1 October 2011

Nothing is impossible in my all powerful mind...

It's a beautiful day! Even now we've got the windows open in the flat. It's an odd mix of trees thinking it's autumn, and being beautiful colours, and the sunshine meaning swimming outdoors is still brilliant, not chilly.

We all walked Snoopy this afternoon. Well, obviously Sherlock held the leash, as is his duty. But we all went, kicked about in the park, stopped for coffee (me), tea and cake (John. I may have helped a little bit with the cake...) and cake and a milkshake (Sherlock, although he had a sip of my coffee too).

Now he's very studiously putting all his drawing materials into precise colour order, I'm meant to be doing paperwork - some Italian - because I really, really don't want to have to go over there and testify for the inquest, but really I'm wondering what - if any - things John and I could have done to us on our weekend away. Massage? Relaxation? Different weird sort of massages with hot stones or oil or aromatherapy? Floatation? Dry floatation? It's like speaking another language. Feel free to offer opinions if you've ever done that sort of thing.

John is reading a book, and answering Sherlock's questions on colours. And agreeing it is annoying that the paint/plastic colour of a pencil/pen doesn't match the actual colour...


As for you lot, in the last poll exactly half of you agreed blaming John was the right thing to do, really. Even though some of you wouldn't allow Sherlock to fly the plane. A lot of you found religion, and a surprising number would have put him in restraints.

221 comments:

1 – 200 of 221   Newer›   Newest»
Anon Without A Name said...

I misread the typo in the title of this post as "impossibike". I thought it was going to be a post about you fantasy bike. A hoverbike or something :-)

I'm glad you're enjoying the weather; I reckon it's far too hot. And I burn when the sun's this bright. *grumble*

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

That was a very kind way of pointing out my typo, thanks. Fixed it now.

I (John maintains this isn't fair...I think if him not going grey is fair then this is fair too) pretty much tan just looking at a photo of the sun in a travel mag. Suppose I have to thank my Father for that. About the only thing he did do for me!

But I would agree it's too hot if I had to go to work...

innie said...

I . . . am already brown and do not worry about tanning. Though I have had a couple of rather hilarious farmer's tans, the most recent after coming back from a full day at the US Open.

No suggestions for spa-type stuff because I'm (a) incredibly ticklish and (b) incredibly unwilling to disrobe in front of strangers, but I do think the most relaxing vacations are the ones in which the only plans that are made are for meals. Sleep in, cuddle, etc., and eat well. Croissants with honey, apples, cheese, and chai - that was the breakfast I made myself on my birthday several years in a row, and it always felt terribly, wonderfully indulgent.

(I had the same thought regarding the impossibike as Nameless did.)

When's the trip?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think my current tan is rather farmer-like. Because it was mainly achieved in Italy, when I was wearing a shirt and trousers. So tanned face and forearms, not much else. Although swimming today can only have helped even it out.

I'm not unwilling to disrobe in front of some strangers. Depends how strange they are... I'd like to do something we can do together though. I'd feel a lot better (possibly less silly, too?) if he was there. And it wouldn't involve nakedness. We can wear swimming shorts.

I don't know. There are aspects of it that I'm worried about, I think. Hence asking for recommendations, really. :)

Trip is not this coming week, but next.

Dottie said...

My siblings and I sent our mum and aunt away on a spa weekend for Mothers' Day and they absolutely loved it. My aunt was a bit unsure as she's somewhat shy/uncomfortable with unfamiliar people touching her but said the lady doing her full body massage were very good about making sure she was OK and comfortable. As for recommendations, my mum particularly enjoyed a 'reiki head massage' and they both enjoyed getting manicures as it's a bit of a luxury they wouldn't usually treat themselves to. Hope you both have a lovely time, whatever you end up doing! :)

John H. D. Watson said...

...Dry floatation? What?

X said...

It is quite sunny here, but it's dropped to 6C this week. Oh autumn. I would have preferred a longer stretch of the 15-18C weather after an entire summer in the 40s, but that's Canada for you -- getting us mentally prepared for 5 months of winter. ;)

Glad you're still enjoying swimming weather, though I'm thrilled to be able to dig into my sweater and scarf collection.

As to spa stuff, I ... really have no opinion.

Elizabeth said...

Couples' massage!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Well, I'm no expert, Danger, but it sounds like...well, a water bed. You're floating, but on plastic? I don't know. Says half an hour will make you feel like you've had eight hours sleep.

Can we get one? Then I wouldn't have to waste all the time I do sleeping.

Elizabeth - yeah, but what sort, out of the millions on offer??

John H. D. Watson said...

I've slept on a waterbed. Half an hour definitely didn't feel like a full night's sleep. Unless theirs is magic, I have doubts...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It obviously doesn't describe itself that way... And doesn't say it involves magic. It's an 'Almost weightless state of passive immersion'. But ... Yeah, not convinced.

