Anyway, nearly Eurovision time, so we're watching and I'll probably be commenting on here, with help from my beautiful assistant(s).
Now...plates, takeaway, tv buttons, Pimms, and if anyone gives us 'nil points'...
DANGER SMASH!
(Insert any amusing comments regarding fist....s here.)
148 comments:
Well, they're enjoying their wire work.
And last year's winning song was...short.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?
Oh no! He's turning into DANGER HULK! He may SMASH ME.
I can't reveal my sources...
Hush, it's Engelbert!!
Harriet Vane Watson, you are in so much trouble.
You could get a leather jacket like the Hungarian boy...
Englebert was ... a bit understated...
Your sister is named for Harriet Vane, that's way cool!
Oh...is Albanian lady singing about snails?
If this is experimental voice jazz...Albania can keep it.
how does she get hair like that?
Reckon it's a wig, AnonyBob...
That was...
Well, I think we're in first or second place...
Anon - I have occasionally felt she got the better end of the naming deal, yeah.
Now Lithuania. Those are some dance moves.
John Hamish Danger... you'd be laughed at if your name was Harriet Vane...
You could have ended up with Peter Death Bredon Watson, that would probably have been worse than Hamish!
For a man who has just posted a picture of me with Hulk hands, you seem entirely too laid back and...mocky.
Anon - Between Death and Hamish, I can tell you which one would've made school easier! Being an adult now though (mostly), I am glad to be named for my grandfather.
Well, when you change into Danger Hulk I'll worry.
Must be a hell of a death grip...
weird shoulder pads are really in this year!!
Russian grannies!
well......it's........
different?
I reckon it'll win.
if they stack themselves together at the end I'm voting for them!
Iceland are scaring me slightly.
It's times like this I really think Americans are totally missing out. I wonder if this will be on Youtube later?
Iceland looked like ninjas at the beginning.
You might be able to watch it here:
www.eurovision.tv
So Cyprus are just going for sex appeal and forgetting about lyrics...
No objections here.
...I'll just hope for some scantily clad boys...ah, hello France!!
Right hush. Italy.
Not bad...
She does indeed look like Amy Winehouse minus the drink and drugs.
Huh.
You in an Incredible Sulk with me, John Hulkish Watson?
No! Only a Bruce Banner level sulk. I was just surprised by Italy.
I like to think Italy surprises you a lot :)
In what way were you surprised?
And why were you wearing Hulk Smash Hands?
cringe!!
They weren't bad! Not that Italy in particular should be bad, but...
Guess.
Erm... very poor attempt at fancy dress?
Short lived career as children's entertainer?
Sexual fetish.
Dare.
Honestly thought they'd help you in a fight.
They are your natural hands when you're angry. I'm just lucky I haven't seen you angry yet...
Romania...moonwalking bagpiper... need I say more?
Are those bagpipes heart shaped?
Dare.
Honestly thought they'd help you in a fight.
Somewhere between these two.
want some?
..and your comment inbetween makes it sound like I was offering you out..
I meant 'want some heart shaped bagpipes'.
She's the captain and temille!
Ha! Thank you, but NO, I do not. Want some heart shaped bagpipes, just to be clear.
Just never approach me with those fists and that determined look on your face. Especially if I'm in a vulnerable position....
...and this Swedish entry has been number one in half the countries that are here in the competition.
Just shows you why Europop doesn't catch on here...
She looked like she was skiing for half the song.
The other bloke had giant Mickey Mouse hands. I felt fairly confident of victory.
Turkey is... interesting.
Right...and what, you had a fist fight??
foam hand fight surely?
Well...I'm not sure you could really call it a fight. We sort of flailed at each other and then fell over and laughed a lot.
Hahahaha, I just posted on Johns blog that since I can't watch, imagining it all from my Twitter feed is hilarious. I could watch with some internet trickery, but its only 4pm I was in my inlaws pool until just now!
And OMG that pic. You have to love your siblings, or else you'd kil them.
Well I'm glad it ended in laughter.
This German boy is standing still.
It's the night of unconvincing female drummers!
Is this the night?
pretty unconvincing guitar playing as well anon
I think it might be the night.
weren't you eating her yesterday greg ;)
Ha, I can assure you I wasn't!
Oh, Ireland.....yeah
Those are quite some outfits...
another serious set of shoulder pads!!
Surely Jedward are too young to remember the Jetsons?
OMG Jedward
"love is not a thing'...but Danger, you love things and stuff! Love must be stuff.
Did he just say doggy poo?
I may never recover from Jedward.
I could get you one of those suits to go under your Danger Sparkles jacket, on your new bike.
I would sooner wear Hulk hands. To work.
Your patients would rather you wore the suit.
