4 December 2011

When my fist clenches, crack it open, before I use it and lose my cool



One of the best songs...ever, really. Brilliant. Bit of a theme tune for my youth. Except it would've been 'behind brown eyes' then.

We've had a great day today. I took the bike out and John brought Sherlock up so they could both have a go on it. John's getting a lot more confident in his riding - and smoother. Which is nice for my nerves. And we gave Sherlock a few rides, too, which got him very excited. He keeps claiming he's 'almost' big enough to ride on his own. Hah.

Now it's rapidly getting dark, so we're all tucked up warm at home again. Sherlock wants to decorate the house, but for now we've pacified him by letting him make decorations, but not put them up until Mycroft's back next weekend.

I'm unsure exactly how glittery spiders are directly related to Christmas, but who cares? He's happy and content, and we're getting a rest. Except he also wants a Sunday Roast for tonight, so I really should start cooking...

After I've taught Danger how to sing the song....

226 comments:

1 – 200 of 226   Newer›   Newest»
REReader said...

Glittery spiders are appropriate at ANY time!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sherlock has pointed out that Regent Street's Christmas lights are spiderwebs. And...well, I don't know what they're supposed to be, but the do sort of look like spiderwebs. I'll post a picture sometime.

I'm more than happy with sparkly spiders if he is.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm not sure you can reasonably expect my singing to improve before you have to start dinner... Or ever.

REReader said...

I have a brooch that's in the form of a sparkly spiderweb with a little black spider dangling off it. (It tends to disconcert people, but I like it a lot. :) )

KHolly said...

One of my friends has a super hero themed Christmas tree. Not that she was trying to have a themed tree but because those are always the ornaments she likes. I say whatever decorations bring you happiness and joy are the right ones to have.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

your singing doesn't need to improve! its just learning the timing.

RR - I can't say I've ever been disconcerted by a brooch, it sounds very pretty. I used to have a spider as a stud for my ear. Black with silver legs.

Kholly - we'll probably have a range of different themes by the end. it's not as if Sherlock is often focussed on things for too long. (Although the Degus issue is beginning to rear up again...)

John H. D. Watson said...

He has done well walking Snoopy, I have to say.

Cranky Bookwyrm said...

Lovely song; thanks for posting. Kid ornaments are the best (Max didn't want to put up the one he made in kindergarten and didn't seem to understand why I loved it.) Enjoy your evening.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

he has...but watch it or we'lll be subjected to three weeks of begging and pleading again...

What do you want for Christmas - apart from the unicorn outfit, obviously.

REReader said...

I can't say I've ever been disconcerted by a brooch, it sounds very pretty. I used to have a spider as a stud for my ear. Black with silver legs.

I think people are disconcerted because I tend to wear it with very proper, classic clothes. And the spider swings.

There is a blurry photo of it here. You can't see it very well, but there are little crystals in the web.

And I would totally wear spider earrings! (Not with the brooch though, too matchy-matchy. :D)


He has done well walking Snoopy, I have to say.

That's a long time for a 6-year-old to stick with something.

Anon Without A Name said...

I think all teenagers (and ex-teenagers) can associate with that song, but you've probably got more reason than most, Lestrade. Thanks for posting it, I hadn't heard it in an age.

Sounds like you guys had a lovely day - and I see that John has been inspired to post a poll.

I'm reminded of John's teenage crush post, African Queen is on the telly, Bogey's being all overbite and working-class nobility. I may have to swoon. You guys have got singing and cooking and making decorations; I've got a classic film and fresh baked cheese scones. Wins all round :-)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless - absolutely, which is why it's such a classic!

John's poll is entirely unfair. I don't want to lose my pillion...but I think everyone should have a bike.

It is indeed wins all round today.

John H. D. Watson said...

Nameless - possibly the best film of all time.

L - I have no idea. What do you want?

REReader said...

I'm sure John'll want to ride pillion sometimes even when he has a bike. :) (Er, if? :D)

Maybe we could get a photo of Sherlock's glittery spider decorations?

John H. D. Watson said...

I don't want to lose my pillion

I'd still ride with you!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I don't want anything. Just a nice Christmas with you lot.

Well...there's one thing I want, but I know I'm getting that already. It will be 'ordered' on Wednesday.

I know you'd still ride with me. I'm just being silly. Probably because it's about the only time I get a hug in public :)

John H. D. Watson said...

What one thing? You're not talking about that unicorn costume, are you?

Anon Without A Name said...

John - It's definitely one of them, but Id have to argue for Casablanca.

Lestrade - maybe you two could switch sometimes, and you could ride pillion with John? That way you'd still get your hugs :-)

And does this mean you're expecting news on the dissolution front this week? It was due sometime around now, IIRC.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Absolutely the unicorn costume! I measured you up last night when you were asleep...but unicorn costumes can only be ordered on a Wednesday, as that's the day they harvest Sparkles.

