6 November 2012

Something lewd in a low down accent

RSF was rather taken with the word 'tosspot' when I used it to describe someone today.

So I thought we could have a post on slang/favourite words.

Some of mine are unprintable...but a few of my favourites:

wanker, tosspot, bollocks, Oik, pillock, numpty, tosser, sod (as in 'off' or 'it all'). Kholly just reminded me of another - toe-rag. Brilliant.

I feel Brit slang is seriously misunderstood by a lot of Americans. (I have, for instance, been told that 'bloody' is a terrible, terrible word we will be mortally offended by!) so feel free to ask any questions, if you're not a local ;)

In other news - which of these should I get John for Christmas? Or do I just throw caution to the wind and buy both??






Essentially, this combines his two favourite things. Jumpers and tea. If I hold the mug, I might even venture to say that's a winning three-star combo.

And this...which I need to say no more about, really.

I mean...really. I would clearly have to get him a hat to go with, though.

In other news, Sherlock is in a strop with me. One I'm not entirely inclined to do anything about apart from wait it out...


119 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

What's my fault now! It better not be that jumper. I cannot take the blame for that.

Greg Lestrade said...

You completely do need to take the blame for that.

John H. D. Watson said...

Mine wasn't anywhere near that bad!

Kholly said...

The mug is a winner. The jumper is frightening.

My sister-in-law has been known to call people a toe rag and I've never got the nerve up to ask her how offensive that is.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh! You think that's bad?? Hallelujah! He has, under that fluffy knitted exterior, got a glimmer of taste in there - there is hope ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

Toe-rag is a fantastic expression, and yes, one I use. It's really not bad at all. I'd happily call Sherlock a toe-rag if he made stink bombs again. I probably have numerous times in the past. I'll add it to my list! (John is also a toe-rag. Just because.)

John H. D. Watson said...

You are just being deliberately insulting to perfectly nice Christmas jumpers everywhere...

Greg Lestrade said...

I actually worried about you liking it...

John H. D. Watson said...

Toe-rag.

Small Hobbit said...

The mug is great and could easily be used. I suppose the jumper could be used as a degu bed.

Greg Lestrade said...

Wazzock.

(Danger, not you, SH.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Jumper hater.

Greg Lestrade said...

hey, I offered to buy it for you! How is that hating??

John H. D. Watson said...

You still won't admit that jumpers are thermally superior! Although possibly not that one... Anyway, I have a hoodie with a farting unicorn on it, surely that's the lowest my wardrobe needs to go.

Greg Lestrade said...

But what rescues that is that it's a hoodie, you A'peth. :)

John H. D. Watson said...

So if I got you the hoodie version of that jumper, you'd wear it?

zeph said...

I could teach you some nice german cursewords too if you'd like to broaden your repertoire ^.^

Greg Lestrade said...

Only if the hood was covering the scars from my taste-removal-surgery.

I'm not the one who bought your hoodie...

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm not the one who picked it out!

Greg Lestrade said...

Didn't say you were, said you bought it, you plum.

Want to see if Sherlock will be in the same room as me to watch Guy renovate a Victorian pier?

Sherlock said...

I want banana milk

John H. D. Watson said...

...That probably means yes?

Say please, Sherlock, and come downstairs.

Greg Lestrade said...

Do you? And how do you think you might improve your chances of getting some?

Sherlock said...

if i say please are you going to say yes?

Greg Lestrade said...

I can only tell you that if you don't say please, I will definitely say no.

Sherlock said...

I will make it myself. I can make it for you and John too if you want.

Greg Lestrade said...

Seriously? Saying 'please' would be so terrible that you'd rather make it yourself?

(You won't, because the blender has very sharp blades and the top's stiff to put on. But you can help me, if I make it. You can chop the nanas and press the button to blend it.)

Sherlock said...

All right.

Greg Lestrade said...

...

Sherlock said...

