12 December 2011

Do you believe in Father Christmas?

I was going to start posting a few of my favourite Christmas songs. And after today, this one seemed apt. I'm afraid I go for the downbeat songs...not many of mine are happy jingly choices.






As some of you will have read, Sherlock decided to hold a seminar in the school playground today - Why Santa Can't Exist (You Idiots) - (okay, that last bit was implied). He told all the little kids that there was no way Father Christmas could get around the world fast enough and all sorts of things, all based in scientific fact.

Of course, they're all intelligent children, so their beliefs were ripped to shreds in front of their eyes. Poor things.

Mrs T told Sherlock off a bit, he tried to get me to arrest her...ah, happy days.

My arrest went well today. Caught the bloke, not only for murder, but also possession with intent. An added bonus. Downside was we had to batter through his door. Which was very hard work. Feel like I've wrenched my arms off.

But John is about to kiss that better. Whilst I return the favour and kiss his bum better where he took the boys ice skating and fell over a lot. It won't be a chore...

129 comments:

REReader said...

You are both very self-sacrificing. It's positively inspiring. :)

Small Hobbit said...

This has to be one of my favourite Christmas songs. That and Slade - yes, I know there's no comparison! Greg Lake's words are just so right.

Greg Lestrade said...

Oh, Slade is up there in my top 5, don't you worry! I just thought I'd put a variety up, between now and Christmas.

Seriously, who doesn't love Slade??

RR, I know.

(I'm blogging from the bath. Control yourselves at that thought.)

Anonymous said...

Did you know that The Wurzels have a Christmas album?

REReader said...

I'm blogging from the bath.

I do that too, but that's much less....interesting. :)


I love sampling everyone's holiday songs! I do it on my blog, and another website I blog for, too. (Of course, on my blog I mostly use Chanukah songs. Fair warning!)

REReader said...

Did you know that The Wurzels have a Christmas album?

Did you know that the Barenaked Ladies have a Hanukkah EP? :D

Sometimes I think every musician of any type is required by law to put out at least one holiday album during the course of their career.

Greg Lestrade said...

Anon - I did know that! But I don't own it...

RR - jolly good. It's one way to get into the mood.

The weather here is horrible. Just want to cuddle up and stay warm.

REReader said...

It is! I've been playing holiday music all day.

Well, then--cuddle up and stay warm! Surely you needn't go anywhere tonight, and you have several cuddle options available to you right where you are. (Assuming you've got out of the tub. If not, you have A cuddle option.)

Greg Lestrade said...

I would stay in here...but Sherlock is outside demanding a story, so I need to get out.

Then I can settle down with Danger

REReader said...

The weather here is horrible.

Frightful.

REReader said...

Ah, well.

If you get out, the dogs can join in the cuddle, too!

Nony Mouse x said...

Aww, I was only listening to that song today, it's one of my favourites :) also, I know it's quite wrong to encourage such things, but I did have a little giggle at the thought of Sherlock dashing the hopes and dreams of a bunch of small children, only because I did exactly the same thing at his age. I never got caught though, haha!

On another note, a nice warm bath sounds rather nice right about now, the weather is absolutely minging!! I dread to look outside tomorrow morning :S I'm sure half the street will have blown into my garden :(

REReader said...

"minging"?

(Autocorrect is quite adamant that that ought to be "mingling.")

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - another of my favourites.

Nony Mouse - yeah, windy and rainy and just generally vile.

RR - Minging means horrible...roughly speaking, in this context. Often means ugly though, or...undesirable. (this is me trying to be delicate) I'm sure Google could answer better.

Desert Wanderer said...

Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad.

REReader said...

L-- :)

(I was once on a subway when two Hell's Angels--or wannabes--in full gear (leathers, bandanas, studded leather wrist guards, tattoos, the lot) got on. Once everyone shuffled over to give them plenty of room, I found I could easily hear what they were talking about--and it was how Frank Sinatra was heads and shoulders the best singer ever.)

And thanks for the translation!

LOL, DW! (Did you know that the grownup Alexander has admitted to being quite tired of being asked how his day is going? :D)

Anon Without A Name said...

