24 May 2011

Overtime, over worked, over here.

Ah, chaos, the usual state at the Yard.

Todays chaos is special though, because it's brought on the back of not just a royal wedding (overtime galore the other week. Stern warnings about costs and budgets still ringing in my ears) but today by Obama, visiting town. (overtime galore. Stern warnings...oh, I've said that bit already, haven't I?)

I'm not directly caught up in it - and thanks to the brilliant bike, I could even get through the utterly gridlocked parts of the capital this morning - but everyone's robbing Peter to pay Paul, so I can't have any extra staff or plod to help with arrests or any of that. Sadly crime doesn't stop just because Mr President is in town.

I'm sure he's a nice bloke, but the sooner he leaves again, the easier everyone's lives will be here. And his 'Beast' car, unstoppable, armoured etc. Apparently got stopped very effectively by a speed bump yesterday. Hah. He should have got a bike and gone incognito, not been dragged around in that monster.

Hope none of you got caught up in the chaos.

Half my people are talking about Chelsea Flower Show today. Given how much I like flowers I'mm sad to say I've never been. I think it's really hard to get tickets this late. Anyone know? Maybe next year... i'll just have to watch the highlights on the telly this time around.

Oh, and the overwhelming winner in the poll was tight hipsters. Excellent.

83 comments:

John H. D. Watson said...

I'd say I'd ask Mrs H about the tickets (I'd like to go too), but I'm genuinely a little afraid to after the sudden appearance of your bike parking at the end of the street. It's like rubbing the genie's lamp.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I've got far better things for you to be rubbing than lamps...

We'll just be more organised next time. I'll put it in my diary.

Anon Without A Name said...

Just wanted to offer a small round of applause for the title of this post.

PS: I've got far better things for you to be rubbing than lamps...

Yeah, I can't imagine why I ever described you as "filthy-minded" :-p

John H. D. Watson said...

Anon - I'm sure I can't imagine either.

L - Are you stuck in traffic or illegally riding down the pavements or something?

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm going to have to give them sandwiches in a minute, lest they eat the dogs, or each other. I'll let you guess which is more likely.

John H. D. Watson said...

You know, I think I liked it better when it wasn't reasonable to expect to get in touch with anyone any time of day. Now I just worry when I don't hear from you after 15 min, which, yes, I'm aware is completely stupid.

John H. D. Watson said...

Right, I've got to feed them, sorry. I'll assume something happened at work. It's toasted cheese and frozen peas all round. Risotto tomorrow?

Sally said...

Nothing going on at work when I left, John, and the Boss left a bit before me. I suppose there's a chance they called him back.

But he's probably out riding his new bike around, knowing him.

Kholly said...

I started out voting for tight hipsters and then thought, does none of the above mean he's wearing nothing at all? So I change my vote.

Hoping L is just stuck in some stupid presidential traffic.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sally - I suppose. It's not like him to just disappear though.

Sally said...

He's not at he yard - just called the night shift. And he hasn't been back since he left.

Obviously you've tried his mobile?

John H. D. Watson said...

Thanks. And yeah. Texted, called, etc. I'm sure he's fine really.

John H. D. Watson said...

All right, a bit less than completely sure.

L - I've put the boys the bed, though I doubt to sleep. Text me? Or something? It's just that you're usually so reliable. I feel like I ought to be phoning hospitals.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

sorry

I'm ok

Trills said...

Oh noes! Is L ok?

Speak to us Orio! The internet is worried!

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh thank god. Did something happen?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

i'm not okay
Bryan was here

Anon Without A Name said...

Oh shit.

John H. D. Watson said...

Shit. How not okay? Do you want me to call you?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I'm just a mess. not hurt

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

feel stupid

John H. D. Watson said...

Again, thank god. Can I call you a cab? I want to say I'll come get you, but Mrs Hudson's out, and Anthea's not on duty tonight. I can't leave the boys with strangers. I can get them up and bring them along?

And you're not stupid. He's stupid.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

No just I'll be ok

i might stay here

John H. D. Watson said...

