So, I was going to do a post on 'stupid things criminals have said to me', but Sal wanted in on it, so she's going to send me some to include, and anyway, something happened which...prompted me to answer a different one.
Nameless didn't really know what to ask, but part of it was about my little half-brother, Danny.
Danny's s younger than me. He's my half brother. He's got a little brother, Sam. Danny and I don't get on - have never got on, really. His Dad didn't really like me much, and I certainly didn't like him. But Mum married him anyway, told me I'd come round when I got to know him. I didn't. He got worse, not better. So that was the start of Danny and I not getting along.
Then he got older, and Mum got worse, and...well, he didn't like me telling him what to do. So we argued a lot, we occasionally had fights. Probably a bit more than occasionally. It seemed like occasionally at the time, but now I know that most families didn't fight quite as much as we seemed to. Anyway, it didn't ever really get much better. I tried, a bit, but...well, some things seem insurmountable. The differences between Danny and I seem that way.
Today sort of highlighted that. Mum called, asking me if I could help Danny. Because he'd been arrested. So... well, I can't. I mean, there's nothing I can do for him. And I don't even know if I'd want to. Not because we don't get along, but because Danny's a mess, and maybe this will be a wake up call.
I wish it hadn't happened, because I wish his wife and kids hadn't been scared, I wish he hadn't cheated on her, I wish when he had he'd have acted sensibly and worked things out so at least he could see them all, peacefully. Not turn up outside their house and end up with her calling the police on him because he wouldn't stop harassing them and just leave (he didn't hurt them - his wife called Mum and told her what had happened. No one's spoken to Danny). But maybe this will make him realise he's the one with the problem, not them. I don't know. I've spoken to Nicky, and she's gone to see Mum. And there's nothing I can do except wait.
He's an idiot. But we're all idiots sometimes. I hope he learns something from all this.
48 comments:
I'm so sorry, Lestrade. It's never easy when family, even family you don't get on with, does something like that.
For reasons I won't get into, my uncle was placed in jail last year. It was pretty horrible, but I was almost glad. Because my uncle has a lot of problems, and I hope he can get the help he needs.
Just like I hope your brother can get the help he needs. Sometimes people lose their way, and need the wake up call to help them get back on track.
Good luck to you and your family, and I'm glad John is there to hug you as often as you need!
I...don't really know what to say. Really, I don't think there is anything. It sounds like Danny's made a string of bad choices; with any luck this will give him a chance to stop reacting and start thinking--as you said, a wake-up call. You're right, there's really nothing you can do--you'd be able to give him some good advice, but only if he asks for it, because otherwise he won't hear it.
John, Sherlock--please give L some big hugs from me? I think not being able to fix things is especially hard for him.
Piplover - that's it. It's horrible, but in a way I am glad. Which obviously I can't tell Mum. He won't go to jail, not for something like this. But I really hope he'll realise how wrong he's gone and start to get his life back on track.
RR - He won't want to hear anything from me.
I think not being able to fix things is especially hard for him.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now, huh? Because I never do seem to be able to.
That's because for so many things there either IS no way to them or the only one who can fix them is the person who created the problem. So trying to fix everything, by definition, means a lot more failure than success.
But it doesn't mean people should stop trying. And I love that you're a person who doesn't stop trying.
Only a good man would be so conflicted about this situation. A callous person would just say "good riddance" and not give it a second thought, and an unethical person would be trying to pull every string they could. You are obviously neither callous nor unethical, which causes problems for you. I'm sorry it's not easy, but the best roads sometimes are the hardest.
And think of the example you're showing Mycroft and Sherlock--that there's room for compassion and justice in the same heart.
I also don't believe you don't solve problems. You just don't realize you are. Let yourself spend the weekend cuddling with your family. It can only make you feel better. <3
It is times like this I'm very glad to have John and the boys around me. Stop me wallowing in my own thoughts.
Thanks, all of you. Knew you'd help.
I hope you're not blaming yourself. After a certain point there's not a lot you can do for people unless they'll cooperate with you. I hope this helps him reconsider some things.
Meanwhile all I can offer is more hugs.
You know...I don't think I am, for once. I don't know. After this week I just feel like crashing on the sofa and not moving for a long time. Preferably wrapped up in you.
You're brilliant. Thank you. And tomorrow we'll go and watch the fireworks on the river and have a bloody brilliant time.
Sounds pretty good to me too.
Damn right we will.
And soon we will have to actually decide which date it is we're going to celebrate on. Before November's gone and we have to have an anniversary of me sleeping on your sofa.
The nineteenth is the day we met... First date must have been in December sometime.
you do realise that means that in just under a month we went from you being a murder suspect to me drooling on your soft furnishings.
We must have liked each other or something. :)
Yeah, must have. Goal oriented, that's us.
There's a question.
How exactly did you come to be sleeping on the Good Doctor's sofa?
And is that all it takes to find one like you, Doc? 'cause I, for one, am more than willing to sleep on someone's sofa for such a result.