I'm sure (most of) my patients have more taste than that.
Still, there are very few procedures I've been through at the doctors' which I would have been happy about being carried out with the doc in hulk hands.
Especially at my age.
who's going to win then?
I honestly thought Italy was pretty good.
And the Russian grannies.
Greece, Spain and a few other countries will be praying not to win, or they'll go bankrupt.
the russian grannies are gona get it aren't they!
Part of me thinks we should all vote for Greece just to see the reaction ;-)
It's got to be the Russian grannies.
Sorry I'm late to the party. My train from London went via Cheltenham due to signal failure at Gloucester and I'm just catching up. I've voted anyway.
Is it a live count of the vote? When will we know who wins?
And thanks for the live blog. I feel like I haven't missed anything.
The results come in live, so yeah, soon we'll know.
But each country has to report their results back, it takes ages and everyone is nice to each other etc. and it's terrible. But we'll keep you updated...
Hi guys - am watching this too. Graham Norton's joke about Greece's finance minister dying a little inside at Albania giving Greece 12 points made me think of your comment above!
So far, so predictable...
(For anyone who's not used to all this, it's all political, and very little to do with the quality of the song...)
Kate L - Graham's probably reading this blog...
UK still on Nil Points!
I don't think I've ever wanted to fast forward live TV more.
Wait 'til we get a point... it'll be dancing around the living room!
So, dancing now L?
Yay, one point!
....You could put Sherlock to bed... it being incredibly late.
And I'll fetch Mycroft early, while you two have a lie in.
my god a point that's us happy for another year ;-)
I'll do that. Don't think it'll take long, back in a minute.
I'll tell you if you miss anything...
I am metaphorically on the edge of my seat.
Hah! Scott Mills' little dig about being the host city for the 2012 Olympics was priceless.
"That's Olympic host city, by the way. We're, like, so not bothered about Eurovision..." *le yawn*
something makes me doubt the sincerity of that comment John ;-)
this bit sucks we never get any point but somehow having watched the first two hours you feel you should find out the result!
Is it sadder to get one point or nil?
Are we really only half way through the voting?
.... really. Yes.
This Swedish woman is hilarious!
Wow, just clicked over to see what's happening. It's just not the same as when they used to read out the name of every county, leading to fabulous "nil points".
Also, Stockholm WTF? Swedish accent my arse.
being last is note worthy I suppose, isn't it???
Nameless - but if every country read out all the points we would literally be here forever.
John has just collapsed on top of me and groaned that there are still 13 countries to vote.
UK...LAST. STILL. It wasn't that bad!
I took as long as I could and it's still going on...
Oh dear, back on the bottom again. I think I may just go to bed.
Hahaha, oh, Finland.
Oh dear god Finland.
Finland... crikey.
Well... second last...
It COULD have been worse. I think? Perhaps it's better just to be last....
I think right down near the bottom is the place to be, considering what won.
last is something second last is nothing ;-)
Yeah...well...I didn't think it was that bad!
Right, come on Incredible Hunk, get yourself in that bed.
There were much worse entries out there but europe hates us so we have no chance! still provides a night of entertainment though ;-)
No, UK is the one hating Europe! (I haven't seen the show, but France usually doesn't get much points either). I think it's good Sweden won, it's one of the country that gets genuinely excited for the contest. I would be super annoyed if we had to held it in France.
Anon from Paris
John, may I ask about something in that picture other than your Hulk hands and your adorable expression? Is the photograph misleading or did your hair used to be a fairly dark brown? Because I remember thinking it looked like a chestnut-y gold color in your profile pic, and I think L has referred to you as blond a few times. What's your actual hair color? (To someone whose hair is an unrelieved black, this is fascinating. Also, the phenomenon of changing eye color - there are only brown eyes in my family tree.)
I'm not sure anyone hates anyone else, TBH. I think the UK doesn't take it seriously, some other countries don't take it very seriously, some other countries do (all good). The voting is rpetty irrelevant unless you actually win and have to pay for the bloody thing next year. This year like many others we submitted an entry that shouldn't have won and didn't.
*shrug*
(We were having a barbie in the back garden, had Eurovision on the iPad with the sound off, following it on Twitter on my phone; lots of fun).
Honestly, it's all about the kitsch, right? Finland got it right with their presenter; the Turkish vampire sailors were spot on too :-)
Hope Operation Kidnap Mycroft Pre-Chapel was successful, and that you're all having a wonderful day.
Sorry anon from Paris my seriousness filter had been disabled over the course of the evening ;-) I didn't mean to offend anyone.
