21 May 2013
I believe I've waited long enough
Firstly, given other comments on John's blog:
Grate two courgettes, chuck in a bowl, mix in 5 tablespoons of flour and three eggs. Season. Chop up a pepper, maybe some onion - whatever you have, really. Chuck in a pan with a bit of oil. Throw in any extras you want - feta, halloumi, bacon, whatever. Season. Either set this aside once it's cooked, and use the same pan again, or get another pan, spoon in big spoonfuls of the courgette batter, cook, flip, cook. Eat.
I walked to and from work today. Needed to...well, get moving a bit. And it's quite nice, London, when it's quiet and the weather's half-decent.
I've been going over and over this one thing in my head.
The other day, I said to John: "Well, hope it makes it easier to understand, too, wanting to get back on when you fall off. I imagine you'd be exactly the same."
And he replied: "Yeah, but I don't need to understand really - I know you love it, that's enough."
And...yeah, I don't really have a way of explaining why that's stuck in my head, except...I'm not really sure anyone's ever felt like that, before. I mean, not so I knew about it.
I've always had a massive drive in me to please and help other people. I've got ideas where it's come from, but...well, doesn't matter, really, it's there. And sometimes it's great, because of the job, and well, it's nice to help others. Other times it's not so great, because I don't have nearly enough self preservation to balance it out. And I just feel like I've spent a lot of my life doing things because other people will approve of them.
So to have John, who just, sort of, approves of me, being me, well...it's pretty special. Pretty amazing.
That amazing boyfriend of mine took Mycroft cupcakes today. And got told off for loitering around school in lunch hour ;) We only have six cupcakes left now. Possibly five or four quite soon....
We're going to Italy next week! Next week. Soon. I'm having my hair cut tomorrow, because it's a bit of a mess. And we've pretty much sorted most other things, except picking up a few Euros.
I'm really looking forward to it. With a slight bit of...trepidation. Because it really is the closest place to my heart. And...well, because it's one of the few places in the world I always worry I might bump into my Father. Not sure I'd recognise him, though. But...yeah, his home town. And a small place. Chance always crosses my mind. This time, however, I would be happy for him to see what my life has become without him.
Have a picture (not taken by me) of some of the rooftops in the city. It's a crazy mess of buildings. A complete maze. I love it.