help it, not because you can't get there but because it's not helpful to the people trying to clear up.

Also visiting people is hard, especially when they are a bit out of it. Sometimes it's better to visit a little later when the nearer relatives are getting tired and when the two of you are more likely to be able to communicate.

My useless advice would be to take John with you even if he doesn't actually visit your mother, I found it was so much better when I was visiting my sister after her heart attack if I just had someone to talk to on the way home.

Remember none of this is your fault.

Lancs. Anon

REReader said...

Just to join everyone else in saying that there's nothing odd or wrong in not being eager to go. You've been, and you'll go again, but you need time for yourself, too, for balance--doesn't help anyone to swamp the lifeboat, yeah?

Greg Lestrade said...

Thanks everyone.

I think there;s a lot of feeling of pressure about visiting family, just because they're family.

REReader said...

Yes.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel, Lestrade. My mom was kind of dying for all of September, and my sister and I lived in her house for about two weeks. We went to the hospital every day, sometimes twice a day, it was pretty awful. (She didn't end up dying though, so silver lining.) But I still go up to her place (about an hour's drive away) about once a week now.

-Oregon Anon

Greg Lestrade said...

Sounds stupid, because it's not the same at all, but can't help but think of the times I've been in hospital and she's never been to see me - which I know isn't the point, because it's far easier for me to see her, but...ah, I don't know. Family's never easy, is it?

Sherlock said...

I'd come and see you if you went again especially if you had a drip and a machine on your heart and one that breathed except I hope you wouldn't need them but if they were there by you that would be good.

pandabob said...

Families are tricky things Greg, you can't live with them and you can't murder them either ;-)

seriously though we all go and see relatives we'd rather not sometimes and get mixed up in things that don't make us happy but we do it for ourselves not for them. Will you feel less guilty and therefore better in yourself if you go and see her? forgetting anything about how it will effect her what will it do for you?

You are a better man than most people I know Greg, we know it and you know it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise :-)

REReader said...

Well...I don't think it's stupid--in a way it is the point, because "easy" isn't supposed to factor in. But in the end, it's more about who you are than what she's done or not done, and it's very hard to argue with that.

And yeah, family is always complicated.

Anon Without A Name said...

I think the worst thing is the sense of obligation; the sense that you owe something to people who - in any other circumstance - you'd just walk away from.

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time of it. I hesitate to offer advice at this point, but... if you need to visit your mum, perhaps a very short visit to her, to see how she is and talk to the doctors, and then maybe a longer catch-up with Nicky? I'm guessing Nicky's taking a lot on herself right now, and would be glad of the company of her big brother (and his fiancé).

REReader said...

(Medical technology is fascinating, Sherlock--and it is much, much better if people you love don't actually need any of it! Good for you for making the distinction. :))

Greg Lestrade said...

Nameless - yeah, I think perhaps John and I can go down and...it seems ridiculous for him not to see her, given he's a doctor. And then see Nicky, maybe Rach again if she's about. Maybe even Sam, if Danny isn't around.

Sherlock said...

If he needed it to keep alive I don't think I'd be able to look at it and see how it worked and what it did and have a go.

piplover said...

Sometimes, when a person is set in their ways, there's nothing that can be done to change them. As sad as it is, the only thing you can do is try to be strong and offer her your help if she wants it.

Remember, though, no relationship is a one way street. It takes effort from both parts, and just because someone is family doesn't give them free reign to treat you like crap or do what they want to you.

It's perfectly natural to want to protect yourself from a situation you know isn't going to be great. Whatever you decide, though, it will be the right choice for you, and that's what matters.

REReader said...

Sherlock--No, that's true. Also, you'd be scared and unhappy and you wouldn't be wanting to just then. So maybe it would be better to work out a way to see the equipment some day when no one needs it, don't you think?

I have a niece that is starting to study to be a doctor, and she volunteers in a small hospital ER once a week so she can see everything. When you are old enough (probably 18, or maybe 16), you might be able to do something like that.

Sherlock said...

does she volunteer to fix people like John did?

Greg Lestrade said...

now trying to imagine the chaos caused by Sherlock 'wanting a go' at things in an A&E dept. - patients would be dragging themselves away, limbs hanging off and internal organs exploding, assuring the other doctors they were fine...

REReader said...

She hasn't learned enough to work on patients herself yet--she's still pre-med, which means she hasn't had and real doctoring training yet--so she helps in the emergency room by helping the doctors and nurses--she carries things, and cleans things, and holds things, and when there's no emergency she asks the doctors what they're doing and why they're doing it, and they tell her, and show her, so she gets to see what everyone does and why and how everything works. (She can do the asking because it's a small suburban hospital and they don't have so very many emergencies as a big city hospital.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Merely the offer of stitches might cause a panic when he gets that gleam in his eye...

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm fairly certain he'd try to persuade everyone he needed blood samples and to try out weird medical tests on them :)

RR - I can't be certain, but I can't imagine you'd be allowed to do that here. I think they'd get touchy about anyone without qualifications being near patients/drugs etc.

REReader said...

I wouldn't have thought they'd allow it here, everyone's so lawsuit happy! But it's apparently a regular program. (And I strongly doubt she touches drugs or patients except as an extra set of hands, under supervision. If you're curious, I could ask her for more detail? We were talking about her experiences this weekend, but more about what she's getting out if it than what she does specifically.)

Small Hobbit said...

I've just been talking to my daughter who's working as a bank care support worker in a local hospital and is doing shifts on A&E, although on a side ward where they keep patients for observation. She seems to be enjoying it - and has signed up for some more shifts there although it doesn't sound as if she's had anything dramatic yet.

Kestrel337 said...

Whoa. People go up inside that? Willingly? Braver souls than mine. But then, I'd hyperventilate until I passed out just riding in the backseat.

Whatever you decide to do about visiting, lots of folks are holding you in their thoughts.

A from NW (back to work. yay.) said...

Greg - I don't think there's a right answer when it comes to family. I always find your ability to be so compassionate and forgiving incredibly inspiring. If/When you go visit, I do second (third, fourth) the suggestion that you have John or Nicky with you, just for the emotional support and everything else. And no matter what anyone else in your blood family might say about you, you have an important job that demands a lot of you, and your commitment to that job in no way diminishes your love as a son for his mother.

Onto happier things: those are some wonderful pictures! I'm always in awe of your photography abilities. :)

Mycroft - This is a late comment, but you are a clever and awesome young man (re: 'Chapel of Love' ringtone)

Mrs. H - I want to be like you when I grow up. ;)

Sherlock - So, how goes the holiday show? Has the script been settled yet? When will auditions be held?

I hope you all have great weeks!

~A from NW (who is now running off to bed)

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