I've never slept on a water bed, but I know they're not much good for other activities.

John H. D. Watson said...

They're definitely not. Even the floor's better.

How can you be immersed in something and still be dry? Hm.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You can ring and ask them.

So we agree we're definitely not getting a water bed then?

Anyway, supposed to be deciding what we would like...so.......tummy rub and a scratch behind the ears isn't on the list. What else do you enjoy?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, no waterbeds. I'm not sure the floor here would support that kind of weight anyway.

I don't really know. I've never done most of this stuff before.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No. And Mrs Hudson wouldn't cope well with the shock of us appearing in her living room, complete with bed, via the ceiling...

Well, when we do it it's a pretty simple hands, oil, massage, done. So...i could just find out if they'll let the two of us do that? Backs and shoulders, or full body, I think is the next question...

John H. D. Watson said...

Up to you. Just no manicure please. Harry made me get one for her wedding (no nail varnish, I know someone's going to ask) and it was not fun.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Damn, I've booked you for a manicure, pedicure and back sack and crack wax...

Right. I don't know either. The more I think about it the weirder this idea gets. I think the closest I've been to a massage done by a professional is physiotherapy...

I'm going to stop thinking about it. I'll...i don't know, call up on Monday or something.

John H. D. Watson said...

back sack and crack wax

Just contemplating this is making me die a bit inside, just so you know. Gah.

Considering no one's getting anything waxed, I think you may be worrying too much. Do you want me to pick?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Some people do it for kicks...

Now I'm worrying that I'm worrying too much...

Yeah, just pick, and if on the day I get cold feet drag me in there and tell me not to be stupid.

This is supposed to be relaxing, right? Because it's not.

Small Hobbit said...

Wow, I've just googled dry flotation. The article I looked at mentioned the volcanic mud wrap, which sounds more like an afternoon out with Sherlock and the dogs. And "you are cocooned in a warm, water blanket and gently lowered into a relaxed state of weightlessness, whilst you drift away" which just left me with images of you two floating off down a river, possibly pursued by very muddy Sherlock and dogs (see above)

John H. D. Watson said...

L - we don't have to do the massage bit at all, you know. We could just wander about and eat good food and whatever.

SH - The river with a muddy Sherlock sounds better actually. A water blanket?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Really? i mean, I just wanted it to be...nice. Special. Thought it would be.

But the more I think about it the more it doesn't seem like it would be at all. Which is probably stupid. But not exactly conducive to relaxation. Sorry.

SH - yeah, I don't think I understand it at all.

John H. D. Watson said...

I didn't mean that to sound...I don't know, negative, or something. Just, you seem more stressed out by the idea than anything else. Sorry. Also.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No, it didn't. You seemed like you were being the...voice of reason, probably. The idea of it generally speaking sounds great.

The idea of actually doing it...when I started imagining it all, as if it were me...it all started to fall apart a bit.

Nice hotel, nice food, nice surroundings and...we can take our own massage oil? That sound like a fair compromise?

And when did it get so late? Sherlock's going to be up at dawfor a bike ride or something, I daresay. Bed?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Up at dawn for, even.

John H. D. Watson said...

All right. Good. We can definitely take our own massage oil. And they probably have different kinds to buy there too, I'd think.

Bed sounds lovely.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Excellent.

And they've got various pools - ice, hot, jacuzzi, regular, and sauna, steam rooms... all on our doorstep. I do like a brutally hot steam room. Followed by an ice bath.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ice bath sounds about on the level of waxing, but I'll give it a try.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nonsense. It's good for you.

Anyway, you don't have to. Can just have a normal shower. But I know you'll be unable to resist watching me do it, just for laughs. :)

John H. D. Watson said...

That is absolutely true. And it probably won't seem such a bad idea after the steam.

Dottie said...

Meant to ask earlier, are you boys watching the Rugby World Cup? I'm Scottish and could have cried earlier with that late try from your chaps... Praying for a miracle from Georgia now!

azure-k-mello said...

I don't do massages, ever. I don't like people touching me. It's fine with family or people I'm dating but I don't even really touch my friends that much. My friend Maddie is a toucher and it kind of freaks me out. I even hate manicures, the bit where they do the weird massage to your hands? No, I don't like it. I only did it once and never again. Doctors are the only strangers who I don't mind touching me.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Azure - I understand, or at least, I think I do. Although I'm not even that wild about doctor's touching me (with one notable exception!), because generally they're only around when I'm already feeling distinctly less that fighting fit.

I can't tell you how happy I was after the car crash for John to a. Show up at the hospital and b. Take me home, despite them making noises about me staying overnight. It's my idea of hell.

