11 May 2013

Or maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know wrong from right

We had to give Mycroft back to school :(

Obviously we knew we had to - we were lucky he could even get away for the night, really.

Our fifteen year old takes his first exam - Astronomy - on Wednesday, and he still has all his usual schoolwork to do, so...well, yes.

He really is a complete joy to be around. He's clever, witty, funny, good for a conversation, just...well, a great young man. We're very lucky to know him.

At the allotment yesterday, well, I know we're probably a bit of a shock to the general gardening population up there. Sherlock's a shock to most people, frankly. And John and I haven't exactly been...subtle about our relationship. But, you know, why should we be? So that guy yesterday, it was a bit of s surprise, mainly because I was with the boys. I'd half been expecting something like it when it was just me and John.

I didn't really know what to say to him. I was about to get in his face and tell him what I thought, and pull my warrant card if he got nasty... but then Mycroft starts talking, totally calmly, really polite, telling him it was inappropriate to use such language in front of Sherlock, that his homophobia was not acceptable, and that any private relationship between John and me had nothing to do with him anyway.

I'm just so constantly impressed by how grown up and sensible he is. Completely level-headed. He's honestly one of the best people I know to talk to, because you know everything he says is so considered, but also from the heart.


Mum's home. Not in 'a home' but back in her own. Nicky had some advice, and they've fitted the place with some grab rails, things to make it easier for her to get about. I know I need to go and visit, but I'm not sure when I'll have a chance. Nicky's been there, Rach has, too, but they're both busy.

She said Mum's glad to be home, but...I don't know, must be a bit odd, being alone. I know she doesn't like it. I suppose I'm just worried what she'll do. Think about it a lot. One of the ways we're similar is not being so good with our own company all the time.

93 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

You could write your mum maybe? I know it's not the same as a visit, but she might like a welcome home card, something like that.

Mycroft was great with that man. Amazingly calm.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, and happy birthday, Ro, if you're reading this - I'm pretty sure you said your birthday was the day after Mycroft's, so I hope it was a good one. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah - happy birthday Ro!

You're right, John. I should write to her. And call her. And do my best not to annoy her when I do.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sorry. I'm you'd thought of that on your own. Just...trying to be helpful.

Greg Lestrade said...

I actually hadn't thought about writing to her. Because these days everything email and texts and...well, she doesn't do those. I will, though. You are helpful, always. Just by...being here and understanding, and not expecting me just to get on with life as if nothing's happening.

pandabob said...

Writing a letter to your mum is a great idea Greg. When I first moved away from home, on my own and quite a distance away, my grandparents sent me a postcard every Tuesday from wherever they'd been on their weekly trip and it felt really nice to know that someone was think about me.

You think about your mum a lot but she doesn't know that because she's not a mind reader but maybe if you sent her the odd letter or card she would see that you're thinking about her as well as it being a sort of reminder that people are 'keeping an eye on her' in a very un threatening way. :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

That was nice of them, AnonyBob. I'd never quite thought of it like that.

I suppose I manage to write this every day, shouldn't be so hard to write to her once a week, should it?

John H. D. Watson said...

my grandparents sent me a postcard every Tuesday from wherever they'd been on their weekly trip

That is really nice. :)

pandabob said...

It was very nice of them and I got pictures of places near home as well :-)

I'm sure you can get cards and stuff from lots of places you wander past when you're out and about Greg and you don't need to write much on a postcard sized thing but it says a lot more that you bothered to send it at all :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, you're right. You lot might have to remind me occasionally, though ;)

I don't want to go to work tomorrow - it's meant to be a nice day! Not like the sudden torrential rain we had here this evening.

pandabob said...

don't go, no one will notice ;-)

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha - I wish! The rate people are stabbing each other around this city at the moment, though, I sadly think they would.

pandabob said...

well that was my only idea I'm afraid ;-)

you make London sound like such a lovely place to visit!!

Greg Lestrade said...

I know - sorry! It's nothing for most people to worry about. But it's a headache for us, working out how on earth we can stop it.

rsf said...

I'm glad your mom has been able to go back to her own home, but I understand why you might be concerned about her being alone. I think she'd like letters or postcards very much. My older relations all seem to think that email isn't quite real.