No, seriously, Weds is the 6 week mark from being in court. It's the day I can apply for the Final Order. Potentially (although I'm not holding my breath, the speed the courts work at) I could be completely, fully, utterly, totally, divorced by Wednesday week. More likely it'll be just in time for Christmas though.

I can't think of a better gift than my freedom.

John H. D. Watson said...

That is the best possible Christmas present. I'm so happy for you, love.

REReader said...

That's WONDERFUL!! *throws confetti*

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless - dissolution, yes :) The final hurdle! (which isn't really a hurdle).

I could ride pillion. I'm actually not a very good pillion - don't really like not being in control!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

And Danger, I'm happy for us. I know how much it means to you.

John H. D. Watson said...

Thank you. I'm sorry it's been so difficult.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner - for a number of reasons - but I'm glad it's done now. And thank you for all your support and understanding.

Of course, now you have to fight Sherlock and my Super for a piece of me, instead :)

Trills said...

I'm with you kholly. We don't actually own any ornaments so on our tree we make do with tinsel, chocolate decorations and my housemate's David Tennant doll on the top instead of a fairy.

John H. D. Watson said...

Fortunately, I think our interests diverge enough that we can share you. I may have to start listening in on Sherlock's bedtime stories though. They're pretty good.

Anon Without A Name said...

Excellent news, Lestrade :-) I trust there'll be a bottle of champagne on ice for the day the Final Order comes through?

Sherlock said...

You have to pay an admission fee John because they're my stories.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh yes? What's the fee?

Sherlock said...

Money or ice cream or cake.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha! Mercenary.

Nameless - There could be. Celebration for the future. It's odd, I'm not...I don't know, I'm pleased about it, but it's sort of happy, that I'll be rid of him, and a bit...flat, because...of a few reasons. I mean, that my marriage was a failure, that I didn't do all this sooner - that I didn't leave him. Things like that.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Don't I get to charge you both a fee then, Sherlock?

REReader said...

Hugs and kisses make excellent fees, Sherlock. (And they're easy to share.)

John H. D. Watson said...

Maybe I'll just sneak up and listen at the door then...

Sherlock said...

No because they're MY stories. You wouldn't do them if it wasn't for me. You get in free. John or Mycroft or Mummy or Mrs Hudson or Anthea have to pay. REReader I get them anyway. And Lestrade's face is really spiky when it's night time and he kisses me on the head and sometimes John's is too.

REReader said...

Endings and beginnings are always a bit of an emotional mix, Lestrade. Helps to separate them out--like maybe save the celebration for the next day. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Maybe I should start charging a fee (I'd be fine with you paying me in hugs and kisses, Danger).

Sherlock - you get money, cake and ice cream anyway too!

RR - yeah, maybe.

REReader said...

A spiky-faced kiss can lead to a good tickle/tumble if you play your cards right, Sherlock. And these would be extra kisses on top of the ones you'd get anyway.

(And you don't want Lestrade to stop telling stories unless you buy him ice cream!)

REReader said...

Also, Sherlock? You don't have to type out REReader every time if you don't want to. RR, as John and Lestrade do, is fine, or a lot of my online friends call me Rere, if you'd like that better.

John H. D. Watson said...

Everyone in this flat gets quite enough cake and ice cream as it is.

Sherlock said...

But if I don't get money now then I can't buy any Christmas presents because John said I was never allowed to take his bank card and he took my credit card and so I need money from other things so this is one of the things.

Okay RR. You have to keep typing out Sherlock because I don't like anything else.

REReader said...

You'll have to start doing that "hide the vegetables in the cake" thing that's so popular in trick-the-children cookbooks you see all over nowadays. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I might downgrade 'mercenary' to 'enterprising'.

Sherlock, you don't need money. We'll go shopping together - and we'll make sure you've got enough money for anything you need to buy. But you're not to take anyone's bank cards or wallets, and you're not to go off on your own again.

REReader said...

When I was your age--and for quite a long time after--I hated people giving me nicknames too, Sherlock, so I wouldn't do that you. Promise.

Is it okay to add "love" or something like that sometimes? Or would you rather I dudn't?

Anon Without A Name said...

Lestrade - I get what you mean. Lots of mixed emotions; it's understandable. But you did your damnedest to make it work, and now you've taken action to end it, and there's nothing wrong with celebrating what you just referred to as your freedom.

Sherlock - you might have more luck getting payment if you ask for something that John is willing to pay. So, maybe an extra hug for every story he listens in on?

REReader said...

That was supposed to say "dIdn't"!!!! Would you rather I didn't?

Calliope said...

