25 June 2011


Trying to cut back on the painkillers very slightly - because the boys don't really like it when I'm a drugged up mess.

The general effect seems to be that I just sleep all day, though. After convincing John that they could leave me and get some fresh air - I wasn't going to keel over during their brief absence. In fact, I don't think I moved - just slept. Tried to watch the bike racing from Assen - MotoGP etc. every time I woke up everything had changed - from positioins to entire races. I didn't have a clue who did what in the end.

Might try and get someone from work to bring some stuff home for me to do. I don't know. I've got some catching up on open cases to do. Have neglected some things since working on this op. And someone has to come and take some nice snaps of me, for the evidence file. I've got a lovely seat-belt shaped bruise across me, some pretty amazing colours where the door caved in and did my ribs (I think that's what happened) and my knee is very slowly deflating - but again, spectacular colours. Still inconclusive on the x-rays, so they're just waiting for the swelling to subside more and then I'll be allowed out of the brace and have to start getting some movement back.

I feel like since I got the bloody bike the world has conspired not to let me ride it. Danger, you and I are going somewhere on it soon. Somewhere far away. A proper ride.

Thanks for all your kind messages - and glad you were all laughing at Sal and I. Although I still maintain it all made perfect sense at the time.

Sal was released a few hours ago. She's very happy, gone to stay with her sister and nephew and niece for a few days. No doubt she'll be bored and visiting here often, so feel free to leave her messages.

The biggest risk to my health currently are the hounds. They just love getting under my feet, bouncing around, trying to climb on me etc. Almost as much as Sherlock does.

John's being amazing - helping me shower (it wasn't much fun), feeding me, taking care of me, plus looking after the boys. Whatever you're paying him, Mrs Holmes, it's not enough.

Oh, just noticed, this is apparently my 100th blog post. We should have some sort of blog-party, right? I'll bring the hallucinogenic drugs. Someone else sort out the hats and the booze.


X said...

Wow, 100 already? That's quite the milestone -- congratulations!

Glad to see you a bit more lucid today, although all the talk of stealth unicorns was hilarious, especially in terms of the dimensions of its horn. :P (there are some truly disturbing pictures from Etsy that I could share on the subject, but I suppose you should recover first...)

Hope that the recovery goes speedily, and that the boys and dogs refrain from pouncing all over you until you're feeling more yourself. :)


Hope you guys get better quickly, and I'm actually a bit sad about the cutting back of the drugs. That stuff was really hilarious. Stealth unicorns. Pfft. You are all just too adorable.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah. And to think I didn't imagine I'd ever have anything to say.

It's a fine line (one I think I'm getting a bit wrong) between lucidity and breathing. Had a lecture From Danger about not being so stubborn. It's bad for your lungs, I'm told, not to breathe properly. And if it hurts...well, obviously you don't breathe properly. I'm bloody glad I've given up smoking since the last time I did this, I tell you. That was stupidly painful.

And oddly, evenings seem to hurt more than days. So I might up my dose again later.

No idea what Etsy is - but knowing the sort of disturbing things which appear on the internet...feel free not to share. (I admit, I was bored earlier, started looking at other blogs. There's an entire one on Phallus. Phalli? Whatever. It's not disturbing just...odd? I don't understand the need to post pictures of yourself in an...excited state for other people to rate! but I did err...browse it. Y'know, out of interest. http://theperfectphallus.blogspot.com/ )

(Don't go browsing if you're underage! Or don't want to see gentlemen's vegetables in all their glory.)

And thanks, I hope so too. It's boring being hurt. Although great watching Danger get all excited at the tennis.

Sherlock said...

If I put my hand on Lestrade's chest I can feel stuff moving in there when he breathes. It's cool.

And unicorns aren't real. You're all silly.

Polaris said...

I'll bring the baked goods! I make awesome brownies.

It's good to see you a little more lucid but I don't like to think you're in more pain because of it.

I think Mrs. Holmes should take the lot of you away on another vacation. You've more than earned it. School's out for the summer soon, isn't it?

Sherlock said...

My school finishes on Friday 22nd of July at 3.30pm. And then there's no school for weeks and weeks. But Mycroft has stupid days at his new school.

We're going camping by the seaside and taking the dogs and tents and everything and we're going to cook on a fire and swim and everything.

I like brownies.

X said...

Lol, Lestrade, just /whaaat/ were you browsing? I hate to say it, but perfectly innocent internet trolling does not land one on a blog full of naught but penises.

Etsy itself, by comparison, is perfectly innocuous: it's a website for people to sell the arts and crafts that they make. Just... one seller has an affinity for painting unicorns in... rather compromising and amorous positions with cupcakes. I don't actually have a link for this, you'll be happy to know.

Sherlock, it sounds like you have a great vacation lined up ahead of you. Do you enjoy swimming? I imagine the dogs do! Hope that you don't have wet dogs invading your tent, haha; they don't smell very good.

Anon Without A Name said...

*adjusts party fedora to a rakish angle*

Not much good for providing party food but I do have vodka. Very cold, very smooth vodka.

Hope you manage to find the right balance for your painkillers. It was hilarious for us last night, but on the other hand I can see how that might have been quite disconcerting for the boys, and I would trust John's medical opinion about the relative importance of breathing.

Glad that Sally's out of hospital too. I'm guessing that she's as in need of a bit of time and rest as you are.

gentlemen's vegetables

And you accuse us of doing ruse things on the Internet! Mind you, some of those, um, examples, are just plain odd. Er, not that I looked. *ahem*

Sherlock - the holiday sounds like it'll be great. Personally I'm not fond of camping myself - I like to snuggle up in a proper bed at the end of the day - but with the four of you and the dogs you'll have lots more opportunity to get up to all sorts of fun stuff if you're camping.