Control yourselves at that thought.

t's been a bad day - II'm making no promises ;-)

If you like seasonal melancholia, have you tried Tom McRae's version of Wonderful Christmastime? http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=bCVi5Tn2SJc

Nony Mouse x said...

Haha! Windy and rainy is putting it mildly, I was looking on the met office earlier, I love how on Thursday and Friday, the vast majority of Britain has a yellow "be aware" blob over it :D (although with our weather office's track record, probably to be taken with a pinch of salt, lol, still! Should be interesting :D)

Desert Wanderer said...

Awww, Nameless. What happened?

Anon Without A Name said...

DW - nothing terrible :-) Bad anniversary (it's OK, I have a Good Anniversary tomorrow) putting a shadow over things, plus people being jerks, and a very long day at work... Am being treated to pizza and chips and cold dry wine which helps muchly. Not commenting on the restorative properties of the image of wet'n'nekkid DIs, uh huh :-p

Thank you <3

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry you had a bad day. If Sherlock is to be believed, pizza will make most days better.

I'm not commenting on on any images you may have of old blokes in the bath. All I can say is I get even more wrinkled than usual in there. It's not pretty.

Thanks for the link - I'll watch it tomorrow.

And Nony, yeah, riding the bike in the wind and rain and London traffic isn't my favourite thing to do. People are idiots.

Desert Wanderer said...

\o/ for Good Anniversaries, pizza, chips, wine, good friends, and cute DIs/doctors.

Anon Without A Name said...

Lestrade - oh hush, you're not old. You can't be, you're younger than my lovely husband, and only three years older than me (although less grey, judging by the photo.

Pizza definitely helped. The wine helped more :-)

Anon Without A Name said...

DW - how was your weekend?

Greg Lestrade said...

Nameless - all right, I'll take your word for it. I'm not old. (only as old as the doctor I'm feeling,anyway.)

Glad wine and pizza worked for you. Hope tomorrow is lovely.

Yeah, DW, you obviously survived the weekend...did everyone else? Hope it wasn't too bad.

Desert Wanderer said...

About as expected. Long and painful.

Greg Lestrade said...

I know how that feels.

Wait, from me, that probably sounds all wrong...

you have my sympathy. Have you been left in peace again now? Well done for surviving.

dw said...

No they called to check on my dig to make sure I "havent forgotten how to care for something other Than myself"

dw said...

Dog

innie said...

Popping in quickly (why does everything get so busy in mid-December?!?) to say hi to everyone and to point this out to you, Sherlock. If I were anywhere near you, I'd draw one of these (your choice) on each of your cheeks so that you looked appropriately festive for your school concert.

Desert Wanderer said...

Innie! You were my captcha again yesterday. "innies" So jealous.

Tink said...

Oh Innie! Those are gorgeous!

Sherlock: That was... not nice, nor fair. That's all I'm going to say on the matter, as you've probably heard it all from Mrs T, John, and Greg.

Greg: Glad the arrest went well! Hope the arm feels better shortly!

Sherlock said...

It's not nice or fair to lie.

Calliope said...

Sherlock...you're up a bit early, yeah?

REReader said...

You definitely have a point, Sherlock, and I agree with you--lying is wrong.

I'm sure John explained to you why some of the other children were upset, and why it is sometimes better to let people believe in things that aren't so. Sometimes people's feelings trump truth. (This is an idea I wrestle with myself, but I know it's true, even though it can be hard to know which to do when. You're lucky to have John and Lesteade and Mycroft to ask when you aren't sure.)

I am, however, absolutely sure that you didn't mean to upset anyone, so I wouldn't say it was not nice. Intentions matter, too.

Now please go back to bed, it's too early to be up and online. (It's night here in New York--11:30--and I'm going to bed soon myself.)

REReader said...

I seem to be falling asleep a bit earlier than usual, so I'll just wish my favorite early birds a good morning and turn in. Have a happy day!

(Did Sherlock go back to sleep? And is he still upset? I think Tink didn't see the comments on John's blog and misunderstood the situation.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Sherlock is back asleep. I have no idea why he was awake.

Greg Lestrade said...

Tink - arms a bit achey, but at least I know a lovely doctor. And I think Sherlock understands, sort of...

He's just cycling through being excited about Christmas, Mycroft, holidays and everything and being grumpy because...well, because he can be.