I love that song, too. Thanks for posting it! I'm glad you guys had a fun day. I've never been on a motorcycle, but it sounds like it can be quite entertaining/diverting.
I'm glad to hear that you'll be completely free of your ex soon.
Also, sounds like your stories are really good. Too bad we can't hear them, too.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless - I shall definitely celebrate that aspect of it :)

RR - he does like vegetables. He just prefers cake and ice cream and pizza. Don't we all? But there's not need to hide stuff from him, he hasn't disliked much so far.

Calliope - No problem, glad you like it. And being on a bike is brilliant.

If you stand on the seat and get some speed up it's a bit like flying...not that I would ever condone such an unsafe thing, obviously...

Small Hobbit said...

It's not so much the flying, more the landing that's the problem!

And all the best for Wednesday and ordering the unicorn costume and everything.

REReader said...

he does like vegetables. He just prefers cake and ice cream and pizza. Don't we all? But there's not need to hide stuff from him, he hasn't disliked much so far.

Oh, ha! I certainly do. :)

No, I just meant--it was in response to John saying everyone gets enough cake and ice cream, and I was thinking no one ever says that about vegetables, so if the vegetables were IN the cake... I skipped some steps there. (It's the teeny tiny screens on my Touch, I can't see what I've said and what I haven't.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, you need a nice smooth path and a lot of confidence before you start doing 'tricks'. And no fear. And deep enough pockets to cover the damage when you make a total ballbag of yourself and fall off whilst messing around. And preferably unbreakable bones and undentable confidence, because it will hurt both physically and ego-wise if you do fall off.

REReader said...

*pauses delicately*

"If"?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I said 'when' the first time! But then, I do know people who've mastered tricks without disasters. I've managed quite a few myself. It's often harder getting 'out' of the trick than getting into it.

REReader said...

I tease because I love. :)

(And I would NOT want to watch you trying/practicing. I'd be a total wreck.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I wouldn't want to watch Danger do it, either. But I've always done such things while surrounded by mates who'd laugh harder the harder you hit the ground - made me more determined :) No pain no gain and all that.

REReader said...

*shudders*

(You know, speaking of holiday shopping--I bet Sherlock has a good idea of what everyone wants for Christmas, or can figure it out... :))

John H. D. Watson said...

How do you steer if you're standing up?

Rider said...

John, you bend over. It's not the world's best look and it doesn't work with clip-ons or straight bars.

You can make it look less silly by standing on one leg and sticking the other one out behind you horizontally.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well, either you stand on one leg, bend forward and hang on to the bars, so your sort of a T shape, or you stand up and just use your weight - like you would when you ride hands-free.

I do the former. Never quite had the right bike for the latter. Although I don't mind riding handsfree sitting on it.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

(I've only seen the latter done by pros on TV, to be honest)

John H. D. Watson said...

Rider - clip ons? Straight bars?

L - what's the right sort of bike then? Just a more stable one?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

A more stable one you don't mind dropping :)

I would imagine that anyone I've ever seen doing it has very stiff steering set up for it and a stable bike. I've always dicked about on cheap scramblers, which would be crap for it. I mean, I've messed around a bit on past bikes I've owned, but only done things I'm confident I can do already, never tried to master anything new on an expensive bike, or on the road :)

John H. D. Watson said...

you don't mind dropping

Ah, yes. I can see that would be an important component.

Rider said...

John, clipons are handlebars that they use on race bikes and ones that look like them. They have your hands very low, the ones on my hoonbike are down about the level of my knees. Straight bars are bars that have no bend at all, so your hands are still pretty low.

Handsfree needs a throttle lock or the bike is slowing down and a slowing bike isn't all that stable. (A motorcycle at speed is very stable, the problem then is turning it, not keeping it from turning. You need to use the bars to turn even if you just knock them with your knee.)

Throttle locks are necessary when doing a lot of tricks. Bod I know used to terrify car drivers by passing them sitting on the pillion seat with his arms crossed. He is, surprisingly, still alive.

John H. D. Watson said...

That would be quite scary to see! Glad he's made it so far. And thanks for explanations, very interesting.

L - you don't need to look at me like that, I'm only asking for information. I have no plans to try it myself.

Rider said...

I have no plans to try it myself.

you say that now. but I give it a year tops once you get your licence before you start trying various silly things.

Yes, even though you aren't 19. Motorcycles keep you young by regressing you... Right Lestrade?

John H. D. Watson said...

Heh. Well, I have no current plans to try it myself then. L looks nervous enough when I'm going at a reasonable speed in a straight line, never mind tricks.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Right, Mr Middle-Name-Is-Danger.

Go and watch this and tell me you wouldn't quite like to have a taste of a bit of this (and then tell me that *if* you got a bike licence you wouldn't come with me if we could get a couple of trials-ish bikes.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJaydvRMA1o

REReader said...

*trying to read with eyes closed*

Rider said...

Trials is fun. I haven't done the climb all over cars thing, but I have climbed big rocks and crossed creeks on tree trunks.

I have also pointed a motocross bike at a steep rock covered hill and nailed the throttle so we were doing mountain goat impressions leaping from rock to rock.

