Danger. It has been brought to my attention (and thank God I got very scant mention in your blog, way back then, or I would have struggled with the exact date.), that we have known each other (and dare I say dating, although I'm not entirely sure that armed criminals, swamps, helicopters and the arrival of the special forces entirely equals a date?) for six whole months, some point next week.
So I would like to formally ask you out on a date on Tuesday (which is possibly not the correct date, but I'm working nights after that...and Mrs Hudson has agreed to child-wrangle for the evening, so I'm grabbing the chance with both hands.)
Bottom line - you, me, Tuesday, no kids, hot date, six-month-iversary.
What says you, DoctorSuperNanny Danger Watson?
101 comments:
I dunno, if you can't promise special forces invlement or at least car chases... yes of course. I would love to, and my god that happened fast, didn't it? It seems like hardly any time at all.
I could arrange a car chase. Although London car chases are more a game of cat-and-mouse through gridlocked traffic. As for special forces - I think Mrs Hudson qualifies. She must be something of the sort, for volunteering to look after the boys. (I said for the evening. She gave me the most outrageous wink and patted me on the arm and said they wouldn't wait up for us...)
It...feels like it only happened the other week, but at the same time, I can't really believe there was ever a time without the three of you in my life.
If that makes any sort of sense.
It makes perfect sense to me. Though I sometimes feel I must be dreaming it all and I'll wake up confused and possibly back in the desert at some point.
Oh, congratulations, by the way. This makes you my longest relationship to date.
Christ...where would I wake up? Face down on my desk at the Yard, I imagine. Possibly with my head in a pizza box.
And then I'd rapidly be sectioned for insisting I'd spent the last 6 months with two child geniuses and a DoctorArmySupernanny.
Does it? Wow.
Well...thanks for putting up with me. I don't know what to say. I'm rather shocked, if I'm honest. Although I don't suppose the army made it easy to maintain long term relationships.
It didn't, no, but I think it was mostly me. Plenty of people I knew managed to get themselves married between tours. I generally only managed to get dumped.
Sorry, that sounded a bit depressive. I found it amusing at the time. Anyway, glad you've stuck with me so far.
Hmm. Well, if I'd met you when they were still sending you to war zones where people were trying to kill you, you'd have come home to find me a mental wreck with all the worry.
Which is clearly a ridiculous thing for me to say, seeing as we met in a sleepy Devon country manor where someone was trying to kill both of us.
And obviously I can't say that I'm sad you didn't settle down with some nice girl (boy? Do the army let you settle down on barracks with nice boys?), because clearly the homicidal maniac would never have brought us together then.
Awww congratulations, guys! I hope you have a lovely time celebrating and, once again, kudos to Mrs. Hudson. :3
I'm seeing a trend with the people trying to kill us bit.
Heh. Maybe I should've just been dating men all along.
Thanks Lupe. And secretly, I think Mrs H loves anything to do with a bit of romance. She could probably get a job on one of those horrendous matchmaking type TV programmes. She did offer to do the school run, too, if we were too 'worn out'.
I shall have to check Anthea isn't missing any bugs, actually.
Danger: Heh. Maybe I should've just been dating men all along.
Err, no. Just me, right now, is fine, I think.
Awww. Enjoy your date. *virtual hugs and cake for everybody*
Well, if you insist.
That you answering Paula, or me?
If me: Yep. Wouldn't want you to have anything much to compare me to. You might realise what I'm lacking.
If Paula: I'll have cake and hugs too then, thanks.
I don't think that your Danger pays any attention to me, because you are around. ;)
Paula, I can assure you there are times when I have to drag him away from his blog. It's almost enough to make me stamp my feet like Sherlock...
(He will immediately level this accusation straight back at me, just you watch...)
Meant it to be you, but I certainly won't object to hugs and cake. And you're not lacking anything, don't be silly. No more than I am certainly.
All you're currently lacking is a wardrobe full of biking gear, as far as I'm concerned.