He clambered into our bed when he wrote that message, but said nothing was wrong...so.

Tink said...

Enjoy the sleep gents. I'm too keyed up for too many reasons to do so myself at the moment. Though I'm too tired to get into it with a pint sized genius why it wasn't nice or fair in the first place.

Greg: Your doctor really is first rate. Hope your arm is back in working order by the time you read this!

Greg Lestrade said...

Where pint sized geniuses are concerned, sometimes it's better to say your piece and leave him to mull it over. Arguing about it tends to make him defend his position even more strongly, (even when sometimes you think he might think he's wrong...he won't back down.) I do think he understands why the other kids were upset now, even if he doesn't entirely agree that he was wrong to out this big lie they're all being told...

And thanks. Itis still in working order, just a few sore muscles!

Hope you get some sleep soon.

Anon Without A Name said...

DW, Lestrade - thank you :-) Planning a fun outing to a German Christmas market after work (well, as fun as you can have when the weather's cold and wet and blowy and... British). There will be mulled wine, oh yes.

DW - sorry your weekend was painful; very glad you've survived with sanity intact :-)

(Captcha is turning philosophical - it says "exist")

Desert Wanderer said...

Ooooh. German Christmas markets! Lovely. :). Have fun!

Lestrade, I neglected to say.that that's a wonderful song. Thanks for introducing me to it.

Mrs Hudson said...

Goodness, you know, this reminds me of when young Sherlock first found out that Father Christmas wasn't real. I can't remember quite what it was now. Something to do with the way the presents were wrapped, I think.

You've never seen such a face on a young boy. Of course, it wasn't that Father Christmas wasn't real that bothered him - it was that we all knew that and he had only just worked it out.

He didn't speak to Mycroft clear through until the New Year.

I'm very much looking forward to spending Christmas with the boys again. And the two of you, of course. It doesn't seem a year ago that the two of you were still courting.

I'll be making some of my special Mince Pies.

Greg Lestrade said...

I think I'm glad I wasn't there, Mrs H.

And you're an incurable old romantic.

Whats special about the pies? Or shouldnt I ask...

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure it's just that they're very tasty. Right, Mrs H?

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, you're so trusting.

Was Sherlock okay, after his visit to us in the night? Went to school okay?

John H. D. Watson said...

Optimistic!

Well, he went to school. I'm not sure about okay.

REReader said...

It was quite startling to see him online at that hour--I was a bit worried.

What did Mrs. T say about fairy wings for the concert?

Greg Lestrade said...

Any idea what's up with him?

John H. D. Watson said...

RR - she has no problem with them. He'll be standing enough apart from the others that knocking into other people with them shouldn't be an issue.

L - overexcited about Christmas and the show and Mycroft being home, combined with things not being perfect (i.e. the way he wants them to be). And he really has a lot of trouble with the idea of lying being okay for any reason, and even more so with being told off at school for telling the truth.

Greg Lestrade said...

Poor kid. Adults are so bloody confusing, aren't they?

You and Mycroft having a good day?

REReader said...

:) for the wings.

It's no bad thing to have a strong sense of justice/injustice, but it's not comfortable, either. I hope Sherlock'll either work this out or talk to you about it some more.

John H. D. Watson said...

RR - especially not when you're six and just trying to understand how the world works.

L - pretty good. Just picked up Sherlock and we're walking the dogs. Or the dogs are walking us. How about you?

REReader said...

Too true, John. Good thing he has the best help. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Tired, achey. On the horns of a dilemma.

REReader said...

Dilemma? Wanna share?

John H. D. Watson said...

What dilemma is that?

Anonymous said...

I hope it's nothing serious, but the way you phrased that reminded me of this sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MaBQn56Ydw

Greg Lestrade said...

Nicky rang. Mum was going to go to Danny's for Christmas - obviously not happening now. Nicky's got the inlaws, everyone else is busy/full.

So she asked if we could take her.

But it's my first Christmas off work in forever, my first one with you lot, and I really really don't want the stress.

Given we're taking in half of London I feel like an arsehole saying no. But I think I have to.

Piplover said...

I'm so sorry you're having the dilema, Greg. I know a lot of people would tell you to say yes, regardless, but I hope you do say no.