That's why I thought we could get a massage together, so we were both right ther, not alone...but yeah, the more I thought about it the less appealing it all was.

Right...we're going to the park, apparently... Hope you all enjoy your Sunday.

Sherlock said...

Was St Mary really eaten alive by otters?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I...um...didn't know her that well, Sherlock. And didn't get a look at her cause of death file.

I suppose it's possible. If they were quick and she was slow.

Sherlock said...

Did the police investigate things like that back then? Would the otters be charged with murder?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I don't know when 'back then' was.

I'm assuming by the way John is giggling that this is to do with that radio show you all listen to and I know nothing about, with the airline? I seriously need to listen to it.

Others wouldn't be charged with murder. And I don't think there's a 'dangerous otters act' to use against them, either. So it would all depend upon the circumstances of her death.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Otters. Not others.

John H. D. Watson said...

They were rabid. Does that make a difference? Also apparently they went to heaven anyway.

And yes, you really do need to listen to it. I'll put it on your iPod.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It's all about intent, rabid or not. And that's the intent of the owners or anyone who may have put St Mary in the situation, not the otters. I don't think otters can have intent.

If they went to heaven I suppose they were innocent victims too.

Do it. God knows where. I'll find time to listen, but at least I've got a chance then.

John H. D. Watson said...

You can listen to it instead of playing air guitar at work.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I don't play air guitar! I mean, sometimes, if I'm thinking, I might pick out the chords to whatever I'm listening to, but it's because I'm busy thinking and my hands just do it. I'm not dancing round the office headbanging.

I can't think about cases and listen to a comedy show.

John H. D. Watson said...

I dunno, that's not what I hear from Sally...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Do you imagine I solve cases with my magic powers and psychic abilities then? I do actually work at work, more often than not.

John H. D. Watson said...

I just don't find the idea of occasional air guitar breaks completely unbelievable.

Although if you did solve them with magic powers and psychic abilities, someone in Hollywood would probably buy your memoirs.

Anon Without A Name said...

St Mary? Otters? Ottery St Mary?

(I've never listened to the show either; I just guess when I vote in John's polls)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Breaks are for emptying bladder and fetching coffee to refill it. Having five minutes spare at home is for playing real guitar, which is much more satisfying.

The way our lives are going Hollywood will be calling anyway.

And yes, Nameless, I believe so.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yep, Ottery St Mary. And no, Sherlock, I'm 99% sure Douglas was making that up. I don't think anyone was martyred by being eaten alive by otters.

They say breaks at work are good for your productivity.

Sherlock said...

I want to be one of them when I'm older.

John H. D. Watson said...

An otter?

Sherlock said...

I couldn't be an otter because I'm a human and you can't change even though Spiderman sort of did but he's not real and anyway who would want otter powers?

I want to be one of the 'they' people always talk about who know about everything and make up rules because I'd be good at it.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I take breaks, as mentioned above. What else would I do? Sit and play Angry Birds? Is rather work. It's not as if I spend 8 hours behind a desk - usually.

I'm really worried I'll have to go back to Italy though.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'd want otter powers.

L - could we go with you if you do have to? It wouldn't be for long, right?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

What powers would Danger Otter! have?

It wouldn't be for long at all. Depending in flights I'd try to overnight it there, give my evidence and be on the way back that night. But it would depend on how long it went on for, if they wanted to cross examine me, all sorts. Whilst it would be nice to have you there, it probably would be so short it would be pointless.

John H. D. Watson said...

Well...I'd definitely grow flippers or something in water, for ease of swimming. And be able to hold my breath a lot longer. Growing fur might be convenient under some circumstances.

All right. We'll hope you don't have to go at all then.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I can see uses for you holding your breath....yes.

Just don't accidentally turn into a beaver. Never been so keen on them... ;)

It's not like I could tell them anything except what's in my report, really. So yeah, hope not.

John H. D. Watson said...

Thought you could.

Ha, no. I don't fancy having the teeth or the tail either.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I wouldn't mind being a Lestraadvark.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm almost afraid to ask what you'd do with a tongue that long.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

The fact I can see you thinking about it is enough for me.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha.

Oh, Mrs T asked me about the frog pond. We ought to do it before it gets too chilly. What do you think? This month some time?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah. We should. I'll try to find time.

Won't take long with my big claws. Might even find some tasty ants.

So you're reasonably happy with my tongue as it is, then?

John H. D. Watson said...

I think it's safe to say I've never had any complaints about your tongue.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Or I yours.

So...pond. they'll have to have supplies delivered, or people will need to bring them shovels etc. And lining. Maybe the kids could do a simple design?

Then it's just back breaking hard work to move the few tonnes of soil.

Sherlock said...

I'll draw it exactly how it should be!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

If it's for everyone, Sherlock, it should be a group effort. Not just you.