Fiiiiine, please can I have banana milk! I said I would make it for you too, that's being nice! That should count instead of saying please.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yes, you can. Let's go and make it. And then you're sitting quietly before bed.

And nothing counts instead of saying please. Pleases and thank yous cost you nothing, Sherlock, and buy you a great deal.

Greg Lestrade said...

...I think this banana milk is being rather viciously blended....

John H. D. Watson said...

I'd be scared if I were it.

Greg Lestrade said...

right, and now it's definitely time for bed, Sherlock.

Sherlock said...

Can I have a story please?

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, come on. What about?

Sherlock said...

a mystery with pirates.

John H. D. Watson said...

And they've gone upstairs with Sherlock holding his hand and telling him all about what should happen in his story... :)

Greg Lestrade said...

a very fast mystery...because you should be asleep.

(John, rescue me!)

John H. D. Watson said...

Who, me? You're the mystery expert! Don't know what I could possibly do...

Greg Lestrade said...

perform a daring rescue, I'm a damsel in distress! I'm no good with pirates and stuff.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. Try something with a sword fight and treasure chests. If you're not down in five minutes, I'll come after you, don't worry.

John H. D. Watson said...

It's worryingly quiet up there...

Anonymous said...

Have they started drawing a treasure map yet?

rsf (who has a banana, and milk, but no blender...)

John H. D. Watson said...

The ship and the story were foundering slightly, but Sherlock is asleep now, or at least in bed with the lights off. I'm making L a slightly alcoholic banana milk. He's had a hard time of it up there.

Greg Lestrade said...

define 'slightly'.

Anonymous said...

Yo ho ho and a banana full of rum?

rsf (oh, and I think the cup is better than the jumper. Truly wonderful Christmas sweaters are usually better sprung on the world be the wearer and not the viewers.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Really only very slightly, although I can add more...

Anonymous said...

*by* the wearer. *sigh*

Greg Lestrade said...

Nah, slightly is fine. I'm not 100% sure banana milk before bed is a good idea if you're not 7.

RSF - Truly wonderful Christmas sweaters sorry..phrase does not compute...

John H. D. Watson said...

It's good, I promise! I tested it selflessly on my own tastebuds.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, by the way, want to get married in a snow castle?

http://www.luxuryaccommodationsblog.com/post/35145201218/snow-castle

Greg Lestrade said...

...don't believe you have any, after that chilli concoction of yours...

No, I don't deny it tastes good. Just don't think I'll sleep that well on a stomach full of milk and banana.

Greg Lestrade said...

that is.... impressive.

But looking at the honeymoon suite, I fear getting cold feet and giving you the cold shoulder, all on our wedding night....

Plus, can you imagine trying to persuade Sherlock to ever leave??

John H. D. Watson said...

It would melt eventually, and then he'd have to.

But yeah, on the whole, it does look like it could use a few fireplaces and some central heating.

Greg Lestrade said...

hah. It is beautiful, though.

There's a few places I've thought of we can look at, over time. Depends roughly how many people we want there, and what time of year it'll be. We'll talk it over. Maybe spend a few days when it's just the two of us visiting the odd place?

John H. D. Watson said...

Sounds nice, yeah. I imagine we won't have that many people? I can't think of many I'd want to invite at least.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, not many. I don't know, most places seem to want you to have hundreds of guests... we'll find somewhere small and perfect, though.

John H. D. Watson said...

As long as you're marrying me, it'll be perfect.

Greg Lestrade said...

I know. And I will be. I promise to marry no other small perfect Doctors, or Nannies.

I will be so ridiculously proud to introduce you to people as my husband.

John H. D. Watson said...

Or anyone else! Don't get confused, on the day. I'll be the one in the suit you picked out.

So will I.

Greg Lestrade said...

That comment makes you sound like you have multiple personalities. All of whom will wear a suit I pick out....

Coming to bed?

