10 November 2011

By the time I get to ten, I'm right back in your arms again.

(don't judge the song lyric today. Google provided.)

Today's been...the sort of day I don't even want to talk about.

So I wanted to answer a happy question. (I need more questions, or we'll move onto PACE rules and regs. You've been warned.)

X said:


Since John told us all about your first date, I'm going to be greedy/nosy and inquire into your and John's first kiss.

Or, alternately, YOUR first kiss. :D I'm feeling soppy tonight, what can I say? 




Right. Well. First things first - my first kiss really wasn't anything special, I'm afraid. In a club (I was underage) in Bristol. I don't remember his name - if I ever knew it. It was wet, sloppy and more a vague distraction from his hands down my jeans. It really wasn't very noteworthy.

However, fast forward 30 years and...

John and I had been out to dinner. Which was a first - until then it had been coffee and daytime meetings.

So, we had a lovely dinner, and afterward, being a gent (and with no ulterior motives!) I obviously offered to walk John home. (He couldn't have walked me home - not South of the river at that time of night :) )

We chatted, and walked and then suddenly there was his front door and the night was going to end and I didn't know what to do, except that I had to do something, because ...well, just because.

So after a moment of hesitation where I don't think either of us quite knew if we should shake hands, have a hug or what I thought the worst he could do was punch me in the face if I'd got it wrong. So I put on hand on his waist and leaned forward and....

he laughed. Which made me laugh. And then, between giggles, he told me I looked far too serious. Which I undoubtedly did. And probably reasonably confused, too. Anyway, then we were laughing and leaning closer and...it just seemed the right thing to do. So we kissed. We didn't stand in the street snogging like teenagers, it was just a short, sweet kiss. Nowhere near long enough, even though it seemed to last forever. We had a bit of hug and promised to see each other again soon.

And when I finally left to head for the tube we held hands until we had to let go, him on the step to his flat, me walking away, looking at him, trying not to walk into a lamppost.

I pretended not to notice the two little faces pressed against the window upstairs, who had clearly watched our every move, despite it being well past bedtime...

70 comments:

Small Hobbit said...

This is really very sweet. Sorry, you probably don't feel sweet, but you are.

And before you get driven to writing about PACE rules and regs, how about some of your favourite parts of London (excluding Danger's bedroom).

REReader said...

Awwwwwwww, that's the sweetest story (in a good way!). Thanks, I needed some happy today, too.

With the perfect funny coda--I can totally see them!

(Sorry your day was so horrid. Again. You and John give each other some hugs from me, okay?)

(Sherlock, maybe you'd like to be hug deliverer too? Thanks!)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

My day isn't anywhere near as bad as the people being threatened.

Hope you're okay?

John H. D. Watson said...

You are incredibly sweet, and it was a lovely kiss.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I mean...my day isn't as bad as their day. Did that make sense?

REReader said...

Oh, right, question! Have you had any celebrity encounters to tell about? (And you can define "celebrity" as loosely as you like.)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You're incredibly sweet too.

And even the boys have their moments. Clearly they would have charged to your defence had I tried anything ;)

Anon Without A Name said...

I'm sorry you've had a shitty day, and hope that it's being improved by hugs from your gorgeous boyfriend again.

I'm impressed that you managed to get your first kiss *whilst* you were getting felt up; you know most people start with a kiss and work their way up from there, right? Clearly you were a bit of a sex god even back then :-p

The story of your and John's first kiss is adorable and sweet, much like the two of you. And I'm LOLing at the idea of Sherlock and Mycroft watching out for John :-)

piplover said...

Awwww! What a lovely first kiss! Thanks for sharing. I can totally picture two little faces watching, guarding John's virtue. :-P

Here's a question. My sister has lived in London for 2 years, and yet had never done anything touristy until I visited. So have you ever done anything touristy, even though you live in London? Such as visiting the Tower or watching the changing of the guards just because?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless - I think it was nothing to do with being a sex God and everything to do with not knowing what I was doing and the club being a meat market.