We could hire a mini digger...if the school would spring for it.

Sherlock said...

Can I drive the digger?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Absolutely not. Or even be near it. We might not even get one. They're very dangerous.

rereader said...

Hi! I've been lurking and catching up for the last week or so, since I've found your blogs--I hope you don't mind if I just jump in?

Sherlock, maybe your class could all do the designing together and you could draw what you all decide? You might have to do several pictures, though--that is how designing things goes. You come up with a design, and then someone says, "But wouldn't it be better if it were a bit deeper on that end?" and you have to start all over. (I'm a book designer, so I get that sort of thing a lot, and it can be very frustrating. It helps if you know ahead of time that you are going to have to change things, even if you think it was perfect the first way.)

Sherlock said...

That sounds all right. Or maybe everyone can draw one and then we can pick the best one.

rereader said...

That's a very good idea, too! Or maybe you can pick the best parts from everyone's drawings and put them together for a really great design. Oh, and it is a very good idea to first measure how much space you have so that your design isn't too big to fit in.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Welcome, rereader. And no, jump in, the more the merrier.

Sherlock, you'll probably all need to draw one, then pick the best bits of all of them and draw a final one, I'd say.

Sherlock said...

I'll measure it tomorrow! John do we have a ruler?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sherlock, you need to check how big a pond Mrs T would like. And then either use a big tape measure ... or if you only need a ruler, digging this pond is going to be easier than I thought...

I could bring a big tape home from work if you need one.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Oh, and it's usefully to mark the area out - with stakes and string, or something. But just to see how it looks. We'll do it properly before digging.

rereader said...

Thanks, L!

And Sherlock, you will want to draw the pond from above, as though you were floating in the air above it and looking down, so you can show the shape and where it should be deeper and where it should be shallower. (Those are things hard to show in a picture that looks at things from the side.) Your class could also first research what are good depths for tadpoles before you start on actually drawing designs.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Watch it, RR, Danger will volunteer you to run a pond design class in the school before you know it. He's good at that sort of thing...

rereader said...

Ha! Well, I wouldn't mind--I'm a freelancer, so my hours are flexible, and I do love to pontificate on things I know only a little about--but it's a rather long trip from New York, which is where I am. I think I'm safe!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Wouldn't count on it... strikes me he should volunteer for something. Given that I had to.

rereader said...

Perhaps a first aid class geared to that age group? Surely it would be good for them to learn what to do and, even more importantly, what not to do if--when--someone gets hurt.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it's entirely up to him.

I'm starting to worry what he could volunteer me for at Harrow...

Sherlock said...

Can we mark it out with sticks and crime scene tape??? Please!

rereader said...

:)

I did some lecturing at Brooklyn College a number of years ago (and as a TA at Cornell), and I taught tai chi at a local women's college for a number of years as well, and I found that it is MUCH easier to teach a hands-on class than a lecture class. So whatever it is, make it something with lots of class participation and three-quarters the work is done for you. From what I read you did a wonderful job with the fingerprinting demo, so (dare I say?) you'd probably be a smash hit at Harrow!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Why crime scene tape?? String is perfectly adequate.

rereader said...

Do you think that crime scene tape would give you a good idea of what a pond would look like, Sherlock? Of course it would be fun that way, but in a very different way. You always want to use the right tool for the job, whatever the job is.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm starting to worry what he could volunteer me for at Harrow...

I'm disappointed they don't have a junior policemen's society you could go and talk to.

rereader said...

Perhaps they have a criminal justice class that could use a real-life perspective?

*ducks*

Sherlock said...

Crime scene tape is better!

rereader said...

Sherlock, crime scene tape would make it look like a crime scene, and that is of course very cool. But it wouldn't give you a very good idea of what a pond would look like, really. String would be much less obtrusive and so would be more helpful for seeing if what you designed would look good in real life.

John H. D. Watson said...

And it's not really a crime scene. You're not burying a body, you're making a new home for tadpoles.

RR - Perhaps they have a criminal justice class that could use a real-life perspective?

Ha, there must be something like that, surely. And I suspect even the older boys would be pretty enthusiastic about fingerprinting.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Plus the irony of me stealing you crime scene tape is a bit much.

RR, stop giving him ideas. I could go off you!

No one tell John about Volunteer Police Cadets.

rereader said...

RR, stop giving him ideas. I could go off you!

Hence the ducking. So you couldn't see it was me. ;D

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sure they have to be older, but I'm find it all too easy to picture all of Sherlock's class in tiny police uniforms, trailing after you like ducklings... Heh.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Hanging together to bury my body...

Sometimes I wonder if you like me at all...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ganging. Not hanging.

John H. D. Watson said...