About halfway up I came to my senses but stopping would have been fatal so I just kept it on full noise till I got to the top. The adrenaline hit was such that I nearly did it again.

John H. D. Watson said...

Feel I should point out once again that I got that name via sarcasm and mockery.

...Maybe. A bit. Although I do wonder how they learned to do that without dying horribly in the process.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

There were two thousand of them at the beginning :( (I jest, RR, promise).

A lot of it is like Rider says...you start something, and by the time you have second thoughts, it's too late.

But first time I ever did a flip I practised long and hard off a ramp into a reservoir on my BMX :) once I was happy I was 'landing' on the wheel every time, I went for dry land and a bike. Fell off on landing, but I was the right way up!

John H. D. Watson said...

Very wise! And much less worrying than what I was imagining.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Very wet :) Riding our bikes into it was only a step up from jumping into it every summer. Seemed sensible. Bloody hard work swimming a BMX back to shore every time though!

We were idiots, but we didn't have much of a deathwish.

John H. D. Watson said...

Speaking of people who do completely mental things for fun...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yKU03F1f2A&feature=relmfu

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

that looks amazing. I've never been skiing.

John H. D. Watson said...

We should go sometime. Just not on top of a ski lift wire.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Have you done it before? I'd probably be a disaster.

John H. D. Watson said...

A couple of times. I'm not great, but I can usually not fall over. Mycroft would probably be really good at it with all his skating practice.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Right.

It's always seemed sort of...what posh people do. I'd probably break a leg within about two minutes.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure you'd be fine! You'd probably be better at it than I am in a day or two.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I very much doubt it.

When Nicky and her lot come to visit we should all go skating again.

John H. D. Watson said...

That would be fun. Has she said when they're coming?

Just not the one near the London Eye. Sherlock was telling me his plans to make it go faster the other day.

Desert Wanderer said...

Just a word of advice? That sign with the picture of the guy falling off the mountain onto sharp rocks (here: http://www.piste-off.com/siteimages/signposts-and-warnings/austrian-crevasse.jpg)? That's a warning, not a recommendation.

Also, if you take a dive just after that sign (like you played for the Gunners) in an effort to avoid death, a cute Ski Patrol guy might come rescue you. Hypothetically.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Not a definite date, but sometimes between Christmas and New Year, probably. It's a bit harder now they need to stay in a hotel. I doubt they'll come for long.

John H. D. Watson said...

DW - hypothetically, hm? Right... Anyway, he doesn't need cute Ski Patrol guys rescuing him!

L - They could stay here if the kids camp out in the living room? It'd be a bit tight though, they might rather have the hotel.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I definitely don't need cute ski patrol guys!

I thought it would be kind of insane trying to have them here. I told Nicky I'd pay for a hotel. We argued. We're going halves on a hotel. It'll be fine, it's just not quite the same as being at home relaxing - charging around London on holiday. I don't blame her for not wanting to be here too long.

Desert Wanderer said...

Alright, a super cute Nanny!Doc, then. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'll take that, DW. So to speak. It's very handy having your own Doctor around. I'm so scared I'll lose him I've even given up eating apples ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, I suppose so.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Don't worry, I'll make sure they stay close. And somewhere that'll let them keep the room a few days longer for when we can't get Carla and Mycroft apart.

I didnt think it was fair, either, given I'll be at work. I don't know. Anyway, it isn't organised yet. You talk to her. Use your charms.

John H. D. Watson said...

My charms, huh? Ha. I'll talk to her, anyway.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well I fell for them!

John H. D. Watson said...

So you did. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Mmm. Don't make me give you some warning about staying away from my sister - had to do that to plenty of other boys, y'know - never for this reason, though!

REReader said...

I couldn't watch that YouTube either, John. (You don't see much with your hand clamped across your eyes!)

I have to admit, the snowboarders in the last Olympics were pretty cool, though, especially the halfpipe.

REReader said...

(I bring snowboarding up as an almost close to semi-sane alternative, not just randomly out of the blue.)

My captcha was "epros" and I suppose the halfpipe IS better left to them. Ha.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I find snowboarding less scary than skiing. At least your legs can't go in different directions. And I could skateboard a bit when I was a lad.

REReader said...

*debates banging head against wall*

Desert Wanderer said...

And I could skateboard a bit when I was a lad.

Seriously?! How old are skateboards?!

Piplover said...

Lestrade, I'll be visiting my sister in January, and since my mom, brother and his fiance is also going, we're taking pity on her and staying in a hotel.

Sometimes it's the best option, as only one bathroom for 7 people (she has two roommates) is just rather silly. Also, this way you can all have a bit of privacy.

Of course, it's a pain when you have to travel to and from the flat, but I think it evens out.

Anyway, the point to that ramble was that, even though a hotel can be a bit expensive, sometimes it's preferable to staying with with family when space is a bit tight.

