14 June 2011

We wake in the night, to stereophonic silence

So I doubt any of you don't know what happened today. Yesterday.

The house got broken into. We can only presume it happened because every other day the place would be empty then. John would have been on the school run, usually with the dogs, to walk them. Security stick with the boys. I'm at work.

But yesterday a perfect storm of music lessons, new security and John desperately needing some peace and quiet and sleep meant he was there.



He's...okay. Looks like he's had a nasty brawl. And that's before you know there are stitches and glue lines in his head. He didn't want to stay in hospital. I understand that, and I haven't been through half of what he has in them. In his head...I can't say. I hope he's okay. Being attacked in your own home is...anyway, time will tell.

Right now he's asleep - a mix of fatigue, head injury and painkillers, I imagine. Sherlock's in the bed, too. He and Mycroft were in the bedroom, being very grown up and sensible about sharing. We were on the sofa bed. I brought Sherlock in a few hours after he went to bed, all small and sad and having bad dreams about John being hurt. So he clambered in to give John a cuddle. He's about a million degrees and flopping about like a beached fish.

After about the third kick and Sherlock taking all the covers I gave up and got up. Been sat here ever since. Can't sleep anyway. Was only staying in bed to make sure John was okay. Can do that from here. He seems peaceful enough.

So. John attacked, house broken into, boys upset, total disruption and chaos, god knows what psychological damage.

What would you do if there was someone who brought all that into your life?

Mrs Holmes made it pretty clear that if any of her employees had put everyone at risk they'd never have been heard from again.

As it's me, I get special dispensation. Risk assessment, I said last night. Me being the risk. Mrs Holmes being the assessor.

So, to those of you who asked, yes, we know why the house was targeted, yes, we know who/what they were after. Yes, we probably should have expected it.

Yes, it was entirely to do with the Op I'm running at the moment. The same people who've been sending the death threats. And John should never, ever, have been in danger.

I shouldn't have been so complacent. I discussed with Anthea the potential risk to the boys. I didn't even bloody think about the chance that none of the security would be around.

No, I haven't discussed this with John yet. He didn't seem up to it. I mean, he knows about the op, I talked to him about that. He knew there was a slight risk. He just doesn't know that's who it was, yet.

I just...I don't know what to do. I do know the boys have the best security in the world. I know I'll be a lot more paranoid about John's safety. And I know he managed to defend himself - he's not some bloody delicate flower. But...Christ, I think I aged about ten years when John called. Spent the ride over there trying not to imagine the worse or throw up.

I feel like I should just stay away from them all, until it's cleared up, but I'm fairly sure that no one would actually want me to. Doesn't seem like there's any way to keep anyone even vaguely happy.

You can't know how much I want to walk out of here right now into the night and not come back until after the trial, if it gets that far. But I know that's a cowardly way out. And what I leave behind won't be the safe, idyllic world I'm trying so hard to imagine. John, Mycroft and Sherlock deserve so much bloody more than me.

Christ, it's a mess.

55 comments:

Lindsay said...

I'm sorry, Lestrade. Got to love how an absolutely horrible week can suddenly become twice as horrible.

I think you're right about nobody wanting you to walk away.

I hope things settle down all right. I wish I could do more, but I'll just go on hoping that you all muddle through this and things get better again.

Amy said...

I don't know what to say, except that I'm sorry. What an absolutely awful situation to be in. And all because you're just doing your job.

John H. D. Watson said...

noyout can'tleave i need you

justblue said...

saitaina said...

Lestrade, put John back to bed.

And talk to him about this, openly and honestly about everything. You guys really need to lay everything out on the table and discuss this.

Also, one of you might want to talk to Anthea or Mrs. Holmes about security for John. Yes, he's the nanny, but losing him would do harm to the boys and even if this mess clears up, whose to say someone's not going to go after him again (not in relation to you even, someone could attack the house aiming to hurt/piss off Mrs. Holmes by proving it's unsafe. They don't have to go after the boys, to make a point).

But seriously, talk. Now.

...well, not now, now (wait until John's painkillers wear off), but you know what I mean.

piplover said...

*Hugs to you all*

Break ins are scary, no matter what age you are. I'm just glad John is OK. And L, even if you left now, that's no guarantee the bad guys will not try something again. Sometimes bad things happen, and all you can do is pick up the pieces and keep going. It's not easy, but it's easier when all the pieces are in the same location and can fit themselves together again.

Take care of yourselves, and you should definitely treat yourselves to ice cream tomorrow. Ice cream makes everything better.

Lupe said...

I don't wanna give you the "you should feel lucky/grateful that it wasn't worse!" speech, because I think it's bullshit, and I don't wanna bother you with my Third World Country Anecdotes, so I'll just say that I'm very sorry that this happened to you, but I'm sure you'll make it through. Because you guys are very strong, and you have resources and support. :) Don't stay away from them, Lestrade, they need you, and you need them, too. I'm sending virtual hugs and sugar skulls, and good vibes! :)

crankybookwyrm said...

