5 November 2012

KHolly asked what I wish someone had told me when I was 7 and 14, that I'm making sure the boys know now...

That's a hard one. I've sort of answered a part of that before, slightly, in regard to relationships.

But otherwise... I think, when I was 14, I probably needed someone to tell me I wasn't an adult. No matter how much I thought I was, or had to be. I wasn't. I was still a child. Albeit with maybe more responsibility than many. I wish someone had told me that. I wish someone had been there so I didn't feel like I had to be responsible. And I hope that Mycroft, now, is only as responsible as he wants to be, and lets John and I help out with all the times he doesn't want to be.

As for being 7...I don't remember that much about being 7. Probably needed telling that I was, actually, a mortal being. And that negotiation was more effective than arguing. But I hope a lot of the advice I'd give myself was completely irrelevant to Sherlock, because his life, is, I hope, very different to mine.


I don't know. I still barely feel qualified to be raising another human being, let alone offering sage advice.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that children absorb sage advice. Not the first three thousand times or so it's repeated anyway.

But I think you are teaching both boys things they need to know. Like cooking for themselves, and folding laundry. Maybe not quite as high falutin', but equally essential.

rsf

REReader said...

You and John are teaching them every day, by example, about the kind of person to be, the kind of things that matter, the kind of things that don't.

I think you're both doing brilliantly.

pandabob said...

The fact you don't feel qualified to do it is what makes you totally qualified, you don't have a book of rules and advice and things to do that you roll out whatever arises, you face every day and every decision with thought and reasoning and focus on the individual circumstances :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

RSF - The basics are far easier to teach than the bigger ideas, for sure.

AnonyBob - I'm sure no one ever feels qualified, right?

And having not slept much last night, I could do with London stopping blowing things up now, and letting me slumber whilest warming my feet on Doctor Hotson.

REReader said...

I hope it quiets down soon for you!

John H. D. Watson said...

Just don't try warming your feet on my feet or together I fear they may reach absolute zero.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, I'll warm your feet with my hands. Or something. You can tuck them under my bum if you want?

pandabob said...

I can't speak for everyone Greg but I've never felt qualified and doubt I ever will I just work on the basis I do everything with the best of intentions and from the basic level of loving them and hope for the best :-)

Good look with warming his feet John I'm sure between you you'll find a way to get warm ;-)

Anonymous said...

You'd be surprised by how many kids don't learn the basics. Well, maybe not. But given that Sherlock and Mycroft are clearly in a financial strata where they could probably hire people to do most things for them, it's actually really good for them to learn how to function without depending on that money always being there. Through you and John, and those basics, they see the value of persistence, and practice, and patience. And that matters tremendously.

rsf

kholly said...

Thanks so much for tackling my question. I've been thinking about it myself as a result and I think the best things I learned at those ages weren't things that people said, but rather that they demonstrated. In terms of what you're hoping the boys learn from you, from what I can see through this weird limited window on your lives they're probably getting what you're hoping for.

Greg Lestrade said...

RSF - not at all surprised, actually. Not from either side of the class divide, either. Although both come down to not having good examples to follow and people willing to spend the time and effort on them.

Kholly - thanks - I hope so!

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, and any more questions, people...keep asking. Sometimes not in the mood for the questions already asked, despite intending to answer them at some point.

Anonymous said...

You make a really valid point there, L. Increasingly primary schools are getting kids who are barely toilet trained because it's quicker and easier for their parents to keep them in nappies. It's the same with eating with a knife and fork. The kids then internalise 'no one can be bothered with me' and sometimes act accordingly. Like you say it's the time and effort thing. I remember talking to a girl at school once who was telling everyone that she was getting £500 for Christmas and all I could think was that she'd be better if someone could be arsed to go and get her a tenth of that in presents on which they had expended time and thought.

Lancs. Anon

Anonymous said...

And on that subject here's a question:

What's the 'best' present you've ever received?

Lancs. Anon

Small Hobbit said...

Another question: if you had all the time etc, what would be your favourite breakfast?

zeph said...

And another question: Is there a culture/and or country out there that you are really interested in or that you would want to visit/learn about?

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