REReader said...

Seriously?! How old are skateboards?!

According to this article, they were invented in the 1950s. I remember skateboarding being big in the 1970s and 80s. (No, I never took it up. I never took up anything I couldn't do sitting down until I was 35.)

Calliope said...

This looks like a good point to be glad that my little sister doesn't read these blogs, as I am now going to reveal that she was a member of a "Skate Posse" in High School. (They were called "Teen Poppin' Fresh." Did you know that Skateboarding is not a Crime? That's what the bumper sticker on her bedroom door said.) I, on the other hand, confined myself to roller skating, as I couldn't get the hang of the skateboard, except on carpet.

Ruby said...

On the topic of skateboards, my dad once told me that as a kid (sometime in the mid-fifties), he'd make his own, by screwing the wheels off his rollerskates and attaching them to a board. He lived in the hills around Palos Verdes at the time, and he talked about getting up to a good speed going down them.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

DW - should I be insulted? How old do you think I am?? :)

REReader said...

Kids nowadays... :D

Bronwyn said...

I never did any if those things as a child. I had a pogo stick. And stilts. And quad skates. Oh and a radio flyer that I did some major mechanical modification to and made a downhill deathmobile. It was a thing of brutal beauty.
Bronwyn

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I didn't have a skateboard - only thing I had was a bike. But I had friends who had skateboards. And we generally spent time in the manner of most young boys. Throwing ourselves off/down/over/at/under/into things in a manner which suggested we were largely indestructable.

REReader said...

"Boys"?

...

:)

Rider said...

We had bicycles and we made jumps for them and rode them down stairs and generally tried hard to break them.

But then I got a horse and well... bicycles can't compete!

(That's sort of how I got into motorcycles. I moved a long way from home and didn't have horses anymore, a motorbike was the next best thing)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sorry, that was rather sexist of me.

In my village, at the time, it was boys that did stuff. I have no doubt plenty of girls have similar interests.

Anon Without A Name said...

Way to make some of us feel very old, DW :-p

I remember me and a mate making our own skateboard - the same as Ruby's Dad, which really isn't helping me feel any younger - from a dismantled rollerskate and a piece of wood. It was crude but reasonably effective. That would have been in the late seventies.

OTOH, being both the youngest kid in the family, and the only girl, my parents (my Dad in particular) threw a fit if I did anything even remotely risky. Like ride a bike. Seriously. When I finally persuaded them to let me have a neighbour's old bike, when I was about 14, I was banned from riding it on the road. I know they were trying to be protective, but I would have much preferred your guys' approach with Sherlock, "he'll just fall off a lot until he gets the hang of it". Much better to learn to take a few knocks and survive than be wrapped in cotton wool and never learn those skills.

REReader said...

I would have put it more like "plenty of girls are equally insane," but yeah.

I myself was the diametrical opposite of reckless, but I learned how to ride a bike using the same fall-off-til-you-catch-on method. I don't recall it taking very long. Of course, I forgot how pretty easily, too. (Yes, it is possible to forget how to ride a bike.)

Rider said...

A quite from my father "Once you are on first name terms with all the surgeons at the Children's Hospital...

I combined physical fearlessness with clumsiness. I did learn from my mistakes in that I didn't break myself the same way twice.

I am glad my parents were laid back about it but it was probably that or worry themselves into an early grave. I wasn't going to change.

lbmisscharlie said...

I think I had a very healthy appreciation of my own mortality as a child, because despite the fact that I grew up on a ranch with an extended family quite fond of guns, fireworks, small, poorly controlled explosions, and jumping off very tall things, I managed to grow up without any broken bones. Mostly, I think, because I was always the one figuring out logistics then standing well back to let other people attempt the dangerous stunts. Then telling my parents I had nothing to do with it. :D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Mum did everything she could not to take us to hospital. And often reinforced the threat of being taken into care (she never said it like that, she always said we'd all be split up and never see each other again- which sounded much worse than 'care'.) She was partly scared social services would jump on us (they were round our house every other week, it felt like, anyway) and partly probably horrified by the idea of taking five kids anywhere near a casualty ward. I mean, you can take a kid in with a fractured wrist from falling off a swing, no problem, but when all your kids are a bit battered and bruised and have fingerprint-bruises on their arms from being grabbed...she could see where that would lead.

Nicky became a very good nurse :)

Desert Wanderer said...

Aw, don't be offended Lestrade. I was only teasing. You're not really that old--somewhere between my mother and my father, I think. :P

My brother was the daredevil of the family. He once tried to jump on the hood/bonnet of my mother's car as she was pulling into the driveway. Not quite as easy as it is in the movies...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'll forgive you. Although possibly not for the fact that I've had Sal and Nathan (one of my DCs. Looks about the same age as Mycroft) implying skateboard couldn't have been invented when I was a boy, because wheels hadn't been...