I can't say what I want to say without it sounding like a lecture. You don't need a lecture tonight.

Right now, everyone's emotions are running very high. Now's not the time to make life-changing decisions. Try to relax and take care of each other. When you're all calmer, sit down and honestly figure out where you want to go, with everything. (And it sounds like Mrs. H. might need to be brought in so she's not cutting you down after something happens.)

For tonight, and tomorrow if you can, take it easy and take care of each other. Blessings and hugs to you all.

X said...

Risk assessment, I said last night. Me being the risk. Mrs Holmes being the assessor.

That was actually exactly what I was worrying about in my comment on John's post. I didn't know if Mrs. H would make a command decision with or without your leave.

I know right now you can't help but feel it's your fault and that you should go, but imagine the repercussions if you do? I think you'd leave three very hurt people--who love you very, very much--behind.

But it's not the internet's decision. However, making decisions in the wee hours is silly at any time; doing so when you haven't slept and are coming down off a mega adrenaline rush of worry would be even sillier.

Talk to John first. Then maybe also talk to Sherlock and Mycroft, because you're part of their lives too.

Annnnnd writing comments on blogs in the wee hours is also silly, because I'm getting preachy at you. Sorry about that. Suffice it to say that I wish you all all the best, and I hope you can come to a resolution that makes you all as happy as possible in the circumstances.

itsmeektg said...

I think everyone has said it before me, but definitely talk to John about it when he's conscious enough to actually talk back. I'm sure he'd have a bit to say about this whole thing. Just be there when he wakes up, and then for quite a long time afterward.

Take care of each other, you lot.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

John - i'm not going anywhere.

If you wake up and i'm not right there, i'm either with the boys in the other room or outside on the phone. Give me a shout.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Everyone else.

I'm not leaving. I know it would be stupid and not solve anything.

John and I will talk - he has known about the op all along. We talked about the risk. I wouldn't have agreed to take the risk without talking to him - and Anthea. We just never thought of this happening.

Lupe, I am very, very aware it could have been so much worse.

Saitaina - John is the security. I mean, as well as nanny. That's why Mrs H picked him for the role. Well, one reason.

And now i'll get coffee and wait for Sal to bring me half the contents of my office, so I can get some work done.

saitaina said...

I know John's the security, but even the best need back up. Having an extra guard just for the house wouldn't go amiss.

But, not my job, my kids or my boyfriend, you guys gotta do what's right for you. *nods*

Hopefully things will let up on you guys soon, seems like the stress is compounding.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe Mrs H will do something like that.

I'm just glad they broke in expecting the place to be empty, not ready for a fight.

Anon Without A Name said...

What would you do if there was someone who brought all that into your life?

If I loved him the way that John and the boys love you, I'd probably be hugging the living shit out of him right about now.

You're sounding a bit more, I dunno, grounded? this morning than when you wrote the blog post. Hope so, anyway. I hope someone gives you a hug or too this morning too.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You know how it is, dawn breaks and there's stuff to do - get some food for the boys, as my flat's empty of even basics, i'm here so little. And Sherlock wants to go to school, so, yeah, grounded by necessity.

Kholly said...

It may feel slightly off topic, but knowing what a struggle it was to get Sherlock to go to school in the first place it's very nice to now see that school has become someplace he feels comfortable and safe even in times of crisis. If I'd been in his shoes I can't imagine being willing to let John out of my sight even knowing there wouldn't be anything I could do to help.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Nameless - i can only hope that the reason Mrs H gave me a second chance is because she thinks I'm doing John and the boys slightly more good than bad.

John's woken up and eaten a slice of toast. He's on the sofa under a duvet now half napping, half watching really terrible daytime TV, half being slobbered on by a dopey dog, can't tell which one from here.

Mycroft's gone to his tutor's, with Anthea. He was a bit reluctant, but probably felt fairly useless here. i know I do. And he does have exams to pass for big school.

Sherlock wanted to take John to school with him...and got in a sulk when I said that wasn't going to happen. But he went in the end. Something to do with spiders...I'm afraid I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have been. I rang the school to tell them what had happened, and people are on standby to bring him back here if he decides he'd rather be here.

I'm trying to run three investigations via email and telephone from my kitchen table. Life, or death, in the case of my work, goes on.

As soon as I step back into the Yard I'mm going to be ripped apart by every different team on the joint op. And the DCI wants 'a word' about my sudden departure yesterday.

But all that can wait until John's feeling better. And until I've consumed the entire coffee output of a small country.

Anonymous said...

Mrs. H can't exactly fire you as John's boyfriend, can she? I know she wields enormous and mysterious power, but still!