Any thoughts on preferences for helmets (full face/flip up), gloves, trousers or boots? Seen anything you like? (I guess you still quite like the jacket we talked about - although we can look at similar ones in the shop.)
Those trousers you showed me before were pretty good. Not too ridiculous looking. And yeah I definitely still like the jacket.what helmet do you have? The full face one right?
I'll get a new one, if I'm going to ride every day again. The one I took along for the test ride is my old spare. Mine got written off by the last crash, and as the bike never got replaced, neither did the helmet. Probably all new technology I've never heard of now, anyway.
But yes, definitely full face. My head gets enough of a battering on the job, without offering it to the London traffic to have a go at, too.
I suppose I'll have that as well then. Or I could just use your spare?
No you bloody can't use the spare, you get your own, that fits you perfectly, and that you like.
Your head is far too important to me. All of you is. You don't get any sub-standard gear.
Yes, dear. All right, I'll try things on. The boots will be good. My one pair of shoes that aren't trainers are getting a little worn out.
Sorry. I'm almost as passionate about safety gear as I am about what it'll be protecting.
After all, I wouldn't be here to enjoy seeing you in leather if it hadn't been for all my protection when I hit the road. Or the car. Or the bus.
Yeah I think about that sometimes, believe me.
Mmm.
Don't.
It won't help at all to tell you I've come far closer to death in a car, would it? (I wasn't driving, I must add.)
No, but it doesn't make out worse either. Life is risky, that's all. What happened?
...make it, not make out.
Nightshift, when I was a PC. I was in the area car, and we took it in turns to drive. Bloke called Mark was behind the wheel. Got a call, someone making off from the scene of an accident, probably drunk, so we headed off, blues and twos on. It was fairly quiet, about 3am, so Mark had his foot down. We found the car, he sped up, we sped up, everything going well, and then some guy - off his face - staggered out into the road in front of us. Mark worked on instinct, swerved and binned our car into a lamp post, through a wall, into a factory yard. About 90mph-zero, and a flip and a half within about five seconds.
The photos for the report scared me.
'make out'. Hmm. Freudian slip, Doc?
On the "feels like yesterday"/"feels like always" front, my husband (of 23 years) and I both agree we feel the same way. I'd say that that bodes very well for the two of you.
Congrats on the first six months! It certainly hasn't been boring!
Well, that sounds terrifying, and I'm glad I haven't seen the photos. How badly were you hurt? And is this the complete catalogue of life threatening injuries now?
Freudian slip, Doc?
Maybe.
It was weird seeing the pictures. Like it had all happened to someone else. I don't think I knew much about anything after the lamp post, definitely not enough to be terrified. I imagine the pictures all got binned once they agreed it wasn't Mark's fault.
It's where the scar on the left side of my head came from. Although you can't really see it unless my hair is very short. All bruised up from the seatbelt, cracked ribs, some sort of internal injuries from the same - not serious though, they just kept an eye on me. A whole lot of glass everywhere - where some of the scars up on my left arm come from. Although you can't really see them much now. Little fracture on my shin, broke my kneecap hitting the dashboard. Generally just a bit of a mess, really.
Depends what you call 'life threatening'. I think once they dragged me out of that everyone was fairly sure I'd be okay when I woke up. And it meant I was on light duties when I got back, which meant I got up to CID a bit and met the DI who encouraged me to apply. So it wasn't all bad.
I'm beginning to think London may be more dangerous than Afghanistan. And I meant further life threatening incidents, I suppose - as in, other than the bike crash and the car crash. But perhaps doling them out one at a time is the way to go. I worry enough as it is.
Where are we going for this date anyway?
Let's see, according to the blog, there's been: killer dogs, psychotic staff, a bog, secret agents, a serial killer who leaves body parts, MI5 (6, 913? how high do those numbers go?), gang violence, shoot outs, bike accidents, car accidents, attempted shootings, attempted stabbings, black eyes, broken noses, explosions of various colors of smoke, bruised shins, body guards, no-longer-killer-dogs and a round of flu that if weaponized could level most of a continent. Did I leave anything out?
