So what can I talk to them about? they are all intelligent kids, but not all up to Sherlock's standard. And I don't know anything about what children like. I'm fairly sure they won't all enjoy murders as much as Sherlock.
all help gratefully received.
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE!!
Harry has just been kind enough to send me a picture of Danger, when he was younger - in retaliation for the current poll on his blog
I'm guessing Danger is about 2 here, and learning to feed himself. Or do I mean 22? Anyway, I can tell you he never learnt. He still eats like this.
Thanks Harry! I owe you a...non alcoholic beverage of your choice?
41 comments:
Dinosaurs? I think I liked dinosaurs at their age... Christ, that was a long time ago.
1. I know f-all about dinosaurs, except they were sometimes big and lived a while ago (or are now employed in the English legal systen)
2. I think she's angling for something which will encourage her little darlings to become law abiding citizens, not criminal masterminds. Not thinking of anyone in particular, Sherlock.
If you cloned dinosaurs you could ride them and scare all the criminals.
How about you clone them, with Mycroft, and then I ride them? I must have missed the class on cloning at school. Mind you, when I was at school dinosaurs still roamed the earth.
Have you ever seen 'Jurassic Park'?
IS IT A PARK FOR DINOSAURS LIKE A ZOO?? CAN WE GO THERE???
Tell them a tale of crimefighting! With running, and climbing over walls and kicking doors down and all sorts of exciting stuff.
That is what your job is like, right? :P
@Sherlock: If only people could visit Jurassic park. I'd live there.
I remember having a police officer come talk to my first grade class, and she talked a lot about road safety (boring) and then we all got fingerprinted, which was really fun.
Good luck!
Sherlock - No. It's a cautionary tale of what might go wrong if someone were to attempt that. I'd say you should watch it, but Mycroft would probably have an aneurysm over the scientific flaws. But it did make a whole generation of kids love dinosaurs again.
Blue-eyed - yes, just like that. Car chases, foot chases, acts of heroism, kicking in doors, tackling armed criminals, being adored and respected by the public. Oh, no, hang on...I'm thinking of TV again. Maybe I should take in some paperwork for them to do.
Innie - last time I fingerprinted a whole class of kids I arrested two of them on outstanding charges afterward. Not that Sherlock's class would lead to that. I think they're intelligent enough to wear gloves.
Maybe you can try talking about forensic science for the scientifically minded, and the reasons driving the criminals to commit their crimes might interest those who like to study human nature and society and all that stuff. :D
You could teach them how to pick handcuff locks. That would be useful.
Yana - Ah, you mean tell them that the nice people with the boxes of...stuff take samples away to their nice clean lab and do..stuff, and then send me some paperwork. Yes. Not sure I can make a whole talk out of that. But I could just tell the teacher that she should get a Forensic Tech to talk to them, not me.
And I'd have to speak to the Yard's lawyers to check I wasn't breaking any laws by telling them about my opinions of some human nature...
Mycroft - No. Because I know you'd hack the class webcams and record it or something, and when you run the country you'd blackmail me and I'd just be a tiny pawn in your game of world domination.
I'm not making THAT mistake again.
Sometimes you're weirder than Sherlock.
I'm not sure if I should be proud or worried at that accusation...
I recommend whole-heartedly you call the teacher to ask what they're studying right now. From there, it's easy.
If they're studying history, talk about the history of Scotland Yard or Jack the Ripper, etc.
For the hardcore science groups, you can discuss counterfeiting, which leads to ink identification and really crazy simple ink chromatography demonstration.
One of the best we ever had in my class was a sergeant in violent crimes who came to speak to my high school boys. He started with "There are seven rules I give my kids and these are the cases that prompted them." Some were hilarious and some were tragic but all of them were interesting,and he didn't sound like McGruff the Crime Dog. Also? Easy to tweak the gore level.
Good luck, Silver Fox.
Tinkerty-tonk!
Bronwyn
I told John to make you watch Arnold Schwarzenegger's Kindergarten Cop to give you ideas, but I don't think he liked my suggestion. :P I don't know, tell them about what the police does, tell them they can trust a police officer if they are lost or need any kind of help... And you can always tell them funny anecdotes and that stuff. You're probably a good storyteller, considering that Sherlock always seems to be excited for you to tell him about cases. :D
To quote Sherlock, YOU'RE MEAN.