Ganging together to beg for rides on your bike maybe.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

They're all mini geniuses...genii? You wouldn't even find my body. They know all about forensics now. I'd be gone without a trace. I'll change my will to leave you my entire pastry cutter collection.

John H. D. Watson said...

Pfft. You know they like you. What would I do with all your zillions of pastry cutters? I'd have to donate them to a museum.

rereader said...

Don't be silly, they need you to obtain crime scene tape and fingerprinting equipment, they certainly wouldn't want to bury you! (Unless it was in the interests of science.)

Desert Wanderer said...

I'll change my will to leave you my entire pastry cutter collection.

If that's not a declaration of love, I don't know what is.

Although, wouldn't the timing of that make John a suspect?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - I'd be the first specimen for the central London bodyfarm.

Danger, I don't have zillions. And as for what to do with them - the clue is in the name. Actually we need to unpack them, find space in your kitchen.

John H. D. Watson said...

Maybe not zillions, but I bet there's at least 50. Maybe 100.

DW - good point. Anyone might do him in with that sort of temptation.

Anon Without A Name said...

Lestrade - that would be "our" kitchen, not "your" kitchen, right? :-D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sarcastic git. Won't bake you cookies again.

Sherlock's just asked if he can murder me.again, 'this time without hurting you'. You might be roped in to be on his investigative team.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ah, yes, nameless. Indeed. Not quite used to that yet.

John H. D. Watson said...

Nameless - if you want to go by who uses it most (and has pretty much since we moved in) he ought to say his kitchen.

L - you'll always make me cookies. All right, but no raspberry flavoured blood this time, please.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No blood at all I hope. He's Just bludgeoning me with a pillow.

John H. D. Watson said...

If he's the murderer, his investigation's going to be pretty short...

REReader said...

How about a pegboard for the pastry cutter collection? That's good for either display or using.

Hope the murder investigation proceeds without incident!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think he's working from evidence and re enacting. Do I make a convincing 1880s prostitute?

John H. D. Watson said...

Thankfully, no.

Desert Wanderer said...

Is that the Scotland Yard version of "Does this make me look fat?"

John, what kind of books do you read?

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh...almost anything, really. I like the Discworld books, and those Roman murder mysteries by Steven Saylor, and I'm reading one by Beverley Nichols about his garden now (Merry Hall), despite not liking gardening much. I don't know. Why?

Desert Wanderer said...

Just curious. We hear about Lestrade's taste in music (favorite songs, best air-guitar riffs, etc.) but not much about your books.
Do you have a Kindle (or another e-reader)?

John H. D. Watson said...

He probably has more taste in music than I do in books. I read three quarters of Twilight in Afghanistan just because there wasn't anything else right then (no one would ever own up to having brought it with them). In my defense, I couldn't finish it.

I don't. I think about getting one sometimes, but...books never run out of batteries. And it might be weird. I don't know.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Dw - I'm now a late 60s stripper...Danger?

Sherlock - last one, then bed. Seriously.

John H. D. Watson said...

I think I missed something vital. Like why you're a late 60s stripper.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

i was trying to be upmarket. I'm really a prostitute again.

Re-enacting the Jack The Stripper cases, though, is the reason.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, I thought you meant the 1960s this time. And you didn't have go-go boots or anything.

John H. D. Watson said...

...Jack the Stripper. Heh.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I did mean 1960s. I can put my bike boots on....

John H. D. Watson said...

If you worked in a strip club, would you call yourself Jack the Stripper?

Desert Wanderer said...

Maybe the Twilight books came in one of those random care packages to "Any Soldier." I once got one that had a can of half-apricots, a seven-foot (no joke) red wool scarf, flea collars, dog biscuits, a jar of pickles, a tin of Vienna sausages, those hair ties for little girls with the colored balls on them, and a Harlequin romance novel.

John H. D. Watson said...

If one person put that together, I'm...sort of impressed. In a strange way. Did you read the romance novel?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No.

I'd call myself.... what's it supposed to be - there was a thing a year or two ago. It's your pet and the street you grew up on or something?

Benji Rydon. Quite apt...well, the surname.

John H. D. Watson said...

...What?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Danger probably wrote the romance novel, in his past life as some sort of racy romance novelist.

Danger - it was a ...thing. Everyone in the office was doing it. Your stripper name. You take the name of your first pet, and the name of the street you grew up on, and that's your stripper name.


So Benji was Nicky's gerbil, and Rydon was the road we grew up on.

John H. D. Watson said...

...Okay. What was Sally's?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Marmalade Foxwell.

So come on, what's yours?

John H. D. Watson said...

Right, when's her birthday? Because that's going on the card.

Banana Belsize, if you count Harry's dog, who wasn't really mine. Or Xavier Belsize, if you count my fish. He was named after Professor X.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think Banana Belsize is...well, it's making my mind go all sorts of places, imagining you stripping with that name up in lights!

