Today I shall be mostly tired.
John and I stayed up far too late. Well, we went to bed, but then we talked for a long time - because there's a lot to talk about, most of which isn't suitable for the boys to hear (and not even the interesting sort of things they shouldn't hear, but the boring side of it).
Anyway, it's good to talk, so they say. Better to talk whilst all wrapped up in a hug. And my mood did indeed improve. Sorry for being on a downer yesterday. Everything got a bit on top of me.
Bryan took those pictures John put up. He was (is?) an artist/photographer/layabout/waste of space. Not in that order.
Don't think John or I are really natural talkers about our feelings, but we're trying. And mainly sort of succeeding. He's a very good listener. And gives good practical advice. Or just agrees that some situations are just crap, no advice needed.
Anyway, that meant we probably didn't sleep until the early hours - and then this morning Sherlock came into our room at about 5 and literally didn't stop talking before I left for work. I only got away from him to have a shower because Danger distracted him with some toast! And by the time I was shaving he was back, sitting on the toilet cistern and telling me about his science classes, and liquid nitrogen. I told him there was a place in Camden where you coukd go and they'd make liquid nitrogen ice cream right there in front of you, for you to eat. By the time he got into the kitchen to tell John nabout this it had transformed from me telling him about it to me promising to take us all there, apparently.
One of the very good things about the science classes (apart from him loving them) is that it gives Mycroft a bit of time alone with John too, so yesterday they went looking at bikes together, and did some studying in the park in the sunshine, which has to be healthier than being locked in his bedroom.
24 comments:
I send you a virtual hug and strength, because sometimes you simply don't want to listen to advice anymore.
And I think you just talked about ice cream... ice cream... I want some. Won't be able to leave work until don'twanttothinkabout. I want ice cream in the sunshine, too.
Don't mind me, I'm a bit stupid today.
Yeah, Paula, ice cream does sound good. And you have my sympathies, in the last 2 days I've spent less time at home than I have at work, which is clearly wrong.
Having said that...Danger, I need to go back to mine tonight and pick up another suit. Got a bloody press conference in the morning. I might come over and get you, so we can go to mine together - if someone doesn't mind watching the boys for a little while.
Or I might grow some bollocks and go on my own. Don't know.
Virtual hugs from me as well.
Sounds like Sherlock's science lessons are a win all around, and glad to hear that Mycroft is getting one-on-one time.
And ice cream is always a Yes!
L - I'd be happy to go with you, and I'm really pleased you asked, thanks.
It's not a matter of bollocks. Two is the standard number for the human male, you don't need any extras. And in any case, I suspect it took more to ask me than it would've done to go on your own.
5 AM? Holy crap. That child never sleeps, does he? Mine is down by 8:30 and up at 6:30, and I still think that's too early, especially on the weekend. And I want to go to that liquid nitrogen ice cream place, too! Reminds me of Space Dots - little tiny pellets of flash-frozen ice cream served in cups. Little strange, but the cool factor outweighs the rather bland taste.
And re: your comment above. It's not a weakness to need someone. Taking backup is never a bad idea.
BTDT, with a guy I'd been with since I was 17 - he'd never laid a finger on me before, but after we broke up...well. Thought it'd be ok walk back through campus on my own from my new BF's (now husband) dorm late one night. Shrugged off his offers to go with me. Had that strong, independant woman thing stuck in my head.
Guess who I met halfway there? Yeah. Didn't turn out well. Wish I'd brought N for the trip.
Can see why the pictures would throw off your day. That kind of sucks because they're nice pictures otherwise. I hate to see that he still has the power to wreck your mood, but maybe you're on the path to that diminishing with time now.
I'm surprised that it didn't get drummed into your head in cop school that it's smart not weak to bring backup if you think you might be walking into a dangerous situation.
Playing telephone with a kid is most fun when you don't realize you're playing. At least a trip to an ice cream place isn't a huge hardship.
And I'm glad things are moving upward, even if there's still rough spots. Here's to further positives on the horizon.
