On the way up to John, the boys and Mrs Holmes. You'll need to read his blog to see where they (we) are staying. It looks stunning. Mrs H got me first class tickets. Very nice of her.
Some of you will have spotted in comments last night (on John's blog again) that I got hit in the face (again. Why do people like hitting me so much?) so am sporting a pair of black eyes like a panda. Just how I wanted to look for the boys' Mother. Great.
Can't compete with the photo Danger posted, but here's a bit of London for you all:
Bit hazy, but the Thames looking quite nice.
Had a very bizarre conversation earlier (I say that as if it doesn't happen every day. But this one was at work, not with one of the boys. Which makes it noteworthy.)
There's a DS on secondment to us at the moment, she might transfer into one of the teams. Anyway, she'd obviously overheard Sally and I talking earlier, discussing John.
So, later in the afternoon she said something about it being nice that I had a boyfriend who was a doctor to go home to.
Without thinking, I said "He's not at home, he's staying up in Norfolk with the boys and their mum for the weekend, I'm going up there later."
She put her hand on my arm and said something like "Wow, you two must have something really special if you're secure enough to let him stay with his ex, without you there. It's very brave of you."
It's safe to say my brain wasn't exactly firing on all cylinders, and I probably did stare at her with a blank expression for a bit too long. So she sort of gasped and said "Oh, God, I didn't mean to imply you should worry - sorry, I'm sure nothing would ever go on, I mean, if they're...it's just nice they can be friends, and you can... and you can trust them, and not worry, and..." yeah, well she kept talking. In the end I had to stop her apologising, because I'd started to laugh (possibly slightly hysterically...) at the thought of Danger and Mrs Holmes. (Sorry Mrs H. It's just not something I ever needed to imagine. No offence intended.)
When I told her the slightly-complicated actual scenario she just blushed bright red. Poor woman.
Right, now got to try to make sure I don't fall asleep and end up back in London.
72 comments:
Oh. Lestrade, you and John live a complicated and unusual life. Maybe a little less truth-telling, or more vagueness, is in order? Otherwise you're going to keep getting awkward reactions like this.
I can imagine that the image her comments evoked would be a little unsettling.
Anyway, enjoy your stay with the group and take care of yourself, your bruises, and your (possibly) broken nose!
She's not the only one - when we were picking up stuff for dinner, the cashier made the same assumption, less one divorce as she obviously didn't know about you and Mrs H still wears a ring.
Fortunately Sherlock was there to explain everything in his own special way. I particularly like the impatient, why-isn't-this-obvious tone.
Lawless - I had to tell her the truth, she'd have kept digging herself into a bigger hole forever otherwise. And the truth isn't THAT complicated. I think it's the vagueness that gets everyone in trouble. Anyway, it didn't occur to me that the DS would know anything about me - obviously the office grapevine working well on some fronts though.
Danger - Yeah, it is often easier to let Sherlock explain. Although if he ever meets any of my bosses they will have to enter into debate about whether I'm actually 'his' DI, or in fact the Met's DI. He seems pretty certain he has ownership rights.
No contest - Sherlock would definitely win. Even if your bosses were willing to get into a rousing game of is-not-is-so with a five year old, I'm sure he's more stubborn than they are.
Mrs H suggests we get little cards made up with Sherlock's speech on them and then you can just hand them. I'm almost sure she's joking.
Quite possibly.
I'd rather be your DI...but yeah, you'd never win that battle with Sherlock either.
Does she joke?
Mrs. H's suggestion sounds very handy. She could add on your card, Lestrade, that you're Sherlock's DI.
Fortunately Sherlock was there to explain everything in his own special way. I particularly like the impatient, why-isn't-this-obvious tone.
Awww! How cute. :3 I think it's kind of Mrs. H to be inviting Lestrade, too. I hope you all keep having fun. :3
No, I never would, but you're my boyfriend, so that's probably good enough, yes?
...Possibly? It's a bit hard to tell.
Lupe - it is very kind of her, yes. When she started telling me on Mycroft's phone what was going to happen I was pretty gutted that I didn't think I'd get to be here with them.
Danger - yeah, I'll settle for that. At least Sherlock isn't even vaguely interested in 'boring love stuff'.