All my days are massively improved by hugs from my gorgeous boyfriend.

I survived, so Sherlock and Mycroft must have approved a bit, even back then ;)

John H. D. Watson said...

Ha. I should hope so after everything that happened in Dartmoor. If they hadn't liked you after that, I don't know what it would've taken!

Anon Without A Name said...

You must have been doing something right :-p

You seem almost surprised that the boys approved of you. John's never mentioned you doing anything during your moors/dogs/SAS/murders escapade that would have made them not like you - unless he left something out? Anyway, I'm guessing that they must have picked up on you making John happier or something.

I forgot to give you a question. I know you like music; do you like any other forms of art? Painting, sculpture, architecture? Anything like that?

John H. D. Watson said...

John's never mentioned you doing anything during your moors/dogs/SAS/murders escapade that would have made them not like you

Because he didn't! He saved their lives in fact. I don't know why he thought they might not have approved.

Desert Wanderer said...

I have the biggest grin on my face from reading that. Every inch of that story is adorable, from trying not to run into a pole to the boys upstairs to the giggling. It's also probably a good metaphor for your relationship, how the two of you just fit together.

As for questions, I have a millioin, but don't want to monopolize, so here are three.

1. Tell us about being promoted to DI and how you met Sally.
2. Do you have any fond/happy memories of school? Any pranks you pulled?
3. Top Five Movies to Have on a Desert Island (or books, or albums, or paintings, or sculptures, etc. if you prefer)

hsavinien said...

That's an excellent first kiss story. (Yours and the Doctor's.)

I know you mentioned a deceased friend who helped you out a lot when you were young and green, but did you have any other adults/older mentory-type people?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I just thought they might not have liked me muscling in on their nanny.

I frequently disliked Mum's boyfriends just for taking her attention away from us.

Small Hobbit said...

Instead of which the nanny has brought an extra person into their lives.

Desert Wanderer said...

I don't imagine Dartmoor was a place where they got a lot of interaction with good people, with some obvious exceptions like Mrs. H and Anthea. The more people who treat them like the special people they are, the better.

Besides, how could any sane person not like you, Lestrade? We've only met you on the internet and we like you. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

DW - you lot like me, maybe, but there's no evidence sane people do. ;)

Desert Wanderer said...

Yes. Clearly we're insane for liking two intelligent, compassionate, dedicated, hard-working, good men. What ever could we be thinking? :P

Sometimes, you're too silly for words. I'm sure Doc will back that up.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I've been told sanity is overrated. But then most of the people who've told me that are in Dartmoor now...

Desert Wanderer said...

I suppose it is less fun than the other options.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I think freedom is a lot more fun than prison, though. Most of the time.

Desert Wanderer said...

That is a fair point. But this is too philisophical a discussion to be having so early in the morning, so I have a story I think you'll enjoy.

This guy who works on base at the car care center was telling me about how he hates military people and the military itself because it keeps changing the rules. Apparently, he was diagnosed by the Air Force with asthma as a 2-year-old, but eventually outgrew it and was cleared when he was 17. He tried to enlist in the Army, but they wouldn't take him because they said he had asthma.

He says "I complained that if the AF says I don't have asthma, the Army should, too. And while they were trying to figure it out, the Army came down and said they wouldn't accept drug dealers, so that was the end of that."

I said "That implies a certain something about you."

He said "It doesn't imply anything. Well, yes it does, but it was my first offence, so they dropped it to a misdemeanor with intent to distribute."

He feels the Army is violating his right to serve based soley on his non-asthma, and doesn't believe his criminal record has anything to do with it. Are all criminals so...intelligent?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You know...today's blog post may become 'excuses and/or alibis that I have been given'. Your guy makes some of the criminals I've dealt with look like mensa candidates.

Rayna said...

You lot are ridiculously adorable.

Desert Wanderer said...