I'm just the messenger.
Er not you Lupe.
I'm not sure I should admit this, but I still think John is a cutie patootie.
Ah, me too, Innie. He hasn't changed much, really. Slightly less spaghetti hanging out of his mouth, most of the time. Slightly longer hair. Bit more stubble. Basically the same, though!
Bronwyn - when I was that age at school we probably had some shoddy potato prints on the wall and a few poor renderings of the alphabet.
They have equations. I don't even know if they're chemical or algebraic. Asking what they studied would probably require me to attend Sherlock's class for a few years to understand. And I don't think they want to wait that long.
I'm thinking fingerprinting is good, reasonably easy and has some good case-stories attached. So maybe that?
Fingerprinting is good! Messy too. Let me know if you want any labs or resources. I've a plethora. (I apologize for my overbearing teacheryness. I love my job and I would kill to have Sherlock and Mycroft in my accelerated classes. I teach all gifted/talented boys. I get away with all kinds of classroom insanity. We'd have such fun!)
Tinkerty-tonk,
Bronwyn
Fingerprinting is a bit like scientific finger-painting, so probably good for kids. And it's fun to have a sheet of your own fingerprints to take home. Well it was for me in my forensic science class in high school.
You could get their fingerprints blown up big for more wall art? It might be a bit less severe than the equations, and they'd always remember you.
Forget I said all that. I'm actually still not speaking to you. Also I'm plotting your doom.
Don't mentioin the words 'blown up' with anything in relation to Sherlock's school work. I believe it makes his teacher nervous. But I will ensure I take your dabs soon, in case of my untimely death.
And does this count as speaking? It's more typing.
Doom, not death. It'll be much worse than death.
Worse than death...You're going to cook for me?
You're only digging yourself in deeper, dear.
I didn't think I could dig any deeper. And calling me 'Dear' makes me think you're channeling Mrs Hudson. If you can channel her during the cooking, everything will be fine. But if you start trying to tame my hair before I leave the house or telling me to wrap up warm I may have to buy you some fluffy slippers and hair curlers and let the two of you enjoy daytime TV together.
my crushes grow stronger every day. ♥
I already tell you to wrap up warm before you go out. It's not my fault you're constitutionally incapable of remembering your scarf.
You know what they say, Danger, first the memory goes, then....other stuff?
Ah well, I had a decent thirty years pretending I was grown up, dressing myself, tying my own shoelaces, doing what I wanted. And largely that worked out fine. With small pockets when I shall admit I perhaps wasn't the best person to judge what was good for me.
All downhill to the nursing home from here, I guess. Will you still love me when you're mashing up my food and pushing me around the park in a chair?
'Small pockets'...
Yeah, I remember some of those, Sir. Like the famous 'it's not broken' wrist, after you did a flying tackle on that bloke in Southwark.
Or when you passed out in the toilet after being awake for about three days straight and Davies had to kick the door down.
John, you should fit him with a tracking device. By the sounds of it those boys wouldn't find it very hard. Although I've got to admit, he's doing much better recently. I think it's the guilt he'd know he'd feel if he was to worry you. He just tells the rest of us to shut up.
That was a slight fracture, Sally, so there. And the doc said the passing out was probably just low blood sugar.
So shut up.
Oh for god's sake! It's not like I'm buying you mittens-onna-string and darning your socks for you! I'm not entirely certain what sock darning involves anyway.
Oooh wish someone would come in and do fingerprinting with us. All the police presence we ever got was a couple of them about three years ago telling us how to protect ourselves (meh. Apparently pepper spray is useless) and that insulting a police officer is a crime. So very, very interesting...
No, but Sherlock bought me gloves, and you've given me socks (admittedly your socks, not new or darned ones, when you spotted mine were a bit tired. And I've worn your boxers before. But we won't go into that...)
Sylvia - just repeat that last bit, loudly, to Danger - the bit about insulting police officers...
Sylv, sorry my phone changed your name. Apologies.
That's just because you never want to go home and do your laundry.
Who would want to go home to an empty flat and no food and do their laundry??
I actually worry sometimes that Mrs Hudson enjoys doing my laundry a bit too much. And I've caught her sniffing one of your jumpers.
That's because my jumpers smell nice.
No one would want that, unless they were looking to escape momentarily from two small geniuses and the chaos they cause.
Post a Comment