His teenage years will be interesting.
I'm fairly sure all young boys have some odd ideas about love. I'm sure his teenage years will be as horrible awkward as everyone else's. If possibly for different reasons.
And if he really does find it all 'boring' still, then there'll be a few heartbroken people along the way!
Good God, that's mind-boggling. Just thinking about the kind of person Sherlock would find interesting enough to date. *boggles some more* Mycroft . . . Mycroft I can see dating a bit more easily. Though again, I can't really imagine who.
Hmmm. IMHO, they'll both be heartbreakers.
Later gator,
Bronwyn
*Shudder* Can we not talk about the currenty 5 year olds' "teenage years?" Mine's already picked a couple of wives. And asked their fathers for approval (Bwuh? Didn't get that from us!) The one he wants changes week to week, and when I asked if one in particular wanted to marry him, he said "Well, she forgets. I have to remind her."
I'd rather have your problem, John. Precocious in this area is NOT something I'm looking forward to.
Also - Assumptions. They do make asses out of you and me. I feel kind of bad for her, but really, she should have just worn a polite "Huh?" look on her face, or better still, just not said anything at all other than "Isn't that lovely? Have a great time!" Then found out what the heck was up in the time honored tradition of most office gossips - by asking the secretary! :) (I perhaps have employed this method before. Ahem.)
L - well, yeah, I definitely still thought girls had cooties at his age. It is hard to imagine the sort of person he'd date though.
It is hard to imagine the sort of person he'd date though.
Yup. Because usually adults are so good at guessing kids future partners.
I was frequently told I'd end up with a lovely girl.
And whilst you are lovely, I think you'd make quite an odd girl.
I could say they were half right then, but I don't think lovely is the right word for me at all. You on the other hand...
Let's not get into a fight about who's the loveliest. You are. End of.
Well, right now maybe.
Don't argue with a police officer. Always
Will if I want. Going to arrest me?
Could do. Under section 5 of the Public Order Offences act, by virtue of Schedule 7 of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005.
You'll have to hope I put in a suggestion to bind you over, rather than have you put away...
By the way, train now ten mins late.
I think you just made all that up. And if you put me away, you'll have no one to keep you warm at the beach.
In that case I'll bind you over (I want to put 'my knee' on the end of that sentence. But Mrs Holmes probably has a bad enough impression of me, without adding to it...)
And I could spout out criminal justice acts in my sleep. None of that is made up. (In fact, I'm surprised I don't spout it out in my sleep.)
20 mins late now.
Made up as regards its application to me at least. My crimes are unlikely ever to be serious or organised. I assure you, the binding's unnecessary.
it's a slight misnomer, I agree. It's a public disorder charge, invented for when you haven't really done anything else we can charge you for. So it does apply exactly to you.
I'll be the judge of whether restraint is necessary or not...binding over is up to a judge.
Sadly I don't have my cuffs with me.
Just as well, I'm sure I don't have the appropriately colored handkerchief either.
So you actually can arrest people for looking at you funny?
You didn't pack your full handkerchief collection?
And yes, essentially. I can do you for 'distributing or displaying to another person any writing, sign or other visible representation which is threatening, abusive or insulting'. So if I think your face is threatening, abusive or insulting, I can do you for that. Also applies if I think you've provoked someone else to do the same...or if you use insulting or threatening language. And I get to decide what constitutes a threat or insult.
And people think the police have too much power.
Good job you like me then. Is panda an insult? My face has on occasion been threatening, abusive, and insulting, but probably not just at the moment.
Lestrade, I'm reminded of some of the more outlandish reasons for arrest that the Watch employ in Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. If you haven't read them, I'm sure Danger could recommend some to you. I think you'd quite like Sam Vimes.
*raises an eyebrow* I'm not sure if y'all are deliberately laying the innuendo on with a trowel or if it's just the slight variations in meaning between UK English and US English. Because, dude, that took a turn for the deeply filthy there from my end.
*shrugs philosophically* I suppose it could be me.
Later gator,
Brownyn
Bronwyn -
Nope, not just you. Heh.
I'm often thinking "I'm glad it's not me explaining these conversations to Sherlock."
I'm sure I don't know what you all mean. That was a serious discussion of police procedure.