I hope your brother survived that mainly intact.

Desert Wanderer said...

haha Excellent, Sally and Nathan. :) Although, I don't know what I'll do if you don't forgive me. Cry, definitely. And write an entry in my diary in blue sparkly pen, smeared by drops of tears.

He survived. Complaining loudly and with a few Frankenstein's monster-ish parts, but survived nonetheless.

John H. D. Watson said...

Isn't that meant to be purple sparkly pen? Zygote. :P

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'd hate to make anyone cry.

actually...correction, I'd hate to make you cry. I make other people cry and feel vaguely satisfied, sometimes.

Hello, Dangerous one. How's the day treating you?

Desert Wanderer said...

The purple pen is only for happy entries. Blue.is for sadness. Pink is for luuuuuuuve.

I made a basic trainee cry once and felt so bad.

John H. D. Watson said...

Of course, what was I thinking. They didn't have that sort of advanced pen technology when I was growing up, of course.

L - not bad. Sarah called, and I have work tomorrow. How's your day going?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, I agree DW. All my entries about John are in pink sparkly pen. And I write the 'o' in his name as a heart. And put our initials in bigger hearts.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It was all chipping letters out of solid marble when we were nippers, eh, Danger? I still remember the first time I saw chalk and a slate - it was the future!

Brilliant that Sarah wants you back.

My day is the usual death, destruction, you know.

REReader said...

You forgot about dotting all the "I"s with little hearts. ;)

I once made a classmate in a creative writing seminar cry. I hadn't meant to--but I still feel horribl about it (It must have been 30 years ago. I'm apparently a champion at hoarding guilt.)

REReader said...

And you go, John! We all knew you did awesome!

John H. D. Watson said...

Marble? You had it easy. It was all granite in my school. Took ages to get my homework done. And good luck claiming the dog ate it.

Made anyone cry yet today?

...Oh, and. I may have accidentally watered the bonsai with tea. Not a lot, and I sort of rinsed it out after. Have I killed it?

John H. D. Watson said...

RR and DW - I feel pretty safe in saying that neither of you meant to, and I suspect you were both trying to help. Sometimes people need to hear things they don't want to hear.

REReader said...

I was--but I still feel bad about it.

I don't know much about bondais--maybe tea is good for them? Trees outside are often watered with much nastier things, after all...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - it was my first thought. But his name contains no 'i's, unless I'm writing the Hamish bit, too.

Danger - dinosaurs regularly ate my homework. And my dog.

I haven't made anyone cry today - apart from the usual hoardes of people wailing and throwing themselves at my feet as I stride past, clad in leather. All stops once I put my suit on though.

Did you know you laughed at my longjohns this morning? You pointed, giggled a lot, said something about ninjas and then seemed asleep again.


As for the bonsai...does it look dead? Youre the doctor!

REReader said...

BonSais!! (WHY can't we correct cements?!)

("Bondaiss" sounds like something entirely different. o_o)

John H. D. Watson said...

Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a botanist! I was worried more about long term effects. It looks fine right now.

It's your fault for having black longjohns. All you need is a balaclava and you'd have the full ninja costume. (Actually I have no memory of this, but it does make sense...)

REReader said...

Dinosaurs clearly still roamed the earth when I went to school--we didn't even have cell phones! But dino's WERE cool to ride, if a bit slow. Made me late for school a lot.

REReader said...

Surely Greg the florist know about the effects of yea on bonsai trees....

(Or you could try calling the botanical gardens--or a shop that sells bonsai trees.)

(But can you perform surgery on a Horta?)

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer! He did in the end though, didn't he? So I suppose I'd have to give it a shot if I were presented with an injured Horta.

REReader said...

He did--troweling in some sort of high-tech cement, if I recall. I'm sure you'd do the same. :)

(I looooove that show! TNG, too. Not so much the others.)

Greg The Florist said...

Tea in a bonsai? Should I ask how or why that happened?

It'll be fine, mate. Tickety-boo. Unless you're the sort who has 18 sugar in your tea...but you sound sweet enough already.

REReader said...

*intoning* Ask and ye shall receive.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha! Thanks, Greg. Let's just say I had the tea in one hand and the water in the other, and, well...

Desert Wanderer said...

Tickety-boo?! Not to be confused with "Bippity, boppity boo,' I suppose? :D

REReader said...

No watering plants before caffeine. :D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I turn my back for two minutes and my lover's getting chatted up by a florist. What is the world coming to? He'll be inviting you to his castle for Christmas next.

REReader said...

Shocking.

John H. D. Watson said...

Hm...not sure how well he'd cope with Sherlock and Mycroft. Flowers don't prepare one for that the way felons do. I'd better stick with you.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Huh, just want me for my truncheon and handcuffs?
I think Sherlock would prefer the bloke with the castle...

He still making decorations?