Would you two even know what to do on a normal, staid, quiet date? Or would you both perish of boredom?
Later gator,
Bronwyn
More dangerous...says the man who got shot. Yeah.
Where do you want to go? Fine dining? Theatre? Cinema? Activity (not that one. Well, that one, but not until later. No, what am I saying...hell, we can just get take away and go back to my flat, if you want!)
I don't know, up to you.
Bronwyn - Just MI5 (domestic intelligence and security UK) and MI6 (foreign intelligence and security) nowadays, that your average pleb like me knows about. Apparently there used to be other MI numbers, randomly from 1-19 (not every number was used), but because it's all a bit secret, it's hard to know for sure. Everything changed after the war.
And some of the things you mention are just work. In which case you probably shouldn't count them. But if you do count them, you've missed a lot out! And the body parts are (currently) all from one body. We just haven't found them all yet.
And the fact that you referred to a fair chunk of that as "just work" kind of proves my point, don't you think? *laughs*
Later gator,
Bronwyn
the man who got shot
Only twice! Well, sort of three times, but the other one didn't really count. Uhhh. I don't know, what do you want to do? Dinner, definitely. Apart from that, I'm not sure. At this point the concept of an entire evening to do anything we want seems almost unreal.
Bronwyn - I should say I don't know for certain she's Mi-5 or 6 or some shadowy government agency normal people don't know about. I've never asked, due to a suspicion that if I knew she actually would have to kill me. Or get Anthea to do it.
but the other one didn't really count
Of course. Why would it? "What did you do today?" "Oh, nothing, just got a bit shot."
Yeah.
See, I've never been shot. (Well, okay, once, but that really didn't count.)
What do i want to do. Well, I could tell you here, and watch as the entire internet blushes. Or I could link you to a few sites which can give you a fairly graphic idea...
Or I could just say dinner sounds lovely, and er... we could always go back to mine for...dessert. And then get a cab back here. Or something.
It was only a graze! It didn't even need stitches.
Well, okay, once, but that really didn't count.
Are you just winding me up, or did you actually get shot? And if so, what do you bloody mean it didn't count! (And yes, I do see the point you've made there, but STILL.)
Dessert sounds like a very good idea. You're very good at dessert.
I told you! Or it was discussed, anyway. On here. Or on your blog, I don't remember.
Danny caught me with a shotgun blast, when we were kids. And it really didn't count, didn't even get medical attention - just Nicky patching me up and telling us all off, in between trying not to cry. It was just the edge of the spread - I don't know, probably fewer than ten bits of shot. Definitely fewer than twenty, mainly in my arm. More a stinging feeling than anything else. Well, at first, anyway. Nicky probably did more damage digging the bits that got stuck out.
When do I ever wind you up, Danger McPhee? And I didn't think grazes were real outside films. It must have bruised pretty spectacularly, all that velocity and everything.
I will make arrangements for the best sort of dessert. The sort which is calorie burning.
Oh! Right. You did tell me that, and I think I had filed it away as "doesn't count as actual gunshot wound" even thought it really was. Anyhow, I'm glad you didn't get a lot shot.
If you want to be accurate, it sort of took a small wedge out of my calf that I didn't notice until later. Looking back on that sentence I feel I should emphasize "small" as wedge doesn't really sound good.
Also chocolate. For a...pre-dessert dessert.
As I said, didn't count. Glad we're in agreement.
I shall have to examine you for damage, to see whether I believe 'small'.
Chocolate, for pre-dessert dessert. Noted.
And now I think we should go to bed, wherein I shall practice my err...recipe for dessert.
I think I speak for the whole Internet when I say that we wouldn't mind details of your... dessert. We're not so easily induced to blushing. :D
No? Ah well, it was worth a shot. Have a great six month-iversary, and congratulations to you both!