If you want some amusements for Sherlock as he gets impatient for the holidays, try this link. http://world.time.com/timelapse/ It's animations of satellite photography taken over the last forty years. They've got some showpieces, but you can pick any place in the world to see how it's changed if you like.

Greg Lestrade said...

I hope she will. Hope it'll help me to send them, too. Feel a bit like I'm doing something other than lying awake thinking about what to do. Like now. Which doesn't help anyone.

Kestrel337 said...

Sorry you are having a rough night. I know that hardest part of sending any sort of communication to people I'm 'complicated' with, is figuring out what to say. Postcards are a great idea because of the limited space.

Or maybe printouts of cell phone snaps of some of the little things you see when you are out and about? A flower, a pretty leaf or interesting shadow or whatever and just a few words to let her know you are thinking about her.

I hope you've gotten to sleep; I can't do the math in my head to figure out the time stamp and difference when I'm medicated to the gills.

ro said...

Cheers for the birthday wishes, guys! (And RR, too - thanks!)

I celebrated my birthday by going to the marriage equality rally here in Melbourne. I went with a bunch of my workmates. My boss came with his wife & kids. It was a good turnout! Very colourful, too!

Then I took inspiration from you guys and made pizza for dinner and followed with Eton Mess :)

Glad your mum is home, L. I think the card is a great idea - everyone loves getting mail! I don't know about over there, but here Australia Post have a postcard app - they will make and send postcards for you from photos you take on your phone. Very convenient, and while it removes the personal touch of handwriting, it gives the personal touch of using photos you've taken in your day to day life! Pretty cool, I think.

And now, since it's Mothers' Day here, I'd better go ring mine.

Greg Lestrade said...

I got some sleep, yeah, thanks.

Sounds like a lovely day, Ro. I don't think Royal Mail are quite that advanced though. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

...weird things happen to lots of people in the street, right? Sometimes I feel like I have more than my fair share.

John H. D. Watson said...

...What happened?

Greg Lestrade said...

A middle aged lady, smartly dressed, chased me down the street, stopped me, told me she could see in my eyes I was a messenger from God, with the eyes of an angel, and asked me to bless her. So, you know, I said 'I bless you'. Then she said she needed something of mine to keep as a sign.

It was...peculiar. I'm fairly sure I'm not an angel.

Oh, and she asked me the way to heaven.

pandabob said...

Yeah stuff like that happens all the time to lots of people ;-)

You really do attract the weird and wonderful people of the world don't ya :-)

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm fairly sure I'm not an angel.

I don't know about that... ;)

Did you give her something? And if so, what?

Greg Lestrade said...

If I am, I want wings.

I didn't think I had anything - apart from lunch I just bought. So I offered her my banana, which she accepted gratefully. But then I realised I had my keys, so I gave her that odd little oval metal key ring that was on them. And I had my banana for lunch.

John H. D. Watson said...

Good choice. She might've kept the banana until it rotted, and that's just a waste of a good banana.

Apparently at some point in the night I set my phone to remind me about 'Sergeant Giraffe' today. Any idea what I meant?

Greg Lestrade said...

I know when you did it, but not why.

You turned to me in the night, very seriously said 'giraffes have long necks', paused, wagged your finger in my face, continued with 'just like swans' and then did something with your phone.

John H. D. Watson said...

Just like swans...right. Of course I did. At least I only set a reminder and didn't decide to sleep-email someone about it.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm glad you set a reminder. It seemed very important.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure it was. Can't forget about Sgt. Giraffe.

Anon Without A Name said...

I'm feeling sorry for poor forgotten Cpl Swan.

John H. D. Watson said...

Maybe it was notes for my first novel...Animal Army.

Greg Lestrade said...

Are long necks an advantage? Good for lookouts, bad for keeping your head down?

John H. D. Watson said...

Swans for aerial surveillance? And flying at people's heads?

Greg Lestrade said...

And breaking people's arms? ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah. Vicious bastards.

Sherlock wants to tell you everything in the world about chicks. Do you want to get coffee or would you prefer a series of excited texts?

