15 June 2011

The long road home

Where to start.

John seems a lot better - probably down to a bit of decent sleep and some rest. And he insisted on getting up and about yesterday, even if it only meant moving a few yards from the sitting room to the kitchen. He still looks like he's gone a few rounds in the ring, too. Obviously he insists he's okay. But being a frequent user of that phrase, I'm not taking it at face Value.

The boys are coping really well. Sherlock did end up in with us again last night, but we'll hope that when he's back in his own bed he might sleep through. We're giving them both lots of hugs. Mycroft's just spending a bit more time with us - although it's not like my flat is big enough for him to get far away anyway.

The second attacker was caught yesterday, which I think made everyone feel a bit better.


John's agreed to come with me to see Bryan on Thursday. I still have no idea if it's the right thing to do. I just know that right now I can't face it on my own. I'm too tired, too stressed, too weak.

I feel terrible that I'm putting John through it when he's not 100%. But I don't want to put it off.

I might just get John to be somewhere close by. i don't know. I guess we'll get there early and see what the place is like. I'd rather John was up to taking the bike - I'd feel better with a quick getaway on hand. As it is, public transport and a cab if need be will do.

I'm probably spending far too much time thinking about it all. Well, i definitely am. It feels like Bryan's been the third person in this relationship for the past few months. I just want to get rid of him.


We're going to Get all our stuff back to John's place soon - after rush hour's died down. And later on I have to get into work to deal with some fall out and check on my teams, then I'll be back with him. I don't want to leave John alone right now - even though 'alone' means 'with a security team'.

61 comments:

Sherlock said...

I want to come and see Bryan too.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No. Just no, Sherlock.

Mrs Hudson has said she'll mind you and Mycroft.

Sherlock said...

Why can John come and I can't? It's not fair.

Is John going to bash him like the men in the flat?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No one is going to bash anyone.

And you can't come because he's not a nice person, and I never want you to meet him. I wish John didn't have to either.

Shouldn't you be doing some schoolwork?

Sherlock said...

I'm looking at videos of snakes eating animals whole.

If he's not nice why did you love him more than you love John?

You should let John kick him.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I didn't love him more than John. Why would you even think that?

Sherlock said...

Because you lived with him and shared stuff with him and you won't live with us properly and your things are still in your flat and it's not even a nice flat and we can't all fit in it.

Snakes can eat whole goats.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It's considerably more complicated than that, Sherlock. We'll talk about it tonight.

Sherlock said...

It's NOT. It's easy.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sherlock, that's enough. Subject closed for the moment.

Sherlock said...

But it is easy! It was when you moved in, and when we moved to London and he is here anyway.

And it would be good.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - you're not putting me through anything. I'd be far more worried waiting at home. And I'm pretty sure I'd be fine on the bike if I can get the helmet on.

ladyeigh said...

Sherlock honey, I'm afraid grown-ups aren't as straight forward as kids!

I'm certain that G didn't move in with Bryan as soon as they met, they dated and THEN got a place together. I'm sure you realise that he was not nice to G, in fact he hurt him. If you have been with a boyfriend or girlfriend who hurts you then it can be really hard to let yourself love again - inside your head you are always a little scared that the new person will hurt you like the last person did.

G loves you and Mycroft and John and the Dogs of War. He just wants to make sure everyone is safe - and that includes him! John and the teams are there to keep you safe - G needs to be sure that he won't hurt you by being at the house all the time.

It must be really really scary to see John hurt - even if it is a little bit fascinating to a scienctist's brain (I'm one as well!). It has scared G too... grown-ups get frightened, we just try to hide it.

John, G and your mum will talk and keep everyone safe. Hopefully G will feel alright about moving in sometime - but even if he has his own flat it does not mean that he doesn't love you all or that he is going to disappear.

John told us how you chased off Nannies before. Please trust that John is not leaving and that G IS NOT LEAVING. His own place does not mean that he doesn't care... just that adults take things more slowly than kids would like sometime.

You sound very grown up a lot of the time and then you remind me of the children I have in class... remember you are 5 and trust them, please??

Hope this helps

Kira
xoxo

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, it's getting the helmet on and off that's the painful bit - take it from me. And...I suppose being there might make it less worrying for you. Just...you know, don't want him near you.

Kira - thanks. You put it far better than I ever could.

Sherlock said...

I DON'T LIKE BEING FIVE.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Wait until you try 45. It's not exactly a barrel of laughs right now.

crankybookwyrm said...