Family is family, yes. But sometimes you have to say no. Blood is not an obligation, and for your own happiness, and peace, it is not your responsibility.

Also, it sounds like the boys didn't get along great with her. And since it is your home, and theirs, it shouldn't matter what others think. If your mother would cause a disruption and destroy the peace, then I think you're right in saying no.

If I've overstepped, I'm sorry. But I think sometimes we need to hear it's all right to say no.

John H. D. Watson said...

I know it's a hard decision and a difficult situation. Whatever you decide to do I'll back you up of course. You can always say we've all got the plague.

Scottish Anon said...

Ah, yes, families, who'd have them?

We have a similar situation at ours. My gran isn't the nicest/most tactful of people at the best of times (putting it politely; 'the root of all evil' is my mum's usual phrasing), and at christmas, after a few glasses of bubby, she's even worse.

The last time she was over for xmas (about 5 years ago, I think) it was a disaster: my mum ended up almost in tears, my dad got paralytic and my older cousins and I just said 'sod it' and buggered off to the pub...

Since then my dad's just gone to visit her on xmas eve with presents and they have nice meal out. Safer all round!

Small Hobbit said...

I'm with Piplover. You don't need the stress. After all that you've been through this year you deserve an enjoyable Christmas, without being constantly on edge. So for once Lestallion go with what you want.

Greg Lestrade said...

Piplover - you haven't overstepped. It's what I needed to hear, really. I feel bad for her, but just thinking about her giving Mrs Holmes child rearing advice, or trying to talk to the boys, or asking Harry why she hasn't married a nice young man yet...fills me with dread. Plus I'll be at work some of the time, depending how long she'd be staying, and it's not fair on John and the boys.

Saying all that... I think I'll phone her now.

REReader said...

I was just coming to say--there's no right answer here, so go with your gut.

Piplover said...

It's not an easy situation, and you have my complete sympathy, Lestrade. Perhaps just calling her on Christmas day for a long talk, or visiting her before or after Christmas would help?

Greg Lestrade said...

I think we're off her Christmas card list.

Piplover - right now her sobering up would help. Still, reinforced every reason I had for not wanting her here.

John H. D. Watson said...

Her and Mrs Holmes together for any length of time... Yeah, genuinely terrifying. Hadn't thought about that.

Greg Lestrade said...

Isn't it? Well...those ten minutes on the phone were worth avoiding her for days on end in person.

REReader said...

That had to be unpleasant and upsetting. And I bet you also feel a bit guilty for feeling relieved that she won't be coming, despite knowing you needn't be.

((((hugs))))

Anonymous said...

It's a funny thing Lestrade but I suspect you've been the adult in that relationship since you were about ten. You could just look at it as 'well, you're all grown up now and you can fly on your own!'

John H. D. Watson said...

I think you made the right choice, for what it's worth. I'm not sure she would've had a very good time anyway.

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - actually, after that, not guilty at all.

Danger - she's of the same opinion. If we're 'too stuck up' to have her to stay then she doesn't want to come and 'play happy families with a couple of queers' - although despite that, I'm still an 'ungrateful bastard'. So the rest of us will just have to try and have fun without her sparkling good cheer.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sorry, love. Come home soon so I can hug you, all right?

REReader said...

I don't have words.

I was wrong--there was a right answer, and you SO picked it.

Greg Lestrade said...

Not that it's a defence, but she was drunk. Probably won't remember any of it in the morning.

Be back in a bit, John. Anything you or the boys want?

John H. D. Watson said...

Just you.

Greg Lestrade said...

RR - on the bright side, as I said, there is no guilt.

REReader said...

There's a Hebrew saying (it's in the Talmud) that an adult shows their true character "B'koso, b'kiso, ub'ka'aso"--how they behave when drunk, in money matters, and when angry.

So no, not a defense.

REReader said...

And not a bad silver lining. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, she was showing her true colours. I don't know, I suppose you get used to it. I think I have. Another reason I didn't want her here.

Leaving now, Danger. Prepare to be hugged.

Greg Lestrade said...

Ha, Sherlock just gave me a hug and said he was glad she wasn't coming, but if she had come he thinks John would have kicked her, not just him.