John - thanks. I am trying with the whole 'being a grown up and not hiding things' idea. But I'm never not going to feel like a wimp for being afraid of my own bloody flat.
I'll call you when I'm going to leave so you can get your kit on.
Given what happened last time, you'd have to be mental not to be worried. I'm worried too, which is why I'm so relieved you're letting me come along.
I am trying with the whole 'being a grown up and not hiding things' idea.
I know, and I know it's a lot harder that coping with things the way you always have, and I'm grateful you're trying. And you're setting a good example for the boys. And probably for me as well, if I'm honest.
And we all know John could use a good example. O:-)
It makes a big (and terrifying) difference to have someone who cares enough not to take 'fine' as my first and final answer.
It was easy when that's what I wanted to say and he wanted to hear.
But yeah, large factor in this is my worry the boys - Mycroft far more than Sherlock - wouldn't tell us if something was bothering them, just because we're setting bad examples.
It's nice to see the boys inspiring you to try to break a lifetime of habit. Even less perceptive kids than these will watch as much or more than listen. So it's no good saying talk to John if something is upsetting you if you never do. (And the same with John talking to you.)
I think it's especially important because you're not used to reliably having someone like John that you can talk to. Mycroft is probably a lot like you in that. He's had a shorter lifetime, but long enough to develop a habit of relying only on himself. In a way it's probably good that he can rely on himself if he needs to, but right now he doesn't need to. To watch you find the balance between keeping yourself strong and relying on the people who are there for you will help him find his way to allowing himself to rely on people as well.
Leaving now, Danger. Get your gear on.
Yes, sir, ready and waiting.
Not sure there's a way for me to say this without sounding patronising, so I'll just go for it and hope you believe that it's said in good faith: I am hugely impressed at how much more open you're being with John, how you're more accepting of his support - and how much you're trying to set a good example to the boys. Making that sort of effort is so difficult at the best of times, and these are clearly not the best of times.
I hope the trip back to the flat was uneventful.
And I really am trying not to read your comments to John about needing to get his kit on as an indication that he's been lolling around the place naked all day :-p
Nameless, yes, entirely uneventful. Thank you.
And I am really trying - but honestly it's John just...being John that means I can do it. And me constantly trying to remind myself I don't need to protect him, I need to be honest with him.
I refuse to comment on his usual state of dress...
Kholly - if these boys and John couldn't inspire me I would indeed think I was a lost cause. And Mycroft is a lot like me. Except far more intelligent and good looking.
I have not been naked all day! Maybe in my pyjamas a bit longer than usual.
And given that he's naked all night, pyjamas are positively overdressed, for him.
I shall remedy that shortly.
Kholly - some days I feel like i'll never get past this stage. Others I feel I'm virtually over it already.
He was a good photographer. I met him at a gig. Friends of mine were playing, he was taking shots for their album. He was just far more interested in the parties than the work.
And the particular time those pictures came from just...wasn't the best.
Not been naked all day? If not why not?
(See Lestrade, this is what happens when you go to work instead of staying home and seeing to your duty there...)
It's between me and Danger exactly what gets a good seeing to around here.
Although now I know the sort of stuff half of you are reading, I'm beginning to wonder if Danger shouldn't branch off and write an 'adults only' blog too. Reckon he'd be pretty good at it. (of course we'd never tell you what was real and what was pure fantasy).
Oh please please please do consider an adults only blog, Danger. It could be the new home of your romance novel in progress. :D
Though, Lestrade, from the posts and comments thus far I'd say you're as much as if not more guilty than John of appealing to our slash-reading impulses... Maybe you should start a secondary blog as well?
No way. I think if I blogged about what we got up to, Danger would kill me. And if I blogged about other things I've experienced...Danger would kill me.
It would be a hideously short snuff blog.
I think if I blogged about what we got up to, Danger would kill me.
Correct. I'm fine with hearing about your past exploits though, if you really want to share them.
You can't hear about them. I can, however, demonstrate a select few.
But only to you.
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