Kholly - just mention it's to do with love and Sherlock has no interest.
The rest of you, I echo Danger's sentiment. No idea what you can possibly mean.
And I shall just be pleased that the SO act of 1956, section 12, was repealed by the SO act of 1967. Otherwise I'd have to arrest myself.
Danger, your face has never been any of those things to me.
Honestly, you two, it's like reading the script of a Carry On film around here sometimes :-)
Lestrade - all right-thinking people are pleased about that.
Hope you're both enjoying that snuggle on the beach.
Nameless - when my phone vibrated in my pocket as that comment came in, Danger honestly did the 'is that your phone or are you just pleased to see me...'
And then the comment involves Carry On films.
I think I made Mrs H jump I laughed so loudly.
And that's not easy to do.
Sherlock manages it on a regular basis.
We'll have to put Sherlock's picture up on the fridge when we get back. it's great. And I avoided his time-honoured greeting of a kick in the shin. Which doesn't mean he's escaped the talk we shall be having.
Thanks for that, by the way - the forthcoming talk. You don't have to, it's my responsibility really. But I appreciate it.
If I fail miserably you can have your turn. I'd like to pretend I can use all the training the Met has provided me with to reason with one 5 yr old though.
I'll write a letter of complaint to them if it doesn't work.
No, I just mean... I don't know how to say it, so I'm going to kiss you instead. Surprise.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
And as romantic and nice as this is...I think even Mycroft has the good sense not to want to be out here when the building clouds decide to rain on us all.
Which means I get to go and see the windmill now (when everyone's packed an ready.)
And we can pick this up where we left off, Danger...
re: Sherlock's teen years.
When my brother Sean was a little boy, he firmly told us that he was NEVER going to have sex. EVER. He's 27 now. we make fun of him to this day.
Lestrade- Here in my state we have loitering and disorderly conduct, which serve the same basic roles. Around the office we call those types of arrest "contempt of cop."
That reminds me, can you still charge people with affray over there, do you know? It's a common law crime, I was reading up because I got in a minor debate with a judge about it on Friday morning. (Judge said it wasn't a crime, I said it was. I'm right- I looked it up after, ha!)
Lestrade - if I'd known it was going to have that effect, I'd've kept it up all night (the sound of Sid James laughing goes here) ;-p
Between the picture and the lack of shin-kicking, it sounds like Sherlock's calmed down a bit? Poor little toad; life's difficult enough to understand when you're five, I can only imagine that having a genius IQ makes it so much more frustrating. He's lucky to have two excellent father figures in his life to help him get through it. I'm guessing that the forthcoming talk is going to be less of a one-off conversation, and more of an ongoing dialogue for the next several years.
I hope Mycroft managed to get some star-gazing done last night before it rained.
Nameless - I do try and tone down the innuendo around Mrs Holmes.
It is hard, though...
Not sure about Sherlock. He lies far too easily. We're just having lunch, then he and I are going for a long walk along the beach (well, I imagine he'll ride on my shoulders for some of it) to talk. And to leave Mrs H, Mycroft and John to relax and have some peace and quiet together. I imagine this will indeed be an ongoing topic.
He did spend this morning 'helping' Mrs H make Mycroft's birthday cake. Which meant Danger and I got a bit of a lie in. (All right, I admit, I did get up, notice they were in the kitchen and run back to bed to pretend we weren't awake...)
Mycroft did manage some stargazing before the clouds rolled in. I think he was almost secretly pleased that he had an excuse not to stay out all night. Everyone was pretty tired.
Lindsay - yes, you can. Under the public order act, 1986. You'd be done for use or threats to use unlawful violence here. You can be fined or put away, depending on different factors.
Yeah, I'm not sure about some of our laws, to be honest. They're fine if you've only got good coppers, but that's never going to happen. Some people will always abuse their powers.
Yeah, that's the problem with laws like that, very subject to abuse. And you have the gray areas, where the officers are basically using those types of offenses as an excuse to arrest people they suspect may have drugs on them. On the one hand I can see their point (and a lot of folks hanging out aimlessly in certain neighborhoods ARE there to buy drugs, yeah)...on the other hand, it leads to a lot of people being hassled and a rise in community distrust of the cops. Nobody ever said policing was easy. :P (Well, maybe stupid people have said it.)