I'm a lucky bloke.

Greg Lestrade said...

err...John would have kicked *her too*...I don't mean John would kick Sherlock, obviously.

REReader said...

You have quite a set of protectors there, Lestrade. :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Yeah, they're all amazing, aren't they?

REReader said...

Formidable! (And I say that in all seriousness.)

And not forgetting Mycroft and the dogs, who might not be saying anything but are Right There, too.

Has Sherlock worked out the lying/keeping quiet thing enough for now, then?

Victorix said...

I read that as a set of protractors...

Greg Lestrade said...

err...he's still got questions, RR. Difficult questions. Like 'So would it be better if your Mummy had lied and hadn't said those things even if she thought them? Or is it better that she said them even though is wasn't very nice so that you knew?'

Yeah...trust him to find something like that to ask. (He was...mainly satisfied with my answer. Sort of.)

Mycroft has also offered his support. In a quieter and less boa-constricter sort of a way than Sherlock ;)

Piplover said...

Children have a tendency to clear away all the BS and go straight to the heart of the matter. It's one of the reasons I don't mind if a child asks why I have a cane, or stares at me.

At least with kids, most of them anyway, you know that there usually isn't malice in their actions. They're honestly just curious and want to know, and don't have the filters and adults build around ourselves.

It is kind of fun, however, to watch parents' eyes get all big when a kid asks that kind of question, like, "OMG, I cannot believe they just did that!"

REReader said...

Ouch. And if he's still turning it over in his mind, you're all likely to get lots more hypotheticals for a while.

Well, philosophy has been struggling with the question of truth (what it is and whether and when to tell it) for literally millennia, with no consensus. He's in good company. (I guess all one can do is try to judge what will help and what will harm and try to strike a balance. Which is all most unsatisfactory.)

And I couldn't imagine anything different. :)


Pip--It's similar with me and religion. although obviously not the same. It's not rude if it's a real question, but adults are so hesitant to possibly offend.

Greg Lestrade said...

Pip - Sherlock's tactic nowadays would be to say "Excuse me, can I ask why you use a cane?" - thereby neatly sidestepping actually asking straight out. He learns fast ;)

Annoyingly, he tends to only ask things that don't have simple answers though. Or at least, answers which aren't 'full' enough. Life would be boring any other way though, right?

REReader said...

Yeah, it would. And hey, it's a good workout for your brain, too! :D

Piplover said...

L- That's such a polite way to ask! He truly is very clever.

I think I prefer the direct questions, too, rather than just being stared at and wondered at. I think John and I mentioned the invisible person effect. At least with children, they ask, have their curiosity satisfied (mostly!) and then move on to other, shinier topics!

John H. D. Watson said...

Like why aardvarks have such long tongues and two As at the beginning, why birds flap and aeroplanes don't, and why there aren't carnivorous plants big enough to eat people - all topics we covered on the way home from school.

Greg Lestrade said...

Want to see how long a Lestraadvark's tongue is, Doctor Hotson?

John H. D. Watson said...

You're going to make that a tag, aren't you.

REReader said...

Hahaha, John! I could make a good stab at the aardvark's long tongue and the man-trap plants, but the rest would require a quick trip to an encyclopedia (or the internet).

(It was quite a shock to me the first time I had supper at a friend's house to discover that other people's meals weren't regularly punctuated by trips to fetch encyclopedias and dictionaries. Any time we asked a looking-up question, our parents would send us for the appropriate volume and we'd look it up together. It was lovely!)

Have a fun evening, guys. ;)

(And yes, he probably is.)

Greg Lestrade said...

A tag? I'm going to make you a name badge and a nameplate to go on your door at the surgery, never mind a tag!

I know Sarah will agree with me ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

No, no, and also no. Why are you an aardvark anyway? I don't think you ever explained that.

And leave Sarah out of your scheming, or I'll get Sally to put up that DI GQMF sign on your door again.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm not actually and aardvark, Dangermouse. I'm a Lestallion. Silly.

I can't remember. Just because they have long tongues and Lestrade and aardvark happen to segue into each other rather well, I think?

Is Sherlock's show starting at 6pm on Friday? Or do doors open at 6, and it starts later...or...help, Danger-wan-kenobi, you're my only hope!

