Who's the Daddy??
Well...not me. As most of you will have gathered, my sperm is going...well, none of your business ;) but there's only one doctor who's going to be doing anything with it, and it's not Jo and Lisa's fertility doc.
They were completely lovely about it all, and I really didn't feel pressured to do anything I didn't want to.
I'll admit there was an initial moment of 'Wow! The chance to have a baby!' but then reality kicked in, and Jo explained exactly what she and Lisa had agreed about how much involvement the father would have in the child's life, and I told her about John and the boys and...
Well, honestly, it's John and the boys which have changed things a lot. I think. Not that I'd ever thought about it before. But anyway, I think I'd find it far too hard not to play a big role in any child's life. As in...want to be there every day. Even when I've been away from Sherlock and Mycroft for a few days they change - and every time Mycroft comes home from school he's grown and changed and I wouldn't want to miss all that.
John also had reservations - which he can tell you about if he chooses. And we talked it through a lot, although I'd sort of made my mind up that it probably wasn't the thing for me.
The bigger thing, really, is that I can't imagine 'having' a child with anyone who isn't John. I'd want him to be half of it. I'd want him to be right there, sharing everything. Well, science isn't there yet, but I think that the two of us and the boys are the closest I could ever wish for. And I have that. So anything else...well, I'd be doing it for the wrong reasons, and it wouldn't work out. I can't be the person Lisa, Jo and their baby need. But I'm sure they'll find the right bloke. And I know a good nanny...
So, just in case some of you are wondering how come they asked me at all, I should probably add a short history of our friendship.
Jo and I met through Bryan. We used to run into each other at various private views and parties. She was always the life and soul, but never into half of the drugs or anything anyone else was. And she's the sort of person that 'stuff' happens to. (Like John.) (And now I expect both of them are reading this...) So it was me she called when her water tank split and her ceiling fell in on Christmas Eve... and me she called when she locked herself out. All four times. And so our friendship grew. But when Bry and I split up, I pretty much worked myself into the ground and didn't see anyone for far too long, because it seemed easier to cut myself off from everyone completely than answer all the questions. So I'm really glad we're back in touch. And I hope to see a lot more of both of them, as John seemed to get along with both of them, and they actually live pretty close. We already have a return invite to dinner. :)
79 comments:
I really wish Jo and Lisa all the luck in the world in becoming parents but I am glad you have made the right decision for you and your family.
The whole baby of yours and John's idea makes me wish for instant advances in science because I think you two would be great with a baby you have, afterall, proved yourselves to be the most loving and wonderful men for your boys :-)
Friends are good for everyone especially ones who seem to be as much fun as Jo :-)
Anonybob
I think it shouldn't be that hard to make a baby out of Lestrade and John and then just get someone else to have it and Jo and Lisa are nice and Jo's going to do me a tattoo and I might want a target like John or a really big newt on my back or something and Lisa make films.
It shouldn't be hard but sadly it is still not possible Sherlock and finding someone who was willing to grow a baby and then give it up is probably more difficult than you might think.
You sound like you very much like Jo and Lisa Sherlock I'm glad you found them to be a lot of fun and not just because they helped you gang up on Lestrade ;-)
I'm so pleased you made a choice you seem happy about right now and is likely to make you happy in the future. As someone who heats up a quarter of Sherlock's milk in the mornings and offers your lap and shoulders for him and riding lessons for Mycroft, you're too hands-on as a parent to be happy to be a (very welcome) third.
I was thinking it was a shame that you and John won't be passing those lovely smiles on, but you are, really - you've made Mycroft and Sherlock happy, and their smiles have multiplied.
I'm glad that you've made a decision and that everyone is happy.
Personally, I've never felt the urge to have kids or pass my genetics along, so I have trouble sometimes understanding that urge. That doesn't stop me from wanting to be the crazy aunt, however! All the fun and little of the stress!
L--I'm really happy you've made a decision that clearly you are very certain about and comfortable with. (And I have to say you have beautiful reasons. :))
And for the rest--hey, you never know! Science may figure it out yet!
