12 July 2011

Policing in Nowheresville, Ruralshire

They really do knock of at 5 here. Unbelievable. Apparently after that there are officers on call from about 25 miles away, but even their station closes, so they have to be called in from home.

It's like stepping back in time.

Usual stuff about can't say much about the case - you all know how it goes now.

Middle aged couple, killed in their own home, no apparent motive. Only one officer here has ever worked a murder case before. But they don't want to bring an entire team in because they think local knowledge will be key. Which it might be.




Today was. Mainly about setting up a proper enquiry and me getting up to speed with everything they know - very little, given forensics isn't even back yet. And I've been told to expect a very contaminated scene, even when we get it.

Right now I'm in my B&B. It's...well, it's got wifi, so it can't be bad, right?

Clean enough, fairly boring. Everything you'd expect, right down to crap instant coffee in my room. Landlady seems friendly, even let me put the bike in her garage, which was nice of her. He husband works down in Norwich, so I'll meet him later I suppose.

I have no idea what to do with my evening. Need to find some food, possibly a drink, and have a think about the case.


Missing John and the boys like crazy. Normally I'd just be heading home now. Today I've been here for about an hour already, and all I can think about is what they're up to.

There's a civilian whatever they're called working the front desk who took a serious shine to me when I arrived.

By the time she got around to offering to 'show me the sights' (there aren't any, so I can guess which ones she means) I was clearly far too reticent for her liking. So she waspishly said "Wife mind you working away, does she? Leaving her looking after the kids?"

A few not-entirely-the-truth responses passed through my head. But I thought hey, why should I lie? So I said "the two boys can be a bit of a handful for my boyfriend, on his own. But he's tough enough to cope, thanks."

Silence stretched....then she pasted on a smile and mad herself busy.

From the looks I've been getting since I think the gossip is slowly spreading...

At least she's stopped trying so hard, though. Now she's being almost normal.

56 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

Normal's good. She sounds like a decent person. And you'll be That Gay D.I. from now on. See, you should've worn leather trousers to complete the image.

It sounds fairly dismal, I hope you can sort them out soon and come home.

Our night was fairly quiet. Mrs Hudson cooked, and came up to eat with us. Sherlock presented several wild theories about your case. One of them included wolves.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

She is a nice person. Now I'm getting to meet her, not her-on-the-pull. They're pretty much all nice, just used to sorting out the odd burglary or farmer driving about on red diesel. The DI has a bit of a chip on his shoulder. Keeps making snide comments about the Met and London.

Sherlock, I'm fairly sure wolves aren't involved - but I'll keep the possibility in mind.

I'm going to nip out and get something to eat. But I'll have my phone with me.

Sitting here on a single bed is too depressing.

Sherlock said...

You said there was no motive, so it might be wolves. Wolves don't need motives. But then they'd probably eat the people, which is kind of a motive. They weren't eaten were they?

I'm emailing you some computer games you can play online for if you get too bored.

John H. D. Watson said...

How's the food?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Thanks Sherlock. Although it's not bored really as much as knowing I'd be having more fun with you lot.

No, they weren't eaten. And I said 'no apparent motive', which is police-speak for 'we don't know what it was yet'.


Haven't gone to find any food yet. Probably should - apparently even the take-aways close at about 9 around here.

Tink said...

Oh good lord! Go get food! Quickly! Don't want you to starve out there in the wilderness. So do they have a pub in the town you're in with the B&B? Also, I'm glad the lady calmed down once you told her what was up. If she gets really curious you can show her the picture and then report back to us what the look on her face was!

J: You are made of awesome. Just so you know.

Sherlock: Wolves generally only attack people when they're starving and there's no other prey. Since it's summer time, there's plenty of other food for them to catch. Late Autumn and Winter is generally when you have to worry about animals attacking people... Even then they look for loners.

Mycroft: How are you doing? You've been really quiet as of late. I keep sending you mental warm fuzzy thoughts. Maybe you should keep a blog too...

Sherlock said...

Are you coming home tomorrow?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Got food, ta.

The B&B isn't in a town...that probably tells you all you need to know.

Apparently it's only about a twenty minute walk to the nearest pub, though.

Sherlock - I really doubt it, sorry. If we solve the case, then I'll be back as soon as I can be. But it might be a few days yet. What did you get up to today at school?

Tink said...

... Oh dear. Well. Um. At least there is wifi! But heading to the pub might be useful in all sorts of ways. You'll get a bunch of exercise too! :D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, wifi is good.

I'm not there right now. I'm out...well, being ridiculously soppy, actually. In a way which probably doesn't befit a 45yr old DI.