I'm glad to hear everyone is recovering. It also sounds like there may be a silver cloud in this, which is all to the good.

Good luck with Bryan tomorrow.

Sherlock said...

That's AGES away.

Why do you call him G? His name's Lestrade. Everyone calls him that.

Mycroft said...

Nicky doesn't call him that.

Sherlock said...

That's because once it was her name. Then she got married. It would be silly.

Lestrade, why didn't you change from being Lestrade when you got married?

ladyeigh said...

I'm sorry if I confused you Sherlock. I was trying to separate out Lestrade the Police Officer from Greg the man who loves you all. What do you call him? Is he Lestrade to you and Mycroft? How about John?

We often have different names depending on what we are doing and where we are. Only in school do I get called Miss M******. My family use my real name and on the internet I use Kira which is my nickname. So there is Lestrade, Greg and Orio.

I bet John had a nickname when he was in the army. All the militay boys I know do!! If it's not rude he might tell you!

Kira
xoxo

Mycroft said...

Lestrade, why didn't you change from being Lestrade when you got married?

I don't think men do that. Mummy changed her name to Father's, not the other way around.

Sherlock said...

But they were BOTH men. Did they have different names? How did people know they were married? That's stupid.

Mycroft said...

So how would they pick who took whose name? Anyway, Lestrade had a ring, and Bryan must've had one too.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, and now John's got my ring - or did have. He might have binned it.

If you haven't, John, i'll give it back to Bryan and tell him it's the only bloody thing he's getting off me.

No one has to take anyone's name. But traditionally the woman takes the man's. Or you could use both, double barrelled.

Sherlock said...

Then whose name goes first if you both use both of them? Is it alphabetical?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No idea, kiddo. Someone on here probably knows though. Where's Bronwyn recently? Seems like the sort of thing she could help with.

J, got any of the pain killers you were given for your head? Or a very strong coffee? Sorry, i know i'm meant to be caring for you.

John H. D. Watson said...

I do, and you can have one if you'll also go lie down for 15 minutes with an ice pack on the back of your neck. It'll help, trust me. I'll make you coffee after.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Will do, Doc.

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh, and yeah, I do still have the ring. I didn't really know what to do with it. Thought about chucking it in the sea, but that seemed overly dramatic. So it's at the back of my sock drawer.

Sherlock said...

If you've given John a ring, is it like you're married? And why would you give it back to Bryan?

Love and marriage a stuff is SO stupid.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Maybe you should crush it with a hammer, then I'll give it back. Least he cant re use it then.

Sherlock, it's not white like that. Rings are symbols. And it was stupid of me to still wear Bryan's ring. So I gave it to John as a sign that I really didn't like Bryan any more. And I'd give it back to Bryan to sort of reverse what it meant when he gave it to me.

That probably confirms your thoughts that it's all stupid...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Not quite like that, i mean.

Sorry, fuzzy eyes.

ladyeigh said...

Unusual fact for you Sherlock!

In feudal Japan and in Clan time Scotland who took which name depended on which family was the most powerful and where in the family the bride or groom was.

If a man married a woman who was richer or more powerful (in family terms) than he was he took her name!

That is actually why in Scotland the Clan tartan rights mean that you can wear the tartan of the family whose name you have AND the tartan of your mother's birth family! It comes from the fact that the pict and celt tribes were matrilineal. The daughter of a chieftan would marry the best man to succeed her father and he would have the job. If he was bad at it then she could divorce him and either rule herself or find a new husband! It meant that you were not dependant on your son being good at being chief!

There you go...

Kira
xoxo


(is the fact that I love being a teacher showing!!)

Desert Wanderer said...

Lestrade, is it possible you've exhausted yourself into a migraine?

Sherlock, here are pictures of a snake eating another snake (http://www.forwardon.com/view.php?e=Id11f1863f00f18fe5).

Mycroft, how are you doing? How are the dogs handling the moving around and excitement?

John, are you taking good care of yourself?

John H. D. Watson said...

L - Maybe you should smash it with a hammer - cathartic?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

At a guess I'd say it was one (or more) of the following:

Not enough caffeine (i admit i'm horribly addicted) as I dont tend to drink as much at home.

Being an idiot and smoking yesterday, meaning I've got some serious cravings today.

Stress.

Kira - that's very interesting. Sherlock is trying to work out who is the most powerful of John and I now.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Maybe i should, John. Or just sell it, buy everyone ice cream, salvage some happiness that way?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Maybe i should, John. Or just sell it, buy everyone ice cream, salvage some happiness that way?