Now, America, if we go to bed and let you stay up, don't you go voting in the wrong person, okay? I'm looking at you to set an example, Ohio. Behave.

John H. D. Watson said...

Behave

Heh. Or no pirate mysteries and banana milk.

I am. Bed would be lovely.

piplover said...

I've always loved to hear cursing from different parts of the world. It's so eye opening!

To tie this question in to today's post, are there any American-isms you find puzzling or completely bizarre?

REReader said...

And they've gone upstairs with Sherlock holding his hand and telling him all about what should happen in his story... :)

That mental picture is too cute for words. :)


Now, America, if we go to bed and let you stay up, don't you go voting in the wrong person, okay? I'm looking at you to set an example, Ohio. Behave.

I second, third, and fourth that! Because if they don't, I have to decide which country to move to. I hear it's pretty nice in the UK, and I already speak the language...

Which circles back to your blog, L--I gather none of the words you listed are compliments (<--satirical understatement), but to be honest, I have no idea what a good half of them mean--I hadn't ever heard of some of them. (Um.... tosspot, Oik, pillock, numpty, sod, toe-rag.) (Look, people tend to look at me and apologize for using language that hasn't offended me even when I do know what it means!)


Questions....How about what kind of learner are you? (Like....hands on, books, one-on-one teaching, listening to someone talk, figuring it out by yourself....what way of learning new things works best for you?)

Small Hobbit said...

I presume you will continue to live in America RR?

And I think that's an excellent question.

pandabob said...

So how many of the words in your post have you used today? or wanted to ;-)

The mug is brilliant but the jumper not so much! I hope you're all having good days doing what you're doing :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, a few.

Yeah, reasonable day. Think I've had a bit of a breakthrough. (case, not personal)

pandabob said...

a breakthrough sounds like good news, here's hoping its the one you need to clear the case up :-)

REReader said...

Ha, SH--indeed, and I'm so glad I don't hAve to start packing, it's such a hassle! :)

And I'm glad things are breaking your way on the case, L.

Greg Lestrade said...

It's actually quite hard to move here. I took the citizenship test a while ago and failed it.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, and this isn't the case I've been getting nowhere with. Different one. That one is still going nowhere.

REReader said...

Oh, I wasn't serious about moving to the UK. Israel, though--that would be quite easy, and I've a lot of family there. I do consider that quite often, and without kidding around. Only, I can't leave my parents without help. Realistically, I'm it, so I'm stuck here for now.

I'm sorry that other case is still a problem, L.

pandabob said...

I'm sorry its not that case Greg but to be honest I'd forgotten about that one and was just glad you're having a day where you're moving forward with something. :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

I guessed you weren't serious.

AnonyBob - yeah, nice to move forward with something.

Nicky said...

Oh, lovely jumper there, John!

Sherlock, I hope you've cheered up.

Orio, give me a call sometime.

John, I hope your session with your Dr E went well yesterday.

John H. D. Watson said...

Et tu, Nicky? I'll get one for you as well as Lestrade if you're not careful...

It went...all right, yeah. I'll probably write something about it today or tomorrow when I've thought it about it for a bit.

Greg Lestrade said...

You can call me you know Nicks

Sherlock said...

Is it almost time to cut down a Christmas tree?

Greg Lestrade said...

No mate, not yet.

Decided what to get the degus for their...one year with us iversary?

Sherlock said...

Whennnnn?

We should build them a box with dirt to dig in.

Greg Lestrade said...

About a week before Christmas, so a while yet.

And that's a good idea.

Nicky said...

I always feel like I'll call you in the middle of you chasing down a killer, or interviewing someone. I might call later, if you don't.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'll call, I'll call.

Anonymous said...

Just a note to say that I really had fun playing with the Oxford English Dictionary and your list of words. Some of them go pretty far back!

rsf

pandabob said...

this is one of those questions that comes with a 'please feel free to ignore or to tell me to shut up' tag but are you ok Greg?

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, just just.