Sherlock, it is a pity they don't know how to make a baby out of two men yet, even with a woman kind enough to carry the baby for them. But if scientists did figure it out, you wouldn't be able to give the baby back at the end of the day, you know! (I'm sure it could be worked out somehow so you wouldn't have to share your room, though. :)) A paint tattoo sounds pretty wonderful! Both a target and a really big newt should be a lot of fun to have for Gay Pride. Or really anything! That's the best part of paint tattoos--you aren't stuck with them for life, so you can choose ANYTHING!
Both Jo and Lisa sound like fun people to be around, for all of you. And it's always lovely to have real family friends!
It's nice to hear that whatever the specific outcome you've got back with a friend who you might never have met again otherwise.
And like others I'm glad you've been able to come to a decision that everyone is happy with.
Thanks, all of you.
I know it's the right choice for us.
And yeah, Sherlock, you get onto sorting that out. Try to persuade John about the time machine in the living room ;)
Well, being faced with a decision like that certainly makes you assess certain things all of a sudden, doesn't it? Glad you guys are all on the same page and comfortable with how everything turned out. And reconnecting with friends is always wonderful, no matter how it came about to start with.
(and...gah, don't kick me, but...well, you both have full sisters, and I've heard of other couples doing a little mix and match with the siblings, which is pretty close to having part of both of you. *runs*)
I won't kick you. But Nicky might!
I'm fairly sure she's done having kids now.
Like everyone else I'm really glad you've been able to come to a decision that you're comfortable with, and that you feel is right for you, and for the four of you. It's great that it's brought you back in touch with old friends too :-)
John - how're you feeling about it all now?
No, I mean, you just use eggs and use a surrogate, if that's what works and why am I trying to explain this again? :D
Anyway, it was just something that crossed my mind, not that I'm trying to encourage! You guys have plenty on your plate as it is!
Maz - Ah! Sorry, I understand now :) I think I probably still stand by my usual assertions of being too old and too busy to bring up a baby... but never say never, right?
Nameless - better, I think. Someone else raising L's child was...not a happy thought for me. But I didn't want to say anything in case he felt differently and...well. It's all done now, and I'm very happy to have met Jo and Lisa. Even if it means I end up painted in outlandish colours for Pride.
Sherlock can help you choose what she paints on you, John, I'm sure he'll come up with something appropriate!
You don't have to get anything painted. If you only want to show your body off to me and not the rest of London then I'm completely happy with that.
Ha, glad to hear it. I'll take pictures of you and Sherlock.
You could show it off to me right now if you wanted... it's way too warm for pyjamas, surely (my feet excluded.)
I could do that...
...you make it sound like you may come back with a counter-offer. I can barter...it's fine.
Heh. My counter offer would be that you'll have to get off me first so we can retire to the bedroom.
Mm. Comfy.
Imagine truly retiring to a bedroom... no more work, just a big soft bed and you.
Think we could train the degus to fetch us grapes?
I think they'd just eat them. You'd have to get a fridge installed by the bedside. Or maybe one of the dogs could be trained as a grape dog.
Mmm. You're right. they would. and grapes are on Sherlock's 'very bad for degus' list, so they're not allowed them.
Ah well, I'll be retiring ages before you anyway. You can fetch the grapes :)
Yes, caesar, anything you say. You are still going to have to get off me though, unless you want to spend the night on the sofa. Before you fall asleep. Was that a snore?
No. defintely not. heavy breathing, your fault.
give me a push so i can get up?
...Maybe that was me snoring. Yeah all right.
You made it off the sofa I assume?
And on the general theme of being involved with your children, did you see the news that Casey Stoner is retiring at the end of the season L?
Eventually. Very late. Meaning I'm half asleep now.
And no, hadn't heard that.
Sorry you're having a draggy day, L. Do you have any nice weekend plans to look forward to?
I look forward to any plans with maximum JMS and minimum work.
Mycroft said he might want to meet for breakfast tomorrow, so that'd be nice.
JMS?
Breakfast with Mycroft does sound lovely! Just you, followed by a ride, or John and Sherlock, too?
John Mycroft and Sherlock?
Breakfast with Mycroft sounds like great fun.
I hope the friday feeling is kicking in for everyone.
EBSanon
L - just dropping in to say that your blog title now has 'Daddy Cool' playing more or less on repeat in my head. It's a catchy song, so it's actually quite entertaining :)
Here's hoping you have a lovely weekend, hanging out with your boys.