We're not so easily induced to blushing.
You've just proved that Danger is, though. Even his ears have gone red!
Sadly, I shall have to decline the chance to tell you all about it, owing to the occasional underage audience that frequent this publication. So sorry.
I thought you were coming to bed!
I am!
Need to take advantage of having the use of all my limbs, before Mycroft's ice-skating trip tomorrow leaves me completely wrecked.
Oh my god, you guys, please never stop being this adorable. I hope you have a nice time on your date!
I'm sure all concerned wouldn't mind if you stopped being such disaster magnets, though. Even if it does make for exciting reading. It's not as if the boys don't provide endless amounts of excitement just by being themselves. (Obviously it's not actually something anyone can do anything about, it's just that we worry. Is that weird, coming from someone on the internet? Sorry.)
>Well, I could tell you here, and watch as the entire internet blushes.
You obviously don't know how many of us have over a dozen other tabs open, all to some degree of pornography.
I'm sure all concerned wouldn't mind if you stopped being such disaster magnets, though.
Right. Will try. But not for the next few hours. The smile on Mycroft's face is alarming - we're about to leave for ice skating. I've told him that if I break anything 5 days before my new bike comes I'll hold him entirely responsible. He just grinned. Then made a comment about the elderly having brittle bones.
Iamshadow - um....no, I can honestly say I don't. But you've made Danger blush again and nearly choke on his tea, when I read that out to him.
I do hope that 'all' means 'all apart from this one'?
I hope that Mycroft enjoys the ice skating as much as the anticipation, and that no bones are broken.
For a soldier he blushes terribly easily. Surely such a glowing countenance was bad for camouflage.
You're saying that comment threads about John and yourself in leather isn't a subtle pornography?
That's true...maybe they painted out his face so there was just a cross left and used him like a medical beacon?
I have no comment. On the grounds I may incriminate myself.
> maybe they painted out his face so there was just a cross left
Or a bat?
> I have no comment. On the grounds I may incriminate myself.
Oh, sweetheart. Being eye candy isn't a crime.
John already gives me 'the Supernanny look' when he thinks I'm pushing the boundaries of good taste on here, because the boys are known to read it.
So I'm fairly sure that if I told him were now, apparently 'subtle pornography' I think I'd be put on the naughty step. (And apparently you have to stay there a minute for each year of your life. I haven't got that much time to spare!! - these are things you find out when you're trying to cope with a naughty 5 yr old.)
I can't argue with the fact Danger is eye candy though. I wasn't the only one looking when he was modelling different armoured jeans in the shop earlier...
Yes, you do seem to have become a bit more restrained (oo-er, missus) in the things you write here over time...
And we've all seen the photos, don't pretend that you're not eye candy too (and yes, I am including the most up to date photo).
I'm the very model of restraint. (Danger read that over my shoulder and snorted rather loudly).
I'd argue, but I always lose. So I will just doff my cap to you in a gentlemanly fashion and thank you. Although I really don't see it myself.
I was not blushing that much! There was no medical beacon or bat signal, for heavens sake. I'm just suddenly surrounded by people who are somehow significantly filthier than most of the blokes I knew in the army. It's amazing.
Or now that I think about it, perhaps it's just that in the army no one was at all interested in my personal sex life, apart from me and a very few others.
But L's still exaggerating.
Surrounded by people? Hmm.
Me, exaggerate? Never in a million years...
...Surrounded on the internet by people. Okay, that doesn't really work.
I agree they're a filthy bunch though.
And they all found your blog. Huh.
I have no idea what you might be suggesting.
We actually have a very well organized grapevine.
Later gator,
Bronwyn
Just suggesting it must be to do with you, not me.
You didn't delete any posts, did you? Of your secret past as an underwear model, or something?
No one except you would want to see me model underwear. And I have been writing about you almost from the beginning. It could definitely be you.
Yes, you were positively gushing about me...