Do you want to tell me what happened?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

when I unlocked the door he was right behind me. I should have been more careful

he wanted to know why i want the dissolution. and he wanted money

John H. D. Watson said...

Christ, what a bastard.

Not so much you should've been more careful, more he shouldn't have been sodding stalking you. This isn't your fault.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

i fucking knew what he was like. Should have known getting the court papaers with my bloody address on them would have ended up like this.

John H. D. Watson said...

I'm sorry, love. It went badly, I take it?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

yes

John H. D. Watson said...

I love you.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

probably makes you nearly as much of an idiot as I am then

John H. D. Watson said...

As long as we're idiots together, I don't mind.

John H. D. Watson said...

Sorry. Wrong joke to make?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

think I'm one big joke tonight

Kholly said...

You're probably a bit of a wreck right now, but don't ever believe John is an idiot for loving you. You're very lovable and you deserve John. I'm sure Bryan is an expert at pushing your buttons, but I doubt anything he said was valid. And if you've no reason to trust my opinion, and aren't sure you can trust yourself to trust John, try talking to someone like Mrs Hudson. You'll probably get baked goods as well as a hug and some validation.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

yeah, expert on me generally. knows me better than I know myself. Which says a lot.

John H. D. Watson said...

Whatever he said, he's wrong.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

wish I belived you.

he was right about you. Younger bloke, new relationship.someone not sick of the job yet not sick of all the times i won't turn up when I say i will, or work through the night.

Right that I'm still scared of him too. wouldn't be sat here if I wasn't

Anon Without A Name said...

Oh, god, Lestrade. Are you sure you're OK to be alone tonight? Maybe you should reconsider getting cab to John's?

You have a vicious ex, who wants to fuck with your head. You have a good man who loves you. Listen to the good one.

Sending you good thoughts, for what it's worth.

Bronwyn said...

I am trying very hard not to offer mayhem and bodily harm as I do remember that it makes Orio uncomfortable. But I am sorely tempted.

John, ignore him, get the boys up and go hug him stupid until those awful cold shaky feelings go away.

I'll pray for all y'all,
Bronwyn

John H. D. Watson said...

He's just one of those people with a special talent for casting everything in the worst light possible. It doesn't say anything about you, and it says everything about him - i.e. nothing good at all.

Mrs Hudson's back at last. Do you want me to come over?

Des said...

Examine the evidence. How likely is it that an abusive ex whom you never wanted to see again has any worthwhile insight into your life? It's tough not to listen to someone you knew for a long time, but there's a very good reason you're not with him anymore.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

don't come here. he could still be out there for all I know.

I'll get back to you. he can't try and follow the bike.

the boys asleep? i don't want them to see me like this

Bronwyn said...

Go John go!
Bronwyn

John H. D. Watson said...

Yeah, they're asleep.

If he could still be out there, are you sure you don't want me to come and get you? There's really not a lot he can do to me.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I don't want him even seeing you

He's probably gone. probably off his face in some pub by now.

John H. D. Watson said...

All right, love.

Bronwyn said...

Changed my mind. Call Sally and report him.
Bronwyn

mazarin221b said...

Me and my steel toed boots are with Bronwyn.

And my best wishes are with Greg and John.

John H. D. Watson said...

He's back. Not happy, obviously, quiet and a bit shaky, but here, and that's what matters. Thanks for the support, everyone.

Anon Without A Name said...

John - thanks for letting us know he's home safe.

Kholly said...

Hugs to you both. Take good care of him John.

Paula said...

Oh my God, I'm so sorry. In my opinion, it's really time to stop playing fair and ask Mrs. H. to do something.

Hugs to all of you.

Lindsay said...

Oh, that *fucker.*

Lestrade, please try to remember that the reason people like Bryan succeed with their slick mindfuckery is because they build their bullshit on a grain of truth. Don't look at the grain of truth in what he said to you and buy the whole loaf of bread.

I don't know him, but I know his type. They are all about control, and he is obviously clever enough to see that the dissolution will cut off his last tangible way of controlling you. So he's pissed off, and he's trying to hurt you psychologically, which I am sure he knows you well enough to realize is a lot more effective than physically. You WILL survive this and then you'll be done with him for good.