REReader said...

I think Sherlock prefers you and your bedtime stories. Not to mention shoulder rides. :)

John H. D. Watson said...

We're doing popcorn strings and eating popcorn. Are you almost done at work?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Why? I'm just off to see Molly. Possibly on the way home, possibly not. Depends how far along she is with her work and what it's shown up.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

On way home now. Anything you need?

John H. D. Watson said...

No reason except I like you. And was debating whether to save you some popcorn. :) Nothing we need, no.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I can honestly say I've never seen a popcorn string before. Won't the dogs and kids eat them?

John H. D. Watson said...

Evidence so far suggests yes. Maybe not so much when they're stale though?

Did Molly have anything useful for you?

REReader said...

Popcorn gets awfully soggy-tasting after sitting a few days in the open. I don't guess the dogs will care, but surely kids would rather have fresh?

(My captcha was "Plato". Too esoteric a question? :))

REReader said...

Great minds...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

But we don't feed Sherlock, we make him scavenge for scraps. As anyone can tell by the way he begs for ice cream, pizza etc. He'll undoubtedly be grateful we've left such morsels dangling about.

As for Molly...to continue your theme earlier. 'He's dead, Greg'. But nothing more. So, to fall back on the official line 'we are investigating the death of a man which we are currently treating as suspicious'.

REReader said...

Sherlock is a growing boy, otherwise knows as a Bottomless Pit.

The case sounds tricky, without a known cause of death.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

once we get all the tests back I'm sure we'll have an established cause of death. It just doesn't make for a nice prompt start to the investigation. I was tempted to work through tonight, but with John working tomorrow I didn't want to dump that on him - or wake him up by arriving home in the wee small hours, so my nightshift team are on it.

REReader said...

Excellent thinking. Delegation is important--and you'll come back to it a lot fresher with a solid night's sleep, or as solid as you manage, anyway. A change is as good as a rest!

Desert Wanderer said...

No reason except I like you.

Everyone should have someone to say that to them. <3

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - yeah, just not what I'm used to.

DW - shouldn't they? He's okay himself ;) (except when he's laughing at my underwear)

REReader said...

I don't think you can hold against people what they laugh at in their sleep.

Tell you what, put up a photo of you in those long johns, and we'll let you know if laughing was the appropriate response or not. ;)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I can assure you it wasn't. Although they're not er...in the best nick. A few holes, where my pockets rub on the thighs.

I might get some of these, so I don't look like a ninja.

http://cdn1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/182/747/454/men-s-new-sport-fashion-long-johns-t601-15-s-m-61304.jpg

REReader said...

Spoilsport. :(

Ah, so you prefer to look like a superhero than a ninja? :D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well, given ninjas are meant to be invisible (aren't they?) then...probably a superhero? I don't know.

I hope they magically make me have a physique like that.

Anon Without A Name said...

Oh Lestrade. Holes in your undies? And this from a man who lusts after AussieBums. Tsk. At least you're not wearing saggy greying Y fronts. (Are you?)

Those longjohns are certainly designed to... draw the eye, aren't they? *stares*

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I know! But they're dead comfy - really soft.

No, no saggy grey Y fronts. I do have some grey underwear - but it's supposed to be grey! And it's not saggy ;)

Danger can spend his day at work tomorrow deciding if I should get the superhero ones.

REReader said...

May I point out that John does not appear to think you need a different physique?

I think we need to decide for ourselves. *nods*

Small Hobbit said...

You're due for a new poll, how about ninja long johns or superhero ones?

Anon Without A Name said...

Both?

Desert Wanderer said...

Clearly they're a ploy, Nameless. John cannot have tattered underwear on his main squeeze. Professional pride, dontcha know? What would the other models say?! By wearing them, Lestrade ensures they'll be taken off with due haste. Badda bing, badda boom, birthday suit shenanigans.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

if they're taken off with too much haste in this weather there'll be no 'shenanigans' without the use of a magnifying glass. It's brass monkeys here.

Anon Without A Name said...

DW - have I ever told you how much I like the way your mind works?

Lestrade - I was assuming that underwear removal and resultant shenanigans would take place indoors. Didn't realise you were the al fresco type...

REReader said...

Now, now, it's not THAT cold--it's above freezing in London now, and it had to have been a bit warmer earlier.

Desert Wanderer said...

What would you need a magnifying glass for? The only thing I can think of is to look at sea monkeys, but they don't come in a brass variety, so now I'm just confused...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - I know, it just feels it in our room, once I'm down to my keks. Obviously John is smug and snuggly in his jimjams.

Nameless - I am certainly not the outdoors sort!

DW...really?

Now I need to drag Danger to bed so he's rested for work tomorrow. And not at all because I need to steal all his body heat.

Desert Wanderer said...

"keks"! Greg-ese strikes again!

