Well, that was the month that was...
I didn't think I'd manage to do the post per day - I didn't think you'd all still be reading by the end! I definitely didn't think I'd manage to find a title for each post.
But wow, it's gone so fast!
Yesterday...well, thanks, to all of you. And for those of you who said that what I'd written had helped a bit, that really helps me, so thank you for letting me know. And...well, yeah, I think it was probably good for me. Probably.
However, there are still some questions remaining from the month of living dangerously...
Anon, I will get to answering your question. I'm just not in the right frame of mind, given the discussions today. So instead I'll answer Small Hobbit's question.
You're obviously very good with children - have you ever wished you had a child of your own?
Sooo...yes and no.
When Carla and then Paul were born I tried to spend time with Nicky, on leave, because we've always been close, and it was bloody exciting. And I can't pretend that watching her and them and holding them and spending time with them I wasn't...jealous? Envious? that it was something I couldn't have. I mean, I was in my mid thirties, practically everyone I knew was busy having babies. My little sister was having babies, and they were so perfect. And when I couldn't get there for a few weeks they'd change so much the next time I saw them...
But back then, even if I had wanted it, and been with someone who also did, legally we couldn't have adopted, and...well, it seemed like a pointless thing to even think about. So I tried not to.
And then, so many things happened which would have made me (and Bryan) a totally unsuitable parent - well, it was just never even an option. And now I would say I'm too old and too busy, if I'm honest. So I'll just be very very grateful I can spend time with the boys - even if it's never enough, being that I only see Sherlock for an hour or so in the morning and a few hours in the evening most days, and Mycroft even less, obviously, and enjoy that.