Greg Lestrade said...

I can probably manage a coffee. If he talks fast. He said their wings are starting to get feathery the other day.

John H. D. Watson said...

He's been doing research. I think talking fast (and nonstop) is inevitable.

Greg Lestrade said...

Well if you come to the coffee shop by the yard, Maria was asking after you both earlier. Said she's invented a special drink for Sherlock. So he will need to stop long enough to try it.

Sherlock said...

We will leave right now, what is it do you know??

Greg Lestrade said...

I think she said coffee, ice cream, two sorts of chocolate and whipped cream... You better ask her really really politely for it.

Sherlock said...

I will!!!

Greg Lestrade said...

Good boy. I'll see you there soon.

REReader said...

Oh, wow, that drink sounds amazing! Enjoy, Sherlock. :)

Hey, L, maybe you are a messenger of God--who's to say you'd know? ;)

Kestrel337 said...

You took her seriously, gave her the comfort she obviously needed at the moment, didn't shrug her off. Sounds pretty angelic to me.

That drink sounds really fabulous.

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - I'm not sure I'd be that good a messenger, given I don't even believe in a God.

Kestrel - yeah, we'll I hope it's just human to be nice to people! :)

Sherlock managed to stop talking to drink his drink, at least! It was decaf, but you wouldn't know it, the way he was bouncing about.

REReader said...

(Chocolate has caffeine, too. :))

Greg Lestrade said...

I know. Not really comparable amounts, though. And half of it was white chocolate. More that he believed it would have, and the sugar, I imagine.

pandabob said...

That drink sounds lovely and Sherlock might just have had an energy boost from the fact that someone was so nice as to make a special drink for him :-)

Sherlock I have a chicken fact for you, Chickens like to eat small children, only those under 3 though so you're safe :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBpb - seems fair, as lots of small children like eating chicken!

Danger, Sherlock, want me to get anything for dinner?

REReader said...

He said their wings are starting to get feathery the other day.

Sherlock, are their feathers all coming in the same, or are the chicks all different from each other?

John H. D. Watson said...

No, we're all right thanks. Sorry, didn't see that earlier. Sherlock wants peas, but we have some.

Greg Lestrade said...

Non problem. You could have just sent a message via him upstairs, you know? I have good connections...

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock says I can't be an angel without a halo like his.

Anonymous said...

must be a bit odd, being alone. I know she doesn't like it.

Might your mum consider a pet? A dog might be too much, needing to be walked and all, but a cat would be easier to take care of, and would be company for her.


RR - I'm not sure I'd be that good a messenger, given I don't even believe in a God.

Ah, but the question is not whether you believe in God but whether God believes in you!

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - I hadn't thought of anything like that. I'll talk to Nicky about it.

As for God... Certainly hasn't felt like it most of my life! But recently he's sent me some guardian angels of my own, or Mes Holmes did, anyway, and I believe in her ;)

pandabob said...

Its better to believe in someone you know exists rather than taking a punt on God I'd say Greg :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

I think Mrs H has more power over us mere mortals too, AnonyBob. ;)

pandabob said...

I very sure you're right Greg!

I hope you've had a reasonable day and that you've all had a nice evening :-)

Greg Lestrade said...

We have, cheers. Hope you have too. Bit knackered now, which is scary, after one day back at work!

Anonymous said...

...I don't see anyone scoffing at your belief systems. How is it acceptable for you to be distespecful of other people's beliefs?

Greg Lestrade said...

I wasn't intending to be disrespectful. Sorry if it came across that way. If I'm wrong and there is an almighty who'd like to punish non-believers I'm sure he/she will have the last laugh.

Greg Lestrade said...

...actually, I don't know what I've done wrong. You'll have to be more specific if I'm to learn from this. I really don't know which bit of what I've said is disrespectful, sorry, so I can't say I won't do it again until I know what I did this time.

Anonymous said...

Its better to believe in someone you know exists rather than taking a punt on God I'd say Greg :-)

12 May 2013 22:30
Greg Lestrade said...
I think Mrs H has more power over us mere mortals too, AnonyBob. ;)


It's not disrespectful to say you don't believe in God if you don't--that's honest. Being jokingly dismissive of the very real beliefs of others is not on, however IMO.

spandrella said...