No, not really. Just pokin' at you a bit. I did the same thing to a colonel once who asked if I was "giving him a reacharound" in a room full of other people.

"I don't know what that means, sir. Could you explain it to me, please?"

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I seriously can't be the only person here to call underwear keks...


I...well, I know what *I* mean by a reacharound. I can't imagine what he can have meant!

Small Hobbit said...

Well, I understand you perfectly, but then I'm only a few miles west of you, not a whole ocean on the west.

Is Danger wearing his jamjar jimjams?

REReader said...

I do a lot of googling. (It doesn't always get me the right translation, though. It's an adventure!)

Anon Without A Name said...

Lestrade - you sound almost offended :-p

Perhaps there needs to be an international translation service on the blogs? We could start with pants and work our way up...

Desert Wanderer said...

He was implying something about my integrity I didn't particularly appreciate. He also bet me a beer in front of everyone that I was lying. I won, he never paid.

I fully approve of your plan, Nameless. With pictures, of course. To aid in the translation. *ahem*

Rider said...

Reminds me of a Scots friend's answer to "what's worn under the kilt".

His answer was "A piece of string. Do you know how cold it gets in Scotland?"

John H. D. Watson said...

DW - and did he explain what he meant in front of everyone?

REReader said...

Ha! I'd rather like to know that myself, DW--gives rise to quite an interesting imaginary scene there...


Good morning, early birds!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Morning. Wasnt up so early today - Sherlock came in and sat on us about 6 in the end. I couldn't face getting out of bed.

DW - that's unbelievable!

And to you and Nameless - i'll get the underwear model right on to posing for that picture dictionary.

You can all always ask if you don't understand me - I'm not trying to be obtuse! I forget we're divided by a common language.

Desert Wanderer said...

A lot of hemming and hawwing, but no explanations, no. I explained to my colonel, and he went with me to collect on the bet, but the jackass wouldn't say anything except to imply that we had cheated. My colonel dismissed me and closed the door, so I don't know what happened after that, but I never heard from the first guy again. Goes to show the importance of having top cover, I suppose.

L, it's not like it's difficult to figure out from context. And the new.words are interesting. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well I'm glad he never got the chance to hassle you again. What a wanker.

I'll have you all talking like under-educated southern English boys soon :)

'tickety-boo' just means good/fine. Sometimes used sarcastically, if someone asks you how you are when you're clearly not okay.. Usually with another word added in the middle though ;)

REReader said...

6:00 seems quite early to me--I woke up at 8:00 (!!) and haven't managed to pry myself out of bed yet. (Soon. Really.) I'm sure I could use a Sherlick to come sit on me to get me going!

(Which makes me think of how. when I was in high school, my mother used to dump my baby brother on my bed to crawl on me til I got up. A giggling baby was harder to ignore than an alarm clock. A chatty 6-year-old has to be even harder to sleep through. And at least as much fun.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Paging Doc Danger...

Your Sandwich delivering Lestallion won't be able to get to you today, so in a massive role reversal, I'm going to remind you to eat...

RR - yeah, there's no sleeping through Sherlock clambering about and asking why humans don't have more arms and legs, like spiders or lobsters or octopus...the list went on.

John H. D. Watson said...

Thanks. I probably needed the reminder. Got a bit behind after one man gave me pretty much his life story before he'd let me listen to his chest. Think I liked it better when I could order my patients around...

How's work? Do you know how that man died yet?

REReader said...

That'll boot your brain right up!

Sherlock, either there is no evolutionary advantage to humans in having extra arms, or we may have some day. I suspect the former, because we can build extra "limbs" that we don't have to use our own internal resources to run.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You still order me around...but I tell you my life story anyway.

Sort of know. It's not cut and dried, could still be self inflicted...very hard to tell.

I'll have to get on Sarah's good side like you're on Sal's, use her as an informer.

John H. D. Watson said...

RR - I have always we could use prehensile tails.

L - only when you're ill! And your life story is quite a bit more interesting than his. And I'm not just saying that because I like you better. Right, back to work.

John H. D. Watson said...

Thought, that was supposed to be. I have always thought...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Your tail is virtually prehensile, when it's cheekily cocked...

Yeah, get back to healing the sick. I'll get back to picking through the disgusting remains of this flat. I may need to b e put in quarantine.

REReader said...

I could certainly think of ways a prehensile tail could come in handy (Ha! A pun!) but apparently the disadvantages outweighed the advantages since we lost it along the evolutionary way...

Maybe your patient needed someone to listen to him talk even more than to listen to his chest? (Which doesn't make a busy doctor with a long line of patients waiting the right choice, of course.)

REReader said...

Oh, boy, Lestrade, that sounds lovely. The fun never ends!

John H. D. Watson said...

RR - you're probably right, but with that many people waiting... Well. I probably should've been more patient anyway.

L - did something happen to the flat, or was it just the former occupants housekeeping skills?

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