I like brownies too.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Vodka sounds good.

Danger tells me vodka doesn't sound good when I'm on painkillers. SOmetimes having a doctor around is no fun.

I was innocently googling something. Don't remember what. And in my experience, a lot of innocent Googling does in fact bring you sites full of cocks. Unless my idea of 'innocent' isn't the same as everyone else's.

Mycroft has helped me re-do my layout for mobiles. which means re-doing the main layout. I hope everyone likes it. We've only just done it, and already I can't remember what it was like before. I just know it's no longer orange on my mobile.

John H. D. Watson said...

L - If you have any thoughts about contributing to that site...don't. Dinner?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Why, you don't think I measure up??

Ha, no, don't worry, I have NO exhibitionist desires at all. The very thought makes me shudder.

Dinner...christ, it's really late. Did you wait just cos I was asleep? What've we got? And can i have some jiuce?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

OH - You meant you, right? Those photos I took when you were...yeah.

What will you do to persuade me I shouldn't send them in?

John H. D. Watson said...

I did in fact mean you, but that goes double - triple - for any alleged photos you might have of me!

The boys ate, and I sort of ate, but I thought you might be hungry? There's been more sleep than eating today, not that that's necessarily a bad thing.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

what did you sort of eat?

And are there any sort of leftovers?

But you'd be so popular. We could blur out your face...although it would be a crying shame to do so.

John H. D. Watson said...


I sort of ate peas and smashed potatoes, and there are indeed sort of some leftovers. Mrs Hudson made the potatoes, so they're good. I think there's bacon in them.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Sounds good. Just a bit, though. Although I've got to ask...is there anything you don't eat peas with??

Okay, okay, I'll just keep them for my own enjoyment.

You fed Rog?

John H. D. Watson said...

I don't eat peas with chocolate. That would be silly.

Good. Excellent. Then I won't have to exact a terrible revenge.

Yeah, I fed him peas. Unicorns love peas. Keeps their coats all shiny and blue.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Of course.

You won't? Hmm. Maybe I should share them then. How terrible a revenge are we talking?

DO they? You learn something new every day. DId you brsh him, too? I imagine your psarkly jacket would go dead well with him, when you were riding. if it was too cold just for baby oil and camp trousers.

John H. D. Watson said...

A terrible revenge of the sort you would not enjoy at all!

I liked my outfit in the other fantasy better. Scrubs are a lot more comfortable than porn-style camo/camp trousers.

Of course they like peas. Everyone knows that. Peas and jam.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

ok, scrubs and your sparkly denim jackt.

glad you have preferences for my fantasies. it's nice to share.

Blueberry jam? like flamingoes?

Anon Without A Name said...

Those photos I took when you were...yeah.


John H. D. Watson said...

Anon - ...It sounds worse than it actually is.

L - Flamingoes like blueberry jam?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

It sounds worse than it actually is.

In what way does it dound bad??? sounds brilliant.

Danger - no, I meant, flamingos eat pink things for their colour. uness that's wrong. that might be wrong. Stephen Fry might have told us that wasn't true.
andyway, point is, he's blue, he should eat blue stuff. obviously

John H. D. Watson said...

No comment.

Like shrimp and things?

Right, yes. Blue stuff. Makes perfect sense. I'm sure it's blueberry jam then.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, but I think it might al be lies. I can't remember.

Good. What's your favourite jam? you're sort of blond. wats a blond jam?

See it, makes sense, cos i eat marmite. exept now I'm grey, and marmite isn't.

John H. D. Watson said...

I was asleep, so I wouldn't know.

I like raspberry and strawberry. And blackberry. Okay, most jams really.

I don't think there are any grey jams.

Rider said...

You are mostly pink Lestrade, I'm sure you can think of pink things to put in your mouth if you try.

(Although maybe later because if you didn't immediately think of that you must be feeling bad!)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

You were asleep for Stephen Fry?

grey jams doesn't sound nice.

not mainly pink. mainly grey. blue. black. green. depends which bit of me. all sorts of bruisy colours.

When I am pink again I will think of pink things...though, what coes out really shouldn't be pink...think your'e ill if it does.

Danger, did you give manother full dose of pills? thought i was on half dose? I feel...floaty

John H. D. Watson said...

Heh. You sound floaty. Yes I did, don't worry, you can sleep it off.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Did youdo this so I jus wouldn't notice you an Rog flying about toniht?

it's...sort of nicebut scarry

John H. D. Watson said...

There won't be any flying. I'm not going anywhere but to bed, with you. Promise.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

dont do anythingto me when i asleep

John H. D. Watson said...

Never, love. Just rest. Everything's okay.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...


itrust you to keep them away

lve you


Anonymous said...

And in my experience, a lot of innocent Googling does in fact bring you sites full of cocks.

Yes! This! I was once using google to get a pic showing the structure of the insect virus I work on and the first pic was of four naked old guys :/

Anonymous said...

Stephen Fry might have told us that wasn't true.

He did. It's actually blue-green algae that does it. Strange but true.


Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Anon - thank you. Exactly.

Iamshadow - yes, that's it. So if blue-green algae turns Flamingos pink, would blueberry jam turn unicorn's pink? How confusing. Maybe unicorns should eat raspberry jam - for some reason raspberry flavoured sweets are always blue, aren't they?

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