But isn't there a difference between being dismissive of an idea you don't believe in, and being dismissive of the people who believe it?

I think there's also a difference between being dismissive on a blog (where the audience is different) and being dismissive or rude in person. Lestrade treated the woman today respectfully; I would rather have someone be respectful of people and dismissive of ideas than the other way around.

Anonymous said...

And the religious people who read and/or comment here are not worthy of respect? Because that exchange was dismissive of all of all of them.

spandrella said...

You are worthy of respect (obviously), but as Lestrade wasn't addressing you, I don't see how you, as an individual person, was disrespected. You have beliefs; you are not your beliefs. Dismissing a belief does not (necessarily) equate to disrespecting you (though the one can certainly turn in to the other).

And I'd like to back up even one step further, because I don't know if I grant your premise that being jocular about God necessarily means dismissive or disrespectful.

And I'm a religious person too, fwiw. So let's not act like Lestrade violated some objective standard of offensiveness, because he didn't. You can talk about how his comments made you feel (and I'm sure he'll respond to them when he's awake), but please don't presume to speak for all religious folks.

Piplover said...

I'm religious, Anon, and I'm not offended by the above exchange. Just because I believe in something doesn't mean I should expect others to as well. If Lestrade doesn't believe in God, then his lack of belief and his ability to joke about it is just as valid as anyone's hell and brimstone.

Not everyone is religious, and I don't think it's fair to make someone, on their own blog, sugarcoat their feelings.

REReader said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
REReader said...

Hey! Who the heck is posting under my name? I'm not getting involved in this one--and I resent my being dragged into it.

I'm changing my password RIGHT NOW.

REReader said...

(L, do you log ip addresses? I'd appreciate it if you could check where that was coming from when you have a chance.)

Anonymous said...

Oh. Sorry about that. I was checking out the different posters and poking around, and some emails and passwords are easy to guess. I didn't mean to post as anyone else, though.

Anyway, my comment, now deleted, was that spandrella--not Piplover, my mistake--said

I would rather have someone be respectful of people and dismissive of ideas than the other way around

And my response was that people online are not ideas, they are people, and they are not less human just because they are physically elsewhere.


[Its a good idea to change passwords regularly. And even better to get a program to generate them. Especially when you use your username as your email.]

This gets the eyebrow said...

So ... Greg joking about the power of Mrs H is offensive, but it's okay for you to hack people's passwords? You're weird, Anon.

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, sorry, I'm still a bit lost.

I just...don't entirely get how me stating my position (that Mrs H has more power and influence over my life than any gods do) is disrespectful to anyone who believes in a god. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm not saying anyone else shouldn't believe in whatever they choose to.

Anonymous said...

Actually, of all the comments on this, the one I found offensive was the 'Does god believe in you' which shows a lack of respect for L's view that god doesn't exist, whereas all that Greg said was that he didn't believe, not that anyone else was wrong for believing.

The one I found utterly bizarre, and utterly disrespectful to the people involved was that someone might decide it was OK to go into someone's profile etc. 'to check out the different posters'. I suppose that the person who hacks (and sits behind 'anonymous')was hoping to either take part in some 'sock puppet theatre' or prove that there was some going on. Tough luck with that I would guess.

Lancs. Anon

REReader said...

Lancs--I don't know how many Anons there were posting here, or which were the same as which (confusing!), but I I do know that I've run into the "it's not whether you believe in G-d etc" thing a lot in real life, and, for what its worth, I have the impression it's a sort of catch phrase in some circles.

Small Hobbit said...

Okay, did I post about Sergeant Giraffe, or have the Zombies finally got my brain? Probably best not to answer that ;)

Greg Lestrade said...

Zombies or Sherlock. Both like brains.

spandrella said...

And my response was that people online are not ideas, they are people, and they are not less human just because they are physically elsewhere.

I'm sorry, I think you misunderstood my comment (not entirely surprising as I addressed about four different ideas, and none of them very clearly).