EBAnon - correct.
Kate L - it's an undeerated song
Ah! Sounds like a recipe for a great weekend. :)
Free! Escape, escape, run home!
Not sure if just me or everyone. I'll call him tonight.
I hope you made a clean getaway... :D
(Either way it'll be fun! :) )
I did.
I ate such a fantastically tasty pretzels today with coffee I might make some. (pretzels aren't at all popular or common here, for those of you .... not here.)
Who's going to watch eurovision? I'm not sure I'm going to have time...
Who needs eurovision explaining to them....
I have the vague idea I might have heard the term "eurovision" somewhere but that's about it...
(And thanks for preemptively explaining about pretzels not being common in the UK! I assume you mean the kind we get on almost any midtown street corner here, the big soft-ish hot ones? I haven't had many because the street-corner vendors aren't kosher, but I certainly know what they are, yummmm. :) )
Yes, big soft covered in cinnamon and sugar. But Sherlock is putting in a solid case to forget about pretzels and make iced cinnamon buns instead...
Eurovision... it's allegedly a competition about music - songs, to be exact. But actually a political popularity contest that everyone wants to do well in, but no one wants to win... our entry this year is actually not that bad. Engelbert Humperdinck singing 'Love Will Set You Free'. But I doubt we're in danger of winning - too unpopular!
Oh, wait, that sounds a bit familiar--is that the thing that ABBA got famous through winning?
(Why does no one want to win? Is it that the music that wins isn't very good music?)
And I can see the case for cinnamon buns--there's goo and icing with cinnamon buns! Mmmmmmmmmm... :) (The few times I've had soft pretzels--from kosher shops--they've been the kind that's a bit salty and you dip in mustard.)
ReRe - the winner has to host it the following year; it's expensive and doesn't bring in any real money. Also, it's often considered a bit... naff (sorry to any eurovision fans out there!). Not doing well is seen as failing, doing too well is seen as maybe being good at the things no-one really wants to be good at, and possibly trying a bit too hard.
Personally, I think it's never been the same since Terry Wogan stopped hosting it.
Terry Wogan was great. Got more and more drunk and outrageous as the night progressed.
If the acts themselves mostly are not entirely wanting to win, a drunk host sounds just about perfect. :D
Terry wogan is the only person who would ever get away with saying the things he did about eurovision acts!!!
It's a much poorer event for not having him BUT we will probably watch, the kids love the daft music, funny costumes and flashing lights!
Anonybob
I hope your JMS weekend is brilliant Greg :-)
eurovision is a scary but fun thing and no doubt most euro people will watch even if they don't admit it ;)
EBS anon
I hoping the relative quiet means a lovely evening was had in the Watson-Lestrade-Holmes home... :)
It was pretty good.
Although John told me off for acting like a farm animal when he caught me scratching my back on the door jamb. Still, I like it when he's all masterful, and he completely failed to keep his serious face on when I unleashed my charm offensive on him to get out of trouble :)
It's not going to heal if you keep on scratching the scabs off. I'm just saying.
Ha!
Although, I have to say...a door jamb? When you have the perfect reason to have John scratch your back for you? (Around the cuts, of course.) You must be REALLY tired!
It wouldn't dare not heal if you glare at it enough :)
RR - he wouldn't. He just says it'll make it worse. Doctors, huh? ;)
I think I might be going to see Mycroft on my own tomorrow, Dr slug-a-bed here won't be up in time...
how would anyone resist your charm offensive Greg? ;)
We all know you know best though John :-)
EBS anon
I would if he wanted all of us! Did he say?
He didn't. I just got a text saying 'Are you working on Saturday?' and when I said no he said he could get out of school and meet for breakfast. I tried calling earlier but it went straight to answerphone, so I sent a text. I assume he was in their 'homework' class thingy, or at dinner or someting.
He'd love to see you all John I'm sure :)
The whole family was always better than bits for me!
EBS anon
Well, if he said breakfast and not a ride I suppose I'll assume that includes everyone? I don't know, see if he texts back before tomorrow.
I'm certain EBSAnon is right, and he'd like to see all of us. If he wants to go out on the bike we can arrange another time, I'm sure. Now the evenings are longer I can always go over after school and work are done for the day.