Lestrade, John, take care of each other. You are so unbelievably good for each other, it's blatantly obvious to any of us following your blogs; it's just sometimes hard to see when it's right up in your face. Believe it, believe you deserve each other and you deserve to be happy.

...And if Bryan raises a hand to Lestrade I hope one of you breaks his fucking jaw.

ladyeigh said...

The horrible horrible truth is that ass-hats can leave more of an impact on your life than wonderful people who only want the best for you.

Lindsay was right, the merest grain of reality becomes the foundation of a towering castle of crap.

Greg - I know where you are right now (apart from safe with John). I turned down a supply position in the town where my ex USED to live... I have no clue where he is now but I just could not go back. But, that isn't a bad thing. I know that I am different now. I KNOW that I am stronger.... and I KNOW that you are stronger.

Occasionally I dream about him. It sucks. But I got away... and so did you.

Never victims - survivors.

Did he do ANYTHING else other than talk? Let the good doctor administer all the healing required... mental, physical and spiritual. If he hurt you, it's on HIM not you... can you tell I've seen a professional about all this stuff... passing it forward.

I hope you sleep tonight, let John hold you.

Get a bloody restraining order too???

Kira
xoxo

Bronwyn said...

http://xkcd.com/415

I think this one might be workable.
TTFN,
Bronwyn

Bronwyn said...

I am informed by the friend reading over my shoulder that my last post was insensitive and rude. I'm not so sure but twasn't my intention. Thus I apologize if I was in fact insensitive and rude.
TTFN,
Bronwyn

Anonymous said...

Greg, I'm so sorry you went through that. Bryan is obviously a very disturbed person. He's weak in the way all people like that are weak-he claims he loves you then tries to tear you down thinking he can build himself up. He's a sick, unfortunate bastard that sees the world through a twisted lens.

Whereas John is loving, supportive and brave. So stop and think about it for a minute-who's opinion is more worthy of consideration? John not only loves you, but respects you. And I know you love and respect him. So when John says you are worth loving, respect his opinion AND BELIEVE HIM. Bryan says John's love for you will go away? I think John knows his own mind. (Bryan says your job will be too hard on John? John was in *a warzone.*) A person like Bryan will never have what you and John have. He's not capable of it, any more than my parents were capable of the kind of love my husband and I have. Bryan had love and he destroyed it. That he could have someone like you and treat you like he did is just more proof that he's a fool and I feel sorry for him. Don't give your power away to a fool by giving his bullshit more consideration than it deserves, which is none.

Kira is right that we are SURVIVORS. Bryan's trying to get into your head, tell you what your opinions are and make you his victim. You can choose not to play his game. I know it's easier said than done. It takes practice, support is really helpful, but you can change the mind set that makes you susceptible to his games. You were incredibly brave before when you got him out of your life. You can get him out of your head, too.

Maybe you should stay at John's until all this is done with? It would make it easier for him to be there for you and he wouldn't worry so much. And the love of children can be very healing. Mycroft and Sherlock think the world of you and we all know how smart they are, right? And the security detail wouldn't hurt either. Please, at least think about it.

Sending supportive thoughts your way,

~one_traveller (Cynthia)

humantales said...

I'm glad you're there with John and the boys. Although I've never been through anything at all like that (and thank God for it), I suspect you'll have a lapfull of cuddly Sherlock when he wakes up. Mycroft is enough older that his support will take a different form; considering what I've heard of him, heaven only knows.

I hope Sally has heard that L is OK and in good hands. And maybe it's petty, but I kinda hope Mrs. Holmes has something to say about mistreating one of the two men doing such a nice job raising and protecting her sons. (Remember that when the poison hurts: she trusts you with her sons. To the extent of making sure you can join them on vacation.)

Every form of positive energy I have is coming your way. Be well.

Anonymous said...

I also second what Kholly said about talking to Mrs. Hudson. She's been there before, she knows you but isn't as close to the situation.