I was not saying that people online are ideas. I was referring to the difference between Lestrade treating the woman yesterday with respect, and not laughing at her or giving her a hard time because she was a bit mad or because she believed in God. Coming home and talking abstractly about God is talking about an idea. And even then, he wasn't dismissive of people that feel differently, just dismissive of its influence in his own life.

But either way, I'm done with this. Maybe you need to spend a little less energy being offended and a little more energy picking up on some of your religion's ethics, if you wander around online guessing at peoples' passwords. That's far more disrespectful than anything Lestrade said.

Greg Lestrade said...

Given that I've been exposed to some really highly offensive 'religious' beliefs in my life (offensive to me personally, that is) I like to think I've done a half decent job of separating out, in my mind, the people who have said those things from the religion they assign their particular beliefs to. I know I don't always manage it. But I also know plenty of people who are part of the same religion, but would condemn the people who have offended me.

But I also know I don't 'get' it. I don't understand a lot of the fundamentals of religions, so I'm aware I might unintentionally cause offence to some people.

pandabob said...

I'm 99% sure I caused the offense not you Greg which is sad because I thought it was only a lighthearted conversation between friends rather than something someone could be upset by.

I'm sorry anon that you were offended by my comment.

Greg Lestrade said...

I dunno, AnonyBob. I still don't get it, clearly.

I don't see how if we're not supposed to be offended by people believing in a god (which I don't think any of us are?) anyone can really be offended by us 'believing in' other people. I actually find it more insulting when people put actions/results/outcomes down to some 'greater power' rather than someones own actions, if I'm honest.

But I obviously don't think that everyone should feel as I do.

rsf said...

Well, I wasn't offended by you, L, if that means anything. I did get a bit narked off by Anon raising a fuss, which is why I didn't comment on it last night. It meant I couldn't crack wise about the foolishness of invoking Mrs. H!

On other topics, I think a cat might be a good idea for your mom, unless she dislikes them on principle. There was a study fairly recently about how cats interact with people, especially women. Besides, it gives her something to blame when she hears a strange noise in the middle of the night. Living alone has its worrisome moments!

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, I dont know. In Nicky's words "she couldn't look after her kids or herself, you think an animal's a good idea?"

I'm sure we'll talk about it more. She does have people visiting - nurses, carers, meals on wheels, that sort of thing.

REReader said...

It's a question, the idea of a cat, and there are definitely pros and cons--all the studies showing that pets are good for people's health and the company they provide vs. the care they need--and I guess you'll have to see how things shake down. I'm sure it's a relief to your mother to be home, but possibly a bit scary, too.

rsf said...

Well, cats are pretty good at manipulating people (at least in the sense of conveying what they want) so she might find that the cat calls the tuna.

;D

Greg Lestrade said...

Not quite sure how I'd feel if a cat succeeded where five kids failed.

REReader said...

If the kids give her the cat and it works, it would be the kids succeeding, no? :)

Whether a cat would be good for her...People differ. I still regret not talking my mother into getting my grandmother a cat after my grandfather died--but then, my grandmother used to tell me about how she made one of the outdoor cats into a pet over her mother's objections (with her father's support!), and it was pretty much the only thing she'd say about her childhood, so I feel pretty sure she'd have wanted one. My mother would never want a cat under any circumstances, however--she doesn't like them at all, and she has no interest in caring for an animal, so.


(My captcha started with a nice capitalized "Lord"...pushy! But I'm still not getting into that. :D)

pandabob said...

I think Nicky has a good point about the cat but if your mum does want a pet and manages to look after it do your best to see it as a sign of a chance of a better future Greg rather than that the pet succeeded where you lot didn't (I'm not suggesting that would be an easy way to look at it though.)

I hope you've had a decent day :-)



Anonymous said...

There's that, anony, but also kids need more than cats do. And strokes change things. A focus outside herself would be good, if she doesn't do well alone.

Greg Lestrade said...

AnonyBob - think I'm struggling with that already, just with the idea of it, to be honest. I know it's silly...but humans are.

pandabob said...

Its not silly Greg its how you feel and you're allowed to feel however you feel.

Its a tricky time but it'll all work out in the end one way or the other :-)

REReader said...

You're entitled. You feel what you feel.

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