And it's beyond the beyond for your DCI and teams to blame YOU for taking necessary action in response to an event that was brought about by your work.

I don't suppose you'd ever consider a career change...? It would suck because you're obviously amazing at what you do and providing a huge service to the public, appreciated or no, but you've got to be able to have a life, too, or what's the point? Going on the way you are is going to literally kill you in one way or another before you're fifty, looks like, and then everyone loses, basically.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No, she can just tell me not to go near the boys, or visit the flat. which is good as preventing John and I seeing each other. But she didn't. She wasn't nasty about it, she's just worried for the boys. She has enough to worry about, witjout me.

The DCI is going to ream me a new one for not following protocol. Nothing too serious.

And I have no clue what other jobs I could do. Answers on a postcard?

John H. D. Watson said...

Well, you're a pretty good nurse so far.

I'm going to make tea, want some?

John H. D. Watson said...

And toasted cheese. Is there cheese?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No, no cheese. Seriously no food, apart from bread, butter, marmite and jam. But one of Anthea's lads will go to the shop. He's been offering every time I go out to make phonecalls.

Anything else? You were talking about custard in your sleep. Or possibly 'bastard' or 'mustard'?

John H. D. Watson said...

I think I was dreaming about custard tarts, not sure. Uhh hold on, I'll write him a list.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

He's the one who got the bread and butter for you lot to have breakfast this morning. And I owe him for the fags I've had off him since tje boys left. (yes, that was a written confession)

John H. D. Watson said...

Can I offer hugs instead?

I'm sorry about last night.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Once again, no clue what you have to apologise for. But i shall take hugs, when I bring you your food.

And I haven't had a smoke for a few hours now. Think i'm done. Again.

Also, we can go back to yours - but not until you want to. We're fine here. Mrs Hudson just rang to say everything's cleaned up, whenever you feel ready.

John H. D. Watson said...

Keeping you up all night, worrying you, that misspelled and slightly pathetic (if heartfelt) comment at 4am.

And I'm making the food, if I don't get up and move around a bit I'll set up and never move again.

If Mrs Holmes rings again, tell her I want to speak to her.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You know, i love you, but sometimes you're an idiot.

After everything i've put you through, after every time you've been there to pick up the pieces when things have happened that you had no control over - nothing to do with, even, you apologise to me when my bloody job gets you hurt?

I doubt Mrs Holmes will call me. Think we've said enough to each other.

You can watch me make food. how's that.

John H. D. Watson said...

That's all right I suppose. I like watching you cook.

I don't think any of us seriously considered the possibility that anyone would try something with no one in the house, or with just me there. It was a pretty stupid plan on their part, really. I suppose depending on the intelligence of criminals isn't a great idea. So, we'll know better going forward. It could've been a lot worse.

You just sounded so sad in your post. I didn't want to make things worse for you. But all I could think last night was that I didn't want you to go.

Lindsay said...

I always joke that if criminals weren't so damn stupid, I'd be out of a job. Not quite as funny when sheer unbridled idiocy gets people hurt.

Glad you're (mentally at least) up and about, John. Glad you got some sleep, too, even thought it took the aid of injury and painkillers.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Was feeling pretty sorry for myself. For everything.

You know better than most what it's like being awake in the small hours, where your darkest thoughts lie in ambush for you.

Maybe if I'd had a blog all these years I wouldn't have made half the stupid decisions I have in life.

They picked up the second one earlier. From a hospital. Won't tell me anything about him, obviously.

John H. D. Watson said...

Not sure why they're mad at you for all this?

From a hospital

So I did hit him then? Good.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

They're not mad. Well, a bit, but only because they have to be. Most of them know they'd have done the same thing. Rules are rules, you know how it is.

Officially, I don't know. Unofficially, yeah, you got him. They tried to butcher him up a bit to disguise the wound, blame it on a dog or something, so we wouldn't connect him to the incident.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend in law enforcement who says that you know you are doing something right when you get threats, and that you are doing something REALLY right when someone acts on it. So, even if your superiors are a little annoyed, you must be doing a great job on whatever op you're working! Good job, Lestrade... In case no one told you that yet.

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah I get why your DCI has to say something, it's this

I'mm going to be ripped apart by every different team on the joint op.

it read like you'd hurt the investigation somehow which didn't seem at all likely.

thanks for dealing with everything last night, you were amazing.

Anon Without A Name said...

i can only hope that the reason Mrs H gave me a second chance is because she thinks I'm doing John and the boys slightly more good than bad.

Well, she'd be a fool to think otherwise, and Mr Holmes may be many things (scary, primarily), she doesn't strike me as a fool.

John - glad to see you up and posting. How're you feeling now?

And how are the boys this evening?

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm all right. Head hurts obviously, but it's not that bad. Glad to be out of the hospital. I think we'll stay here tonight and go home in the morning so we'll have the whole day to get things sorted out.

