Another day in the Stinky House of Stuff. Although today was less stinky because now all the animals have been removed the heating has been turned off, and it's pretty cold out, so the smell level has decreased. And we found some really expensive items. I'm really unsure whether we're looking at murder or death by misadventure here.
There was another Big Wing Op today. Domestic violence and hate crimes. Wonder if the Commissioner's been reading this blog...seemed oddly fitting.
Anyway, over 150 arrests. It all goes with a massive campaign against domestic violence we're having. 1 in every 5 murders in London is domestic violence.
So...yes, today I went back to the court, paid my money, made my choice. Now I just have to wait for them to find a moment to sign it all off and get the Final Order posted out to me (and to Bry, obviously).
I think...I think after my post about what advice I'd give to the boys, for the first time, I sort of realised part of what I have such issues with.
Reading some of you explaining how you'd physically fought off attackers...all I could think of was that I hadn't done that. I hadn't even escaped and stayed away. I just kept going back, cooking him dinner, washing his clothes, ending up in bed with him every night... I know, I know, different situation, but still. I knew all the theory, I told people who did report it what to do, I even remember the day that it struck me that I wasn't married to a bloke who just had a bit of a temper, but to an abuser, who knew what he was doing.
And finally, at the end, he threw me out. I didn't even make that choice. I could have, and I didn't. Then what? I didn't carry it through and finish it. I waited until I'd hurt John and half the internet was telling me I was an idiot to take that final step.
Just don't feel like I've ever been in control of any of the whole situation.
But I suppose it doesn't matter. It's done now, it's all over, bar the letter dropping on the doormat.
Time to get on with enjoying what I've got now.