Bronwyn said...

Geez guys. I spend a few days in a flurry of cleaning and packing in preparation for my move at the end of the month and y'all damned near blow up the planet.

Having spent the past forty-five minutes catching myself up on the blogs, I feel fully prepared to flail incoherently and spew a lot of inelegant phrases on shouldn't say in front of one's mother. Or at least in front of most people's mothers. Mine can unleashed a torrent of invective fit to make a sailor blush with shame.  Glad everyone is . . . Okay . . . Ish.  Lord guys.

As to the names and marriage issue, the actual changing of names dates back to a period of time when women didn't have their own last names.  The were given a first name and then allowed the use of the last name of the dominant male in their life.  Thus, when a girl was unmarried, she used her father's last name (maiden name = name used whilst unmarried).  When she was given to someone in marriage, ownership changed hands and thus husband took on responsibility for her care and feeding.  Thus she was allowed the use of HIS last name.

It has since become convention that women will take their husband's family name upon marriage. Though, custom is declining with some women preferring to retain their own last names even after marriage. There is no historical basis for men marrying much less sharing a married name.  Quite a few couples - of any composition - are choosing hyphenated last names. Often the determining factor in name order is the ease with which the new name can be spoken. Jones-Katzenburg rather than Katzenburg-Jones because the s-k combination is more easily spoken. Among women, the maiden name is often listed first and the husband's name last. More and more often the husband is changing name to match in double-barreled names.  There are even cases in which a new last name entirely is chosen.

Honestly Sherlock, it boils down to a lot of wobbly-wobbly personal preference. The aim is to strike a balance of feeling like one belongs without losing one's sense of individual identity.  For some people, the belonging is satisfied without a name change and for others it feels dreadfully important. For some their last name is a vital part of how they self-identify, and for others, not as much. It just depends on the psychology of the individual.

TTFN,
Bronwyn

Sherlock said...

Kira, we all call him Lestrade. And people at work call him boss or other things. And Nicky calls him Orio and no one calls him Greg or G. Which is silly because it's the name he was given that's his. Not Nicky's too. I might start. It's a better name to shout than Lestrade. You can make it really loud.

GREG GREG GREG GREG GREG.

It sounds funny if you keep saying it.

Sherlock said...

Bronwyn, But you can't OWN people. That's stupid. If that's why people started doing it, I don't think they should do it anymore.

Anyway Greg Lestrade-Watson is too long. And he has all those middle names as well.

Bronwyn said...

Did I over answer sufficiently?
TTFN,
Bronwyn

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sherlock, for the love of... PLEASE be quiet, stop shouting my name and settle down.

Bronwyn, try to get him to ask more questions - typing keeps him still and reasonably quiet.

Bronwyn said...

Well Sherlock, history is full of practices and customs of which we aren't particularly proud. But it's true that in the past people did own each other. In fact, as little as a two hundred years ago, a single woman with no male relatives had no way to earn money and survive. In fact, conquering societies almost always took slaves of some form or another - some called it slavery, some called it indentured servitude, but it almost always happened. And women are still considered property in some societies today. There are cultures that believe that women can't think and are too helpless and stupid to be allowed to make decisions. Not yours or mine, obviously, but it's still true.

Just because people abide by a practice (and some still do) doesn't make it right. It just means that people still have a lot to learn.

TTFN,
Bronwyn

Bronwyn said...

Also, why are you shouting at Greg?
TTFN,
Bronwyn

Sherlock said...

Are you making that up? I don't think that's true, Mummy wouldn't let that happen. Maybe before she was alive but I don't see how it could still happen now.

I was shouting his name because it's good to shout even though it sounds sill after a while.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Just occasionally, there's a quick reminder he's only 5. In this case, him bouncing on the sofa, shouting my name - just because he discovered he could, making the dogs jump for toys.

I can't really be angry, because he's happy. I just wish he could do it quietly.

Bronwyn said...

Sadly, I'm not making that up. In the far past, the Romans took slaves in every area they conquered. Some of them were forced to fight animals or each other in the gladiator arenas. Usually they died. Others worked on farms or vineyards, or as personal slaves in people's houses. In tribal cultures, raiding other tribes for slaves was incredibly common. The U.S. dealt in slaves in the 1800's. The U.K. dealt in indentured servitude for centuries.