(and yes. Anyway, there's a picture of me wearing a santa hat on my door at the moment. Ho ho ho.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Lestraardvark is strangely pleasing to say, I must admit.

Parents are supposed to be there at six, and the show starts at 6.30, but I'm taking Sherlock a bit early. Mrs T asked me to help...organise things? I'm not quite sure. Anyway, we'll be there at 5:30, and Mrs Hudson and Mycroft are coming at six, and hopefully their mum too. Think you'll make it?

(Ha, nice.)

Greg Lestrade said...

Just like Doctor Hotson is. Doc-tor HOT-son. Rolls off the (incredibly long) tongue.

Parents and stray DIs? I shall endeavour to be there.

Organise things. Point, herd small children around like a well trained collie (well, you manage to herd one Sherlock, which is equal to about 20 other kids) and GLARE, no doubt. You'll be invaluable. She's a very astute woman.

And means I won't be able to tempt you behind the bikesheds whilst no one is looking.

Very astute indeed...

John H. D. Watson said...

And set up chairs and make sure Sherlock doesn't tell anyone else about Santa...

Maybe afterward.

Greg Lestrade said...

Can't believe you'd suggest such a thing. Tsk. Mrs T will have to put you in detention. (I'd offer to help with that, obviously,)

John H. D. Watson said...

Detention behind the bike sheds?

REReader said...

Just bear in mind just who might go looking for you... :D

Greg Lestrade said...

She might give us lines instead.

'I, Dr Hotson must not try to seduce innocent detectives behind the bikesheds.'

'I, DI Lestrade, will try to keep my naughty nanny in check'

John H. D. Watson said...

I've never even met an innocent detective. Come on, Lestallion, time for bed.

Greg Lestrade said...

If you say so, Doc.

We'll just play happy families in the play house instead, shall we?

John H. D. Watson said...

Something like that, anyway.

REReader said...

And a good morning to you!

I didn't see any surprise early-hour posts from Sherlock or anyone else, so I hope evertone slept through...

REReader said...

Everyone. Not evertone.

REReader said...

Everybody is just busy, right? There's no reason for me to worry or anything.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, are you all all right? Silence is worrying!

REReader said...

Oh, good, it's not just me being paranoid...

Guys?

John H. D. Watson said...

All's well as far as I know. L's at work, and Mycroft and I and the dogs are just leaving to fetch Sherlock.

REReader said...

That came out wrong...I meant, at least I'm not the only one being paranoid. (!)

I'm glad that I was being paranoid and you're just having a quiet day. :)

Anonymous said...

Is Lestrade okay, after yesterday? Just unusual he's so quiet.

Greg Lestrade said...

I'm okay, thanks.

REReader said...

It's good everyone is okay. Okay is best.

(You have to admit it's a little spooky in here, though, it's so quiet! Is this a Christmas season thing?)

Greg Lestrade said...

Don't know, RR. I barely knew John's blog existed this time last year.

You and the boys okay, Danger? Had good days?

REReader said...

I'm sure you could all use a quiet day or two tucked in there somewhere. Hope this was one for everyone! :)

Greg Lestrade said...

Mine was busy, but doing very little, if you know what I mean. Lots of waiting. Not much action.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - doing all right. Helping Sherlock cook and trying to figure out what smells peculiar in the kitchen. Mycroft's writing a blog post.

REReader said...

Hope that was good-busy, L, and not frustrating busy!

Do we want to know what smells peculiar, John?

Greg Lestrade said...

Sorry I'm so late. Back in a while.

Smells peculiar but kitchen related, or have Sherlock and/or the dogs brought something home?

What's the boy wonder and his beautiful assistant cooking?

John H. D. Watson said...

It was...a wad of stuff. I don't know. It was dark and squishy and smelled horrible. I'm guessing it's something the dogs brought home. I hope it's not going to make them ill.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, and dinner is chicken and spinach and this rice his classmate's mum makes, with coconut milk. He really wanted to try it, and she swore it wasn't difficult.

Greg Lestrade said...

coconut rice? sounds brilliant. thanks.

Leaving now. Hope the dogs don't get ill too. Yuck. Did it smell of death? Or foliage? Or...I probably don't want to know, really.

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