I think there are ways to figure out your rockstar name, viking name, fairy name, all sorts. All equally silly.

John H. D. Watson said...

It could've been worse. He was a dachshund mix, and mum wouldn't let her call him Sausage.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha! Brilliant.

Mycroft's sounds more like some sort of master criminal though...Phobos Baskerville (Or Phobos Deimos Baskerville)

Desert Wanderer said...

Of course not, John. I know nothing about the penniless Lady Seraphina Moreton seeking sanctuary at the Duke of Blackhaven's castle just days before Christmas disguised as a peasant...


...oh, Lord. That would make mine Mollie Nightingale, Florence's naughty younger sister, apparently.

John H. D. Watson said...

God, it really does. I wonder what Sherlock's going to name his degus...

John H. D. Watson said...

DW - Ha! No, of course you don't. I'm sure you'd never read that sort of thing. (It still sounds better than Twilight.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

That sounds suspiciously like he's definitely getting them, Danger. Shame on you!

*IF* he gets Degus, given they're cute, harmless little creatures, probably something like 'Pestilence' and 'Death', or 'War' and 'Famine' or something. 'Blood Spatter' and 'Contusions'?

John H. D. Watson said...

Hematoma and Laceration?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Manslaughter and Murder?

John H. D. Watson said...

Murder and Mayhem?

kholly said...

The trick to a good pet name is taking something descriptive and then putting it in a foreign language which makes it suddenly sound cool. I once had a dog named Maly Galu. Sounds good, means small stray dog. (In a combination of Slovak and Chechewa but that's what you get for being the pet of former Peace Corps volunteers.)

What would Blood Splatter and Contusions be in Italian?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha - um, something like 'Spruzzo di Sangue' and 'Contusione', I think.

John H. D. Watson said...

Huh. They both sound quite nice...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You're just a sucker for a Romance Language.

John H. D. Watson said...

Watch it, mister. One more romance novelist joke and you won't enjoy the consequences.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I didn't mean that! Italian is a Romance Language. You like me speaking it, therefore you like it even when I'm saying horrible things, because you don't know what they mean!

John H. D. Watson said...

...All right. You're off the hook. This time.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Grazie, Dolcezza

ginnyvos said...

Mine would be Pieternel Rietvoorn. That actually sounds like a very oldfashioned farmgirls name, nothing much sexy about it at all... So what's the other names?

Random Anon Lurker said...

Responding to something further up in the conversation...

DISCWORLD??? I love those books! Have you gotten Greg or the boys to read them yet? (If not - Greg, start with Night Watch, and Sherlock, you'd like Wee Free Men, and Mycroft... I don't know, probably something with Vetinari in it!)

Excuse me. I get excitable when it's Discworld.

Anonymous said...

My mother once told me never to name a pet something you'd be embarrassed to shout when your pet has escaped and you're searching the neighborhood for it.

John- I love the Discworld books! They are wonderful! Also, I have a Kindle. I don't use it. It is weird. My parents bought it for me because I was running out of space to put my books (I have nearly 400 now), but I like my real books better. The Kindle just isn't the same.

Bronwyn said...

Mine is Schnapps 18th Street. Not so strippery. I suppose I could use one of the other streets. Schnapps Sullivan Chase. Schnapps Fox Chapel.

Hmmmm.
Bronwyn

mazarin221b said...

Pammy Dovin. Oh god.

There was a girl, and I am not joking in the least, in my dorm at school named Denisa Paradise. Her nickname - nickname, mind you - was Porn Star.

Tink said...

My name already -is- a fairy name. But let's see. Stripper name: Candy Washington. Sounds like the naughty relative of our founding father. (Bronwyn: Go with Schnapps Sullivan Chase. People can 'chase' you around!)

I'm glad the frog pond is getting done soon! I've been looking forward to that a lot! I hope there are pictures or drawings of it as it goes!

John H. D. Watson said...

Mazarin - I think you're tied with Sally for the best/worst one.

Bronwyn - if you shortened it to Schnapps Fox, you'd have a winner.

Anon 1 - they haven't read them, no. I hadn't considered them for Sherlock, but actually, he might like the Watch ones. The Wee Free Men, while more age appropriate, I think has more magic than he'd be willing to stomach. I don't quite know if L would like them or not. Hm.

Anon 2 - Ha, I feel vindicated. Especially with the footnotes on the Discworld books. Also, that's very wise advice from your mum.

rereader said...

I never had a pet, so I guess I can't become a stripper. One more career path closed off!

REReader said...

(John, do you ever sleep?)

John H. D. Watson said...

Tink - I missed yours, Candy Washington is right up there with Marmalade Foxwell!

hsavinien said...

Cinnamon Delcy... That sort of works, actually.