And God preserve us from nosey sisters.

pandabob said...

Ok :-)

I hope you're escaping work at a reasonable time.

John H. D. Watson said...

Speaking of nosey sisters, Harry has invited herself to dinner.

Greg Lestrade said...

Tonight?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah. it's all right, I think I have dinner worked out.

Greg Lestrade said...

right. just tell me what to do. I'm on the way in.

Anony - Nicky was just fishing for info on John and Dr E. Or, rather, me and Dr E. Which is a 'thing' which does not exist, so...yeah, not much to talk about.

pandabob said...

Or she just wanted a chat?

I know you're ok but try and be good to yourself this evening :-)

Sherlock said...

we got a cheese wrapped in leaves. Why didn't you go to the doctor with John?

REReader said...

Weren't you considering it? (I know, it's none of my business. So if I shouldn't have asked feel free to tell me to buzz off.)

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - she wanted to chat too, yeah. In addition to the fishing.

Sherlock - vine leaves? And I didn't go because I didn't really want to. But I'll talk to John about how it went for him, and maybe at some point I will want to. Who knows?

RR - Sort of. I decided I didn't want to go.

pandabob said...

you know that for some people fishing = caring right?

personally I'm glad you didn't go if you didn't want to, that's far better than going because you thought you should.

Sherlock said...

you should go because she gave John a sweet and he gave it to me and if you went I could have two if you didn't want yours.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, I know. She was okay. Sisters fishing is inversely proportional to brothers calling for a chat, right? And we're trying to work out some sort of plan for them to come and visit. Mycroft and Carla want to ice skate, Nicky wants to shop, all that.

Greg Lestrade said...

John's accepting sweets from strange women, huh? I'll have words ;)

Did he get a sweet because he was well behaved??

Sherlock said...

That's what he said but I think he was being sarcastic.

Greg Lestrade said...

Sarcasm? Doesn't sound like our Hamish...

You know, if all you want is sweets, I can assure you I can provide those without going to see Dr E.

Sherlock said...

Okay!

Greg Lestrade said...

I didn't say I would...you eat plenty, Sherlock! And don't need any more sugar.

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - And thanks. I think it only works if you're going for the right reasons, probably?

John H. D. Watson said...

I suppose next you'll tell me sweets aren't the right reasons...

REReader said...

Are they good sweets, or just ordinary sweets? :)

pandabob said...

spending an hour feeling uncomfortable, wishing you were anywhere but there and feeling like you're letting people down because you aren't reacting as you should is not going to improve your life or anyone elses!

One day it might seem like the thing to do but I'm guessing that will be the day you can sneak off and see someone no one knows about and say nothing about it to anyone until you've done it and processed it :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

...depends, Danger. What was the reason for the sweet? And what flavour?

AnonyBob - yeah. Right now I can't imagine that day ever coming, but then, maybe you don't, until it does? I don't know.

John H. D. Watson said...

She just had some in a bowl on her table. I asked if they were to lure patients back and she said no, that's what she uses chocolates for. I got no chocolates.

Greg Lestrade said...

Are you going back anyway? Maybe it's the thought of chocolates she uses, not real ones...

It went okay though? Better than last time?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, I'll go back. Better than last time if only because I said more than two words.

Greg Lestrade said...

And were some of those words non-sweet-related? (Bear in mind that whichever way you answer, either me or Sherlock will be happy ;) )

And, more importantly, did she read your blog??

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. They were non sweet related. She said she's read bits of it but not the whole thing, which is reasonable. And bits of yours too.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ah. But she still set you free to come back to me, so she can't think I'm too bad ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

She said it sounds as if we're a good match for each other. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Does that mean she thinks we're both mad as a box of frogs, or that we're both stubborn gits?

John H. D. Watson said...

Maybe both?

Greg Lestrade said...

Hah, I'll take that.

I'm incredibly pleased we think we're a good match for each other, no matter what she thinks.

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