I know that today's events acted as the catalyst, but thanks for answering my rambling not-quite-a-question ( pretty much assumed it was one of the ones that you'd rather not talk about).
Everyone else has already said pretty much what I wanted to say; in particular, DW has channelled my thoughts, only much more eloquently. I'm very glad that you're not feeling guilty, even if you are feeling a bit conflicted.
One of my friends once accused me of treating him like a problem that needed fixing. I'm still not quite sure why he wasn't happy with that :-p More seriously, one of the joys and tragedies of being an adult is that you get to fuck up and no-one gets to stop you apart from yourself.
drooling on your soft furnishings.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Well, what with Christmas coming and everything we couldn't faff about forever, huh?
DW - That really was all Sherlock's fault. Well, and John's. Sherlock got himself nicked for shoplifting from Harrods, John took me for a walk in an enchanted forest, the three of them were going to starve if I didn't stay longer than I had intended, and Sherlock decided sleeping was preferable to the Jungle Book.
And then John caused me to fall asleep on his sofa.
Simple, really.
I feel like I'm cross examining a witness.
How did you cause you to fall asleep on his sofa? A bout of physical exertion? A little release of tension? Knocked you over the head with a frying pan? Spiked your coffee?
No comment?
lol
Fair enough. Sorry for pushing.
No frying pans were harmed.
No coffee was tainted, either.
if coffee and fryingpans are out, looks like exertion and release of tension are it.
Does my look of surprise fool anyone?
I'd had a hard day at work tracking down jumper-thieves!
As for why John fell asleep on top of me...I really couldn't say.
;)
*huge grin*
That is all.
Obviously I was worn out after searching for Sherlock.
Ah, of course.
So there you go.
A bout of physical exertion? A little release of tension?
Yes, work, tracking down Sherlock. And then we were both very...relieved to have found Sherlock.
We had also bought a Christmas tree, erected it and arranged our baubles in a pleasing manner.
You have to be careful with baubles. If you don't handle them properly, you'll regret it. Captcha agrees and warns against "disabl"ing them.
We would never knowingly disable our baubles. Or handle them incorrectly.
On a completely unrelated matter - did you all see the hilarious list of things found in a Mexican prison during a surprise inspection?
19 women - suspected to be prostitutes, 6 female prisoners, 100 flat screen TVs, DVD players, two sack of cannabis, fighting roosters, two peacocks, lots of booze and some knives...
Sometimes I think I'd rather be in there than in the Yard!
I can imagine that after a spot of erecting (did you use a spirit level to get it straight?) and fiddling with baubles you might need a nice little lie down, and maybe a nap.
Peascocks? Peacocks?
Nameless - Mycroft was incredibly perturbed that it wasn't, in fact, completely straight. But it was late, and they needed to go to bed.
And yes, Peacocks.
Did you just un-inuendo a conversation?!
Doc, better check for fever. You know the prescribed methods...
I never innuendo conversations! You lot just have dirty minds when reading my innocent posts.
Happily Mycroft wasn't perturbed by other things not being entirely straight.
Doc, the thermometer does not need to go there...
But why peacocks?
It just said they were pets...
I can organise to get you extradited to that prison, maybe, if you want to go and ask them? Could take a while to get you back though - they also found a prisoner who had been there for 22 years...who had only bee sentenced for 5.
For cattle rustling or beating rugs at an ungodly hour of the morning?
Probably for not completing your two hours of longbow practice under the supervision of the local clergy. But I haven't decided yet.
And, despite you being a criminal, I think I need to take you to bed. I feel like this week has steamrollered me.
Fortunately I can't think of anything I'd like better right now than to go to bed with you.
You might have to drag me off the sofa first. throw me over your shoulder, brush my teeth for me and tuck me into bed...
I can manage most of that, but you're brushing your own teeth I'm afraid.
You don't actually have to throw me over your shoulder.
Just get me on my feet.
No no no, you asked! And I owe you from when you informed the internet you'd carried me off to bed like a five year old...
you'll hurt yourself! Don't be silly.
We'll see, won't we.
There is nowhere in the world I feel safer or happier than in your arms. Just so you know.
Did you know I'd wake up in the middle of the night and need to read that? Because I really did. Thank you. Just... Yeah. I love you.
I just finished grading, quite literally, 873 papers since I finished work today. And I'm flaming exhausted. And you two are very cute. Just FYI. And now I must sleep because tomorrow I have to be up early enough to purchase more flour before my students arrive at 10:30 to produce not 10, not 20 but 500 rainbow striped pound cake cupcakes.
I need a life that doesn't involve my students. I really do.
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
Bronwyn! I was just wondering where you were. Even just reading that is exhausting. I can only imagine how shattered you must be.
John, you didn't hurt yourself carrying our favorite DI, did you? I wouldn't expect so, but just checking.
I guessed you'd wake in the night. And I really wanted you to know.
I love you too.
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