Personally I consider affray 'abated by arrest' if there are no real injuries and neither party wants to press charges for assault. Two idiots (usually drunk) going at it, wouldn't stop when the police told them to knock it off, arrested and spent the night in booking sobering up, problem solved. It's sort of a pick-your-battles thing; I don't think a jury would find a case like that too compelling.
I'm glad you had a (sneaky) lie-in. Sundays are the best days for those! Hope you all are having a splendid last day at the windmill! And a happy birthday to Mycroft again, although I hope he's far too busy enjoying himself to come read this.
We have stop and search laws for that, Lindsay. (Section 60, Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994) so no need for an arrest (and all the paperwork that involves.) And yes, it does lead to a lot of community distrust.
We're on the way back now.
Sherlock is glowering at me slightly. 'The Talk' probably deserves a whole entry to itself.
I am not a parent, so I have no expertise and my opinion is less than worthless, but perhaps more hugs, before the glowering turns into ignoring the good advice? I get impression that words of wisdom tend to sink in better when there are hugs involved...
(And if all else fails, the adult Sherlock will no doubt appreciate The Talk, even if five year old Sherlock is struggling to)
Heh. Like I have any expertise as a parent? Hugs certainly can't hurt.
Nameless - your opinion is as good as either of ours!
Glowering is actually a small victory, I feel. We started off with him saying he hated me, my job and wished I'd die. We moved into violence and trying to run away, onto and through excuses and justification. Glowering is almost as if he's actually thinking about what I said.
And he's now best friends with John again, it seems. (needs one of us as an ally, obviously)
I imagine we'll move toward hugging when we're back and it's his bedtime. We did at least get rid of some frustration by throwing rocks into the sea. And talked about John, Mycroft and Mycroft's school whilst doing it.
Dare I ask how the school talk part of it went?
Well, he's accepted it is going to happen, no matter what he does. Small victory? And he's quite looking forward to having you all to himself, it seems.
He even asked a few questions about the school (most of which I couldn't answer to his satisfaction, admittedly), and what Mycroft will do there, and why he has to go.
He's still not happy about it though. But hopefully will voice his dissatisfaction via discussion, not just saying it's stupid...maybe.
One can only hope. And I'd say getting him to accept it's going to happen is a pretty large victory actually.
Lestrade - "It is hard, though..." I see what you mean. Perhaps you need to come at it from a different angle?
Glad to hear that Sherlock appears to have found a way to take his frustrations out on inanimate objects.
John - you've got several months more experience than me; that makes you an expert from where I'm standing :-)
Believe me, I've come at it from every angle. Tried to satisfy, done my best...but whatever I plan, things never seem to slide into place satisfactorily.
But you know,I shall keep my pecker up, and hammer away at the problem.
...I knew that was coming.
Sorry Danger, it just keeps popping up.
Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Hope we haven't peaked too soon.
If there were some call for this talent of yours, I swear you could've retired years ago. It's a gift.
Retire as in 'pack it all in'? Retire as in 'go to bed'? Or retire as in 'withdraw'?
Or all three. Not necessarily in that order.
That's possibly the first time someone's ever called me gifted.
I vote for choice B.
Well that's ridiculous - you obviously have a gift for police work as well.
Oddly enough, the Met doesn't go all in for telling people how great they are.
Even the long service medal is no longer 'long service and exemplary conduct'...basically it now just means you've remembered to come to work each day for twenty years.
It's a wonder they have anyone left working for them.
Could say the same for the army.
What can I say, either we love the job, or we're utterly insane.
Come here and examine my head.
The Army's not so much a job for a lot of people, as an opportunity to get paid for running away from home.
Hold on, I'm blogging.
Damn, I ran away from home for free.
Blogging over checking your boyfriend's sanity? I see where your priorities lie. Or does it just mean we're as insane as each other?
I think blogging causes insanity, that's my only explanation.
Yeah, but we've already established you and the army would've get along exactly like a house on fire.
Right, blogging accomplished. I can now examine your head.
If we take you to be the army, then we do indeed get along like a house on fire.
Smokin' hot.
You can examine any part of me you like.
Post a Comment