Sherlock asked to go out for cake today, after school.
Made me think. Some countries have wet and dry seasons. Some hot and cold. Sherlock has cake and ice cream seasons. I reckon About October-April is Cake, May-September is Ice Cream.
Obviously, it can Cake in the Ice Cream season, and it can Ice Cream in the Cake season. And sometimes, there's a rare beautiful phenomenon of the ice-cream-on-cake, which creates a proper feast.
I think I'm going to go back to work on Thursday. I feel like if I leave it any longer it'll be harder. Like I should throw myself back in again.
Being scared is just...shit, really. Especially when I know he's not even out there now. I'm still sleeping with the light on. Except I don't actually sleep very well with it on. Probably wouldn't anyway. I usually like it really dark when I sleep. But right now 'really dark' means I start thinking about everything far too much and get scared that I can't tell if it's John next to me and all sorts of other stupid things. So the light stays on.
I haven't been scared and actually had time to think about it in a long while. I've been scared, briefly, in the car crash, things like that, but there was alwas something bigger going on. Something to do.
I think the thing I thought about most when I was in that room was that these days I have so much to lose. Last time I had a lot of time to dwell on it I didn't feel like I had anything much worth living for. Gave an odd sort of bravado, that feeling.
I'm very glad that this time I did have, and it gave me the determination to try anything I could to get away or fight or just do anything. And it worked.
Mycroft's been far too modest about what he did to find me. He was amazing. I still don't really understand how he can work out where someone is that quickly, but he can. And he just shrugged afterward and said that anyone could have done it. I've no idea what his future holds, but he will be so dedicated, and so wonderful, at whatever he chooses.