Maybe try and go for a swim or a run tomorrow too? Could do with some excersice
looks like my brain could too... how did my fingers think that was a word?
Yeah, that'd be nice. I don't know if I've said recently, but I really love having you home three days a week.
One way or another, it sounds like it'll be a good day. :) Have fun!
(And Shabbat shalom!)
(John, you wouldn't even scratch where the scabs aren't? He can't see to do that himself, after all... *puppy eyes*)
John could always take him out on the bike? might be good for both of them to bond over fast engines ;-)
I love your spelling Greg it make me feel so much better about mine ;-)
EBS anon
I don't know if I've said recently, but I really love having you home three days a week.
You may not have said it out loud, but I got the message :)
I love being home 3 days a week. Although I will admit, given I know you know anyway, that being home doesn't mean switching off, and I know I'm still pre-occupied sometimes. But it feels like...well, feels like I'm away from work loads, and I do find it hard sometimes, when I know there are things to be done... but I do know it's the right thing to do. I love spending the time with you. I love being there to fetch Sherlock from school and hear about his day.
you are seriously the most wonderful pair you know. I don't know two men who realise how lucky they are to have what they have as you two do. the love in your household is enough to light up the world!!!
I know. It's all right, you're still here. And if you need to bring work home or anything, you know that's all right? No one's going to be upset. Well, Sherlock maybe, but he can't be the center of the world all the time.
Thanks, Anon.
Danger...I know I can bring work home. And do. And then get allangry that I have to, with all the budget cuts and the numbers dropping on the force... and people working in their down time just to pick up that slack. It's a no-win grumpy old DI situation.
Can I ask John do you leave job two at work? or do you have things to bring home? (other than job one of course) You know the fact that you work 24/7 and don't see it that way is just amazing don't you? :-)
(you work seriously hard Greg I am impressed by your commitment to both your family and trying to save the world!)
EBSanon
EBSanon - yeah, mostly. In the Army there was paperwork to fill every spare moment, of which there weren't many, but there's not quite so much now. And if there were enough that I had to be doing it at home all the time, I'd probably have to quit. Looking after the boys is my first priority.
You balance it all so well John :) I'm glad that now Sherlock is at school you can have a doctory job and use your skills while still being able to look after the boys :)
EBSA - I thought I was doing so well keeping his doctoring skills brushed up... but yeah, probably better he tends the sick at a surgery, instead of me having to go out and find trouble all the time ;)
And I'm not saving the world - not even this tiny corner of it! But possibly stopping it going down the tubes quite as fast as it might...
Danger. Bed? Before I don't make it off the sofa at all tonight...
Whatever you say Greg!!!
(I can hold a different opinion though can't I?)
Sleep well both of you and enjoy your breakfast.
Bed, yeah.
Finding trouble is not on Greg! It induces be carefuls from people and we know how much you dislike that ;-)
Sleep well both of you and I hope you have fun with mycroft in the morning :-)
Anonybob
That didn't come out in text right I don't think :(
I think the fact that you work as hard as you do shows an intention to save the world Greg and I am honored to know someone like you.
Don't go helping the doc work on his skills too much though please.
EBSAnon - I'm not sure if it came out right or not - but I certainly didn't take offense. It seems to have been a week for people flattering me :) I'm just not very good at taking praise.
It was great to see Mycroft this morning. He says next year he'll have a bit more freedom, and as the final term passes the masters are giving the boys a taste of it, and things like this are part of it - being allowed out of school and making their own arrangements. I'm really glad we're close enough to take full advantage!
I'm glad I didn't offend you by trying to be nice but doing it badly. You might have noticed I worry a bit too much sometimes.
Being close to mycroft is really good if he's going to be able to do things like have breakfast with you. I'm glad you all had fun.
Hope you have a good afternoon ahead of you.
EBSanon
I'm glad you all had a lovely breakfast with Mycroft :-) and him having more freedom to do things like that sounds like a realy good thing especially when you are so close and can get to see him :-)
How was the afternoon? I hope that was full of fun and entertainment and enough of both to wear Sherlock out for bed ;-)
Anonybob
Sounds like a happy morning! I hope the afternoon matched that. :)
Mycroft, if you read this--I hope the extra freedoms you'll have next year will help balance out some of the things you like less and make it something to look forward to a bit more.
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