~one_traveller

P.S. Your spam filter says 'ousto.' It obviously agrees with me about getting Bryan out of your head.

innie said...

Oh, goodness. Lestrade, you are absolutely strong enough to deal with Bryan, with or without John, and you should count it as your good luck that John won't let you stand alone.

John, my hat is off to you. You're amazing.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Thanks everyone.

Especially John.

Elizabeth said...

he was right about you. Younger bloke, new relationship.someone not sick of the job yet not sick of all the times i won't turn up when I say i will, or work through the night.

Lestrade, John seems to get worried for your well-being — not angry at you — when work gets demanding. And after six months, there's no evidence that his feelings are going to change.

All my best to you all.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I don't know what to say to you all. You're all very kind people.

I'm sorry I'm so full of doubts right now, mainly about myself, that it'll take a while to process all the advice. I'm not ignoring it.

I didn't give in to anything he wanted last night. Which is good. But also means I don't know what he'll do next. Which isn't.

One thing - and please don't take this the wrong way - a lot of you are building John up as some sort of perfect partner. That puts a lot of pressure on him. He's allowed to end this relationship any time he wants. So please don't make him feel like he's any less of a good person if he does ever choose to.

Anon Without A Name said...

Lestrade, very glad to see that you seem to be a bit better this morning. *Very* glad that you made it home last night.


[For when you're processing: John's not perfect, and neither are you (as he pointed out the other day, you've both got a lot of baggage; just because yours feels more immediate doesn't mean his doesn't exist), but you're both good men who try to do right by the people you love and care for. I'm sure that won't change regardless of the situation, or the choices either of you make in the future.]

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Right, I've thought about this all morning. There's no way to say it without sounding like a bastard.

I know John is a wonderful person. I know he loves me. I know he's there for me. I know he's strong, and I know he's got his problems and flaws like the rest of us.

But Bryan was all those things too, at first. I didn't marry him two years into our relationship because he was a bastard. We stood up in front of dozens of people and declared we'd do anything for each other. Didn't make it happen. He let his problems consume him, and we went from having problems together and supporting each other, to having problems which we didn't talk about to being each other's problems.

So I know you're trying to help, and I understand what youre trying to say, but that's what my brain counters it with.

And I'm not for a second saying John is going to turn into some violent manipulative bastard. I very much doubt he ever could. I'm just saying none of us can predict the future.

humantales said...

One of the first, and hardest, lessons I had to learn when I got married: Perfect = Bad. Fights = Good. (Admittedly, there are good fights and bad fights.)

You're right to object that John isn't perfect, and that you didn't start either relationship looking to fail. At the same time, Brian has you focusing on the negatives of your life. As I was just explaining to my son last night, focusing on the negatives makes life negative. So, for the moment, leave John, and the boys, out of the equation.

What does Greg Lestrade need? Do you need the dissolution, or is it more pain than it's worth? Do you want to go it alone for a while? Or, do you want to say "I'm going to have faith in my ability to make a choice, with all of the experience I've gained along the way, that I can choose someone who is good for me"? What you have with John is usually sweet and romantic, but it's also early days. It's scary, and Brian's reminding you of what can go wrong.

About half my life ago, I was about to get married. And I was scared to death. I had just watched my parents' marriage die, I wasn't sure I was really in love, and I had no idea if I was making the right decision. I took a chance. And I got lucky, and we've both worked hard, and it's worked. But it ain't no fairy tale, love, and never will be.

There are no guarantees in life except this one. If you don't risk your heart, it'll never be broken. But you're a lot more likely to be lonely.

Sorry for the harangue. I hate watching manipulators hurt people, and from what you've said, you and John have a chance at making happiness.

All my best thoughts are coming your way. I hope you find the best path through it all.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Thanks, Humantales. None of you will be surprised to hear that the happiness and love John and the boys introduced to my life far outweighs any other emotions, and the support John gives me is amazing. So no chance of me giving that up because of Bryan, on top of everything else he's taken from me.

humantales said...