That would be a great topic. I'm sure you've gotten some great ones over your long and distinguished career. :)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I assume all theery intelligent criminals don't get caught as much...it's the really stupid ones we see a lot of. Sometimes you want to take them aside and say 'look, you're not even trying here. Do you want to go back and start again and at least give us a run for our money?'

Desert Wanderer said...

lol As long as you don't start giving "How to Be a Better Criminal" or set up a consulting firm on the side...

Desert Wanderer said...

...there was supposed to be "classes" in there somewhere.

innie said...

That is a grin-inducing story if I ever heard one, and I'd really like to know what the conversation between your own little Statler and Waldorf was that night.

Still curious about what you've always wanted to cook.

Anon Without A Name said...

A further question, prompted by noticing your poll results: did you buy a new scarf?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Not yet! I'm not quite convinced on the cashmere angle. Although I do enjoy cuddling John when he's cashmere-clad... I need one though, this morning was horrible and cold and damp.

REReader said...

I checked, and it is not yet illegal to own two, or even three, scarves.

ARE there any very intelligent career criminals? Because it seems to me that there is something lacking in a brain that turns to crime to make money in a society like ours, when there are perfectly legal ways to make obscenely large fortunes that don't carry the risk of prison time. (Of course that doesn't follow for crimes with motivations other than money.)

John H. D. Watson said...

If you don't get one soon, I'm going to get you the scarf equivalent of the Robin Sparkles jacket.

REReader said...

Don't forget to take a photo for us if you do, John!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'm sort of imagining that would be like a...Justin Bieber scarf, or something? Is there anyone worse?

Lindsay said...

I own many scarves. My favorite is made of fleece. :D Sadly the company that made it is gone now- risk of online business in 2000 I suppose.

Lestrade, you might like this one.

I had a case the other week with a defendant who was caught like this: a police officer doing vehicle patrol saw him hand a little tied-off baggie to somebody. Suspicious that he might be selling drugs, the officer approached to talk to the guy, and ended up asking if he could do a search for drugs.

The guy said sure, and the officer found two more little tied of baggies of weed hidden in a slit cut in the waistband of his jeans, by the button. (The officer told me that often guys will consent to a search if they believe the officer won't find the drugs they have on them.)

When the officer pulled out the drugs, the guy blurted out "I didn't know that was there. These aren't my pants."

The officer replied "Well, whose pants are they then?"

The guy said "I don't know, I just put them on!"

Sadly, I lost the trial on a motion- the judge decided the officer was lying because nobody who was on probation for a drug offense would consent to a search that way. (I think the judge gives these knuckleheads too much credit for common sense.) Too bad, I really wanted to see what the jury would make of the "these aren't my pants" defense!

Desert Wanderer said...

I think you just invented a whole new subspecialty, Doc. Doctoring by Threats. Seems to be particularly effective against recalcitrant DIs and young geniuses. You should write a monograph. :)

REReader said...

There well might be Justin Bieber scarves around--I saw a rack of Justin Bieber watches just las week! (Alas, my mom declined to buy one.:D)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

DW - his threats haven't worked yet!
Lindsay - Ive heard similar excuses, yeah.

RR I imagine every popstar now has ever single product known to man branded now.

REReader said...

Ah, well, they don't get much from selling their music, they need to earn a living somehow...!

(Seriously, I was shocked to realize how very little singers get from music sales and concert sales--even the most successful concert tours barely break even on ticket sales and the record labels take most of the music sales profits. Just about all the artist earnings are from merchandise. If you enjoyed a concert, buy a t-shirt.)

John H. D. Watson said...

his threats haven't worked yet!

Key word: yet.

Desert Wanderer said...

I don't know that I would taunt the Doc like that, Lestrade. You might be forced to add that to the "criminally dumb things" list.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

DW - you're assuming I wouldn't enjoy the 'punishment'.

Desert Wanderer said...