Day 3: Helped DI Lestrade solve a serial killing case and rescue Mycroft from the killer.
And then, a month later, I'm asleep on your sofa...
(Mind you, if I'd had a blog when we met I suppose it would have gone something along the lines of: "Caught a serial killer, got to ride in a helicopter, thwarted a dastardly plan involving killer hounds and remote country mansions. Am now lying in bed thinking about a rather delicious doctor, who is lying in an entirely separate bed down the hall...")
All right, all right, but that doesn't count - no one was actually commenting (or probably reading) back then. I'm sure the first entries that have comments are all about you.
Am now lying in bed thinking about a rather delicious doctor, who is lying in an entirely separate bed down the hall...
I think we were both too tired to blog that night anyway.
No one except you would want to see me model underwear.
Wow, John - when you're wrong, you're SPECTACULARLY wrong.
Ha. All right, slight correction - no one but L is going to see me model underwear. Better?
I was going to say that, Innie, but he doesn't listen to me.
And possibly, Danger. It was fairly knackering. Not so much that my mind wasn't running riot, though...
You're going to model some underwear for me? And you tell me this while I'm stuck here, in a dank room, miles away from you?
There's got to be some rule about doctors not torturing people, right?
Better for whom, exactly?
No, I'm pleased that we at least get a peek of the two of you being adorable badasses in love, even if there are no other peeks forthcoming.
Have fun on your big date!
Can we offer lingerie suggestions? Or is that a bit forward?
Later gator,
Bronwyn
lingerie??
I've got to tell you, cross dressing really, really doesn't do anything for me.
A nice pair of Aussiebums, on the other hand, I could entirely get behind.
What on Earth is an Aussiebum? Besides the obvious.
I can't believe I'm sitting next to some nervous DC Googling underwear on my 'phone.
http://www.aussiebum.com/en/underwear/
It's nothing dodgy - they're just nice boxers/briefs. Comfortable. And you could model them for me any day of the week.
I can't believe you are either. No, wait, I absolutely can. S/he probably thinks you're doing serious case-related research too, heh.
Huh. All right, if you like. Nothing hot pink or with super heroes on, though.
He. And possibly.
Damn, hot pink with superheroes were my favourites.
This is so boring. Not talking about you and underwear - that's the highlight. Being here. It's cold, smells of damp and I'm stuck here for the next...8 or 9 hours. Thinking about you in boxers.
god help me.
You could try talking to the poor lad you're stuck there with. Give him the benefit of your wisdom and so on. He's got to be as bored as you and nervous besides. It's probably less frustrating than shopping for underwear on your phone, that's all I'm saying.
Wow. Some of those briefs are... brief.
Now Lestrade, I made no mention of cross-dressing. Though if you're into that, I cast no aspersions. There are, however, some amazingly nice underwear out there for men, which certainly qualify as "not everyday wear".
As for the poor lad with you, the best advice you can offer is "get a smart phone and entertain yourself".
Later gator,
Bronwyn
We are talking! I'm not just ignoring him. Although I'm not sure what wisdom I have that will benefit him. We know a few of the same people, though.
And I'm not shopping. Although perhaps I should be? Hmm.
Nameless - the photos when you click through (epecially on the wonderjocks) are....errr...eye-opening? It's enough to make Danger blush. hah.
Sorry, Bronwyn - Lingerie to me is an entirely female thing. If you just meant underwear in general, then why not suggest things - everyone else is getting involved!
And we can't both entertain ourselves. One of us actually has to do some surveillance.
L - I think the "Hipster Bolt" pair on the page you linked are very Danger. Agree?
Oh god. I might just go to sleep now and leave you all to talk about my underwear in peace.
Innie - as worrying as it is that other people seem to know what would suit him...yes. Although I prefer the solid colours...some others in the 'lightening' range. 'Force' and 'Thunder' are both quite nice.
Anyway, as I said over the road on his blog, I've got to actually surveil something. So I'll bid you all good night. And probably return, sleep deprived and confused tomorrow morning.