I'm a huge fan of the Discworld books too and DI Lestrade, you definitely need to be introduced to Commander Sam Vimes. I think you'd like him.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm going back to sleep now, honestly.

RR - I sleep, just not always through the night. Although considerably more often than I used to.

REReader said...

Well, I'm glad it's better than it was. (Yes, I'm something of a fussbudget. I apologize, I know it can be a bit annoying!)

Bronwyn said...

I was actually pondering Schnapps Chapel.

I'm going to have to weigh in on the other side of the ereader issue. I have a Nook color, and I adore it with all my heart. I've already crammed something like 500 books and essays in that bad boy and I carry it literally everywhere. It's so much more portable than carrying books, because I read so fast, I'm likely to finish one whilst about somewhere and then have nothing to read. Which, yes, is a fate worse than nails on a chalkboard.

So, I'm a big fan. I still have an ungodly number of books at home, but the Nook has been wonderful. Also, because it's all digital, no one can see what I'm reading by the cover. It makes it far less awkward to read things like "Steeped in Blood" or "Stiff: The Adventuresome Life of Human Cadavers" in public. I cannot tell you how many stilted conversations come out of things like that.

*cradles Nook like a baby*
Bronwyn

piplover said...

I would be Thumper Newcomer.

In my defense, we had a rabbit and loved Bambi. Still...

piplover said...

I have a Kindle, which I love for when I travel. Now instead of trying to take 10 books with me (I'm a very fast reader) I put them all on my Kindle and don't have to worry about it.

I also love my hard copies, and wouldn't give them up for anything. I think having both like having your cake and being able to eat it, too!

Lyra said...

Mine will be Molly MM...huh... Quite good.

Can't wait for some pond digging action~ ;p

Tink said...

John: I know right? I think I may have to hold on to that as an alias. So if you see anything from Candy Washington, it's me hiding :D

Bronwyn: God I love my nook. I want a nook colour SO bad, but I have not the funds. ALAS. Go The Fuck To Sleep isn't available on the b&w nook. ;_; What misery is that?! I have roughly half the library I physically have on my nook, and then some that I don't. But it really is harder to carry around your library when you unexpectedly get stuck in a waiting room for three hours.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - He does sleep. Sometimes. And nags me about sleeping a lot...

rereader said...

Ah, well, I guess he can't object too much if I fuss at him sometimes! Or at you... :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nope, not really!

But I'm up for work... do you ever sleep?

rereader said...

Ha! I guess ai earned that. It's only 1:00 am here (in New York), and I am in bed right now, winding down. I'm pretty night-owlish.

Tink said...

Greg: Morning! Though what you're doing up so early is beyond me. I'm about to go to bed, so I'm giving you a big internet hug now before I pass out! <3

RR: Also, hi! We can go to bed together ;D

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ah, okay.

Me too, except I have to be up early. Sherlock's up with me, discussing the likes and dislikes of tadpoles while I drink coffee and wake up. Winding up, you could say...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Tink - it's just gone 6am! That's not early in my book. Pre-5 is early. I need to leave for the Yard in the next ten minutes.

rereader said...

Hi, Tink, and good night!

L, I think tadpole preferences must be a far better start to the day than reading the morning paper; lately that's been more likely to induce suicidal depression than anything else. Sherlock might induce some confusion, but hardly depression!

Ria said...

E-readers! I have a Kindle and I'm... fond of it. I don't love it like my hypothetical firstborn, but I put my textbooks on it so that I don't get a hunchback walking to class, and it's nice to be able to get new books when I run out regardless of location. Honestly, I only think they're essential if you travel a lot or do tons of reading. They're also best for people who like either very old or very new books: you can get out of copyright stuff for free on the Internet, and their new releases are competitively priced, but most things that have come out in the last 5-50 years are cheaper in used paperback format.

My stripper name would be Darcy Sweets Adler.

Small Hobbit said...

I'm still debating about the merits of a kindle. Certainly it would be easier than carrying a heavy book, but more expensive when I left it on the train, at least second hand paperbacks are cheap to replace.

My stripper name would be Kipper Paddock.

Becca said...

Goodness, I don't remember the name of the first street I lived on or my first pet. That's somewhat alarming.

I have a Nook, the black and white version, and I prefer the screen on that one over the color. It's perfect for all those subway rides, and I was spending an hour on the subway twice a day when I was working. I have never bought any ebooks for it, however, I read mostly pdf's of stories that are on the internet free of cost.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

RR - yes, listening to Sherlock is generally preferable to the news.

Ria and SH those are both fine stripper names.

As for reading - I never have time! If I had more free time I'd play my guitars more, ride my bike more and spend more time with Sherlock and Mycroft (when he's around) and John, doing things.

John H. D. Watson said...