Fair point. Hear that Sherlock? Lestrade wants a Justin Bieber scarf for Christmas. One like this:

http://buzzworthy.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/bieberscarf.jpg

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Ha! That is actually more tasteful than I was expecting.

However I feel you're all confusing 'won't buy a scarf' with 'hasn't yet got around to buying a scarf'. I will get one.

piplover said...

Actually, I think he would prefer this one, Sherlock. It's more colorful!

http://www.claires.com/store/goods/Tweens/cat310369/Scarves/p81790/Heart-Warming-Justin-Bieber-Scarf/

Desert Wanderer said...

Well done, Pip. It looks warmer as well. More practical. ;)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Piplover - that is more the tasteless style I was excepting, for it to be on par with Danger Sparkles.

piplover said...

I love scarves, but I've been very good and limited myself to 4. One with my college colors, one my sister sent me from King's College, one I made myself, and one I got in Korea.

I love to make them, too. They make great presents, and they don't take long to crochet. A person can never have enough scarves, but getting them is half the fun!

Small Hobbit said...

Ooh, lovely scarf Piplover, would so suit L.

And on the moronic crim section: a gunman held up the post office in a nearby village, unfortunately he came from the village and although he had covered his face everyone recognised him.

Anon Without A Name said...

Blimey Pip, that's, um, well, I'm lost for words. You definitely have mad scarf skillz :-)

I think it would look lovely with hot pants and wings at Pride next year though...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless, if I wore a scarf with my hot pants and wings no one would see my spiked, diamenté leather dog collar, and that would never do.

piplover said...

Well, you could always wear the scarf around your waist, like a belt. Then you could totally show your collar off, and your scarf! ;-P

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I fear that would detract from mine and John's matching gold hot pants... unless he had a matching Bieber scarf, of course.

piplover said...

Ahh, yes, the hotpants are very important!

I hope Sherlock will be willing to draw us a picture of your wonderful matching outfits!

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I hope you will all have forgotten this conversation by Pride next year.

REReader said...

Don't count on it, we all have good memories. :D

Uh oh, it's already almost 1:15pm, and Shabbat starts at... *looks it up* EEEP! 4:23pm! Gotta run--in case I don't have time later, Shabbat shalom, all!

(If anyone is at all curious about the Shabbat thing, I put up a post about it on my blog just now. If you've any questions, ask here or there, and I'll answer after!)

Anon Without A Name said...

Your optimism is really quite endearing, Lestrade. Misplaced, but endearing :-)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

My optimism is currently somewhere far into the minuses.

Anon Without A Name said...

Another crappy day?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It wasn't. It was pretty good. I don't know, actually. Had news I don't know how to take. Thinking about it, it probably isn't as bad as it seemed.

REReader said...

Should I be worrying? I'm worrying. I hope it's all fine...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No, please, don't worry. Nothing to do with me or John or the boys, just family stuff.

It's not really bad news. Just...well, anyway, like I said, not sure what to think.

REReader said...

Well, okay...I hope everyone is okay, and it turns out to be not bad really.

Anon Without A Name said...

Hmm. OK, well, I'm guessing that you'll be home soon and you'll be able to talk it through with John and maybe get your head around it a bit better. And of course, there's plenty of people here for you too, if you need.

Desert Wanderer said...

Keep your head up, Lestrade. Hope it turns out to be good. Like Doc in tight leather pants good. Or sunny days off on country roads with no speed limits good.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I've posted a new post about it. You lot always seem to have intelligent things to say.

And yeah, the hug I got from John helped too.

X said...

Pardon my delayed reply, Lestrade -- since I'm traveling again I haven't been checking my email as closely. Thank you so much for answering my question, and with a double story no less! Your and John's first kiss was very sweet indeed -- glad that you avoided the light post. :)

Another question, then: before you started dating the doctor and became a part of the boys' family, did you ever think about or want to have kids? You seem so great with them, not to mention with your younger siblings growing up, which is why I'm curious.

Post a Comment