Sherlock said...

One of the fish that live in our classroom died so we asked Mrs T if we could mummify it so we looked up a lot of things about mummifying online and we took its guts out and stored it in salt. You're supposed to take its brains out with a hook but I don't think it had enough. It was a very small fish. Its name was Harvey so we're learning how to write that in hieroglyphics for the sarcophagus but Mrs T doesn't know how so she has to find someone who does. Mycroft doesn't know either.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Wow, Sherlock. No foul play in the death, I presume?

Can't you Google hieroglyphs? I Googled all these smiley things. They're sort of modern-day hieroglyphs, right?

Mycroft, you bury any bodies today?

Sherlock said...

Yes but you have to know how to put them together right too.

Harvey died of being too old for a fish, Mrs T says. He wasn't really very old though. Unless he was already old when we got him. How old is old for a fish?

Mycroft said...

No bodies, only dead languages. I don't know ancient Egyptian though. It never seemed like something that would be particularly useful. I wasn't counting on Sherlock needing to entomb his fish properly.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think it must depend on what sort of fish he was, Sherlock. (How do you even know he was a he?). I'm certain you can Google life-spans of fish.

Mycroft, I don't think any of us would have thought we should learn an ancient language for that reason...

Is John okay? There's no point me asking him that, he'll just say whatever he thinks will make me feel better.

I'm getting cold, so I'm going to go back to my gaff. I'll be back on in a short while.

Mycroft said...

I think John's all right. He's quiet. And he misses you, of course, but that's normal.

John H. D. Watson said...

Why are you out wandering in the cold?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You know I said I'd be pretty close to where we came for Mycroft's birthday? I went and sat on the beach we sat on then, that night. Just made me feel a bit...less lonely. Or more lonely. I don't know. But made me think about then, not now, which was good.

opened your present yet?

John H. D. Watson said...

Sound nice. I wish I was there with you.

Not yet. I thought I'd better wait until they're definitely asleep.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I bloody wish you were too.

Was nice. Bit cold though, bit of a wind coming in off the sea.

This is ridiculous, isn't it? Moping about just because I don't get to see you lot for a day or two. I think it'd be better if I knew how long I'd be here for. Or I had more to do.

John H. D. Watson said...

I feel pretty mopey too so I won't be calling you ridiculous, no.

Maybe we could go back to the windmill for our trip?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah? It was really nice, wasn't it? How much leave do you get from Mrs H? Given you work 24/7 you should get a hell of a lot of TOIL.

We'd have to triple-check our luggage for stowaways though. I don't think Genius Junior would be happy with us.

John H. D. Watson said...

Not sure, but I think I'd be afraid to go for more than the weekend, at least the first time. Can you imagine what Sherlock might get up to while we were gone?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

they in bed yet?

Be best to go in the week, surely? That way Sherlock will be at school for a large portion of his waking hours...and therefore not trying to grow enough mould to fill the flat, or constructing a mutated tadpole/polar bear hybrid in the living room.

John H. D. Watson said...

...you make a valid point.

Yeah, they're sleep. Do you want to skype while I open this thing?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think Mycroft's right - the connection here isn't that good. Think Skype just does that strange juddery thing, where it freezes all the time.

Don't worry, I have a very vivid imagination...

And we can always move to the phone if we need to. (Although I've been told I'm not to have the TV volume about level 6 after ten pm, so don't get too noisy...)

John H. D. Watson said...

It's a copper... Of course it is.

All right, I was wrong, I am going to call you ridiculous. <3 I'm laughing so hard right now. Probably louder than a 6.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well don't wake the boys!!

And good. Glad I put a smile on your face. Hope it also puts a smile on your face.



Call me?

John H. D. Watson said...

I am, right now.

Rider said...

It's a copper...

is a ... something to do with etc.?

mazarin221b said...

Rider - I'mma jump in here and say yes, it does, and then gloat cause I totally guessed correctly. (although I have nothing to prove that, cause where on earth would I record my guess?)

I'd say now's the perfect time to use the speakerphone feature (hooray hands free!), but God knows how loud it might get! ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

...No comment.

Tink said...

... = etc. now? We're all going to have to watch our ellipses! ;D

crankybookwyrm said...

My husband complains that the worst thing about business travelling is missing us. (The first time our son said, "I love you, Daddy" to him, he was in the Chicago airport. I don't think his feet hit the ground for the rest of the trip.)

J - Have fun with your copper. ;-)

mazarin221b said...

...No comment

No, I'd say that 2 hour pause in posting pretty much says it all. ;)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You lot are are an inquisitive bunch.

Danger - just don't get too used to your copper..., because there is no substitute for your regular copper.

