4 November 2011

May the fourth be with you.

(Yes, I'm struggling with my numbered titles.)

So, this may not make as much sense as it ought to, because it's a hard question and I've only had one cup of coffee since waking up.

Desert Wanderer wanted to know something I'm unexpectedly grateful for.

Which...wow. Big question. i hope I've understood it correctly...maybe I'm just 'grateful', rather than 'unexpectedly grateful'. I dont know...anyway.

What immediately springs to mind is 'everything my life is right now'. But that's not very helpful.

I think you all know well enough how grateful I am to John and the boys, so I thought I'd cast slightly further afield.

Im grateful for my sister, Nicky. I don't quite know how to put it, but...if I was her, I'm not sure I'd be as supportive of me as she is.

I can virtually hear the rattle of her keyboard as she starts disagreeing with me...

We were a bit of a team growing up, but, being the oldest (and being a boy) I tended to be 'in charge' a lot. And I can see how some siblings wouldn't like that much. It's no secret Danny and I never exactly got on. It's hard enough being told what to do by your parents, let alone by your older brother.

I made a lot of mistakes, I made a lot of stupid decisions, I didn't know what I was doing most of the time, and in the end I left all that for her to deal with and ran away to London.

And still, despite all that, she's been the most supportive of me that you could ever wish for.

Even when times with Bryan were bad and I basically cut myself off from her - and everyone else - because I didn't want them to see what I had become, even then, she was there for me, and when we finally parted, she didn't say a word about what a shit I'd been to her, she was just still there for me.

So I didn't expect her to do any of that for me...and I'm very very grateful that she did. And that she gets on so well with John, and all of that. She's a fantastic sister.

15 comments:

Desert Wanderer said...

You understood it perfectly and answered wonderfully. I'm sorry if it made you think of some things you'd rather not. It's harvest time and a time for being grateful, and I wanted you to share that with us.

I'm rambling, so I'll stop now. But thank you. *hugs*

John H. D. Watson said...

if I was her, I'm not sure I'd be as supportive of me as she is.

I'm 100% certain you would be, but I do see what you mean. It was a difficult situation for both of you - for all of you.

innie said...

Ohhhhh. This really got to me, L, and I bet Nicky's eyes are welling up right now. Having a great person as a sibling is one of the biggest blessings of my very lucky life and I'm so pleased yours was a light for you.

It sounds like you both had to take on way too much responsibility far too early and became partners even as you tried to shield each other - that's lovely.

Go, Nicky!

(And yeah, DW, it does, but I liked the expressiveness of that rather ridiculous image.)

Anon Without A Name said...

What a lovely, thoughtful, post. I imagine that Nicky has a very different perspective on things though :-)

(This made me think of a thing I'd love to read about, but is probably one of those you'd prefer not to discuss: you've talked or made references at various points to your family almost ripping apart when you were younger, and to things with Danny, and to a large fire at home... and I'm not quite sure what I'm asking here, but I suppose I'm being both curious and hideously nosey.)

REReader said...

If Nicky doesn't want to tear up, I'll do it for her.

Calliope said...

I'm with the others above. *sniffle*

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

DW - on the contrary, it made me write down things I probably should have told her long ago.

Missing you, Danger. And Sherlock.

Small Hobbit said...

I'm with my fellow interneters on this one.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - miss you too. How is it going?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Okay. Tracking down kids who shouldn't even be up at this time of night for murders, you know.

Least it's not raining.

John H. D. Watson said...

That's something. You're being careful, right? Sorry, just need to check.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, we are.

Don't be sorry. I like you caring, remember?

John H. D. Watson said...

All right. Good. I'll try to sleep now, see you in the morning.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Night love. See you in the morning.

Ring ifyou want, if you wake up or whatever.

Nicky said...

I've spent a day trying to think of something to say to you in return.

And all I can think, that won't take pages and pages, is that I'm extremely grateful to have you, too.

I see you're going to get to watch fireworks together - I hope you have a lovely time. We're just off out now.

Take care on your nightshifts.

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