Didn't say it would be the smart move, but sometimes saying that you can brings how important it is up to the front.

Positive thoughts your way. (Is it nice your way? Maybe a good ride would remind of the good things?) (With all your safety gear please?)

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Yeah, I appreciate that. And I have thought about it, obviously. But the only reasons I would leave them all are all the wrong reasons.

I might get out for a bit. But I do owe everyone dinner tonight, after last night.

Anon Without A Name said...

You don't sound like a bastard. You sound like a realist and pragmatist who's been fucked over in the past. Really doesn't help that you've currently got someone trying to mindfuck you for shits and giggles. No wonder you need some time to clear your mind.

And you're right, of course. There are no guarantees. Not for you, not for John, not for any of us. But you already explained your response to that to humantales, "the happiness and love John and the boys introduced to my life far outweighs any other emotions".

Still sending good thoughts. Hugs too, if you're in the market for them (John too).

KHolly said...

No, John's not perfect. And there's no telling, 5 or 10 years from now if he'll be in your life or be as loving and supportive as he seems to be at the moment. Hopefully yes, but who knows. But right now, today, he's able to give you love and support and today is the only day you need to get through.

Do what you need to do. I doubt anyone feels like you owe them dinner, but if it'll make you feel better then have at it. Go for a ride or go for a walk, be alone, or be with John and the boys, get Mycroft to tell you a joke, or Sherlock to draw you a picture. I'm fairly certain that whatever you need until you can get your head back where you want it to be will be on offer.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I got out of work a bit early - I was little use there today, frankly. Got our for a couple of hours on the bike. Had to go and look something up for a case anyway, so did that too.

Meant I got back in time to cook. (Sherlock definitely felt like I owed him dinner.) I like it though, means I'm busy and feeling useful.

Then had a talk to Mycroft, while John did some schoolwork with Sherlock.

Think Mycroft finds it quite hard to imagine that someone like me has been bullied and picked on, just like he has been.

John H. D. Watson said...

It was a nice evening, and the risotto was certainly better than toasted cheese. Is it too late to make brownies, do you think?

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

I was unconscious last time you made them. how long did they take?

John H. D. Watson said...

...About an hour and a half, but I had to start over twice. They might go faster this time.

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Go for it. I doubt I'm going to sleep much anyway, but the smell of baking can only help.

John H. D. Watson said...

All right.

Anonymous said...

You deserve every thing you get pig. He should of kicked your head in

John H. D. Watson said...

Oh for god's sake, piss off and get a fucking life.

Trills said...

What John said!

Also it's should HAVE. Or very possibly should've. Go back to school and learn some grammar and manners...

Greg 'Orio' M F Lestrade said...

Thanks John, Trills.

As for you, well, every time you comment I learn a little more about you.

You talk a good fight, but where are you? I'm not hard to find. So either you're a coward or you can't get to me. Probably both.

Anonymous said...

I was just catching up on the blog and I'm glad to see you're feeling at least a bit better after some time with John and the boys.

I meant it when I said John is loving, supportive and brave. I wouldn't call him perfect and wouldn't mean to put any pressure on him to be. My husband is my favorite person in the world and I wouldn't call him perfect-and thank God. I don't know that a perfect person and I would have much use for each other, and people who think they're perfect can be pretty annoying:)

Yeah, none of us know what the future will hold and you're both free to leave the relationship if you choose, with no slight to either of you. I'd just hope it wouldn't be because of that crap Bryan was selling, so I was glad to hear you weren't buying it, that you realized the good you have now outweighs the rest and you weren't going to give him that power.

I've been reading all the great things people have been writing, that you're strong enough to deal with this with or without John, but whatever happens in the future it's good he's there with you now. Him and the boys, Nicky, Mrs. Hudson, Sally and anyone else in your life who's good for you. I would wish for you what I want for myself-to know in your own mind, all the time, that you are worthy. While you're on the way there I'm glad you have the support of good people who will remind you who you are.

~one_traveller

PS to the troll-I pray someday you'll realize when you act this way you're only really hurting yourself. You can do better and be better. I hope you will.

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