This is the best place ever and I saw a HUGE goldfish and now we're going up in the trees and we're going to come back LOTS
I love your enthusiasm for all things fun Sherlock :-) enjoy every minute :-)
Where are you, Sherlock? Is this the excursion that Mycroft's Headmaster thought sounded educational?
We're at Kew.
We are never coming here again without a leash for Sherlock.
But it is brilliant ;)
Ever since I read Brat Farrar I've wanted to go to Kew, but time or money has always been an issue. Enjoy the day!
It's years since I've been. We really ought to go again.
I bought John and I joint membership (our first joint account, I think?) And the boys get in free anyway.
I have just had to climb 100 odd stairs with Sherlock on my shoulders, because of the lack of leash though... no way we were letting him run ahead.
Oh, by the way, Sherlock, I meant to mention this to you before. I bet you could come up with some really fascinating places to take your pictures! (And maybe even with the Arthur fish?)
I can remember a time when you put a penny (old style) in the slot and went through a turntable to get in.
Innie - there was a hair dying incident. My girlfriend at the time was learning to be a hairdresser and apparently you have to mix dyes and things to particular shades, and I said she could practise on me, provided it wasn't too outrageous. She and I had differing definitions of outrageous. What you see in the photo was her second, more reasonable attempt.
Ah, times have changed... I just flashed my mobile phone at them :)
I have no clue how Sherlock has this much energy. Mycroft, John and I are in the shade under a tree.
I'd call your hair... mouse brown? If I was being polite.
Dirty blond is probably more accurate...
I can't tell if you're going for accurate or just dirty... But yeah, although a lot of it is just grey now.
I almost wish I had a picture from her first try. It was sort of purply black. I looked like the world's most jumpery vampire.
Jumpery jampire?
You are a dirty blond, tis true.
Right... Sherlock wants to go back in the tropical house, on the top walk. Which will be about eleven million degrees with 800% humidity.
Shall I go, if you and Mycroft wait outside? Give Mycroft a break from being seen with my shorts and flipflops...
Are you sure you want to sacrifice yourself? He might feed you to a carnivorous plant...
You're a good man, Lestrade! First letting Sherlock ride on your shoulders and now considering Mycroft's sartorial sensibilities.
John, thanks for the explanation. It's too bad there's no photographic evidence of your minutes as a jumpery vampire, but perhaps Sherlock could draw his take on it, along with the HUGE goldfish?
Hi, Mycroft!
Also, tonight might be the perfect night for you all to watch Little Shop of Horrors, considering John's carnivorous-plant crack.
Now I'm up here I can safely say being fed to a plant would be a welcome release.
I'm completely soaked in sweat.
TIME FOR ICE CREAM!
I'll have an ice lolly. Something nice and cold to suck on.
I think John's asleep in the shade of this tree. Lestrade probably will be when he's finished his coffee.
Won't be.
Will be. Is.
Not. Just resting eyes.
Mycroft - I'm assuming that he is? I hope you're all having a lovely day, and that Lestrade's shorts'n'flipflops combo isn'trio painful :-)
what are you doing while everyone pretends not to be asleep Mycroft? I hope you've had a fun and 'educational' day :-)
pandabob > Not offended ! I forgot my smileys to express jokiness. ('The uk hates europe' was a referencing the fact the UK tends to be anti-Europe politically, not that all British people hate Europe. All of which is irrelevant for a kitsch song contest anyway )
Scandinavian countries tend to love the Eurovision, so good for Sweden on winning, I meant in all honesty. And I'm really glad it's not us :)
Enjoy the quiet time guys ! It's very hot here too.
Anon from Paris
Not.
Should go soon. Got to get Mycroft back to school, get dinner, all that.
Just got to move.
Soon.
It was very educational. I didn't know it was possible for Lestrade's face to turn that colour. It almost matched his shorts.
I'm glad you learnt something Mycroft ;-) are you on half term after next week? I'm hoping the nice weather will last to school holidays but I suspect it may not!
What colour?
A few degrees short of lobster.
I'm hoping you mean temporarily after being in the hothouse, not now... I don't want to be burned, my doctor wouldn't approve.
Only after the hothouse. John's ears are really pink though.
They are, aren't they.
I'll rub aftersun into them later.
Mycroft, it's amazing what you can learn from a day out.
Anonybob, do you have no understanding of English weather? Half term is a bank holiday.
I'm glad you all had a great day! It sounds like quite an adventure!
I loved Kew! My sister took me there last April, and we wandered around all day. Though I had been a dork and left my cane behind, and found myself almost stranded at the top of the hot house. Still, it was totally worth it to see some of those trees!
I live in hope but never in expectation SH ;-)
Right, now we're back home, and John and Sherlock are tackling some food while I get Mycroft back to school in time for his dinner...
it's all go around here :)
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