6am is definitely early.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Not. Anything begining with a 4 is early. 5 or 6 both perfectly reasonable times.

Can you ask Mrs T if she wants a big tape measure for pond design? I'll bring home a 25 metre one for Sherlock if she does.

And reassure her that whatever the design, we won't really level the entire school.

Today it's too hot. My office is like a greenhouse. We've been forced onto the streets, just for some respite. What are you up to?

John H. D. Watson said...

We're not really building a 25 metre pond, are we? I'll ask anyway.

I'm looking at Kindles actually. They still seem kind of weird.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha, no! I hope not.

They're just good tapes - long, that can hook onto a stake at one end, and they're not metal, so they bend around corners/into funny shapes etc. But I also thought she might want to measure the whole back grassy section, so everyone knows exactly how far ffrom the wall/back door etc. we'll be digging. For accuracy.

I see hundreds of people with Kindles. The screens are quite amazingly book-like. Not like a computer at all.

John H. D. Watson said...

But...batteries.

Do you want to get something to eat after I pick up Sherlock?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You've run out of batteries AGAIN? You do have a lot of fun when I'm not around. Would never have bought it for you if I'd known....oh, do you mean for the Kindle? My mistake.

I think they last for ages, don't they? I don't know.

Are you implying I may not have eaten? Seeing you both would be great, yeah, we've just got back to the yard.

Anonymous said...

John, I agree about the batteries. Was reading the Hunger Games on an e-book reader on an airplane and the batteries ran out (it was an 11 hour flight). On one hand, I could take all three of them on the plane with me. On the other, I was landing for a layover at Heathrow where there aren't any convenient outlets (esp. for American-style plugs) and I had another 13 hour flight ahead of me when I would be stuck not know what happened next!

Sergeant Donovan to you said...

Doctor, if you even think about calling me that name he told you when you're here, you'll spend the next few hours performing surgery to put yourself back together. Got it?

John H. D. Watson said...

Yes I meant for the Kindle!

Speaking of recharging coppers, yes, I am implying you probably haven't eaten, and we'll be there shortly. Mrs T says yes please to the big measuring tape.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sally - right, got it. Absolutely.

John H. D. Watson said...

(It is the best one yet though.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Be careful Danger, I do like you being in one piece.

Dottie said...

Come on Sally, tell the nice people on the internet your stripper name ;-)

Mine's Harry Godfrey, which I think sounds like a character from Eastenders...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

The reason she's so narky is that I've already put it on here, Dottie. Somewhere above. It's Marmalade Foxwell.

I may not survive the day...

kholly said...

I'm kind of jealous of Marmalade Foxwell actually. That's way better than mine: Mia Bittersweet.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I like yours, Kholly. Although perhaps you're a club owner, not a stripper...

kholly said...

Yeah, it sounds more like a silent film star than a stripper. But I suppose that's nothing to complain about.

John H. D. Watson said...

Mia Bittersweet sounds too classy for a stripper. Maybe a romance novel character...

Sally didn't kill me while I was there by the way, though she did give me some very threatening looks.

REReader said...

I'm not going to weigh in on ereaders, as I have a deep grudge against them--I'm a book designer, and they want to put me out of business. Which all book lovers should be deeply disturbed by. (Just saying! But an undesigned or badly designed book is a horror to read. And ebooks are mostly undesigned, since the format they are in doesn't support real design.) However, as a rabid reader, I can appreciate that anyone who travels a lot--or has accessibility issues, or has heavy textbooks/manuals to schlep around--would definitely benefit from one. Wouldn't want to be reading from a several-hundred-dollar device on the subway, though--it's like wearing a sign that says, "Please mug me"! So, no vote.

Sherlock, how is the tadpole pool designing going at school?

Since I have never had a pet, I suppose my stripper name would be just "Bennett". Which sounds like an IT professional or lawyer more than a stripper.

Becca said...

The batteries are getting better with each generation, at a pace that's a bit ridiculous. (Compared to, say, the 90's and early 00's.)

A word on Kindles versus other similar devices. Amazon has a nasty habit of pulling books off of Kindles when they get into a dispute with a publisher. They did return it when things were settled, but without any of the notes users can add.

Becca said...

REReader - there was a time I felt the same way on the subway, but these days, on any given car, there are about 40 Nooks/Kindles and another 20 iPads. Safety in numbers. It's a very rare person who isn't using something electronic on the morning commute.

REReader said...

You do realize that on NO ereader do you own the books you buy--you are sort of renting the right to read them. You can't sell them when you're done, you can't lend them to a friend, you can't donate them to a hospital or library.

But I have to admit they are very cool toys. If I had the money, I'd probably go for an iPad. iPads are beautiful, and lovely all-round toys. Good for magazines and newspaper reading, too. *sigh*

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