John H. D. Watson said...

It doesn't quite measure up in some respects anyway. I prefer the original.

Sherlock said...

Have you caught the murderer yet? When are you coming home? You should have taken John and me and Mycroft and the dogs, because last time we all helped and caught the murderer really fast and we could do that again and then you could come home.

And if there are wolves then the dogs would help. And Mummy could send helicoptors again and everything.

I want you to come home.

Anon Without A Name said...

Tink: I think ... is a perfect synonym for etc. Except for how often I use ellipses in normal text... ;-p

Lestrade: You lot are are an inquisitive bunch.

And you two are the ones discussing John's ersatz copper in public :-)

Hope you have a better (more productive?) day today. And John, I hope you and the boys manage to have some fun today, even in the absence of everyone's favourite DI.

Tink said...

Nameless Nonny: I use them a bunch as well... We can ... together! :D

Sherlock: We're right there with you in wanting L home as soon as possible. Be strong and get your biggest hug ready for when you next see him!

J&L: Naughty! ;D Hope you guys had a... nice... phonecall last night!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sherlock, I do wish you were all here with me. But you've got school. I promise I will be home as soon as I can be. I miss you all.

Danger - Damn right it doesn't. It's most definitely not life like.

Rider said...

Lestrade says
You lot are are an inquisitive bunch.

Well when John says things like It doesn't quite measure up in some respects anyway.

are you surprised?

That would make anyone ask questions...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Tink, the ...phonecall didn't measure up to the real thing either. But it was better than nothing.

Sherlock, if you get some free time at school today maybe you could draw John a nice picture? Of all of us, or your imaginings about my crime scene, or anying else that takes your fancy. And be really nice to him. Maybe you could help cook dinner tonight, too. There's pasta and sauce in the fridge. I know you're good at that, and Mycroft can help you with the heavy pans and the water.

If it's of us, could you do me one too? Then I can keep it if I have to go anywhere else.

Sherlock said...

You can't go anywhere else! It's stupid, you're missing us and we're missing you and they can't make you go anywhere else, and they should get you back now.

I'm going to call Scotland Yard and tell them.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha, well, it is my job, Sherlock, so I don't think the yard will do much about it, really. But it is nice to feel wanted. Thanks.

John H. D. Watson said...

So...your super seems like a very understanding person. I hope.

At least, he was apparently quite nice to Sherlock. When Sherlock managed to call him from school.

Er. Sorry about that. Mrs T told me just now.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Right, Sherlock, seriously, please don't do that again. I'm going to get John to have a talk to you about why.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ah, just seen you already know John.

Yeah, he's got kids. He found it hilarious. Apparently S rang saying he had a complaint about me and managed to get put through.

John H. D. Watson said...

Thank goodness for that.

Yeah, I asked him what his back up plan was if that didn't work and he said he was going to cry. I suspect it would've worked.

We'll be talking about why he's not going to try it again, don't worry.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

He told me there had been a complaint. I was halfway through absolutely losing my shit at him about how I couldn't possibly have done anything when he told me the complaint was no dinner cooked and the lack of a bedtime murder story. I hastily apologise.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha! Sorry, I know it could've gone really badly, but oh god that's funny. Leaving them to cope with my cooking really is cause for complaint...

I'm going to post about this. I'd hate for anyone to miss it.

crankybookwyrm said...

And now the super knows that L has people at home worrying and missing him. (Which may not stop the business trips, but now they'll likely be given with smiles.)

Thank you all for the smiles. Sherlock, I'll bet Lestrade's doesn't fade all day. He may be missing you, but he knows it's returned.

Anonymous said...

Aw Greg, that's too sweet for words but good thing your super has a nice sense of humor :)

it sure must feel good to see how much that boy adores you though!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

If you're posting you should probably ask Sherlock about the claims of ownership. The Super said he tried to explain that while I was working, I sort of belonged to everyone in London. Sherlock was having none of it. There were threats of mummy getting involved. The Super clearly doesn't know how scary that prospect actually is.

John H. D. Watson said...

Just as well he doesn't! I'll give her a call. Not that I seriously think she'd do anything, but it'd be good if she'd tell Sherlock that. He and Mycroft are both really attached to the belief that, even if she's not around all the time, she can and will fix anything for them.

Tink said...

L: Phone calls never are. But they're better than nothing right? I hope today proves more productive on the 'finding the murderer' front. See J's blog for my thoughts on the Sherlock vs. Super incident :D Anyway, maybe as you're walking around you could take pictures of stuff around you and text them to Sherlock and Mycroft so they'll feel a little closer to you?

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