Danger, my arse did not need to come in contact with the ice as hard as it did today, only to sit here on a hard chair all night.
Aw, John, you have plenty to contribute to the conversation! Unless by your silence you're implying that Lestrade doesn't wear any . . .
You should go to sleep, yes. Enjoy the nice, soft warm bed that I'm missing.
And there's no need to contribute to the conversation, at all.
Innie - it's more that I prefer him not to wear any.
...All right I really am going to sleep now.
I'm glad I'm wearing them now. Derelict buildings are a bit...spooky, at night.
Please explain the relationship between spookiness and underwear.
Perhaps to conceal that oh-so-involuntary fear reaction that spooky-dos usually entail?
It's like the old joke:
There was once a sea captain who was known to have the fiercest, most ruthless crew on the seven seas - undefeated in battle. Each time they went into battle he would call to his cabin boy "Bring me my red coat."
One day, the cabin boy said "Sir, do you wear red to stir the bloodlust in the crew?" The captain replied "No lad. I wear red so that if I am ever injured in battle, the coat will hide the blood and the men will fight on."
Thus they went one. The lookout would cry "One ship off the port!" or "Two ships off the starboard!" or even "Four ships dead ahead!" and the captain would cry "Bring me my red coat!"
Until one day, the lookout cried "Captain, sir! The entire Spanish Armada is behind us and gaining fast!" The captain stood silent, so the cabin boy asked "Sir, shall I bring your red coat?" The captain shook his head and replied "No lad. But I'll be needing my brown pants."
TTFN,
Bronwyn
Yeah, that's it Bronwyn.
I bravely volunteered to be the one to walk around the place when it really did sound like there was someone else in here with us. All three times. Not that we're paranoid.
But now it's light, and the next team will take over soon. And i'll get back to the office. Great!
> I'm just suddenly surrounded by people who are somehow significantly filthier than most of the blokes I knew in the army. It's amazing.
Welcome to the internet!
Did you hang around with the chaplains or something, Danger?
How many chocolate covered coffee beans do you think it's safe to eat? I've been eating them all night...i'm still knackered. Grabbed a few mins kip here and there during the night and this morning at my desk...
Bronwyn - I did consider that, just didn't think underwear would be all that helpful in that situation.
L - Did you hang around with the chaplains or something, Danger?
I'm ignoring you now.
I don't know how many chocolate coffee beans exactly constitutes an overdose. Keep a running tally of what you've eaten so when you keel over we'll have more accurate information for next time.
How many chocolate covered coffee beans do you think it's safe to eat?
As many as don't give you the shakes. But you were asking John, who will give you a much more sensible answer than I will, for I am addicted, and keep chocolate covered espresso beans around for caffine-related emergencies. They're medicinal!
(And wow, I take ONE DAY off of reading this blog to go have a life, and here we are talking about handcuffs and racy underwear and sutble pornography!)
You're trying to ignore me, would be more accurate.
Running tally...right. I've basically eaten an entire box. I'll check hiw much was in it. And since I left the obbo I've had a doubke espresso and three cups of horrible Yard coffee.
Mazarin, I get the shakes when I come off caffeine, not when I have more of it...
And that just goes to show you should never take a day off.
Although my latest post is possibly not very interesting, and probably not going to descend into 'interesting' comments. Although may keep me at work even longer than the 24 hours straight I was planning...
I have a friend in the US who ended up in Emergency with caffeine overdose after drinking a couple of pots of coffee, eating some coffee beans and I think having a caffeine pill or two on top of that. Remind me to tell you all about the palpitations he had and the amount of Valium they pumped into him so he wouldn't have a heart attack, one time.
>> I'm just suddenly surrounded by people who are somehow significantly filthier than most of the blokes I knew in the army. It's amazing.
>Welcome to the internet!
And I think your readership is overwhelmingly female, too, which just goes to show...
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