But if you want to talk about presently, look up some of the more conservative Middle Eastern cultures. Particularly Iran, right now. There's a practice called purdah in which women aren't allowed to be seen outside their homes by anyone, or inside their homes by anyone but their husbands. If they're caught walking outside without a man, they can be executed or mutilated as punishment. Along with this, is bourkha, which is a long set of robes women in these cultures have to wear that covers their entire body. There's only a small opening for them to see. That way, no one can ever look at them. It's scary.

Also, yelling is fun. Have you ever yelled "joy joy joy"? If you do it fast enough, it sounds like a pogo stick.

TTFN,
Bronwyn

Anon Without A Name said...

Sherlock - have a look at how Icelandic names work: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_name

Different people in the same family have differnt surnames, because they take their fathers' (or sometime mothers') first name as the first part of their surname.

Sherlock said...

John, Lestrade, what would your names be if you were Icelandic?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Eerr... Gregory Francescosson

Which is quite a multi-cultural tongue twister.

annoyedwabbit said...

Someone mentioned Japanese naming customs! :D Now I have to comment.

Fun fact about Heian Japan (which was Japan before there were samurai or anything like that, around 900 CE) there was no legal concept of marriage! People got married, but it was entirely a social thing, and the government didn't get involved. The marriage ceremony (such as it was ) involved the parents leaving three cups of rice wine outside their daughter's room, if they approved of her... visitor. If the daughter and visitor drank the wine, they were married. Heian marriages were usually matrilocal (meaning the husband moved in with the wife's family) but patrilineal (meaning you traced descent through the father's family.) Very frequently the couple didn't even live together.

In other words, marriage is a vast and varied tradition, and what it means is changing all the time.

ladyeigh said...

When I was in the middle east I often covered up my head. Although I didn't have to in towns it was easier because men didn't stare as much. I have never been as aware of being very small and blonde with pale skin! When we went out into the desert it was different. I HAD to cover up - lots of layers so that the only skin you could see was my hands below the wrists and my face, I even covered my ears and my neck.

I'm sure that your mummy can do lots of things Sherlock, just as I am sure that she would love to help everyone have the same rights that we all have here but the world isn't like that, not yet.

A really scary fact is that there are more slaves alive today in the world than were ever transported in the slave triangle trade. Lots of them are children, as young as or even younger than you Sherlock.

Oh yes, and in Russia you have a patronimic name which comes from your dad's first name. A boy adds vitch to it and a girl adds ovna. So If your dad was Alexander then your sons would be Alexevitch and your daughters would be Alexovna!

Aren't names funny... this from a clanswoman!!

Kira
xoxo

John H. D. Watson said...

Sherlock - John Leosson. Sounds a bit odd. Or John Hamish Leosson, if I get a middle name as well.

Sherlock said...

Kira, but maybe she just doesn't know? I'll tell her and she'll do something about it. Lestrade can help because that must be illegal.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Your dad's name is Leo?

Speaking of...it's Father's day on Sunday. Might be a good time to call your folks. But not if you don't want to. Not trying to pressure you into it.

And Sherlock, I can only stop illegal things in this country, and help other countries by talking to their police forces with information we have. But some things which are illegal here aren't in other countries - and some things which are legak heere aren't in other countries.

There are still countries in the world where John and I could be punished for having a relationship, for instance. But because those countries have made a law, we can't do anything direct about it. We have to talk to their governments and try to get them to change their minds. It's not very easy, sometimes, because they don't want to talk about it. Or they're just sure that they're right and we're wrong.

Have you rremembered Mrs Hudson's picking you up from school. This afternoon? Please don't try to show her your videos of things being eaten. She's not keen on spiders and snakes. She said if you're good she might make biscuits with you, though. I'm sure you could make snake-shaped ones.

Just don't try dislocating your jaw and swallowing them whole...

Sherlock said...

Just don't try dislocating your jaw and swallowing them whole...

DO YOU THINK I COULD???

Anonymous said...

In New Zealand, a couple who were getting married couldn't agree on who had to change their surname, so they had a mini-golf competition and the winner got to pick which name they would use. ;)

I would never change my name though. I'm a scientist, so if I changed my name people wouldn't be able to connect me with the papers I've already written. I've actually only ever come across one scientist who changed her name.

John H. D. Watson said...

No, and if you did manage it, you wouldn't be able to taste them and wouldn't that be sad?

L - Leo, yeah. Well, Leonard, but I've never heard anyone call him that.

GIR'S DOOMETTE said...

Celebrities generally keep their names too, because that's how fans know them and that's how they're recognized.
Also, Sherlock, if you want a fun word to say, I quite like SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS and (from Doctor Who) RAXACORICOFALLAPATORIOUS.

Post a Comment