The boys are...upset. Sherlock's clingy and Mycroft's...well, reading a book right next to me on the sofa probably counts as clingy for Mycroft. He's even reading me out bits of it, in between Sherlock telling me about spiders.

I'll try to do a post tomorrow once L's told me what I'm allowed to share with the internet.

And I'm definitely having a talk with Mrs Holmes.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Not hurt...well, not as it turns out.

We had procedures in place for lots of things. Other people had procedures in place for things happening at their home addresses.

I talked to Anthea about you and the boys, and because of your...unique situation, we decided not to work in quite the same way.

Hell, until I got to you and saw the one you'd knocked out I didn't even realise we were dealing with the gang. I thought it was like you said - just a break in. And that's when I called out D&G, my DCI and India99. Something I should have done earlier. Or should have given you a codeword or something to use, to trigger it all.

As it turns out, you got them both. And all I've had to deal with all day is various phonecalls all on variations on a theme. "It says John here - is that the right name?", "It says 'partner', is that...correct?', "The report says 'boyfriend', should it be 'girlfriend'". And a lot of questions I've had to pass onto Anthea and her lot about...the weapon we don't talk about.

So I'll probably survive intact. Although my mobile phone's run flat three times since you called me, and on top of the calls I've answered I've got about 50 missed ones.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Seriously - if you're talking to Mrs H about me...I just wouldn't. We've reached an understanding.

Neither of us were exactly thinking rationally last night. We probably both said things we wouldn't have if we'd been thinking.

Anon (from 13.55) Honestly, no, right now I wouldn't consider a career change. It's not an easy job. And probably not one I'd wish on anyone else.

But despite what's happened. Despite how I felt when I got to the flat last night to find John covered in blood, despite everything, what I've been through is a tiny fraction of what this gang are doing. They've ruined hundreds of peoples' lives. They've forced people into slavery, prostitution - they've raped, murdered, blackmailed - they've ruined families and from all that, they're making a profit and living the high life. So no, right now, I would consider a career change.

Lindsay said...

"Should it be girlfriend"? Are you serious?

It's not like gay people are THAT rare, JFC.

Sometimes I am embarassed for the whole human race.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Lindsay - I can only assume it's because I don't wear my pink tutu to the meetings I've had with them. My wrists don't appear to be too limp, and I haven't tried to get off with any of them, when clearly no gay man could resist their charms.

Or, if I'm being more charitable, because they're wary of writing a report in case one of their colleagues is playing a trick on them...wouldn't exactly be unheard of.

KHolly said...

Saving the pink tutu for John are you? ;-)

John H. D. Watson said...

He looks very fetching in it, I'll have you know.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Don't think I've got the legs for it, to be honest.

And it goes so well with John's sparkly denim jacket. I just let him have it on perma-borrow.

John H. D. Watson said...

I disagree completely, it's entirely the wrong shade of pink.

L - when are you going back to work? Will you still be around tomorrow?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Umm...if you want me to be?

I've got most of the contents of my office here, but I might need to go in for an hour or so. I won't go if you want me to stay - if you're not feeling up to being on your own, or whatever reason.

John H. D. Watson said...

If could stay long enough in the morning to help get the dogs and our stuff back home? Not the whole day, I know you're busy, especially after all this.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Honestly, I only need to be there for an hour or so. Rest of the time I'm yours.

And I'm on a half day anyway on Thursday - finishing at 1, provided nothing goes completely tits up. But I've got the meeting at 4, so...I don't know how long that might take.

John H. D. Watson said...

Rest of the time I'm yours

Sounds lovely. You're going to spoil me.

Thursday - that's Bryan, right? Is there anything I can do to help, make it easier for you, anything?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

no. it'll be fine.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

who am I kidding...

I'm a complete mess.

Would you come with me? I mean...even if you're just nearby? or...something?

John H. D. Watson said...

I'd be more than happy to come with you. Grateful you asked in fact.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I...I don't even know what to tell you to expect.

Right now I'm not going to think about him. Just you.

And hope we get the bed to ourselves tonght. I feel completely wired from the coffee and completely knackered in every other way.

We can talk tomorrow or something. When there's a chance I've got the mental capacity for it.

Thank you. Really. I feel stupid and cowardly and a complete idiot, and so, so lucky to have you.

Thank you.

Rider said...

Seems to me that you exhibit all the hallmarks of a fairly strong person pushed to and a bit past their limits Lestrade.

Meaning much as how you feel is unpleasant it is all normal.

When the stress dies down a bit and you get to go out and run about with boys and dogs and finish the evening up with some of those "supplies" you'll feel a lot better.

Weather gods permitting that should be as soon as possible after the meeting with Bryan.

Hang in there till then.

Post a Comment